... and I've come to the conclusion that I hate everybody!
Perhaps that's a bit melodramatic, but I've certainly been finding everyone that much more annoying.
The fact remains though... nothing is quite as good as a good Camel... a Camel with my coffee... a Camel with my scotch... a Camel after dinner... a Camel with a pint of chocolate milk... a Camel after dealing with the idiots at work... a Camel with... well... you get the point.
I know for those who have never done it have absolutely no clue what I'm talking about but just imagine doing something every day for the majority of your life that you really enjoy which brings you to a blissful moment of Zen and then tell yourself that you must give it up.
I think, all in all, I have a pretty good chance of kicking it for good because this is something I'm doing on my solely by my own accord. I'm in good health and in good shape... I have no other preexisting conditions and I already lead a healthy lifestyle. I'm not overweight, I get enough exercise, and I eat perfectly. So I figure this is the best time for me to do so, before it actually becomes imperative that I have to.
It's kind of ironic though because most people would never guess that I smoke just from the lifestyle that I lead... I mean, hell... one of my bachelors was in dietetics/nutrition. I have constantly helped to get my close friends and loved ones to make, plan, and implement healthier lifestyle choices and yet I've chosen to remain in denial about this for all these years.
I always used to make excuses... like, "ok, I'm still young, I'll quit when I'm 25," then that turned into, "ok... I enjoy it too much, I still have time, I WILL quit by the time I'm 30." After that it became "Well.. I eat right, I exercise, I feel great... I'll just do it when I'm ready..." Suffice it to say.. it's been almost five years and I'll be hitting the big three-five in a few months... and for the first time since, well.. the wee one-five, I want this one to be smoke free.
So... yeah... I'm now two weeks into cutback mode and down to two a day which, let me tell you... going from anywhere between half a pack to a whole pack a day is nothing less than sheer hell. I know a lot of people suggest going cold-turkey, but I just can't do it... it's just not within my personality.
I think the worst part of it has been how much my sleep has been thrown off... and when I don't get my sleep I'm not a happy camper, so all that does is just compound the situation. I'm doing one in the morning and one before bed and those are the two most wonderful times of my day... truly, wholly, wonderful. Once my body has adjusted to this regimen, I'm going to cut back to one whole one, at what ever time a day as needed. Once adjusted to that I'm going to go to every other day, and then finally none. I hope to have it all finished by Christmas.
So what have I learned from this whole experience thus far?
It's a bitch.
But it's nothing I haven't done to myself and I know I'll be better off for it. On the plus side, I've decided to put all the money I'd normally spend on cigs aside in jar... I figure if I'm going to do this I might as well end up with that new flat-screen HDTV I've been wanting...
