Great stuff! I laughed so hard remembering the school of hard knocks I've been though.
2 Points:
Keep your hands OFF the radiator cap until the engine is cold or you'll learn what doctors call debriding....

Alway disconnect the Negative terminal on the battery first. Especially when your mechanic partner is in front of a airbag inside the car. He/she can learn how fast the trip from the front to the back seat can be otherwise.....

I still don't trust cheap jack stands. Even on the flat concrete at the shop I've seen cars roll. Remember who's going to be under a car when buying jack stands and always keep a jack under it as well.....
Seriously be safe.