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Discussion Starter #1


~sighs~ The girlfriend is upset that I made out with another girl last night. Now, obviously this sounds pretty bad. But, you have to realize that we have been together for a year and a half, and at this point, she _IS_ the only person I want to be with. However, she keeps telling me that I need to date others, and see other people so that her and I will know we are right for each other in the future. She is 12 years older then me, and she doesn't want us to stick together for 5 years, then split, and her be left alone and having to start all over at that age.

So...I do what she wants. Now she says that isn't what she meant. So, trying to get her to just hear me out when I say what I did was due to her telling me to, and not just because I wanted to.

We are chatting a little bit about it now, basically I told her to just tell me she wants me to be hers, and hers only, and it will be done, and be just hers.

If I ever get it straight with her, I want to stay with her. If it is over...we will go from there...bleh...just wanted to...vent...thanks.

 

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This is cadillacforums.com, not reverendswomenproblems.com

:D

Just kidding, we are here to help :rolleyes:
 

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Women...go figure! They want one thing...next day something different...wait til ya get married...wooooohoooooo!!!!! Only gets better... :D
I dont believe you need to see other people to find out if you two are right for each other..that's not too cool with me. Sounds like something somebody would say to cop out of a situation or something. If you are "both" truly in love...than that is all it should take to be together!:)
 

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I agree with JerseyGirl. My wife and I will celebrate our 25th next year and I can tell you that I've never ( ok almost never) doubted that we were MEANT to be. We were highschool sweethearts and we've been together ever since. We constantly call each other at the same time out of the blue. We constantly finish each others sentences. You know the story. The difference is this is REALLY the truth. We are opposite in many ways, even more so when we first started going out. I think that's probably why NOBODY thought we would last. But instead of growing apart as so many do, we've grown together.
If you feel you NEED to see other people, and you're not still a kid, you've got serious issues and/or the two of you are NOT right for each other. After over 30 years together (dating and marriage), she's still my BEST freind and I still get excited everytime I see her.
Believe me, the REAL thing IS out there, don't give up until you find it.
 

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I think the idea was that you might see another and realize that you really wanted to be w/the girlfriend. Not that you would make out with someone else.
Sometimes people dont say what they really mean and its up to the other to "listen between the lines."
Boy oh boy am I glad its you, not me.
 

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Katshot said:
I agree with JerseyGirl. My wife and I will celebrate our 25th next year .
WOW! That is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: And you still get excited when you see her? That is true love my friends, unconditional & amazing! ;)
 

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i think iam gona cry kat, that was beautifull. no really thats great to hear, i hope me and my girl are like that. i find that if a woman tells you somthing that has anything to do with doing anything with another girl, dont do what you would do, do what she would do. even more so when its about seeing someone else. it should be like instinct "hunny i think we should see other people to see if you really wana be with me" you shuld say without thinking "oh no baby i couldnt do that, i only want you. hehe, i feel wise beond my years.
 

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If you've been together for a year and a half, and you know she's the only one you want to be with, why aren't you married? The answer (whatever it is) will set you free.

Commit or bail. If you can't decide today, get serious in your head about the decision, because whether you like it or not, a decision is imminent.

.Jinx
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Thanks guys. Wasn't really needing advice...just wanted a chance to vent. She has invited me over tomorrow night, so I guess that is a pretty good sign. It was an invite for the night, not to just come over and talk. I guess only time will tell...I do want to commit, now I just have to see if she wants to as well.

Thanks again everyone ( =
 

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Jinx said:
If you've been together for a year and a half, and you know she's the only one you want to be with, why aren't you married? The answer (whatever it is) will set you free.

Commit or bail. If you can't decide today, get serious in your head about the decision, because whether you like it or not, a decision is imminent.
Amen, brutha man. My wife and I started dating in August of 01 and got engaged in February of 02. We said we'd wait until May of 03 to wed. Talked about it -- what's the point, we're so right for each other, why delay what we both really want anyway? So we wed in Sept of 02. (9/28). Both of our parents knew there was no way we'd wait until May/03 to marry! :)

Point is, yeah, you'll have to make a decision about her sooner or later. And just because you marry or commit to someone, that doesn't lock in good times forever. There will probably be times where you differ passionately about a few things. But the beauty of marriage is that you both have the love and commitment for/to each other that you'll come through it together! "Until we are parted by death" is not a passing phrase you say at the alter -- it's the basis for the whole relationship.

Sorry, I know you weren't looking for advice, but I just had to spout it out anyway. :) :banana:
 

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I met mine in November '01..........Married, March '03...

Bad Boys, Bad boys, What'cha gonna do?........Go for it!
 

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Sure they can! They just gotta dry their feet after......
 

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Discussion Starter #17
All is resolved. We are now a couple. She has invited me to go to a family birthday party this weekend...been "with" her a year and a half and only meet 2 people in her family, and barely at that.

Marriage? No way, no how. I am 21, I am not going to be that guy that gets married right away. If things _ARE_ meant to be, then they will be. We will take things at our own pace, and see where we end up.
 

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Revrend said:
Marriage? No way, no how. I am 21, I am not going to be that guy that gets married right away. If things _ARE_ meant to be, then they will be. We will take things at our own pace, and see where we end up.
When you know it, you know it, and you'll BOTH know it. If you don't know it yet, then don't do it yet. I'm only 23, was 22 when we got engaged (my bride is almost exactly 1 year older). We both knew we were right for each other...right from the start. You know how your parents always tell you, "when you know, you'll know"? I never understood it until I met my wife. We just...knew.

I thought you said you were ready to commit though?
 

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Discussion Starter #19
I am ready to commit to her, but not marriage commit. 1) my friends would kill me 2)she would kill me 3) I would kill me. I have plenty of time to make everything happy, and if we are meant to be married, then dating for a few years, then living together, will only make us stronger.
 

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Nobody knows jack schitt before they turn 30. These days, if a marriage before age 25 works out, it's pure, dumb, blind luck. People usually get married for the wrong reasons, and divorce is so common today it's an easy way out when things get tough.

Commitment is for life. Don't casually define it two different ways as if there are different levels of it. You either are or you're not.
 
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