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Discussion Starter #1
ok, this is one of the things I need to work on... I am too freakin shy, and I need to be more outgoing. I have a hard time approaching girls (err... I never approach girls) and also a hard time starting conversation.... but once the conversation gets started, I have no problem talking about whatever the subject may be...

So here is an example, tonight I was doing a couple things in town, and saw a Sonic, now I havn't been to Sonic since I first went to Texas back in 1999 or so- we didn't have them in NY.

Now if you have never been to Sonic, they have these drive up things where you park, and each spot has a menu and you order, then the girls bring the food out to you on roller blades, its kinda neat.

So I ordered, there were 2 girls bringing food out to people. As I was eating it died down, then I was the only car there, so I get ready to leave, I get the garbadge put it in the back, get out of my car and walk over to the garbadge can to throw it away.

Sitting at the table next to the garbadge can is one of the roller blade girls, the really cute one. She is sitting with an older guy talking, looked to be some kind of a break, I dunno if it was her manager, father, friend or whatever... he wasn't our age though.

So I throw my bag out, and I glance at her, then she says loudly "Hey, how are ya doin' tonight?" since I am the only one there, she was talking to me, so I say "Not too bad, you?" and she replies with "I'm doing great, thanks!" so I kinda stand there for a second...... turn around and walk back to my car.

First, it felt weird to just turn around like that, because it seemed like maybe she was trying to start a conversation and then I gave the image that I wasn't interested?

Or maybe she is just really friendly and says Hi to everyone and thats all?

But as I drove off, I coudln't help but keep thinking what I did "wrong" I mean, it was the perfect opertunity to talk, but I just left, but then I was thiking about the older guy there, if it was her father or not, and that would just be akward to go over and start talking to her while that guy is there.... and I dunno...

So if this was you, and you got up to throw something away and a girl justs ask how you are doing out of the blue, what would your reply be? and should I have tried to get a conversation going? it wasn't like I had to be anywhere or anything....

I mean, I dunno... this is where I overanalyze wayy too much so I am thinking either she is just friendly, or something about me appealed to her, enough to say hi and ask how I am doing, because that alone is more then I would have done if it was the other way around.

Gosh, it sucks to be the shy guy..... ugh... I gotta change this but its hard.
 

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You did nothing wrong!! I think you handled it well, and after all, SHE initiated the convo.:) You seemed to play it cool.

Now if you're interested, go there every once in a while so that she gets "familiar" with you, and eventually ask her out for coffee or something???

How much older did the guy look????
 

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I feel your pain man, it's quite hard for me to start conversations w/ women i dont know. In your situation, I would have started a conversation with her, but since you didn't, dont worry about it, just go back in there sometime when its not busy, and approach her this time.
 

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So I didn't do anything wrong?

It just felt so wierd... after I replied, I just kinda froze for a second... turned around and left.... it felt as though I was showing I wasn't interested and didn't want to talk anymore... or atleast thats how I saw it....

lol, if I go back... I don't even remember what she looks like! gosh, its bad I know... but I first saw her when she bought the food to the Couger that was next to me... and by "saw her" I mean I saw her cute butt :)

Otherwise I don't remember her *that much* I mean, if there is a host of cute girls working there, I doubt I could pick her out.... maybe I'll go back and see if shes there? what if I see her, do I say something or wait for her etc...?

Since there is no dinning in at Sonic, you either sit at the tables outside, or sit in your car... so should I just go pull up and order a Coke and fries or something from my car?

The guy looked to be 30's.... maybe even 40's.... defintily some sort of manager/father or something and not a b/f or anything....

plus she stopped their conversation (if they were even in one) to talk to me, so I dunno.

I mean, lets say I do see her again... what would I even say? but this is all realitive, because the chance of me actually seeing her, I think is slim...

aren't the times/days young people work at the fast food joints always changing? maybe that was her dad and he was picking her up from work, but they talked and had a soda before they left? I dunno... it was around.... oh gosh... 8:30PM? I think... should I go back around that time in a couple days or what?
 

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YOU IDIOT!!!


Just kidding. LOL :histeric:

That happens a lot to me too. You see a pritty girl, she says hi, then your mind goes totally blank........ like your pulse......... lol.... Forget about that experience because it will haulter your future experiences with her.

I'm trying to get over that shyness factor too. I find that it's easier to start a conversation with simple things. Like, "that was some good food." or something like "it's cold out tonight." You know, something like that. I agree with Ralph though, you should keep coming back. Read her nametag. Make yourself a presence, someone she will start to remember. Not just a nameless face out on the street that she will never see again.

Good luck. :cool:
 

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hell yeah go back! Even if you dont remember her, if she talks to you when she sees you again you'll know shes interested. Go at the same time a few days....if she askes why you come here so much, tell her what you told us about no sonics in NY and BAM your talking! Damn iam good when it comes to other people...if only i could use my powers to help me! And damn i miss sonic, cant wait to pull up in the charger with the hemi roarin...
 

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Night Wolf said:
So I didn't do anything wrong?
It just felt so wierd... after I replied, I just kinda froze for a second... turned around and left.... it felt as though I was showing I wasn't interested and didn't want to talk anymore... or atleast thats how I saw it....
lol, if I go back... I don't even remember what she looks like! gosh, its bad I know... but I first saw her when she bought the food to the Couger that was next to me... and by "saw her" I mean I saw her cute butt :)
Otherwise I don't remember her *that much* I mean, if there is a host of cute girls working there, I doubt I could pick her out.... maybe I'll go back and see if shes there? what if I see her, do I say something or wait for her etc...?
Since there is no dinning in at Sonic, you either sit at the tables outside, or sit in your car... so should I just go pull up and order a Coke and fries or something from my car?
The guy looked to be 30's.... maybe even 40's.... defintily some sort of manager/father or something and not a b/f or anything....
plus she stopped their conversation (if they were even in one) to talk to me, so I dunno.
I mean, lets say I do see her again... what would I even say? but this is all realitive, because the chance of me actually seeing her, I think is slim...
aren't the times/days young people work at the fast food joints always changing? maybe that was her dad and he was picking her up from work, but they talked and had a soda before they left? I dunno... it was around.... oh gosh... 8:30PM? I think... should I go back around that time in a couple days or what?
It COULD have been her dad, but I'm 38 and I have "friends" who are in their early 20's.:shhh: I don't know what happened to all the "girls" my age.....guess they are all married or something...:bigroll:

Nope, you didn't do anything wrong IMO, and I think she just caught you off-guard because you were a bit stunned. Stunned by how cute she was and that SHE initiated the convo, which is kind of refreshing after all. (geez, we were just talking about this in the "Ralph?" thread tonite!)

It's been hard for me after my fiance and I broke up just over a year ago, but fortunately I look foreward to an encounter like you had today Rick..and I've had a couple since....I would definately go back, hang out with a buddy and see if you can recognize her there, etc. She will likely (hopefully) be foreward again and talk to you first so that you will remember which one she was, LOL.:)

I've come to a point where I just don't care anymore what really happens though, but don't dwell on the negative or beat yourself up over what does or doesn't happen...

For now I would just hang out there some more, allow her to get to know you, and keep us posted and we can hopefully give you some decent advice...

give it a couple days......geez, I'm due to go back to the Caddy dealership......;)
 

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Night Wolf said:
I mean, lets say I do see her again... what would I even say?
"Hey baby, ever seen the backseat of a Cadillac deVille?"

hahahaha j/k dont say that

Rick, she might have started to talk to you because she saw you roll up in a Cadillac, and what women cant reisist a man in a Cadillac?:cool2:

I honestly would go back in there again when its not busy, eat in your car, and if you see her again, smile at her and see what happens. If she starts a conversation again, just roll with it, and dont be too forward, just be real casual like "hey hows it going" or "hey that food was really good" something like that.
Good luck man! I'm sure ya can do it!:cool:
 

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I'd have to agree with the others and tell you that you should go back every so often enough so that you two get a little familiar with each other. Say 'hi' every now and then whenever you catch her eye. She may be bored with her job and talking to anyone may be a release for her.

If nothing happens, at least you got to see a cutie again.

If something happens, then on to the next step....
 

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A pleasant smile, genuine enthusiasm, and a true display of manners works wonders. Of course, a little humor never hurts either. Problem is, women have that little trick that ties a man's vocal cords into a double knot :cool: Good luck bud, you'll do great!
 

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i dunno i have pretty good luck at sonic there wolf.....got to thinkin bout it , we have one up the street , there 2 girls there that know me and the car (were boath pretty unsusual)...then the other knows me for the change ....i ahte getting change back from there so i tell em to keep it .....so she knows me too .....

but i relly didnt want to pick up girls from there , there too young for me ...i just like there chilidogs and chili cheese atater tots , if only the food liked me back .....but it always seems to be in a hurry to leave ....
 

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hahaha...

"The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show and see if she likes the goods"

"I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you"

"I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal,People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."

these are all things NOT to say
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Yeah, so I'll go back there again... I dunno either tomorrow or Wednesday, what I'll do is park my car right there, but instead of eating in the car, I'll go and sit at the table and order a soda and fries or something....

I still have (and will countine to keep) the NY plates on my car... help seperate my Caddy from all the others :) Although I took the front plate/bracket off because it looks alot better, but now you don't know I'm from NY from the front, only the back.

eh, I guess in the world of things, it isn't that big of a deal... I have been known to think something is more then it seems. I guess its just yet another wake up call that I need to be more outgoing when it comes to talking to girls.
 

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Night Wolf said:
So if this was you, and you got up to throw something away and a girl justs ask how you are doing out of the blue, what would your reply be? and should I have tried to get a conversation going? it wasn't like I had to be anywhere or anything....
My reply: "Ok."

Hahaha! Well dude sorry but from what you've said this seems to be my observation. I'm not really sure if she was "trying to talk to you" more than she was keeping the friendly employee/customer relationship. I work in a restraunt and I'll ask how someone's doing if I happen to accidentally lock eyes with them but **** if I really care.... To be honest you didn't do anything wrong, except EAT IN YOUR CAR!!!! WHAT IF YOU SPILLED SOMETHING?!! RUINED CARPET AND LEATHER!!!! LOL!

Anyway... I've found all my success I have with my metal mistress has come from me not thinking and just saying/doing whatever. If you're around a girl who looks approachable, just start talking about anything, forget she's a girl at first and just think of her as someone. What's the worst that happens? If she blows you off than screw her, she's not worth your time. If she's gonna be a bitch then let her go rot and die somewhere. I've found the key here is self confidence. If you walk over there with your face all hidden with 600,000 different thoughts in your head you'll look bad. If I'm around my mistress and I'm thinking, I'll studder, trip, crack bad jokes, etc. The second I just clear my head I'm totaly cool. In summary, think less, act more. Show that girl who's number one, YOU!
 

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Dope... what you say is very true.... but for me atleast, harder said then done... though I will be working on it now :)

Eating in the car.... heh... it used to be (still is) a rule that nobody else can eat in my car, drinks are ok, and when friends are with me, I don't eat int he car either... but really, I just can't keep making that big of a deal.. arm rest is cracked, leather is worn etc... how much can ya worry? hell I eat in the '79 also... it's a car damnit and I am gonna use it :)

Really I used to be so anal with the '93 Coupe, mostly with the paint problem it has, my mind set is, eh, it's gonna happen anyway, why make a big deal about it? ya know?
 

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you definately need to adopt a "who give a ****" kinda atititude with this stuff dude .....

i play like i care round here with Amy and them ....but out there (points at the dealership and college)...i just dont care ....so what if there toally grossed out or put off by you ....**** em ....

Just the other day . you shoulda been there to take notes ....

Theres girl standing outside a classroom at the college , i noticed her as i went out for soem air....so there she is still standing there as i come back ...and she looks absolutely perfect , in every dimention , even her hair is just something .....

I walked right up to her ....and said
"you get put on time out sweetie?"
wanna know what she did ?
she giggled !

Bout this time my insturctor , who is a old lady , and pretty much a freind of mine walks up , and asks "what do you think your doing michael"...

right infront of this BEAUTIFUL girl i told my instructor

"I just asked her if she was on time out ,shes standing there all alone, im behaveing.... honest.....i wasnt going to hit on her just becuse shes drop dead gorugues"

i honestly have no clue what the girl thought , nor did i look to check her reaction ...i only heard another giggle.....becuse i really didnt care what the girl thought.....worst case "that ugly guy likes me" or best case "no one has told me im beautiful lately" and now she has ammo on her low life boyfreind ...

i do this all the time ......and i have the worst confidence in myself ....
 

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Night Wolf said:
Yeah, so I'll go back there again... I dunno either tomorrow or Wednesday, what I'll do is park my car right there, but instead of eating in the car, I'll go and sit at the table and order a soda and fries or something....
I still have (and will countine to keep) the NY plates on my car... help seperate my Caddy from all the others :) Although I took the front plate/bracket off because it looks alot better, but now you don't know I'm from NY from the front, only the back.
eh, I guess in the world of things, it isn't that big of a deal... I have been known to think something is more then it seems. I guess its just yet another wake up call that I need to be more outgoing when it comes to talking to girls.
Yes, keep those NY plates on the car bro! That would be one Hell of a starting point for a good conversation should she see them...Perhaps you can do something to make them more noticeable?

Now once a conversation is initiated, don't just throw everything out on the table that first time and ask her out. Give it couple of times so that you can get a feel for what is going on. Get a feel for if she's seing anyone, that sort of stuff.

Now once you're in her good graces and there appears to be no guy in the way, make a move if it feels right. Should things work out right, go for a nice casual evening out to get a further feel for things before doing anything too fancy...It might jsut work out!
 

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Night Wolf said:
plus she stopped their conversation (if they were even in one) to talk to me, so I dunno.

I mean, lets say I do see her again... what would I even say?
Another thought.....she might have been in an ackward conversation with the older dude, and wanted a scapegoat? Maybe the guy was hitting on her as she was taking a break, and she wanted out?

Also, next time you see her, and if appropriate, you could ask her so "who was that guy you were talking to?" If the opportunity comes up. But it might come off as too foreward depending on her personality, but it sounds like she might appreciate the interest in her...

Today at a restaurant I asked a cute waitress how she got her hair to look a certain way, and I told her how good it looked.......then after that I got a nice smile everytime she walked by me......I'll be back there, LOL.
 

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illumina said:
Yes, keep those NY plates on the car bro! That would be one Hell of a starting point for a good conversation should she see them...Perhaps you can do something to make them more noticeable?
Now once a conversation is initiated, don't just throw everything out on the table that first time and ask her out. Give it couple of times so that you can get a feel for what is going on. Get a feel for if she's seing anyone, that sort of stuff.
Now once you're in her good graces and there appears to be no guy in the way, make a move if it feels right. Should things work out right, go for a nice casual evening out to get a further feel for things before doing anything too fancy...It might jsut work out!
yeah, I love my NY plates... and it is a great conversation piece. Make them more noticeable? damnit! now i am thinking about putting my front plate and bracket back on... I took them off because the bumper looks so cool, but I did like the New York plate on the front, and people would always ask me about it.... ugh.... do I want my car to look better or do I want a conversation piece?!?

When you say "give it a couple times" do you mean go back a few times and talk to her, or wait for awhile in the conversation?

How would I ask a girl if she has a b/f? I never really did that... should I just be like, are you seeing anyone?

Also, now that I moved to a larger city, there are many things to do.... BEACH! I love the beach, and one of the piers is absolutly beautiful (Pier 60, if familer with the area) to go all the way out you gotta pay 50cents/person, but its dead quiet and really nice... that would be a nice place to take a girl... well, maybe Starbucks or something at first, she make not like being alone on a first date or something.

Mike.... I know what you mean, and when I am around some people, espeically one of my old friends from HS... he is the most outgoing person you'd ever see.... he would go up to ANY girl and just start talking... he was always trying to help me out too :) I guess I just gotta stop worrying about what other people will think about me.

Ah, damnit, now I am gonna put my front plate back on tomorrow! I can always take it back off... hell, maybe I'll get once of those nice chrome frames to make it look better, so I won't feel so bad.

Also, I think another thing is how I feel about myself personally. I am overweight and don't give myself the credit I deserve, I dunno so I always have this feeling in myself that I am not good enough etc... Although my build type is husky, so if I start working out and get more active like I want to do, build up my muscles etc... maybe I'll start to have more self confidence and such.
 
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