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1995 ETC, 75 Deville, Cad500 powered 73 Apollo, 94 Mark VIII
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Seems like a way to get cat hair somewhere it shouldn't be.

On a different note, since it's a different day in my time zone at least:

"Beer before liquor, never been sicker."
I swear I'm getting that as a tattoo someday.
 

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1994 Sedan Deville
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2,146 Posts
Never put off until tomorrow who you can do today!!:lildevil:
 

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Super Moderator
2018 GMC Sierra, 1995 Jeep Wrangler
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12,114 Posts
Sooo you were pleasuring "the kitty" with a vibrating device? :eyebrow: :canttalk:
 

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1989 Sedan DeVille is now just a fond memory ....
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10,429 Posts
"It's OK to talk to yourself, it's OK to answer yourself. It's when you loose arguments with yourself that you are in trouble...." :p
:cool2:

:duck:
 

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'05 Expedition
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7,651 Posts
The beer/liquor thing has been proven to be a myth.

Never mix them, and you'll be safe. Better yet, don't drink so much of anything that you're going to make yourself sick.
 

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None now...1972 Challenger=my pride and joy.
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5,702 Posts
"Never pet a burning dog." Always been one of my favourite...

Booze is good, booze is grand, drink it all and ... yea, tried to be creative...that mixing them thing is crap too...alcohol is alcohol...its all the same...
 

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Banned
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1,483 Posts
My bumper sticker will say
"My child sold your HONOR STUDENT the answers to the test!" or
"Ted Kennedy's Car has Killed More People than my Gun" or
"Work Harder Millions On Welfare Depend On You!";)
 

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2000 Black DeVille & 1994 Concours
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963 Posts
I remember busting this lyric
on the Esteemed Sir Elvis on
his B-Day:

The bird of love is the dove;
but,
the bird of true love is
the swallow :devil: :eyebrow:

TomDeville
:cool2:
 

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1996 Fleetwood
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2,536 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
"My burning genitals are no laughing matter!" (A friend of mine online, she was having a reaction to a new condom brand)

"The drawback to salad day at school, is I got home and wanted to lick myself." (Me after school, smelled like Vinagrette dressing, really did want to lick myself.)
 

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1995 FTS
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4,577 Posts
Me and my friend drunk at a friends party.

Me: You ever notice when your so drunk its makes you paralized
Friend: Yeah its kinda weird as to why it does that
Me: I know but its good to know that were not to that point yet
Friend: I wouldn't mind getting that drunk
Me: Yeah. I feel kinda good right now *stands up then falls into a coffee table and breaks it*
Friend: LOL
Me: What were we talking about?
Friend: I dunno
 

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Banned
1995 ETC, 75 Deville, Cad500 powered 73 Apollo, 94 Mark VIII
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7,971 Posts
Elvis said:
The beer/liquor thing has been proven to be a myth.

Never mix them, and you'll be safe. Better yet, don't drink so much of anything that you're going to make yourself sick.
It's more of a mental association now more than anything. :suspense:

Anyway I've got another good alcohol related one:

Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

-Cliff Clavin (Cheers)
 

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None now...1972 Challenger=my pride and joy.
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5,702 Posts
davesdeville said:
It's more of a mental association now more than anything. :suspense:

Anyway I've got another good alcohol related one:

Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

-Cliff Clavin (Cheers)
I always attribute this one to Homer Simpson...knowing full well that cliffy said it first, but I heard it first from Homer...when my phone starts up, its says "Mmmmm, Buffalo", as homer says that after telling the story of the healthy buffalo.
 

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1989 Fleetwood Brougham d'Elegance|2018 Chevy Colorado Z71
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6,421 Posts
Haha I got a good one. Me trying to help my friend break up with his girlfriend.

DopeStar 156: I've got a buncha solutions for you but about 90% of them involve poop.
deathassassin85: go figure
 
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