Say a prayer....

[FrankT]

Will do Ewill, sorry to hear about the loss. I'll keep your friend Meg and her family in prayer.
Take Care!

[Jesda]

What a mess, and what a horrible thing for him to do. Hope his wife and kids find a way to move on.

[Destroyer]

I do not believe in GOD or religion therefore I cant and wont pray. i do however offer my condolences to the wife and children. Like others have said, there is no telling what goes on in a mans life/head that makes him want to take his own life.

[gary88]

I really find it hard to feel sorry for people who take their own life. A life is a terrible thing to just throw away, especially when you have people who deeply care about you.

Best wishes to his wife and kids, I hope they find the strength to get through it all and move on.

[minnesotamom]

People who are depressed usually have a pretty distorted sense of reality. It's like being in a deep, dark hole...and it can seem like there is no way out. I think especially for men, there's still a stigma attached to being depressed, which makes it even more difficult to seek out help. Very tragic for him - that he was so ill that he saw death as the only way to escape his pain...and for his family and friends - who now have to deal with the aftermath of grief & pain intermingled with anger.
My prayers do go out to his wife and children....they've got a tough recovery ahead of them

[Ranger]

People who are depressed usually have a pretty distorted sense of reality. It's like being in a deep, dark hole...and it can seem like there is no way out.

So very true. The mind can make you things you would not normally do. I remember a guy in Viet Nam that went to a fortune teller while on R & R (Rest and Recuperation) in Bangkok. She told him he had 7 days left to live. He was kind of a whiny little complainer, but it got to him. When he got back, he still had 3 of those days left. One night while moving into an ambush position, he was walking point and stitched himself across the leg with an M16 on full auto in an attempt to make it look like an AD (accidental discharge). Damn, that had to hurt! Can you imagine his state of mind?

My thoughts and prayers are with his wife and children. They have a tough row to hoe. I hope they are strong and get the help they need.

[CTSV_Rob]

I heard a story similar to that.

A friend of mine was in the Navy and his last tour (the reason he got out) was on an Aircraft carrier. There was someone on his ship that wanted out of the Navy so bad that while he was on the wing of an F4 he jumped off stiff legged and broke both legs and I believe there was hip damage as well. This guy would probably never walk the same again and would have to live with that for the rest of his life.

Not really a comparison to Viet Nam but it's kind of the same idea. It is just so bad in that persons mind that they must get away from it.

[Kev]

Very sorry to hear such news. My prayers for the family.
The most tragic aspect in my thinking is the loss of the children's father. I'm sure they will always question and blame themselves. They will deal with emotions evoked by this act for the rest of their lives. I hope and pray they will be able to reconcile this and heal.

As some of you may know, my grandmother committed suicide this past December 7th. Her method was Oleander tea, a slow and painful way to go. She brewed and drank the tea on the evening of the 6th and died mid morning the next day. She had time to reconsider and call for help but she didn't.

My mother and aunt found her when they went to her home the morning of the 7th, she was in her bathroom, conscious and told them what she had done. They called 911, her stomach was pumped but it was too late. She was lucid until near the end.

I have gone through a myriad of emotions including anger toward her for doing this. I too felt it was very selfish but since, I've grown to think differently.

I her case, she was 93 years old, in the beginning stages of dementia and about to be placed in an assisted living facility. She was cognizant enough to realize that her income would not support the facility and her home would have to be sold to do so. She never expected nor wanted to live beyond 90 which was the age her mother passed and she wanted to live in her own home until the end. She also wanted her estate to be passed on to her children rather than an 'old folk's home'.

So, she cleaned her house thoroughly, brewed the tea and waited for the end.

I now recognize that it was not purely selfish of her, rather courageous in that she was trying to provide more for her family. This was confirmed in the many notes she wrote to her daughters and grandchildren. She explained her decision and tried to console us in it.

As a Christian I thought that suicide was unforgivable but I was wrong. According to scripture, specifically a quote from Jesus Christ there is only one sin that is unforgivable;

Mark 3:28-29
I tell you the truth, all the sins and blasphemies of men will be forgiven them. But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin." (NIV)

That caused me to rethink my position and gave me some hope.


There are many reasons and circumstances as to why people chose to take their own lives, some are selfish and some may just be unselfish. Despondency and depression can do horrible things to one's psyche.

I've learned that it's not mine to judge and that takes an unwelcome weight off my shoulders.

[Destroyer]

Originally Posted by Kev

As some of you may know, my grandmother committed suicide this past December 7th. Her method was Oleander tea, a slow and painful way to go. She brewed and drank the tea on the evening of the 6th and died mid morning the next day. She had time to reconsider and call for help but she didn't.

My mother and aunt found her when they went to her home the morning of the 7th, she was in her bathroom, conscious and told them what she had done. They called 911, her stomach was pumped but it was too late. She was lucid until near the end.

I have gone through a myriad of emotions including anger toward her for doing this. I too felt it was very selfish but since, I've grown to think differently.

I her case, she was 93 years old, in the beginning stages of dementia and about to be placed in an assisted living facility. She was cognizant enough to realize that her income would not support the facility and her home would have to be sold to do so. She never expected nor wanted to live beyond 90 which was the age her mother passed and she wanted to live in her own home until the end. She also wanted her estate to be passed on to her children rather than an 'old folk's home'.

So, she cleaned her house thoroughly, brewed the tea and waited for the end.

I now recognize that it was not purely selfish of her, rather courageous in that she was trying to provide more for her family. This was confirmed in the many notes she wrote to her daughters and grandchildren. She explained her decision and tried to console us in it.

As a Christian I thought that suicide was unforgivable but I was wrong. According to scripture, specifically a quote from Jesus Christ there is only one sin that is unforgivable;

Mark 3:28-29
I tell you the truth, all the sins and blasphemies of men will be forgiven them. But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin." (NIV)

That caused me to rethink my position and gave me some hope.


There are many reasons and circumstances as to why people chose to take their own lives, some are selfish and some may just be unselfish. Despondency and depression can do horrible things to one's psyche.

I've learned that it's not mine to judge and that takes an unwelcome weight off my shoulders.

Never mind all the bible stuff. I'll tell you not much I read gets to me but this did. She didn't want to be a burden on anyone. She understood the quality of life from that point on would not have been a good one. In this case, this was the bravest most selfless thing a person could do. She wanted to leave the estate for her family and didn't want to go to a facility. She lived and died by her own terms, I respect that. Amazing story and she sounds like she was an amazing woman.

[Ranger]

I have thought about that many times and I share your grandmothers feelings Kev. I have always said that if that time comes, I hope that I have the sense enough to know it and the balls enough to do it.

[Kev]

Thank you gentlemen.

[ewill3rd]

I appreciate everyone's comments.
If I find an opportunity I'll be sure to pass them along but I am not sure what kind of state of mind she is in right now.

Thanks to all for the consideration, the kind comments and thoughtful stories.

[heavymetals]

One of my dearest friends did that.

Terminal cancer and he wasn't going to let it beat him to the punch.

He put all his affairs in order and left a wife and young daughter (10 at the time).

His wife was very understanding as were his friends when he told her and them what he was up to.

She just told him not to do it in the house and not to do it when their daughter would find him.

The doctors gave him bottles of morphine and with a wink, told him not to drink it all at once or it would kill him.

sin? NO WAY.

[Destroyer]

I think we can all agree that suicide is a chicken shit thing to do but there are circumstances where its fully justified. Of course, this is the view of a man that is for the most part against religion.

[93DevilleUSMC]

I'm sorry to hear this, ewill. Godspeed.