: Personal violation today....



Florian
03-23-06, 09:11 PM
:eek: Well, Im at that magic age where, when you go see your doctor, he wants to get to know your insides...from the backside. My doc is a personal friend of mine and I have dreaded this day for a long time...nothing quite like a childhood friend plunging his spidery fingers into your ass. So there I sit in my paper gown sweating bullets about what is about to transpire. The lube is placed on the counter, the rubber gloves snapped in place and those dreaded words "OK, Florian, turn around and put your elbows on the counter. I feel for you women who have to get your insides checked out, it isnt much fun. My douchebag friend doc didnt even warm the lube up...just jammed me full of chilly wetness. Funny part is, I had a huge lunch and as he was...uh, retracing his steps lets say...he got a nose full of burrito! Well, lets just say, we are still pals (maybe closer now than ever before) and it was embarrasing enough to get my guts probed by a pal, but the worst part was the snail trail up my pants from the goo that mustve seeped out! EWWW anal seepage...does it get any worse? So I had to go home and change my pants (and wash my ass to boot to get that slimey shizzle out of my now violated crack). :eek:

Just thought Id share with all my pals here.


F

DopeStar 156
03-23-06, 09:30 PM
I'm gonna see if there's a way around this particular exam.... Or a way to do it myself..... I haven't been to a doctor in....7 years? Haha.

Adam
03-23-06, 09:33 PM
:histeric: ahahahahaha, i havent laughed that hard in a long time. whew that was hilarious. sucks for you though. i talked with your doctor pal though and he said you scheduled another one for next week?


:eek: Well, Im at that magic age where, when you go see your doctor, he wants to get to know your insides...from the backside. My doc is a personal friend of mine and I have dreaded this day for a long time...nothing quite like a childhood friend plunging his spidery fingers into your ass. So there I sit in my paper gown sweating bullets about what is about to transpire. The lube is placed on the counter, the rubber gloves snapped in place and those dreaded words "OK, Florian, turn around and put your elbows on the counter. I feel for you women who have to get your insides checked out, it isnt much fun. My douchebag friend doc didnt even warm the lube up...just jammed me full of chilly wetness. Funny part is, I had a huge lunch and as he was...uh, retracing his steps lets say...he got a nose full of burrito! Well, lets just say, we are still pals (maybe closer now than ever before) and it was embarrasing enough to get my guts probed by a pal, but the worst part was the snail trail up my pants from the goo that mustve seeped out! EWWW anal seepage...does it get any worse? So I had to go home and change my pants (and wash my ass to boot to get that slimey shizzle out of my now violated crack). :eek:

Just thought Id share with all my pals here.


F

Florian
03-23-06, 09:34 PM
he said he had to stick in 2 fingers....cause the HMO wanted a second opinion. Its funny until that one the sticks in there feels like a bowling pin.

F

Adam
03-23-06, 09:38 PM
he said he had to stick in 2 fingers....cause the HMO wanted a second opinion. Its funny until that one the sticks in there feels like a bowling pin.

F

LOL! thats funny.

Ranger
03-23-06, 10:28 PM
I get that every year when I get a company physical. I told the physicians assisatant who does it that "I bet SHE brags to all her friends how she can lift a 200 lb. man off his feet with just one finger". Then commented how I hate this. She jokingly said, "It doesn't bother me at all". To which I responded, "Good, then you take off your pants and bend over this table". Come to think of it, I have a "date" with her next month. Ya had to remind me didn't you.

SpeedyArizona
03-23-06, 10:34 PM
I'm dreading that day, I also know my doctor well. We're pals and I couldn't imagine him sticking his fingers up my rear end! Oh well, it's 14 years off...

Rolex
03-23-06, 10:46 PM
he said he had to stick in 2 fingers....cause the HMO wanted a second opinion. Its funny until that one the sticks in there feels like a bowling pin.

F

The Stiffmeister recomends using 3 fingers. :thumbsup:


I had to get the back door exam end of last year. http://www.liquidninjas.com/bbs/images/smilies/plauder/poke.gif I went into the ER (as a patient) with some severe belly pains. This is the same ER I have to make regular visits to for consults (to treat patients), so having one of the cute lady physicians (I have to otherwise see face to face) "check my oil" really wasn't too pleasant. :rolleyes: If you live long enough it's going to happen though.

I'm sure your friend is a professional and won't ever make mention of "it" while you guys are golfing.

DILLIGAF
03-23-06, 10:52 PM
1 word,colonoscopy,untill you've had one of these you truely havn't been violated F.I have a vid if you want to see it LOL.I'm guessing you just had a prostate exam?Small potatoes.I laugh now but the night before the big C is pure helllll.They make you drink gallons of stuff that will make you go and go and go till you levitate off the toilet.Every 4 yrs guys after 40

DopeStar 156
03-23-06, 10:53 PM
Still hoping there's a way around this....... Haha, that just sounds worlds of unpleasant to me.....

DopeStar 156
03-23-06, 10:54 PM
1 word,colonoscopy,untill you've had one of these you truely havn't been violated F.I have a vid if you want to see it LOL.I'm guessing you just had a prostate exam?Small potatoes.I laugh now but the night before the big C is pure helllll.They make you drink gallons of stuff that will make you go and go and go till you levitate off the toilet.Every 4 yrs guys after 40
Hahahahaa!!! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that!

Rolex
03-23-06, 10:56 PM
OMG. This has become a pissing contest for who's had the worst anal violation. :histeric:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v305/rolex/hurrithread9ls0au.jpg

FredMaxwell
03-23-06, 11:08 PM
Well no one has ever violated my ass
And if anyone ever does they will not live to tell a story

But you ought to see what a lady doctor done to me one time.. it was a Q TIP and
Oh my lord


Luckily, the tests came back fine and I've been avoiding sex ever since

Jesda
03-23-06, 11:21 PM
LMFAO and ROFL and HAHAHAH!

gary88
03-23-06, 11:22 PM
I love being 17 and not having to put up with these things :dance:

DopeStar 156
03-23-06, 11:24 PM
put up
Heh heh heh.....

Stoneage_Caddy
03-23-06, 11:26 PM
thanks florian , you just helped my diet ...

ive been trying to cut back more on eating ...was just thinking about haveing a second slice of pizza ....but ive rethought that .....

now to get this sour taste out of the back of my mouth ....contrary to popular belif it doesnt taste beatter the second time around ....

Odin8
03-23-06, 11:33 PM
I'd have to say, any way you cut it, getting something stuck in your ass is not a desirable situation. Not looking forward to it. Hopefully by the time I need it, someone will have developed a less...invasive...method.

On further thought, if whoever doing it found it amusing in any way whatsoever, like the example of using two fingers and making a joke about a second opinion, I'd promptly defecate on them. Then we'll see who's amused.

Lord Cadillac
03-24-06, 12:01 AM
I've had the Q-Tip and have been getting prostate exams since my mid 20s.. Fun, fun, fun.. No colonoscopy yet - but I hear it's not that bad anymore since you're basically "out" for the procedure... I think I'd have just let whatever was killing me go through with it before getting a procedure like that fully concious..

P.S. The Q-Tip is much worse...

Jonas McFeely
03-24-06, 01:36 AM
OMG. This has become a pissing contest for who's had the worst anal violation. :histeric:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v305/rolex/hurrithread9ls0au.jpg

Coolest picture ever.

davesdeville
03-24-06, 06:21 AM
Dear God,
Please let medical technology advance a great deal in the next 22 years.
That is all.

Thank you.

Lord Cadillac
03-24-06, 08:13 AM
Dear God,
Please let medical technology advance a great deal in the next 22 years.
That is all.

Thank you.

You know how many times I say that? :D

Elvis
03-24-06, 09:46 AM
I don't even let anyone wag their finger in my FACE.



:tisk:

slk230mb
03-24-06, 11:17 AM
:tisk:

HAHAHA

Spyder
03-24-06, 12:10 PM
Hahaha...live fast and die young. Avoid getting a finger up your butt.

Rolex...do you have that picture without the words on it? That would make an awesome computer background!

JC316
03-24-06, 02:15 PM
Why bother doing it? You can say NO to a doctor and let me tell ya, thats a big fu*kin HELL NO for me.

Jesda
03-24-06, 02:29 PM
:tisk:

LMFAO!!! The Lounge hasnt been this funny in quite a while. :D

Jonas McFeely
03-24-06, 03:41 PM
You know how many times I say that? :D

wow,when i saw your new avatar and all the other stuff i was WTF there is some other wacky administartor on here that i never saw before,and then i was like ,oh,im dumb

FredMaxwell
03-24-06, 03:47 PM
I've had the Q-Tip and have been getting prostate exams since my mid 20s.. Fun, fun, fun.. No colonoscopy yet - but I hear it's not that bad anymore since you're basically "out" for the procedure... I think I'd have just let whatever was killing me go through with it before getting a procedure like that fully concious..

P.S. The Q-Tip is much worse...



Someone else felt my pain
And admitted it

It wasn't so painful now :)

chuckdobbins
03-24-06, 04:40 PM
heck, im only 21 and IVE had the backdoor violation. come to think of it, i was probably only 15 or 16 when i had it too.

needless to say i dont see the same doctor anymore

Elvis
03-24-06, 05:03 PM
Always make sure the doc only has ONE hand on your shoulder while he performs the "exam."

LittleB
03-24-06, 05:08 PM
Always make sure the doc only has ONE hand on your shoulder while he performs the "exam."

:histeric: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!! That just made me laugh so hard! If you think about it though...."it"" could still happen even with just one hand on your shoulder.....

DopeStar 156
03-24-06, 05:46 PM
Always make sure the doc only has ONE hand on your shoulder while he performs the "exam."
HAAAAAAHAHAHAH!!!!
Ohhhhh NO! LOL!

mccombie_5
03-24-06, 06:27 PM
I've been avoiding this thread, but now I read it.

Would you rather a friend do it than a complete stranger. Just imagine the situation in 10 years time. Sitting at a table with some friends.

"Hahaha Florian, remember when I put my finger in your ass"

*silence"

*everyone leaves*

illumina
03-24-06, 06:30 PM
Hehehehe; Cartman gets an anal probe!

mccombie_5
03-24-06, 06:35 PM
Hehehehe; Cartman gets an anal probe!

LMAO

Florian
03-24-06, 10:11 PM
Always make sure the doc only has ONE hand on your shoulder while he performs the "exam."
Yeah, he mentioned that there would be "a slight rocking motion...and that it should be over in about 2 minutes.." Not sure what that meant, but it sure felt like more than one finger....?


F

Florian
03-24-06, 10:12 PM
I've been avoiding this thread, but now I read it.

Would you rather a friend do it than a complete stranger. Just imagine the situation in 10 years time. Sitting at a table with some friends.

"Hahaha Florian, remember when I put my finger in your ass"

*silence"

*everyone leaves*


Makes that finger food a bit less tasty....
That would be a bit uncomfortable, but hey, its nothing a nice hug and a long deep kiss couldnt cure :eek:

F

ShadowLvr400
03-24-06, 10:54 PM
Done the Q-tip... Not fun at all. no finger probe from a doctor, and I think I'll just avoid that. Though you haven't known violation until you're tied to the bed, and your girl starts putting on a strap on. Not that I know or anything.

illumina
03-24-06, 11:00 PM
OK, I too suffered an anal probe by a doctor. It was when I enlisted into the Army...They wanted me to cough too...

ShadowLvr400
03-24-06, 11:10 PM
Actually, one doc did the anal probe on me... Course both his hands were on my shoulders as he checked my temperature. What the hell a dentist needs my temp for is beyond me...

Rolex
03-24-06, 11:24 PM
Hahaha...live fast and die young. Avoid getting a finger up your butt.

Rolex...do you have that picture without the words on it? That would make an awesome computer background!

Sorry bro can't help you there. I only have the pic as you see it, but you can try googling "wall cloud" to see what images or websites you can come up with.




Why bother doing it? You can say NO to a doctor and let me tell ya, thats a big fu*kin HELL NO for me.

The risk for colon cancer increases with age. Regular screening would allow you to catch the disease early and give you an excellent chance of survival. A finger in the arse, or a colonoscopy seems like a small price to pay for living.



Elvis the one hand on the shoulder thing.....:histeric: