: Personal Violation....Part 2



Florian
03-24-06, 03:20 PM
During the course of my previous thread, it came to my attention that there were at least 2 other gentlemen that had not only felt my pain, but also felt a pain that I had about 20 years ago in college, that truly haunts me to this day.
STORYTIME WITH FLORIAN:
I was in college at a decent size Div 1 Midwest College and was a freshman when a friend of mine in the marching band (band ***!) invited me to a keg party. Well, loving beer as much as I do and did then, how could I say no? So I end up at this little off campus apartment with a bunch of zilches, all talking about what formation they like and how the conductor is a controlling douchebag...blah, blah, blah. Well on my way to the party, I stopped at the local headshop and picked up what was then called "Rush". It came in a little bottle and it gave you a little, well, rush when you sniffed it. Turns out it was Amyl Nitrate (what homo's use as an ass-loosening drug) So Im hangin out near the keg, havin a few beers, puttin on a good buzz when I break out the Rush and do a few snorts. I started gettin light headed and enjoyed the weird buzz this was giving me in conjuction with the beers.... Well, apparantly this cute little red-head wanted to see what the hell I was doing hits of, so she slides on over. We get talking making nice chit-chat and she says she wants some of the stuff I was inhaling. So, bout an hour later, completely fooked up out of my gourd, Im sitting right next to the door my dick is out of my zipper and in the red-heads hand getting a dry rub like youd put on a nice strip steak. Well apparantly this Rush stuff does nothing to get you hard, it just relaxes the living hell out of you, so no matter how long and how hard she went at it, nothing.
So, I wake up the next day at her apartment, how I got there, who knows. My junk looks like it was tenderized with 40 grit sandpaper...and holy shizzle the burn. Imagine giving your mule an "indian burn" for about 4 hours and youll get the idea. She is still asleep so I take the 'walk of shame' home and collect my thoughts. Its funny, about 5.30-6 am you see a lot of people all disheveled and unkempt walking alone to somewhere..I think thats why its the walk of shame and today was my day.
A week or so later, my package is still burnin, so I gotta head over to the 'campus clinic' where all the a-holes who didnt wear rubbers gotta go to make sure they dont have the clap, or whatever ailment was cruising around campus that week...so here I am, checking in and whispering to the receptionist about what I thought I had...then meekly returning to grab a seat until my name was called. Forward 30 minutes, Im in one of those stinkin little white rooms with a paper smock on and the doctor comes in with a cart of stuff Ive never seen and frankly, didnt know what it was. He tells me to drop the smock and he'd do the test. I asked him what was gonna happen...so he goes over to the little cart and takes out what appears to be a long syringe...about 8 inches long with a little Q-Tip swabby thing on the end. HOLY SHITE! Man, I figured it out RIGHT NOW!!! Needless to say, he wanted to shove what looked at that point to be a car antenna with one of those little balls on the end up my tiny pee-hole. Talk about getting flaccid in a hurry....I think my junk climbed back up into me after seeing that thing. Well, the doctor takes a look at my severly scared and shrivelled package and says "I cant check you out like that"....and leaves. Apparantly my little manhood was so afraid of what was coming next that my urethra needed to be stretched a bit for the dreaded Q-Tip antenna to work. You thought it was bad to this point?
IT GETS WORSE.....
What happens next will make all my friends laugh at me for years to come as I tell them what happened.
In walks a lovely nurse, maybe 26 years old, or shes an intern or something, but she is SMOKIN hot! Im thinkin, yeah, this is gettin good....but then she slips on a pair of latex gloves and tells me to lay on my back. So I do...WTF? She proceeds to jerk me off to get me a bit 'hard' so the doc can come back and do the test. Well, it worked pretty well..she leaves, about 5 seconds later the doc walks in, grabs my mule and slams that friggin QTip up my pee-hole..WOW! Ive never felt so much pain in my life...or so I thought. He now begins to twist that friggin thing to get 'a better swab' of whatever bug may be in there....10 seconds later, its over. I felt like a deflated balloon. Im exhausted. My toes have grabbed the paper they cover the exam table with, and Im sweating like a pig....total flop sweat. I leave, disgusted and yet again, violated.
EPILOGUE:
No disease, clean as a whistle...BUT, the worst part was the first piss after the doc 'tamped the cannon' Seeing as the Q tip had just dried my 'passageway' that first piss felt like I had a fire-breathing c0ck. JESUS, did it burn....wow, it was way beyond the 'procedure' pain.
Anyway, I survived to see another day, and I stayed away from that "rush" shite and band-***s. Seemed to me to be a bad combo...
:thepan:

Hope you enjoyed my little trip down memory lane...have a good weekend.


F

FredMaxwell
03-24-06, 03:29 PM
Holy god man
Someone else did feel my pain
You should hear NOT SE what happened to me one time when I was drinking and rubbing alcohol,
well

Good lord

At least I am not the only one to have the
q tip

experience

I might add that I had to do it TWICE
First time they let ME do it MYSELF after 20 minutes of "discussion"
Second time they made me let her do it

Jonas McFeely
03-24-06, 03:30 PM
damn,what a good read.

chuckdobbins
03-24-06, 03:35 PM
hmm. i was under the impression that all guys end up getting the needle up the urethra treatment at some point in life.

if thats true, thank god its not my time just yet!

Spyder
03-24-06, 03:36 PM
I just had the 'ol Q-tip about a week ago...first timer for me...figured it'd be a good thing to do since I've been back in the "dating pool" for a while now...just to be safe. Nothing wrongwith me, but not something I'll ever look forward to doing again!

JimHare
03-24-06, 05:13 PM
Got one too - a while back, in the throes of passion with a female acquaintance of long standing, things were getting a little dry. I reach into the nightstand drawer (without loosing a beat, mind you.. .) and fumble in the dark for the K-Y... pop the top off, squirt a good sized glob in my palm, and then rub Mr. Johnson and begin to apply to my lady friend in the appropriate area..about three seconds into it, we both jump out of bed screaming like banshees....

I didn't realize the IcyHot medicinal balm felt just like a tube of K-Y

Oy vey

We sat in a tub of cold water for about 45 minutes before the burn finally started to subside.

Lesson learned. Keep the IcyHot away from the nightstand.

LittleB
03-24-06, 05:20 PM
ohhh...my....god....:jawdrop:.....she jacked you off! That is so awesome. Is that illegal? :histeric:

mccombie_5
03-24-06, 05:33 PM
Tell me this isnt going to happen to me. There has to be some way of avoiding this one, I can just about live with a finger in the ass, but not there. Noooooooooo way. Dad never told me about this in "the talk"

FredMaxwell
03-24-06, 05:36 PM
For the record I wasn't drinking Rubbing Alcohol,
I did something with it

mccombie_5
03-24-06, 05:37 PM
For the record I wasn't drinking Rubbing Alcohol,
I did something with it
:thepan:

FredMaxwell
03-24-06, 05:39 PM
:thepan:


NOW you do that
Bad timing,
See I needed it back then :confused:

mccombie_5
03-24-06, 05:40 PM
NOW you do that
Bad timing,
See I needed it back then :confused:


Clearly!

Tell the story Fred!

Florian
03-24-06, 09:09 PM
Yeah B, she tugged on my junk for about a minute or so until the blood started flowin....it was a bit of a turn on, but knowing that I was gonna get the dick-plunger made it all sorta anti-climatic. (sorry about the pun). Anyway, illegal or not, it was a bit humiliating.:bigroll:


F

ShadowLvr400
03-24-06, 10:08 PM
When they Q-tipped me, the nurse was NOT attractive, though she did make an appreciative sound when I dropped trou. I wasn't up, just that sort of relaxed but inflated look... Apparently I was bigger than she expected.

And as for Jim Hare, I've been there. Got dared to use mineral ice on my man biscuits. Suckered my little bro into it at a later date. He got a big glob, apparently even put some on his taint... Lets just say he wasn't happy.

Florian
03-24-06, 10:51 PM
Taint...love that word.
Favorite movie? Taint your Wagon, of course!


F

LittleB
03-24-06, 11:34 PM
Yeah B, she tugged on my junk for about a minute or so until the blood started flowin....it was a bit of a turn on, but knowing that I was gonna get the dick-plunger made it all sorta anti-climatic. (sorry about the pun). Anyway, illegal or not, it was a bit humiliating.:bigroll:


F

Well how nice of that hot nurse to do that. I still wonder if it's illegal just out of curiosity. Hey minus the dick-plunger thing...that sounds like every man's fantasy (well, one of them at least :histeric:)

Adam
03-24-06, 11:34 PM
OH... MY... GOD... :histeric: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whew, that was funny. that sucks for you man. i have seen that done, also seen guys get cathed (with and without the KY). and i have seen guys pull their caths out and split their dicks in 2.