: I Own A Lover's Lane!



mccombie_5
12-16-05, 06:37 PM
10pm, Friday evening, and what did I just have to do? Drive down the driveway and chase off some three couples in seperate cars that were going at it. Its getting slightly annoying, our driveway is a back lane, then there is the actualy driveway near the house, and it has turned into somewhat of a lovers lane recently, its quite annoying, especially if we have guests and on the way out they have to drive past four Ford Escorts bobbing up and down on the side of the lane.

Need to do something about this, anyone had a problem like this or similar?

Im going to put up some gates.

hardrockcamaro@mac.c
12-16-05, 06:46 PM
LOL!!!

Put a webcam there, set up a website and charge £5 membership.
You'll make a fortune.

Rolex
12-16-05, 06:48 PM
They do not have the right to privacy in a public place. I believe the webcam idea is a ringer!! :D

mccombie_5
12-16-05, 06:50 PM
Ive had that suggestion elsewhere too.

It istn a publice place, its private property, they are on MY LAND, which pisses me slightly, was thinking abotu going out with a pitchfork tied to a shotgun, farmer style:

"Gerrof Moi Laaaaand"

slk230mb
12-16-05, 06:59 PM
Personally, I think the whole situation is hilarious. But, yea the webcam seems like a good idea, plus you make extra cash.

mccombie_5
12-16-05, 07:06 PM
It is funny, but it has been embarrassing

LittleB
12-16-05, 07:32 PM
Oh that is just hilarious....go for the webcam idea!!! Or you could get signs made LOL

mccombie_5
12-16-05, 07:39 PM
Oh that is just hilarious....go for the webcam idea!!! Or you could get signs made LOL

If you are getting liad please go elsewhere

NOTE: you are on Camera, wave :D

LittleB
12-16-05, 07:40 PM
NOTE: you are on Camera, wave :D

:histeric: PERFECT!!!!!!!
:highfive: :thumbsup:

Boombotz
12-16-05, 08:06 PM
If you are getting liad please go elsewhere

NOTE: you are on Camera, wave :D

That is perfect!!!!:highfive:

mccombie_5
12-16-05, 08:15 PM
I might do that, I may not even have to buy the cameras, because the lane is concealed by hedges either side, i have nothing to mount them on,t he nearest one is on the gates themselves, and theyre about 1/4 of a mile away.

terrible one
12-16-05, 09:13 PM
You should just think up lots of ways to mess with them. Come out firing a gun into the air, put some signs up saying stuff like "warning, lovers will be shot", etc. Another really fun thing to do would be to plant spike strips where they usually park :)

ben72227
12-16-05, 09:15 PM
Warning: Your sex romp will be on the internet before you even leave this place:thumbsup:. Smile for the camera!:)

LittleB
12-16-05, 09:20 PM
Yeah that!!!!!

mccombie_5
12-16-05, 09:22 PM
You should just think up lots of ways to mess with them. Come out firing a gun into the air, put some signs up saying stuff like "warning, lovers will be shot", etc. Another really fun thing to do would be to plant spike strips where they usually park :)

I wish I could come out with a bloody gun

Spike strpis seem ideal, but we have 1/3 of a mile of 3ft wide verge with lights on it ever 20 yards, they love to knock down my lights too.

I plan to buy an old pickup truck and drive along and hit every one of the cars. They should stop.

I could put an electric gate at the end of the drive, but its on a main road, and I dont fancy having to wait in traffic for my gates to open, the hedges on either side are high, like this:

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c249/mccombie_5/Car%20Pictures%20-and%20other%20random%20crap%20i%20need%20to%20host/100_3845.jpg

mccombie_5
12-16-05, 09:23 PM
Warning: Your sex romp will be on the internet before you even leave this place:thumbsup:. Smile for the camera!:)
LMAO

terrible one
12-16-05, 09:34 PM
I LOVE THE PICKUP IDEA! It's your property! That would really teach 'em...and I like that the best because I've got a destructive mind, that and the spike strips...

Mbai2
12-16-05, 09:45 PM
I agree with the webcam idea! It's your property so you can do what you want. You'd definately make some cash. Better yet, compile a video and sell it on those late night infomercials like the girls gone wild guys did. They made a fortune and so can you!

Kev
12-17-05, 02:00 AM
The problem with the camera idea is that you will get the exhibitionists, they are the worst! You'll attract them with the signs about the cams!

This reminds me of one of the many jobs my Dad worked to get us by when I was a wee lad. He worked at the Drive In Theatre as a 'Necker-Checker'. He was very good at his job and he had a nack for timing. He'd wait till just the right moment and rap on the window interupting the two lovers just before they consumated their unbridaled lust for each other. Yep, there were quite a few frustrated couples on his watch. :eyebrow::banana:

terrible one
12-17-05, 02:07 AM
Hahaha...necker checker. I like that.

mccombie_5
12-17-05, 05:43 AM
The problem with the camera idea is that you will get the exhibitionists, they are the worst! You'll attract them with the signs about the cams!

This reminds me of one of the many jobs my Dad worked to get us by when I was a wee lad. He worked at the Drive In Theatre as a 'Necker-Checker'. He was very good at his job and he had a nack for timing. He'd wait till just the right moment and rap on the window interupting the two lovers just before they consumated their unbridaled lust for each other. Yep, there were quite a few frustrated couples on his watch. :eyebrow::banana:

LOL!!

Thats a worry with the cameras, plus id have to find somewhere to actually put them.

I was thinking about just calling the police but it seems like a terrible waste of police time jsut to shift a few back seat shaggers.

AI think its going to end up with two brick pillars about 15ft away from the road junction and a pair of nice wrought iron gates.

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c249/mccombie_5/Car%20Pictures%20-and%20other%20random%20crap%20i%20need%20to%20host/driveway.jpg

^ Plan of the aerea in question, the dark green "spray" represents the hedges, black and grey are roads, the rest is self explainitory

With somethign similar to these:

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c249/mccombie_5/Car%20Pictures%20-and%20other%20random%20crap%20i%20need%20to%20host/dovers50.jpg

Boombotz
12-17-05, 09:45 AM
Don't forgot a big M on the gate.

Jesda
12-17-05, 10:20 AM
That gate is a solid idea. Our neighborhood of four houses is considering one. People like to use our little street for U-turns, particularly our semicircle driveway. My mom stopped to look in the mailbox and had someone honk at her after backing out of OUR driveway while using it to turn around.

I~LUV~Caddys8792
12-17-05, 12:10 PM
Mccombie, I think you should just charge admission and advertise!! You'll make a million quid!

mccombie_5
12-17-05, 06:32 PM
Boombotz, the electronic ones nearer my house have a big M on each :D

I might just move them, but I like having the added security, would I seem big headed if I had two sets with monograms on them?

Jesda: that is a real pain in the arse, I get it alot, people drive along our driveway, buzz the friggin intercom on the gate and ask me where such and such is, its VERY annoying.

I have had the suggestion of charging, but ti really is humiliating for me, my guests must think I run the "McCombie back lane orgie":alchi:

I~LUV~Caddys8792
12-17-05, 06:41 PM
I have had the suggestion of charging, but ti really is humiliating for me, my guests must think I run the "McCombie back lane orgie":alchi:

LOL!

mccombie_5
12-17-05, 06:44 PM
LOL!

:thumbsup:

Elvis
12-17-05, 08:30 PM
I had the same problem a long time ago. I had to put in a gate too!

I had just finished building and moved into this house, and the carpet installation wasn't quite right. I left here at 7:50 one morning to go to work, and as soon as I walked into my office (7:57) the phone was ringing. It was the carpet guy, and he wanted to meet me at the house to fix the problem.

So I jump back into the car and head back home. I get there at 8:05, and there's a car backed into my driveway, secluded halfway up the hill. Nobody sitting in the driver's seat, but a young man was sitting in the passenger seat. Reclining. With his eyes closed.

I honk the horn, and a very attractive young lady's head popped up in the driver's seat. Not only did she drive the car there, she was blowing her passenger. I was single at the time. All I could think of was JEALOUSY!

I had them blocked in, so I walked up to the car to tell them not to come back. The girl wiped off her cheek and smiled at me. If that ain't insult AND injury, I don't know what is.

mccombie_5
12-17-05, 09:33 PM
It annoys the hell out of me, ebcause further down that road is another entrance to the land we're on, its only a dirt track, not proper tarmac like the main drive, but we used to get them on there, I put a wooden gate at the end of that road, no problems, but i rarely use that road, i just dont want my guests to have to stop on the main road to get into my proerty.
THe lane in question forks off once you get to the house, on the right tis the gate to my actual gardens, on the left the road continues about 400 yards and on it are vairious entrances to fields belonging to this house, they both have gates, the actual lane doesnt, and thats where they are stopping.
10ft high spikes that impale the cars might be a good thing, but overkill springs to mind.
Here is a quick paint diagram of the area, its actually soemthign I did for a reference at a meeting recently, concerning my new second drvieway for the barn conversion, so I dont have to have it accessed from my own driveway. But itl do
As you see we have the driveway at the top of the image, the fork is top middle, the driveway at the bottom in brown is the one that is unfinished, andd has a gate at the end, no problems there, there is a gate, i just dont want my guests to be sitting out on a main road whilst i open the gate for them....
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c249/mccombie_5/Car%20Pictures%20-and%20other%20random%20crap%20i%20need%20to%20host/aide1.jpg

Elvis
12-17-05, 10:55 PM
It's easy to wire in a key pad switch. Just give your visitors a security code that's good for one or two uses.

Have you looked into a solar-powered motor? It would save you having to run AC out there.

I~LUV~Caddys8792
12-17-05, 11:47 PM
Holy hell Mccombie, how big is your house and property?!?!?!
Is that red on your map your house?

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 08:33 AM
Solar, now that IS a good idea. The keypad things pretty good too, that could be done easily.

Chad, the red is the house, the brown are the original farm buildings, the old farm house being the one near the top, the newer red buildings are the later extensions and additions, the blue ones to the left are the incomplete garages, theys hould be done after Christmas, we alsoown some fields, remember this was a farm, so there is also a row of stables, and there used to be a milking shed (dairy) when I moved in, but we demolished it.

HotRodSaint
12-18-05, 11:38 AM
I'd post a sign stating all tresspassers will be shot, and I'd load a shot gun with blanks and fire off a few rounds each night.

Or better yet, strategically place hidden speakers near the area where they park, and play strange animal noises.

Or play tape of a police radio report of tresspassers, so it sounds like a police car is nearby.

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 11:43 AM
Unofrtunately its illegal to own a gun here, so thats me screwed there, I lo9ve the speaker idea, but 1/3 of a mile of speaker cable isnt going to be very easy.

I~LUV~Caddys8792
12-18-05, 11:43 AM
Mccombie, if you dont mind my asking, whats the square footage on your house? and the acreage on your land? Did you design the additions to the original farmhouse? When does that (original farmhouse) date back to?

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 11:54 AM
Exclusive of all the other buildings, the house is about 18,000 sq ft of living space, inclusive of attics and garges. I designed and built the extensions myself, and there are five of them, and the originalfarmhouse itself (and the barns) date back to the 1800s, we are inable to determine an exact year due to stone that had been used elsewhare, the original house was pretty small and basic

four rooms downstairs, four rooms upstairs, and an attic cabable of housing three rooms. We converted the first barn and added the biggest red extension, then added bits and pieces until we got to the way it is now.

I~LUV~Caddys8792
12-18-05, 12:03 PM
18,000 SQUARE FEET!!!!!!!!!! :SHOCKED2:
My parents house is like 2100 square feet!
Granted that includes garages and attics, but your house is 9x the size of mine!

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 12:09 PM
18,000 SQUARE FEET!!!!!!!!!! :SHOCKED2:
My parents house is like 2100 square feet!
Granted that includes garages and attics, but your house is 9x the size of mine!

Keep it quiet!

Some of the attics are used, some are rooms and some just sit empty, attatched to the house is a four car garage, plus one unfinished room, so it reduces it a bit.

kempie
12-18-05, 02:43 PM
Just post a sign:
KEEP OUT
TRESPASSERS WILL BE VIOLATED

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 02:46 PM
Just post a sign:
KEEP OUT
TRESPASSERS WILL BE VIOLATED

LOL! thats fantastic

FastCTS
12-18-05, 03:15 PM
If you go to far and cause injury or damage to them guess who gets in trouble. Put up no tresspassing signs, phony camera and motion detector lights.

Reminds me of the time I came up to a parked car at lover's lane. I turned on my red/blue lights, as I walked up to them it was obvious they were hot for each other. While talking with them I found out they were both 16 and they were just looking at the view. I ask them if the view looked better with his fly open because it was. After giving them a little advise on life I let them go. :cop:

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 03:22 PM
If you go to far and cause injury or damage to them guess who gets in trouble. Put up no tresspassing signs, phony camera and motion detector lights.

Reminds me of the time I came up to a parked car at lover's lane. I turned on my red/blue lights, as I walked up to them it was obvious they were hot for each other. While talking with them I found out they were both 16 and they were just looking at the view. I ask them if the view looked better with his fly open because it was. After giving them a little advise on life I let them go. :cop:

Ah an officer of the law, they wont get any damage done to them :snealy:

I just dont want them on the land, there is a sign at the end of the driveway that says "Private Property: Dead End"

But they ignore it.

I think If i put signs and lights up, then in the future some of those nice gates :yup:

Kev
12-18-05, 06:34 PM
How about this, post signs which read "Private Property - Trespassers Beware" Then, put in a nice flag pole if you haven't already, raise the Union Jack each morning along with any other flag you are akin to and in the evening when you strike the colors, acquire yourself a nice little canon from which you can fire a few rounds of blanks for proper salute. This way, you can keep them guessing and chock the whole deal up to patriotism.

Well? Whadaya think? :eyebrow:

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 06:38 PM
How about this, post signs which read "Private Property - Trespassers Beware" Then, put in a nice flag pole if you haven't already, raise the Union Jack each morning along with any other flag you are akin to and in the evening when you strike the colors, acquire yourself a nice little canon from which you can fire a few rounds of blanks for proper salute. This way, you can keep them guessing and chock the whole deal up to patriotism.

Well? Whadaya think? :eyebrow:

LOL

I wish that could work!

I dont actually have a flagpole :hmm:

Kev
12-18-05, 06:40 PM
LOL

I wish that could work!

I dont actually have a flagpole :hmm:Well, put one in if you like the idea! I could help you with the design if you need..... :duck: :p

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 06:44 PM
Well, put one in if you like the idea! I could help you with the design if you need..... :duck: :p

LOL

I wish they would let me fire a cannon :D

Flagpoles here tend to only be on castles, schools, hotels, holiday camps, and public buildings

Kev
12-18-05, 06:48 PM
Maybe you could get a dummy canon and use a nice loud bull horn with a canon sound effect? Hey, that's it! Just get a nice loud bull horn with some good firefight effects, that should scare them off eh? :cool:

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 06:50 PM
Maybe you could get a dummy canon and use a nice loud bull horn with a canon sound effect? Hey, that's it! Just get a nice loud bull horn with some good firefight effects, that should scare them off eh? :cool:

LMAO

I was thinking about getting a pickup truck and driving along knocking off their wing mirrors

Kev
12-18-05, 06:57 PM
LMAO

I was thinking about getting a pickup truck and driving along knocking off their wing mirrorsOK, how about this. Get the old pickup, install the bull horn on it and as you are pummeling down the drive, wreaking havoc upon the mirrors voice the following announcement;

“This is private property. You are trespassing. Public fornicating is not allowed here and will not be tolerated. Cease and desist from all sexual activity and kindly remove yourselves from the premises!”

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 07:00 PM
OK, how about this. Get the old pickup, install the bull horn on it and as you are pummeling down the drive, wreaking havoc upon the mirrors voice the following announcement;

“This is private property. You are trespassing. Public fornicating is not allowed here and will not be tolerated. Cease and desist from all sexual activity and kindly remove yourselves from the premises!”

LMAO!!!!!

THat would be fantastic!!!

I want one!

Unfortunately its likely to end up with a set of nice gates and a no trespassing sign :(

Elvis
12-18-05, 07:00 PM
I'd post a sign stating all tresspassers will be shot, and I'd load a shot gun with blanks and fire off a few rounds each night.
.

Blanks? Why blanks? Are you that cheap? ;)

Kev
12-18-05, 07:04 PM
Unfortunately its likely to end up with a set of nice gates and a no trespassing sign :(That would be the classy alternative to be sure. :thumbsup: :highfive:
Not nearly as much fun but the neighbors might better appreciate that choice.

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 07:05 PM
That would be the classy alternative to be sure. :thumbsup: :highfive:
Not nearly as much fun but the neighbors might better appreciate that choice.
What neighbours :p

Kev
12-18-05, 07:10 PM
What neighbours :pWell, in that case... you've got to think to yourself. WWBD?
(What Would Benny Do?)
http://images.art.com/images/products/large/10101000/10101568.jpg

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 07:13 PM
LOL

Hmmmm

They arent there tonight, and its 11pm, we usually end up with them on Fridays and Saturdays

I~LUV~Caddys8792
12-18-05, 07:39 PM
Keep it quiet!
Some of the attics are used, some are rooms and some just sit empty, attatched to the house is a four car garage, plus one unfinished room, so it reduces it a bit.
Oh sorry :o

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 07:43 PM
Oh sorry :o

I was joking, just dont change your name to it :D

We are currently in talks with a housebuilder about selling a portion of the land to build a road to a new development, i doubt they will meet our figure

I~LUV~Caddys8792
12-18-05, 07:49 PM
Change my name to it, lol

What part of england are you in? I was over there in august of '03, visiting my aunt and uncle and their sons down in Windsor. It was very nice, I could walk up to the Windsor Castle in 20 minutes from their house. It was a very nice country, a big change from the US. Everything is smaller in the UK (except some of your cars :D ) I was down in Exmouth too at their flat on the sea.

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 08:05 PM
Change my name to it, lol

What part of england are you in? I was over there in august of '03, visiting my aunt and uncle and their sons down in Windsor. It was very nice, I could walk up to the Windsor Castle in 20 minutes from their house. It was a very nice country, a big change from the US. Everything is smaller in the UK (except some of your cars :D ) I was down in Exmouth too at their flat on the sea.

Im right the way up in the North East, about 400 miles from where you were.

The South is beautiful, the North More so. But I would say that. HardRockCamaro would tell you different :p

This is a view near to my office, taken recently as part of my sons photography work, but he later discarded it to change his brief, a beautiful picture nonetheless.

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c249/mccombie_5/Photography%20-%20Non%20College/quays017.jpg

Sorry for the hugeness of the picture

I~LUV~Caddys8792
12-18-05, 08:44 PM
yeah 'tis a nice view, is that on the Thames?

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 08:49 PM
yeah 'tis a nice view, is that on the Thames?

Nope, thats the Tyne, not far from where I live, the bridge ti was taken from is a stunning piece of design.

Gateshead Millenium Bridge. Also known as the blinking eye bridge.

http://www.gateshead.gov.uk/bridge/background.htm

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c249/mccombie_5/Photography%20-%20Non%20College/Quayside%202/quays001.jpg

Fantastic piece of engineering, we're very proud of that riverside up here.

Stoneage_Caddy
12-18-05, 08:51 PM
What you should do (since i think its on your property) is when they start that shit go out naked and tap on there windows asking to join ....soon enough the rumor of the "naked man on the hill" will cirulate , and the "parking" will stop ...

Or you will have just opend the largest gaybar in the UK ....it could go either way ....It will surely end the hetro "parking" tho .....

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 08:55 PM
What you should do (since i think its on your property) is when they start that shit go out naked and tap on there windows asking to join ....soon enough the rumor of the "naked man on the hill" will cirulate , and the "parking" will stop ...
Or you will have just opend the largest gaybar in the UK ....it could go either way ....It will surely end the hetro "parking" tho .....

LMAO
It could work!

THats hilarious!

Stoneage_Caddy
12-18-05, 09:01 PM
I can fix any problem anywhere .....Its just a matter of finding the "tool" for the job ....In this case exposeing "it" will do just fine

KOBO
12-18-05, 09:04 PM
what did I just have to do? Drive down the driveway and chase off some three couples in seperate cars that were going at it.
Need to do something about this, anyone had a problem like this or similar?


Gates might be nice, but would it be a nuiscence to have to go out and open them on those lovely wet days you brits have?

Are they parked along side the road or in open areas? Would it be possible to put large dark boulders or the like in those areas, they could be decorated with flowers around them, etc. Of course, if they remain dark the first time the cars try to park there could also be the last time <crunch>

K

I~LUV~Caddys8792
12-18-05, 09:07 PM
What you should do (since i think its on your property) is when they start that shit go out naked and tap on there windows asking to join ....soon enough the rumor of the "naked man on the hill" will cirulate , and the "parking" will stop ...

Or you will have just opend the largest gaybar in the UK ....it could go either way ....It will surely end the hetro "parking" tho .....


LOL!!!! :histeric:
That reminds me of that one time at my high school when some man knocked on the window of this girl's car and whipped it out, asked her to finish him off!!!

Needless to say, he didnt get what he wanted!

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 09:09 PM
Gates might be nice, but would it be a nuiscence to have to go out and open them on those lovely wet days you brits have?

Are they parked along side the road or in open areas? Would it be possible to put large dark boulders or the like in those areas, they could be decorated with flowers around them, etc. Of course, if they remain dark the first time the cars try to park there could also be the last time <crunch>

K


It could be, but the driveway is about 1/4 of a mile long, so id need 1/4 of a mile of boulders, they stop ont he verge, there is only a verge on one side.

The gates, as mentioned could be electronic, like the set next to the house, but it seems a bit extreme to run cables down there, Elvis mentioned solar power, which could work, but if i put an intercom on the gate I would have to run cables along there anyway.

mccombie_5
12-18-05, 09:10 PM
LOL jsut read your post Stoney, i think "it" would work plenty!