: when will this day come????



JJhomer83
02-02-04, 02:03 PM
The day is coming when . . . . .


Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir. I knew the number you were calling from -- just checking you out for lying."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn! What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. Oh yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Hires Root Beer your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics.

Stoneage_Caddy
02-02-04, 02:28 PM
hahahaha ,for some reason i see that day will come soon ....about the same time i jump ship from this country ......stalin/marxx would be proud if that day arrives

Ralph
02-02-04, 10:15 PM
hahahaha ,for some reason i see that day will come soon ....about the same time i jump ship from this country ......stalin/marxx would be proud if that day arrives

Hey, you stole MY line! LOL!

lev
03-02-04, 07:41 PM
Yeah, and we will be sitting here on out asses, letting it all happen and do :banghead: Or vote for some clean shaven well groomed crook dangling yet another carrot in the exchange for your freedom.

inmycadillac
03-02-04, 07:49 PM
jj, u hit the nail dead center dude. that is exactly where we are heading. disgusting and scary. i'll be in Canada visiting Ralph by then.

Ralph
03-03-04, 01:56 AM
jj, u hit the nail dead center dude. that is exactly where we are heading. disgusting and scary. i'll be in Canada visiting Ralph by then.

You are welcome here anytime. :coolgleam

HotRodSaint
03-03-04, 07:48 AM
Or vote for some clean shaven well groomed crook dangling yet another carrot in the exchange for your freedom.
Thank God that Edwards won't be on this years ballot. That'd be scary.

At least Dean let himself be known, too well known, but you knew you were getting a phsyco. Edwards was too slick with his words, like he was trying to win a case he knew he shouldn't have brought to court.

HollywoodHicks1
03-03-04, 10:23 AM
I hope the day doesn't come, but for some odd reason, I see it coming.:hmm: