I think we need to reinstate survival of the fittest. Close down the hospitals for a few years and make mandatory pitfights a part of every day life. Let the population get back into balance.
Nothing really
requires an ER visit. I never go to the hospital. One time, a few months ago I did, but I had no say in it and was ferried away there by a "concerned" associate, because apparently, a little blood loss from a slit wrist is concerning to some people.
The doctors basically put glue on it, made me promise I would not to any work that risked exposing it to water, heat, cold or any type of movement for at least five days (Which I agreed to and broke every single part of, starting five minutes later when I drove home) and even better, I guess due to stupid kids these days , they have to survey your wrists for other scars and inquire why they are there if they found any. So, I looked at this doctor, very quizzically.
"Listen Baby, I'm not some suicidal Emo schmuck, okay?"
was apparently not the answer my doctor was looking for, but I was more than happy to explain the other scars to her. She seemed curious as to how one gets a scar across their wrist from a machete and one on the other arm from a crossbow bolt, but I never went into detail on that. I was also going to explain that if one were hypothetically trying to kill them self, they should slice vertically, from elbow to wrist, down their LEFT arm, not horizontally across their right wrist, as my [horrendously minor] injury was, but I figured then she'd have more questions for me. See why I don't like Hospitals? That and the fact they try to put we of occupations in the Mortuary Sciences out of business, prolonging peoples' lives and all. Also, I think it is a very shady business. And besides, shooting blood from my wrist at potential enemies sounded like an exciting super-power...then they glued my wrist shut...
Also, here's a random picture.
I've seen this thing in person. It is in one of the ...I think, seventeen...Massive resorts in Walt Disney World. Anyhow, all these years later, whenever I want to show someone, I have found all you have to do is google "Creepy chair" and viola! there it is.
I would purchase these, if I had the chance. Dozens of them.