Well....

[77CDV]

If you feel professional help would be of benefit to you, by all means avail yourself of it. Remember, though, that counselling is not a panacea, and that you'll still have good days and bad days. That's just life. Counselling may help you deal with it better, medication can help conceal the symptoms, but life will still be there and you still have to deal with it. I see too many people in my line of work who think popping a handful of pills every day solves all their problems. It doesn't.

Regardless, please do whatever you need to do to take proper care of yourself. We're all behind you.

Craig

[DopeStar 156]

I really don't want to go the way of professional help. I'd rather just bleed it out on my own, that's how I've always done it......

Snapping the little ****er's head off wouldn't hurt either....

[HITMONEY]

Been there DS, got the t-shirt.

Only thing I can promise you is.. "This too Shall Pass".

Time heals everything, and in the end you will be stronger for the experience.
The mistakes you learn the most from are the ones that hurt the most.

Just about everyone goes through this sick feeling at least once, it doesn't go away quickly... but I promise it goes away.

Here are the stages you will, and for the most part must go through.. sometimes you see-saw back and forth between them before they completely separate..especially the first 3.
1. Hurt
2. Depression, just don't let it get out of hand. In this stage comes the feelings of wanting her back no matter what... it is quite sickening later when you look back on it.
3. Anger - towards yourself, her and him.
3. Indifference, this is where you start to feel much better... you rarely care about it anymore.
4. Finally, you are completely over it, and have moved on.

One bit of advice I can give you... set a time limit for feeling depressed, angry, sad.. etc.. Mark that date on a calendar and feel as bad as you want until that date. After that date, when you feel sad tell yourself that you have allowed enough time for this emotion to rule your world and that it is not going to be tolerated anymore. The date is not magic, of course you will feel bad after it, but that is the time to fight it back.. its a sort of goal setting exercise that will help you to restore a sense of order and responsibility in your life.

I feel for you, but know this is just a normal part of life, a shitty one, but normal. They don't call it "Heartsick" for nothing.

It WILL pass.

[I~LUV~Caddys8792]

Originally Posted by HITMONEY

It WILL pass.

Just like a kidney stone.

[HITMONEY]

Originally Posted by I~LUV~Caddys8792

Just like a kidney stone.

If he is going through anything to the extent I have experienced 15 years ago... I'll take the kidney stone, thank you.

I ended up in the hospital, I hadn't eaten or hadn't slept for god knows how many days, I slipped into a whole new world... utter despair.

I finally collapsed one day and was rushed to the hospital.. my blood sugar had dropped and so did I.. like a sack of potatoes. I spent the night in the hospital getting fluids and nourishment through an I.V. I had lost 20+ pounds in little more than a month.

I woke up in the hospital the next day and the fog had lifted. Maybe because of the fluids, but I seemed to have my wits back about me.
then a rush of utter embarrassment came over me. I couldn't believe that I had let it get to that point... I was released from the hospital and had to drink Ensure for the next week to get my systems back up and going before I could tolerate solid foods.

Depression/despair is a windy dark rabbit hole, in my case I didn't eat or sleep which made the depressed feelings worse.... a vicious circle that feeds on itself that took having to eat through an IV to break the cycle.

But once I got some real rest and nourishment, I regained my senses and it was over and have never looked back.

But even now, writing this, the feeling of embarrassment is all that is left. I believe this is what has kept me from ever going through that again.

That whole experience over a girl, whom I fall to my knees and thank god I am not with now. Everything happens for a reason... and you must learn from everything that happens or it will repeat itself until you do.

And to steal a line from Forest Gump...

"And thats all I have to say 'bout that."

[DopeStar 156]

Originally Posted by HITMONEY

3. Anger - towards yourself, her and him.

Do homicidal fantasies fall into that gap.........

[NOT ON MY WATCH]

Originally Posted by DopeStar 156

Do homicidal fantasies fall into that gap.........

Come on now...you know the answer to that.

You really need to force yourself to focus on other things...positive things.

If you can't focus - seek help from a sympathetic friend or family member. If that doesn't work, seek professional help.

G/L, DS.

[RightTurn]

Hit left out one stage...."thirst for revenge." And of course, revenge is sweet. muhahahaha.

[DopeStar 156]

It's just a fantasy. It involves me and the Venom symbiote and that's the beautiful death I have selected for him. Nothing else will do and since the Venom symbiote doesn't exist outside the pages of a comic book, I'd say it's safely filed under "fantasy." It's just something I fall asleep to.....

[RightTurn]

Whatever gets you through the night.

[xshrpshtr]

I just read all of this...I litterally moved from Nevada to Wyoming to get over one. I am not young nor a fool. I let one nearly kill me. It is easily the hardest thing I have ever been put through emotionally. I had one VERY good friend who was a lot of help. She is a close family friend. The only woman I have ever met whom I could truly say, is a lady. She is the real deal. She gives me hope I can find one like her.

DP, it is a long road. DO NOT stay in contact with her or your "friend" whatever. Succes is the best revenge. You holed up in your own pain does nothing to her. She won't feel soory for you. She is not capable. She is a cheap vengeful tramp and you are damn lucky to have found out now than later. Find ways to be where they are not. Take up a past time that 1: fully emgages your mind and 2: will be a positive influence on your life. >>working out/ a project of some sort, like building a car?/ getting an online degree...something. Volunteer for big brothers or a homeless/veterans place...whatever flats your boat. You MUST get your mind onto something else. Time heals...

[DopeStar 156]

RELAPSE

This is irritating.....

[DILLIGAF]

Sorry dude!We all have been there.I only read the first page,it was depressing me so I didn't read on.My advise,re-invent yourself right now.You have a clean slate so to speak.Your a young ,good looking intelligent man that has the world at his finger tips.I'm not adviseing you to be a ignorant red neck hick with a flat top like me, but maybe land yourself somewhere in between.

[Jesda]

Ahh, young love.

Don't speak to her ever again. Ever.

Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever.

EVER.

Do as I say and you'll be fine. Now go find a beat-up old Cadillac to buy and fix up to occupy your mind.

[gothicaleigh]

You're letting me and the rest of the counter-culture down. Where's the bad poetry? There's always bad poetry.






<crickets>

sorry.




Truly sorry to hear that things didn't work out.

I want to say something helpful, I really do. But honestly time is the only thing that will help (that and everyone already beat me to the conditioned responses ).

Eventually you will be able to get over most of this and months or years from now reading your notebook filled with angsty goodness will only make you feel embarassed that you let it affect you this much.
Sure, because you obviously cared deeply for her, the good memories will always prick at you. That is life though. Looking back, the bad parts make the good that much better. In the meantime find something else to focus on, sketching is good, get lost in it. If you're not having fun with whatever you are doing, quit doing it.

...and ...um that's about all I have at the moment.
Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.
Hope you survive the experience. *HUGZ*