Shifting smoothly, without a jerk

Maybe I am just paranoid but, a long time ago I had a 99 Accord, when the tranny went out I have been paranoid about how I drive and shift.

I always set my parking brake in neutral before shifting to park.
When in reverse, I stop, shift to neutral, then shift to drive.

My last car was an Acura TL. Never had a problem with the tranny past 100k. Always followed those rules, it never vibrated or anything. Same with my ATS.

On my XTS however here is what I observed

When I go from park to Drive - smooth
When I go from Reverse (from reversing the car) to Drive - Intermittently smooth, or you will hear/feel the Clunk
When I go from Reverse (from reversing the car) to Neutral to Drive, done this with a 1-5 second wait in Neutral - Intermittently smooth, or you will hear/feel the Clunk

In all cases the car is at a full and complete stop.

I did notice when the car is cold and its rev is high after the first start it tends to shift fine no clunk, or light clunk.


What is a solution for this, is that clunk going to cause the car to get that shake. Right now I can't tell the car is on, or off thats how smooth it is. I would never want to change that for the world!

What is the best way to shift to drive from reverse to avoid that clunk?