A good friend of mine is currently going through an ugly divorce and to top it all off, last Friday afternoon he was laid off. His wife is a real ***** and finally he has enough sense to divorce her. They were both young when they got married (he was 22 and she was 19 if I recall) and they've been together for three years until a few weeks ago when she started abusing alcohol.

It all started about 4 months ago and has progressed to this level. I don't want to get into all the logistics of the situation, but lets say he doesn't like her breaking the windows of HIS (notice I didn't say their) house and she also broke the window of his car. They must've really "went at it" one night and all hell broke loose.

They have two kids together (both toddlers yet) and he wants custody since she is abusive and in my opinion, mentally unstable. He isn't wealthy either, and worked hard to provide a living for his family (she didn't work). And the worst part is that they don't have a pre-nup which entitles her to half of HIS money, house, car, etc. She never lifted a finger to even try to help pay the bills or anything!

Now his way of income is on-hold and he might lose half his stuff in a few weeks. I'm frustarted as to what I should do, I've offered to give him money, and after he rejected that, I offered to lend him money so he can pay it off when he's able without interest, but yet he refused. I know that he's a prideful person and doesn't like to accept charity, but he desperately needs it.

Any ideas as to what I can do to help him out when he needs it the most?

uhh well for starters, you could show him www.chucknorrisfacts.com for a good laugh!
but the best advice I can give is just to talk to him and be there for him and really give him a lot of support :)

I second IluvCaddys' post. The offer of money is generous but can make a man feel worthless by accepting it. Just continue to show support and lend an ear for him to vent when necessary. Only mention or offer monetary help if things progress to worse.

Tell him to fight like hell for those kids. I had an alcoholic for a mother and she became abusive when drunk. It makes for a real rough life and you never get to enjoy being a child and grow up real fast. Otherwise be a friend and lend him your ear to bitch and your shoulder to lean. That is what he will always remember.

sounds completely ugly. only the lawyers will win in this one.
totally hard fight to win custody from the wife, he'll need a great lawyer. the system is just biased.
the house under his name? i don't know how he can protect it from her, he can sell it, move in with you..
a big house, a car payment, any credit card debt are things he does not need...he needs to be in a small apartment with a cheap car til things improve.

buy him lots of beer and have a lot of fun times, like roadtrips, go meet some new women and stuff :)

It would make me feel better :)

Maybe you could do some reearch on what type of aid is available in your state for your friend. Tell him to swallow his pride and think of the kids. You can always work the approach that it was his taxes that made the aid available to those in need.
It goes without saying, try to get custody.

sounds completely ugly. only the lawyers will win in this one.
totally hard fight to win custody from the wife, he'll need a great lawyer. the system is just biased.
the house under his name? i don't know how he can protect it from her, he can sell it, move in with you..
a big house, a car payment, any credit card debt are things he does not need...he needs to be in a small apartment with a cheap car til things improve.

He doesn't have a big house, but it's a newer one. He bought it with the help of his parents, there is still a hefty mortgage on it. He drives a Ford Explorer, but it also has a few car payments left. The problem is that he no longer has a way to keep paying all these things (not to mention lawyers). I'd gladly take him in for a month or so until he gets his feet back on solid ground, but I can't (and I mean can't, not won't) have any toddlers in my condo, there just isn't enough room for all of us.

I don't know if he has any credit card debt or not, but I'm assuming he has a bit. I've also been told by a co-worker when I asked her opinion of the matter, to just stay out of it and let them feud. Just don't know what to do anymore...

It goes without saying, try to get custody.


That's what he's fighting for, there is NO way he's going to let that ***** get custody of his kids. I've had other friends get divorced, but their's wasn't half as bad as this one.

Noticing my lack of a wedding ring, praising God.

just lay back ,be his bud , let him do the talkin , and keep a vigilant eye on him in case his mental health and judgement shoudl start to falter , divorce is the most stressful thing someone can go thru ....Do you know what number 2 and 3 are ? Moving and looseing your job ..... im betting hes having to deal with all three at once .....it will be a true test of how strong his charcter is and how wear or strong his will is to keep going ....there aint much you can do ..

TAKE HIS PROBLEMS & HIS BITCH OFF HIS HANDS. GO NAIL HER & GET IT OVER WITH:worship: