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Personal violation today....

3K views 41 replies 23 participants last post by  Rolex 
#1 ·
:eek: Well, Im at that magic age where, when you go see your doctor, he wants to get to know your insides...from the backside. My doc is a personal friend of mine and I have dreaded this day for a long time...nothing quite like a childhood friend plunging his spidery fingers into your ass. So there I sit in my paper gown sweating bullets about what is about to transpire. The lube is placed on the counter, the rubber gloves snapped in place and those dreaded words "OK, Florian, turn around and put your elbows on the counter. I feel for you women who have to get your insides checked out, it isnt much fun. My douchebag friend doc didnt even warm the lube up...just jammed me full of chilly wetness. Funny part is, I had a huge lunch and as he was...uh, retracing his steps lets say...he got a nose full of burrito! Well, lets just say, we are still pals (maybe closer now than ever before) and it was embarrasing enough to get my guts probed by a pal, but the worst part was the snail trail up my pants from the goo that mustve seeped out! EWWW anal seepage...does it get any worse? So I had to go home and change my pants (and wash my ass to boot to get that slimey shizzle out of my now violated crack). :eek:

Just thought Id share with all my pals here.


F
 
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#3 ·
:histeric: ahahahahaha, i havent laughed that hard in a long time. whew that was hilarious. sucks for you though. i talked with your doctor pal though and he said you scheduled another one for next week?

Florian said:
:eek: Well, Im at that magic age where, when you go see your doctor, he wants to get to know your insides...from the backside. My doc is a personal friend of mine and I have dreaded this day for a long time...nothing quite like a childhood friend plunging his spidery fingers into your ass. So there I sit in my paper gown sweating bullets about what is about to transpire. The lube is placed on the counter, the rubber gloves snapped in place and those dreaded words "OK, Florian, turn around and put your elbows on the counter. I feel for you women who have to get your insides checked out, it isnt much fun. My douchebag friend doc didnt even warm the lube up...just jammed me full of chilly wetness. Funny part is, I had a huge lunch and as he was...uh, retracing his steps lets say...he got a nose full of burrito! Well, lets just say, we are still pals (maybe closer now than ever before) and it was embarrasing enough to get my guts probed by a pal, but the worst part was the snail trail up my pants from the goo that mustve seeped out! EWWW anal seepage...does it get any worse? So I had to go home and change my pants (and wash my ass to boot to get that slimey shizzle out of my now violated crack). :eek:

Just thought Id share with all my pals here.


F
 
#6 ·
I get that every year when I get a company physical. I told the physicians assisatant who does it that "I bet SHE brags to all her friends how she can lift a 200 lb. man off his feet with just one finger". Then commented how I hate this. She jokingly said, "It doesn't bother me at all". To which I responded, "Good, then you take off your pants and bend over this table". Come to think of it, I have a "date" with her next month. Ya had to remind me didn't you.
 
#8 ·
Florian said:
he said he had to stick in 2 fingers....cause the HMO wanted a second opinion. Its funny until that one the sticks in there feels like a bowling pin.

F
The Stiffmeister recomends using 3 fingers. :thumbsup:


I had to get the back door exam end of last year.
I went into the ER (as a patient) with some severe belly pains. This is the same ER I have to make regular visits to for consults (to treat patients), so having one of the cute lady physicians (I have to otherwise see face to face) "check my oil" really wasn't too pleasant. :rolleyes: If you live long enough it's going to happen though.

I'm sure your friend is a professional and won't ever make mention of "it" while you guys are golfing.
 
#9 ·
1 word,colonoscopy,untill you've had one of these you truely havn't been violated F.I have a vid if you want to see it LOL.I'm guessing you just had a prostate exam?Small potatoes.I laugh now but the night before the big C is pure helllll.They make you drink gallons of stuff that will make you go and go and go till you levitate off the toilet.Every 4 yrs guys after 40
 
#11 ·
rp64ctsv said:
1 word,colonoscopy,untill you've had one of these you truely havn't been violated F.I have a vid if you want to see it LOL.I'm guessing you just had a prostate exam?Small potatoes.I laugh now but the night before the big C is pure helllll.They make you drink gallons of stuff that will make you go and go and go till you levitate off the toilet.Every 4 yrs guys after 40
Hahahahaa!!! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that!
 
G
#13 ·
Well no one has ever violated my ass
And if anyone ever does they will not live to tell a story

But you ought to see what a lady doctor done to me one time.. it was a Q TIP and
Oh my lord


Luckily, the tests came back fine and I've been avoiding sex ever since
 
#17 ·
thanks florian , you just helped my diet ...

ive been trying to cut back more on eating ...was just thinking about haveing a second slice of pizza ....but ive rethought that .....

now to get this sour taste out of the back of my mouth ....contrary to popular belif it doesnt taste beatter the second time around ....
 
#18 ·
I'd have to say, any way you cut it, getting something stuck in your ass is not a desirable situation. Not looking forward to it. Hopefully by the time I need it, someone will have developed a less...invasive...method.

On further thought, if whoever doing it found it amusing in any way whatsoever, like the example of using two fingers and making a joke about a second opinion, I'd promptly defecate on them. Then we'll see who's amused.
 
#19 ·
I've had the Q-Tip and have been getting prostate exams since my mid 20s.. Fun, fun, fun.. No colonoscopy yet - but I hear it's not that bad anymore since you're basically "out" for the procedure... I think I'd have just let whatever was killing me go through with it before getting a procedure like that fully concious..

P.S. The Q-Tip is much worse...
 
#25 ·
Hahaha...live fast and die young. Avoid getting a finger up your butt.

Rolex...do you have that picture without the words on it? That would make an awesome computer background!
 
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