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01 frontier , 89 Shelby CSX vnt
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Discussion Starter #1
So there i am at work today ....Van driver says "vans broke youll need something to take customers home in tomorrow". Ok , so i go over to used car and ask for a car to use tomorrow. Guy says "ill mark this one in and you can take it". Easy enough right? So he grabs the keys and walks me out the the car. Funny looking thing , looks like a ...no it has to be the top.....no....no it cant be .....I look att he guy and say "your jokeing right?" he says "no". I look at the car and say "you know i have ot take customers home in this thing right?" He says "yup". I look right at him and say "GM would have a fit". He asks "why". Point blank i say "Its a MERCURY GRAND MARQUIS". He says "itll be fine", i jokingly say "till the bastard leaves me stranded". Im stuck with it , so i get in it , puke green with dark green top ,green interior 2004 model. UGLY friggin car , i mean UGLY ...

I take it back to my manager , i park it right in the middle of my service drive and with customers present i introduce my boss to the "New Courtesy Transportation for Cadillac". One customer is confused , 2 others are excited thinking its some new model for cadillac. My boss is silent. I had to exlplin that i wasnt jokeing and that is what i was given. All he says is "But....Its a FORD".

He says "do whatca gotta do , get rid of it"....So i tookit to saturn , one of the overzealous salesmen walks out and asks "how can i help you sir , this is avery nice car you have". I looked at him and said "i hate it , ive only had it for 15 minutes and i HATE it". "Whyd you buy it he says" , i just said "they took advantge of me".

So i ask "what do you have in a VAN", he shows me the new realys , i name the options i want he says "we got one". I say "ok i want a stright up trade" he wants to talk to his manager , so i walk over with him , his manager knows me and starts laughing his ass off when he sees me screwing with the new guy. His manager gets me keys to the van and i take the Merc back to used ....

There is something about takeing Cadillac Owners home in a Junoir Coffin Badged as a merc built by ford that bugs me ....

Hate fords .....:mad2:
 

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You aren't the only one. Their new badge-engineering is even worse. They now have a vehicle that stretches across ALL of the brands (including LINCOLN!)

The ford fusion/mercury montego/lincoln zyphr.

And the thing is, the cars are EXACTLY the same minus some exterior badging.
And to top it off, they're all bad rip offs of the Mazda6, with American engineering so they've becomed dumbed down, bland versions of a truly great car...It's a shame really. I'm glad GM stopped that finally, the GM minivan was getting out of hand. At least they're trying to make it better now and they've dropped it from Pontiac's lineup...
 

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01 frontier , 89 Shelby CSX vnt
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Discussion Starter #5
I saw an 06 Montana today .....there worse than ever as far as all brands

its now
Buick
Pontiac
Chevrolet
Saturn

and there talk of a GMC version to replace the Safari they lost this year
 

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Stoneage_Caddy said:
I saw an 06 Montana today .....there worse than ever as far as all brands
its now
Buick
Pontiac
Chevrolet
Saturn
and there talk of a GMC version to replace the Safari they lost this year
They need to come out with a retro-70s van! With optional painting of either a hot chick holding a ray gun, or a female barbarian whipping a sasquatch monster with a riding crop!

Actually, a retro-70s van is pretty good idea! Right? The good ideas just keep comin' here ... GM needs to do it now!
 

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1989 Sedan DeVille is now just a fond memory ....
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Stoneage_Caddy said:
hell yah , 06 Chevy Express rear all jacked up , the little heart window ,mag wheels .....yeeeah babay
Don't forget the daisies on the sides! :p
 

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Stoneage_Caddy said:
hell yah , 06 Chevy Express rear all jacked up , the little heart window ,mag wheels .....yeeeah babay
Don't forget the water bed in the back, the crushed velvet captain's chairs, and the shag carpet! (Red sex lamps optional).

I need to go find my K-Tel 8-track collection! Hey man, I just had another groovy idea: they could include an 8-track player as optional! Sweeeet!
 

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01 frontier , 89 Shelby CSX vnt
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Discussion Starter #10
Ralph said:
(Red sex lamps optional).
OPTIONAL????????

hell no , thats mandatory , vannin and sex is like ....the same thing .....vannin without the sex lights or sex frednly feature is like ...is like .....baseball with no balls , apple pie with apples ....like cadillacs without hood ornaments .....scratch that last one , they done that already
 

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Ralph said:
Don't forget the water bed in the back, the crushed velvet captain's chairs, and the shag carpet! (Red sex lamps optional).

I need to go find my K-Tel 8-track collection! Hey man, I just had another groovy idea: they could include an 8-track player as optional! Sweeeet!
You are a seriously demented man Ralph! :histeric:
 

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Stoneage_Caddy said:
I saw an 06 Montana today .....there worse than ever as far as all brands
its now
Buick
Pontiac
Chevrolet
Saturn
and there talk of a GMC version to replace the Safari they lost this year
You forgot Oldsmobile :)

BTW my grand father has a 2003 Grand Marquis, baby blue (AKA Grandpa blue) with a really nice shale leather interior, with the fancy allow wheels.

I really like that car, it rides sooooo nice, far better then the '93 Coupe... then again I never did like a unibody cars ride.

I personally like Ford... mostly their trucks, but the Crown Vic/GM and Town Car have always been really nice.

Anyway.... I take it you are still at the dealership? I thought you were gonna stick it to the man the other day?
 

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01 frontier , 89 Shelby CSX vnt
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Discussion Starter #13
(Dude in a old duster rolls up to a light next to the retro Chevy Express)

Duster boy: "Dude that thing got a 8 track in it ?"
Van man: "Yup"
Duster Boy : "Sweeeeeet"
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Night Wolf said:
You forgot Oldsmobile :)
BTW my grand father has a 2003 Grand Marquis, baby blue (AKA Grandpa blue) with a really nice shale leather interior, with the fancy allow wheels.
I really like that car, it rides sooooo nice, far better then the '93 Coupe... then again I never did like a unibody cars ride.
I personally like Ford... mostly their trucks, but the Crown Vic/GM and Town Car have always been really nice.
Anyway.... I take it you are still at the dealership? I thought you were gonna stick it to the man the other day?
im SOOOOOOOOOOO close ....were like any minute kinda deal right now , only reason im there tomorrow is so the van driver can finnaly get a day off ......otherwise after not getting the profit shareing once again and not getting a raise im pretty damned fed up
 

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Aquire the target Mike! ;)
 

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Stoneage_Caddy said:
im SOOOOOOOOOOO close ....were like any minute kinda deal right now , only reason im there tomorrow is so the van driver can finnaly get a day off ......otherwise after not getting the profit shareing once again and not getting a raise im pretty damned fed up
Heh... so you get to drive people home? do you need a CDL or no?

being the van driver sounds easy though... I think that would be cool.

They use Chevy Express work vans instead of the Venture-type family vans?
 

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Stoneage_Caddy said:
(Dude in a old duster rolls up to a light next to the retro Chevy Express)
Duster boy: "Dude that thing got a 8 track in it ?"
Van man: "Yup"
Duster Boy : "Sweeeeeet"
(Dude in a green Grand Marquis rolls up to a light next to the 2007 Rallye van)
Marquis Driver: "Dude, that thing got any chicks in the back?"
Van man: "Yup! Cheerleaders! On the water bed."
Marquis Driver: "Sweeeeet."
 

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1995 ETC, 75 Deville, Cad500 powered 73 Apollo, 94 Mark VIII
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A Grand Marquis was on my top 5 or top 10 list of cars I'd buy when I was looking for one at about this time last year. They're pretty nice and ride great. I already had the 75 though and no other car can compare to its ride so I went with a 2 door.
 
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