A guy walks into a bar....

**Rolex** · #1 (**permalink**) 03-01-07, 10:19 PM

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH : $2.50 HANDJOB: $10.00 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive women serving drinks to a meager looking group of men. "Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?" "I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?" "Yes", she purrs, "I am." The man replies "Well wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

**Florian** · #2 (**permalink**) 03-01-07, 10:22 PM

instant classic!

F

LS1Mike · #3 (**permalink**) 03-01-07, 10:23 PM

Awesome!

Stoneage_Caddy · #4 (**permalink**) 03-01-07, 10:26 PM

The guy later says "this hamburger tastes like a crab cake"

CadiJeff · #5 (**permalink**) 03-01-07, 10:31 PM

....but I wanted a tuna sandwich!
LOL

I am sooooo going to hell.

**I~LUV~Caddys8792** · #6 (**permalink**) 03-01-07, 10:34 PM

That isn't mayo on my cheeseburger is it?

pabstcadillac · #7 (**permalink**) 03-01-07, 10:49 PM

I was thinking it was going to be...

So a guy walks into a bar & takes a seat. He's sitting there for a couple of minutes & hears "You sure smell nice today". He looks around & sees nobody. He orders a beer & while drinking he hears "Good job on that outfit you have on, have you lost a few pounds". Looking around he still only sees the bartender & is beginning to wonder WTF? So he says to the bartender "I think I'm losing it, I keep hearing this voice". The bartender says, "No it's just the nuts, they're complimentary".

CadiJeff · #8 (**permalink**) 03-01-07, 10:51 PM

(eyes rolling) groan!

dkozloski · #9 (**permalink**) 03-01-07, 11:22 PM

A guy walks into a bar and it isn't long before everyone notices that he stinks like hell. He keeps trying to strike up a conversation but everybody edges away from him. He asks the bartender, "What's wrong with everybody they aren't the least friendly?" The bartender says, "It's you not them. You smell bad." The guy explains that he works at the airport and when the airplanes land he drains the poop storage tank and sometimes the hose doesn't fit too good and he gets sprayed. The bartender asks, "Why don't you get another job?" The guy jumps up in alarm and says, "What, and give up aviation?"

Spyder · #10 (**permalink**) 03-02-07, 01:20 AM

A guy walks into a bar and says ouch!

Sorry...I don't have any good guy in a bar jokes...

caddydaddy · #11 (**permalink**) 03-02-07, 06:11 AM

I got one!:

a baby seal walks into a club..........

JRau · #12 (**permalink**) 03-02-07, 07:34 AM

Rolex, PabstCadillac, and DKoz:

Great jokes, thanks for the laughs. Nice way to start off my morning.

JRau in central Iowa

xxpinballxx · #13 (**permalink**) 03-02-07, 07:34 AM

LOL! Love the seal one....LOL! Points for a while on that one caddad.

xxpinballxx · #14 (**permalink**) 03-02-07, 07:38 AM

A duck walks into a bar...
Duck says got any grapes?
No replies the bartender and we don't serve ducks you gotta go.
Next day duck comes back in the bar and says Got any grapes?
Bartender says Didn't I tell you yesterday we don't have grapes and we aren't serving any ducks. Get out!
Next day duck does the same thing and the bartender says If you come in here again I am going to staple youe webbed feet to the bar!
Next day bartender sees the duck coming in and thinks this duck must be stupid or something.
Duck walks up to the bartender and asks Got any Staples?
No says bartender...
Duck says then do you got any grapes?

Sorry its the worst joke I ever heard probably but makes me laugh everytime!

ewill3rd · #15 (**permalink**) 03-02-07, 07:38 AM

Two guys walk into a bar.... the third guy ducked.