Well....

[ahahnu]

Wow, this is something that happens to alot of peope and when you read it, it brings back your own memories. I am truely sorry man. Love is a powerful emotion that just takes over and can make you blind. Atleast you lifted off the blinders to figure out what is best for you. If girlfriends and friends are like that then who need enemies? A person(s) like that is not who you need to be around anyway. You'll find people who have the same interests as you and it will get better. As you get older your friends revolve anyway depending on what you are doing in your life at that time anyway so don't really consider it a loss, just a new chapter, pages turned. Things happen for a reason, and no matter how bad now, the clouds will lift and you'll find right again. Really seriously though, consider it a lesson, which it sounds like you are, and time will make it better. Time is the only thing. And a new girl, but take your time and don't get sucked in.

[TexasCadillac]

sorry to hear that bro. It has been done to a lot of us. The sooner you go out with another girl, the sooner you will get over the ex. Time will help heal your pain. good luck TexasCadillac

[Destroyer]

Originally Posted by TexasCadillac

............good luck TexasCadillac

Why are you wishing yourself good luck?.

[MauiV]

Sorry to hear that but remember, your 22 years old. Live life. Like someone earlier said some of us older "wiser" ones have been there and done that, in my case SEVERAL times. I didnt get married until I was 34 years old because I refused to settle for less than I deserved or change who I am for anyone.

I hope the thing you learn from this is to be yourself. If someone cant be with who you are, they dont deserve you. Its not worth it and in the end you will always still end up being yourself anyway and its better to find out if they can accept it earlier than later.

I went through a HUGE breakup with a fiance when I was about 27. We lived together and it got UGLY, but I think the powers that be everyday when I wake up next to my wife that I didnt compromise who I was to satisfy someone else. I damn near went broke because I went out every single night and made new friends. I refused to sit at home depressed and if it meant I was broke, then so be it. It was a hell of a lot better than sitting at home looking at 4 walls and pondering what "should have been".

Just remember, its better you two did this now rather than when she gets half your stuff!

[DopeStar 156]

Originally Posted by Destroyer

Obviously you have to vent, you have to keep busy and keep your mind off it. I suggest working out, especially with a punching bag.

I'm not one to work out typically, but I did lose 12 lbs in two and a half weeks from depression. I've been doing a lotta drawing actually, something I used to love to do but I'm outta practice. I'm trying to get as good as I used to be. I'm working on an ink sketch of Venom from Spider-Man, my all time favorite comic book villain which I'd like to turn into a tattoo......

[Destroyer]

Originally Posted by DopeStar 156

I'm not one to work out typically, but I did lose 12 lbs in two and a half weeks from depression. I've been doing a lotta drawing actually, something I used to love to do but I'm outta practice. I'm trying to get as good as I used to be. I'm working on an ink sketch of Venom from Spider-Man, my all time favorite comic book villain which I'd like to turn into a tattoo......

The weight loss is typical and expected. This is a serious ordeal and it consumes you to the point you dont even give a crap about eating. I lost much more when I went through this almost EXACT same thing, but my situation was worse and I actually put a hurt on my so called "friend". By coincidence, I was the exact same age as you when it happened to me. Drawing is great, you seem to be real good at it, but I'm tellin' ya hit the bag, really release some of that rage inside. Worked for me.

[dmarlow]

I remember my first heartbreak growing up in a small town in the south......... we were high school sweethearts for the most of two and a half years........she was the leading member of her class, the star of the girls basketball team and a year behind me.

I was not much of anything at that time in my life other than hunting, fishing and hanging out with my friends.
As I graduated and went on my way to find myself she decided to go with the football Capitan and his team.........damn that hurt.

My best friend's dad told me something I would always remember............."Women are like street cars, don't chase after them because they'll be another one come along any minute."

Later I thought.....street cars in Tennessee............WTF...........it worked for me.

After 10 years of concentrating on my future I meet my wife and partner of 22 years and couldn't be happier.

We have our first grandchild that turned 4 months old on 2nd of this month and I couldn't be more proud.

What I'm trying to tell ya is there are a lot of fish in that there big ocean and I'm sure you'll land the one that's right for you in time.
Concentrate on what is most important/interesting to you..........

She's not worth it if she was willing to go on her own............it was her choice.

[CIWS]

Just read through this Dope, sorry to hear man. But things do work out for the best, it just doesn't seem that way at the time.

[slk230mb]

Sorry to hear this Dope. Hang in there, other people have given some good suggestions.

[93DevilleUSMC]

I'm sorry to hear about this, man. It makes my dog thread look like nothing. She stabbed you in the back, but like dkozloski said, you at least got out with a whole skin. If she was going to do that to you, then she wasn't good enough for you.

My condolences, sir.

[Stoneage_Caddy]

dope ....dude ....not good man ....thats so terrible im too scared to even talk to the "new prospect" tonight ..im going for a ride for the evening .... ive been there , what your writing is bringing back alot of pain that ive seen .... in a way your helping me , reminding me of whats possible and to keep my head on the swivel for impending doom ...

Hardest part is not thinking of your bud with her.....But dont worry , things wont last long with him ...Hes "rebound i dont wanna be alone" boy ....he'll be dumped too ... hell be destoryed by her too ...he will the whole time be haunted from her talking about how good things were with you....it will drive him up the wall ....My advice ...dont ever let her back in , she will try to hurt you again ...you must run , fast and hard ....burn the bridge and piss on the ashes ...

Now , go grab your bed , tear the sheets off ....throw them away , get new ones , same with pillows , same with anything on it ....rearrage your entire room ...EVERYTHING...redo where you place your clothes ....go thru everything and clean the hell out of it looking for things related to her...put them in a bag....

BURN IT

Delete the crap from your computer , cell , everything , leave nothing ....change everything around you ....now is a great time to think about who exactly you are....what is it that "dopestar" alter ego that you like so much? How hard would it be to make the "false" things about him true? Funny thing about an alter ego is it is YOU without the censorship ...

Buy a harley ....thats what i did ....get an old one ....its the fastest way to get a new group to roll with ....if it wasnt for the sportster Pamela would still have me crying for her every day ...well dont run out and buy one on my accord , but you get my idea ...you need something to create all sorts of change in your life , something that brings you into a new group with a new sense of comraderie ....as much as i enjoy this place and the people.... the cadillac doesnt do that the way the harley does ...

Stoneage_Caddy and Mike were two differnt people 6 years ago .....Stoneage represented everything i needed to be , more gutsy , more out there , more freindly, not afird to be funny .....i used stoneage caddy for parts , and become who i am nowadays ...stoneage caddy proved people liked who i wanted to be ...a way to test the real you before the real world has to see it ...

After my most recent breakup i too was paranoid , becuse my girl used so many online areas i use to play games on me ....she used every site i went on outside cadillac forums ....i had issues even with myspace , she was useing it as a weapon to get me to cheat on her...Its possible i may never be able to date anything off the internet again .....but .....is that such a bad thing? Its just like you , is it such a bad thing you have to be paranoid about the group you roll with ? maybe its time to remove yourself from that group ....

Above all , you must live .....Regardless of what anyone says there is no gaurantee of what awaits your soul on the other side , thats significantly more time then your your stay here on earth with us my freind ...

Dope , this took me awhile to type out ....so dont think that no one cares ...

[DopeStar 156]

"DopeStar" is mainly an entity that took over when I was 15. He became a way to get over my discomfort in social situations. He would tell people to **** off when it was needed and knock teeth down throats when someone screwed with him or his friends. He wasn't afraid to fight back when someone tried to kick him down and had all the confidence he needed to do it. He was the casual, superior, gutsy, and outgoing person I always wanted to be. He's not so much a character I play, he's become me and he's my preference. The problem is lately I've disconnected from him and I've got to get him back......

It explains my obsession with the character Venom. As Eddie Brock alone he always got the short end of the stick, always trampled by others. When the Black Spider-Man ruined his reputation as a reporter Eddie wanted to get back at him but couldn't do it. When he was melded with Spider-Man's newly rejected Symbiote it brought his urges together with its own and the two became "we." Not always a villian, Venom acts more like a vigilante who just happens to have Spider-Man on the same list as those who will pay for their sins. Eddie was better off with the Symbiote on a personal level.

This is what happens when a comic book nerd associates his own reality with that of the Marvel universe......

[77CDV]

The funny thing about created personalities is that they were always a part of us all along. You felt the "real" you was too timid, too shy, too introverted, so you created DopeStar to counter that self-perception. I would submit that DopeStar is the "real" you, insofar as there is a "real" any of us. We are all ultimately who we choose to be and what we choose to present to the world as our public face.

Breakups hurt (been there). But, and I'll try to be kind, you need to be loved for who you think you are, not for what you think will make you more loveable to someone else. If you think you're DopeStar, then that's who your woman needs to love. If you're really that shy, introverted, socially awkward guy you say, then the woman worthy of you will love you because of it, not in spite of it.

Take time, work on the car, hang out with whomever you damn well please, and generally get on with life. Time and distance will bring the proper perspective. After a while, you'll wonder what you ever saw in her (been there, too).

Be safe, stay sane, unload on us whenever you want.

Craig

[OffThaHorseCEO]

i had a bad breakup a while back, i sulked and got all depressed, im skinny but i think i still lost weight because (i think) i was depressed. It finally hit me that i was making myself feel this way. its almost as if i wanted to be sad. The good think about it was that since i was so disconnected i never did anything but work sleep and some eating, so i had a lot of extra money. The turning point was when my cousin and older brother invited me to the mall on a weekend. we went and i spent a good bit of what i had extra but i felt good. Of course there were girls at the mall and since I was in a good mood i approached one, and got her number. I never called her but just knowing i could made me feel alot better.

maybe im rambling, i usually do, but good luck and get out of the house, hit the mall, spend some money on Dopestar. Go to wherever the ladies are. Hell you live in fla im sure its warm right about now, hit the beach

[Destroyer]

All this talk of alter egos is a bit confusing. "Destroyer" is simply the name of an old KISS album not the other "me". If however this alternate personality works then by all means go with it. I may try it myself and destroy some stuff tonight.