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Cadillac 95 STS, 02 SLS
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I have a very good friend whose daughter is getting married next year and feels that her parents legitimately owe her a $30,000. (or more) wedding. The family is of moderate means, Dad is a retired Fed civil servant (senior GS grade) Mom worked to help put the four kids through under-grad and graduate school. Daughter is now doing (she's a MD) her residency as is her fiance. Dad and Mom's position is they spent a great deal on education and haven't had a vacation in 20 years and think the kids can pay for their own wedding if they want a "big" wedding.

My opinion doesn't carry much weight with my friend because I only had a son, and refused to pay anything towards my son's and daughter-n-law's wedding other than the traditional "Rehearsal Dinner" (for 35 people). On principle, I object to families, my daughter-in-law's family is of moderate middle-class means, going into debt (which they did) to the tune of $35,000. for a one day event of no asset value. My wife and I gave the couple a check for $35,000. for a down payment on their first house (this money could only be used for a down payment and no other purpose.

So any way what do you think about this supposed requirement for an expensive wedding for a daughter. Seems that $30,000. is about average in recent years!
 

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You're right. She's stupid. And they're stupid if they did it.
 

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I think the parents created the "entitlement monster" and now they get to reap what they've sown.
 

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2010 DTS
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To expect it is pretty arrogant after being put through medical school. I put 2 daughters through college so they graduated with no debt. I am retiring probably the end of this year so both where told they are on their own for that. Oldest just got engaged. I'll probably pay for it after it's all said and done, but in the mean time, I'll let her plan like she's spending her money, THEN pick up the tab.
 

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1990 350 Brougham (The cruiser), 1988 Mark VII LSC (The DD)
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Slap that gal across the face and tell her to pay for her own damn wedding. That is the problem with kids today, they expect everything from their parents (look at me talking like I'm all grown up). The only thing I hope for from my parents is a place to live while I am going though college.

My mom is a lab tech at a hospital and my dad is a project manager for ComEd (power company) and both have been at their current jobs for nearly 25 years, so they are very well off. Once in a while I get a loan from my dad to buy some toys but that is it. The most recent loan (to buy the Brougham) was not even a real loan, just an advance on my tax return. My parents raised me the way they were raised. My grandpa drove a truck 350,000 miles a year to put my mom and her sister and brother through college, so she knows how hard life can be and raised me the same way. I get no freebies.
 

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1988 Allante, 1999 Deville Concours
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She's entitled to absolutely nothing more than two oxen and a pig, the traditional dowry.
 

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2002.5 F55 CORSA STS, 2014 Explorer XLT FWD
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Mom & Pop oughtta spring for a room at the nearest Holiday Inn.........no more. They have already paid their dues and daughter is probably by no means a blushing virgin in a white gown.

I have 3 daughters; all are successful professional business women in their 30's. We all have an understanding: I'll attend your wedding if you supply the Maker's Mark.
 

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2003 Cadillac Seville STS 73k Miles, '90 Chevy 1500 Reg Cab
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I agree with the OP.....dropping that much money on a wedding is crazy. I'm of that age where my HS and college classmates are getting married and have been going to several weddings a year for the last several years and its shocking to see how much some people will spend on it. I've got a co-worker who's getting married in a month and she just can't possibly fathom spending less than 30k on a wedding....her's is costing closer to 40 and Mom and Dad are picking up the whole tab. Reception hall for 2k, decorations for the church were 3k, the food was I think 7k(they're having the choice of 4 different main courses!), to me its all money down the drain. Whether you spend 5k or 55k you're just as married(or not married in some cases) 5 years down the road, and those that spent 5k are likely much better off financially.

Whenever it comes the time for me to tie the knot I have no intention of dropping a small fortune of anybody's money on it. The food will be decent but not extravagant, decorations will be tasteful, it won't be a massive wedding, and if the reception hall can't be set up by under 10 people in an afternoon its too dang much stuff, and when we get back from the honeymoon I won't have sticker shock and keel over of a heart attack when I see the grand total!
 

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I'll let her plan like she's spending her money, THEN pick up the tab.
I probably should have added "within reason". 40K for a one day celebration and nothing to show for it but pictures is ridiculous.
 

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Past: 95 Fleetwood, 91 Brougham. Now: 92 Lexus SC300
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If daddy put her through college AND grad school, I really don't think he owes his daughter anything other than maybe three or four nights at a nice hotel for their honeymoon.

As a man at 25, I'd much rather have a simple wedding for less than 4k, and spend the money as a down payment on a house. I'd do the same if I were a father, nice, modest wedding, and a nice chunk of change for a downpayment on a house.
 

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Well... I'll have to admit - I ended up marrying one of those girls. I remember after we got engaged, my in-laws sat us down and said "Here's a check for $20-grand (equal to $29,000 today)... You can either use it for a big wedding or you can use it for a house, it's up to you." Despite my vocal, yet fruitless opposition - she opted for the wedding.

I've never let her live that down... At least today she finally admits that may have not been the best idea.
 

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2002.5 F55 CORSA STS, 2014 Explorer XLT FWD
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I'll have to admit.......my first wife was New England Italian. 1966, nice Catholic Italian wedding, nothing splashy, but elegant. All the aunts and uncles from NYC and LI were there - "Jimmy, it's nice to have youse in da family. If youse ever need anyting, jus' call Cousin Joey, here......"

At the reception dance, my new wife had a silk drawstring bag on her left wrist. Every time one of the uncles would cut in on a dance, he would slip a small envelope in the bag. The next morning, sitting on the bed in a Nantucket inn, we opened the envelopes. Over $6,000. In 1966. A LOT of money. Italians are great. Temperamental, but great.

Adam, where you been ????? PM me.
 

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crushing Vs with my Wurm
2013 GT500 - 700+ HP
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she can go **** herself....they put her thru college AND grad school and now she wants more. Give her 500 bux and tell her to elope....they owe her nothing.


F
 

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2010 DTS
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I'll have to admit.......my first wife was New England Italian. 1966, nice Catholic Italian wedding, nothing splashy, but elegant. All the aunts and uncles from NYC and LI were there - "Jimmy, it's nice to have youse in da family. If youse ever need anyting, jus' call Cousin Joey, here......"

At the reception dance, my new wife had a silk drawstring bag on her left wrist. Every time one of the uncles would cut in on a dance, he would slip a small envelope in the bag. The next morning, sitting on the bed in a Nantucket inn, we opened the envelopes. Over $6,000. In 1966. A LOT of money. Italians are great. Temperamental, but great.

Adam, where you been ????? PM me.
:worship: Thank You! :thumbsup:
 

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2002.5 F55 CORSA STS, 2014 Explorer XLT FWD
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Ranger, ..............as you probably know, I served 3 years of Submarine Staff Duty in Naples, Italy. Bella Napoli. I would not trade that experience for all the tea in China. Made, and still correspond with, friends from Naples and Calabria.

If anyone wants to meet the nicest, most benevolent people on earth, put a laid back non-guided Italian trip in your must-do list. Screw the 3 or 4 star hotel.....find a small pensione and eat on the economy. Learn a few words of colloquial Italian. You'll never regret the experience.
 

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77 CDV, 06 DTS III, 69 FWB
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IF Mom and Dad feel like forking out anything at all (God only knows why they would), they just need to sit daughter dearest down and say, "We're very happy for you and Elmer, and this $XXX is our wedding gift to you both to do with as you please." If Bridezilla pitches a hissy fit, Mom and Dad respond with the standard, "We're so sorry you're disappointed, Dear, but we simply can't afford anything more grand. We love you, Kitten."

Then Mom and Dad go out for the evening and enjoy themselves for a change. Daughter Dearest can go piss up a rope.
 

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That ^^^^ just made my night lol :highfive:
 
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