They haul award-winning stereo systems and on most weeknights, the finest nude women this particular continent has to offer.
No, it doesn't have 400 Horsepower...But it will once I find a new rearend for it. Regardless, I have a charged 510 CID Chevelle for that , but it is a pro track car though, so I don't haul anything in it. No point in adding extra weight. I use my GTO for hauling, so long as it's Booze and (you guessed it) women. Usually my employees.
Of course, the true trophy for hauling booze goes to my friend's '67 Olds, which seven years ago, we used to make night runs to sell liqueur to people who could not access it by traditional means, due to legal restrictions and guidelines set by the company that owned the property they were staying at (Company will remain unnamed, but employs several thousand interns at any given time and issues them an apartment in one of their many complexes) where her and I would gather a third friend and each make a few extra thousand every night. Of course, I was only eighteen back then, so a few thousand a night was a lot of money to me.
In my ripe old age I can still look back at it and laugh through my retirement at the things I did when I was a kid.
For good measure though, my 16.4 Litre truck is good at hauling anything, usually my other cars, but lately it has been put to use transporting other fullsize "Adult" trucks. Good money in that, since that extra income from selling beverages to college interns from when I was younger couldn't fund my hobbies anymore, even if we were still doing it.
That being said, none of my vehicles get "Crappy" MPG. They actually use gas VERY well and I max out the pumps every time I buy gas (Where I live, you cannot get more than $75 per transaction). Well, I guess my Triumph does, but all motorbikes get horrible MPG. I am actually a bit ashamed to say I even own a vehicle that uses petrol so efficiently, but since it's not American, I can forgive it for this obvious flaw.
I prefer to do my part, since someplace out there there is an asshat in a Prius who is not using his share of petrol. We should deport treasonous bastards like that. These sick F**ks actually pride themselves on getting high MPG numbers. Absolutely disgusting.