Reset ECU?

alright, i've been having this slightly strange occurence happening since i bought my car and have "dealt" with it, but i'd like to know if it's normal...

start car, engine cold: when accelerating the car shifts through the gears like normal, very smooth.

once warm: when accelerating (normal start, moderate start) the car seems to drop from 2nd gear to 4th gear and skips 3rd gear. the drop in rpm's is pretty significant. when i go to step on the gas it kinda lags, then realizes it's in 4th and downshifts to 3rd, then almost downshifts to 2nd to cover the acceleration demand. very strange, it's like it doesn't know where it needs to be. when doing a quick acceleration it winds through gears just fine. does ANYONE else think this is kinda weird or is this just the way it shifts? i wish i could drive another 3.2 and see how it compairs.

mentioned it to the dealer twice on visits, said everything was fine. someone once mentioned "resetting" the ECU and letting it re-learn itself. the dealer wants to charge me like 40 or 50 to do that....should i get it done? it's annoying as hell. should they charge me for that or are they trying to make a buck?

please, somebody who actually has an opinion help me out here.