These were posted as actual comments from police officers. I've never met one with this much panache.



#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPI C/NCIC.."

#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

Haha, those are good! I don't BS with the cops, just be straight forward and honest!

Cool...:thumbsup:

"I'm not as think as you drunk I am..Ociffer..."

Ive seen those quite a few times and they always give me a good laugh. On the gun forums Im on I talk to cops almost daily and some of them are some pretty funny characters. Its funny I used to really hate and fear cops (during my law breakin days, LOL) But now that I dont break any major laws anymore I respect them and enjoy talking to them.

Bah. I don't dick with cops either, but I do carry a little tape recorder incase they dick with me...

AHAHAHA those are great!

A B C D E F G H I J K MLNPO Q R S T U V W X Y Z. I know my alphabits!

#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
I just got told to shut up......