Its 2007 , I'm 100 miles from home , and I've just been given a set of keys. Well fobs to be accurate.
I ask the dealer manager where Im getting these fobs "whats this to?" He says "08 STS v6". Here they have given , yours truely, a self proclaimed "polish caveman" the keys to a very sophisticated new Caddy. What a mistake , I will never make it home now. Let alone start the thing. Where did I park my flinstone mobile.
I wasnt thinking (as usual) and made my way out to the black STS . The car looked more like a STS-V from the rear , a large rear bumper and spoiler. Then there was something even more odd , a small emblem that said 3.6. Thinking its still too early to see the "new nose" STS I thought it just got minor trim changes. The fobs though looked strange but wayyyyy beatter then the old ones. Then the emblem next to the 3.6 emblem said it all "direct injection" , this was indeed the new facelifted STS. Wonderful , someone get technical assitance for me , as I doubt ill even be able to gain entry.
On the outside the car looks GREAT , much much beatter then the outgoing nose , the car now looks fresh , and new , and not poped out of a chinese toy factory. In addition to the new rear bumper , the new nose , and fender vents the car has very nice chrome door handles. In addition other nice trim bits that really moves this car up in the "looks expensive" department. There are also new wheels that look great and look like they had some thought put into them rather then the "lets do 7 straight spokes", The new wheels on this car had a sort of snowflake look , and were chrome , very nice package.
I scratch my head , grunt and pull the door handle hopeing to god that hasnt changed. Im greeted immedatly by the new Cadillac steering wheel , which Im sad to say is UGLY, give me back the old wheel please. Its really just the part that houses the airbag that looks bad , the rest is spot on. Im in ,and not a moment to soon as the little black cloud that follows me around for a living rains again. The seats are very much the same , and so is the rest of the interior. I am pretty sure though that the funky green wood is gone , and not a moment too soon. The crap reminded me of that time I found my 9 iron in the lake. Now it is a very nice combo of wood and brushed alumium.
The start button is carry over from last year , which was updated from 2006. Hopefully they have adressed the cracking issue. Push the button and the 298 Hp direct injection v6 comes to life. Once again , Im feeling very cocky that my genetics have allowed me to get this far. It really sounds no diffrent , and feels no diffrent then the old 3.6. That is untill you really step on it , you can drift this car if you wish. Great little engine..
So there I am , worlds fastest caveman barreling down an entrance ramp to the interstate, all is about to be not well. As I apex that last kink a Amber light illuminates on the dash and a loud "bong bong bong" is heard. I thought "well now youve done it you've angered the stability controll gods". It even has a logo of a little car sideways across a lane. Well isnt that humilateing , the car can now use the light to make fun of me. Well its about to get worse. Im driving along , with the cruise enegaged , fumbleing around XM , the heads up display changes and something yellow is below the speed. "Great now what" , I say. Turns out when you change the radio , temperatue or go into manual mode the lower portion of the heads up display changes. Most trick is manual mode , displaying the gear slected and a tach , (very very slick GM). A car passes me , the STS once again illuminates the car sideways logo and bongs at me. WAIT that isnt stability controll , thats "stay in your lane you stupid pollock". Somehow GM has figured out how to tell you if your about to leave your lane by accident and to tell you not to change lanes becuse there is a car beside you. This is a AWESOME feature. Espically if your not part caveman and know what it is to begin with. So humilitateing ....
The 08 is a great car , think the old STS , but done the way it should have been. Now here are the pics youve been waiting for ....
Serious dog is serious. 
