: Today's Physics Lesson from Professor Hare...

02-14-06, 06:07 PM
The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of existence of a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named *Governmentium*. Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

Governmentium does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration!. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.


There'll be a short quiz next period.


02-15-06, 05:25 PM
Governmentium sounds just the Supervisorium element found at my place of employment. :D Good one.

02-15-06, 05:34 PM
Or in poetic form:
The heaviest element as yet known
Undetected by science it has grown
Governmentium is its christened name
All over the world it is just the same

Its isotopes abound in different forms
Inertia remains their common norm
The structure's always heavy at the top
With morons as decorative backdrop

With passing time more morons reach the top
Alas! the process never ever stops
There is no half life of complete decay
Which defies theories much to our dismay

Its not clear how this element came to be
Though its effects are there for all to see
Every action within its reach is slowed down
Little molehills into mountains are blown

The morons do not last, they come and go
With flourishing steps GVNs variants flow
In time we hope for fission and lighter weight
With the death of GVN the future looks bright