So, I get a call this morning. "What are you doing for the fourth?!" I say, "Oh, going to my buddies house...drinking beer, swimming, hot tub, fireworks, jeep, rabbit hunting, clay pigeon shooting, fireworks, beer, jeep, rabbits, fireworks, dry ice bombs, beer, acetylene bombs, beer, blown ear drums, fires, beer, whisky, beer, fire. The usual."
He says "Oh, well I'm throwing a giant party at my place in La Jolla with a couple of live bands and two bars inside my house and one bar on my giant outside patio that you can see 9 different fireworks shows from after dark." And you can see both La Jolla and Mission Beach from my front door, and I have steps leading down to both of them if you don't like the action in the ginormous house with the live music and open bar and scantilly clad San Diego girls and Arizona girls that come to San Diego for the summer. You should come."
"You should come" he says. WTF?
"F off" I tell him. "I have to work the next day. I've never called in sick to work in my life, yet, and I'm not going to start yet. Plus, how am I going to get to San Diego. I live an 8 hour drive away!"
He says "Just be at the airport in Sacramento at 7:00 on the morning of the fourth. You're flying southwest."
"F off, I say. I have to work the next day. How am I going to get back home in time, and sober, to work?"
He says "Don't worry about it. You should be getting a call anytime now. You don't work till Friday morning at eleven thirty. Your plane lands at 8:00 friday morning. You'll have an hour to get home and an hour to get ready, then go to work. You'll be fine."
Just about then, my house phone rings. It's one of the girls from work. She just wants to call and tell me "Thanks! I really needed that money, and thanks for letting me work your shift on Thursday!"
I say "Huh?"
Then I realize. My douchebag friend somehow managed to talk someone into working for my the day after the fourth of july. I'm assuming he paid them, because that's what we do at my work. Extra incentive, ya know? And he bought me roundtrip airfare to San Diego, and I've got a taxi lined up to get me from the airport to his house on the morning of the fourth. I don't know how I'm getting back to the airport on the sixth, but I don't care.
I need new friends.
Anybody want to come to La Jolla?
