Cadillac Owners Forum banner

1 - 20 of 35 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
746 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
"Young woman," said the judge, "this court is going to see to it that you receive one thousand dollars a month in alimony.
"Thanks," the husband spoke up, "and I'll try to give her a few bucks myself."(


Now, that looks like a happily married couple." Remarks the husband.
"Don't be too sure, my Dear. They are probable saying the same thing about us." Replied his wife
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
746 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
willsctsv said:
Proper grammar and spell check would help your joke. No offense, but stick to building cars!

ok ok ok. damn. but i just copy and paste so dont shoot me to much. ok back to the dyno:crying2:
 

·
crushing Vs with my Wurm
Joined
·
12,266 Posts
So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his zipper, the bartender immediately notices and says "sir, did you know that there is a steering wheel attached to your fly?" The pirate says, "Aaarrrrggggh, its drivin me nuts!!!!"


F
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,007 Posts
Bigamy (n.): Having one wife too many.

Monogamy (n.): Having one wife too many.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,061 Posts
Florian, I actually thought yours was a little funny.

I think the problem with Moores first joke is that people did not realize that there are 2 seperate jokes there and they are both pretty bad and it made them worse when you though it was all 1 joke.:D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
325 Posts
This guy is driving down the freeway when his wife calls to warn him that their is a crazy guy on the news driving the wrong way on the highway.

He responds back to his wife, "It's much worse than what they are saying on the news, everyone is driving the wrong way." :histeric:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
226 Posts
There's 2 men one on each side of the world. One is gettin a blowjob from an 85 yr. old woman, and the other is walkin a tight rope in b/w 2 sky scrapers. What are they both thinkin?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,007 Posts
It can't be long before Sal comes in to kick us out of the locker room...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,146 Posts
Why I fired my secretary

I woke up early feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought, "I'm another year older," but decided not to dwell on it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a big kiss and say, "Happy birthday, dear." All smiles, I went into breakfast, and there sat my wife reading the newspaper as usual. She didn't say a word. So I got myself a cup of coffee and thought, "Oh well, she forgot. The kids will be down in a few minutes, they will sing 'Happy Birthday' and have a nice gift for me." There I sat, enjoying my coffee, and I waited. Finally the kids came running into the kitchen yelling, "Give me a slice of toast! I'm late! Where is my coat? I'm going to miss my bus!" Feeling more depressed than ever, I left for the office. When I walked in, my secretary greeted mew with a big smile and a cheerful. "Happy Birthday, boss," She then asked if she could get me some coffee. Her remembering my birthday made me feel a whole lot better. Later in the morning, my secretary knocked on my office door and said, "Since it's your birthday, why don't we have lunch together?" Thinking it would make me feel better, I said, "That's a good idea." So we locked up the office, and since it was my birthday, I said, "Why don't we drive out of town and have lunch in the country, instead of going to the usual place?" So we drove out of town and went to a little out-of-the-way inn and had a couple of martinis and a nice lunch. We started driving back to town when my secretary said, "Why don't we go by my place, and I will fix you another martini?" It sounded like a good idea, since we didn't have much to do at the office. So we went to her apartment, and she fixed some martinis. After a while, she said, "If you will excuse me, I think I will slip into something more comfortable," and she left the room. In a few minutes, she opened her bedroom door and came out carrying a big birthday cake. Following her were my wife and all my kids, and there I sat with nothing on but my socks.
 
1 - 20 of 35 Posts
Top