: I hate poodles.



Jesda
12-02-05, 09:09 PM
Seriously, what a worthless animal, and hardly a dog. Our neighbors have a pair of white ones that use our yard EXCLUSIVELY as their toilet. Never seen them crap on the neighbor's lawn, but ours is apparently the dumping ground of preference.

Sometimes if I leave the garage open, they'll rip open garbage sacks and chew on our golf bags. Whats worse is they aren't even afraid of us. I can yell, jump, stomp, and even spray the hose and they'll continue to stand there BARKING as if I'm on THEIR turf. Little *****s.

Now, lets say there's this clumsy brown guy, we'll call him Wesda, who always uses a silver Razor Scooter to go out and get the mail. Lets say Wesda hits a bump in the driveway, flies forward five feet, and lands on his side. If Wesda's neighbors had a labrador, it would come over and check on him out of genuine concern, licking his face as he moans in agony, then alerting his owner about the situation. But no, WESDA'S NEIGHBORS HAVE STUPID FARKING POODLES.

The two little *****s ran over and barked at me like I just fell on their sacred grounds. One started chewing on the cuff of my jeans while the other, less than two feet from my face, barked in my left ear. The neighbors, who were spiffily dressed and getting into a white Lincoln limousine, casually sauntered over and asked if I was okay and shooed their dogs.

If those two worthless cottonballs want war, ITS ON! Dont blame me if I accidentally spill antifreeze in the street.

thu
12-02-05, 09:20 PM
I can't stand most small dogs. They're not real dogs, I call them cats and as such, they deserve a good swift kicking.

Next time they enter your garage, you might 'accidentally' close the garage door and go on a four day trip. :)

illumina
12-02-05, 10:44 PM
Jesda, if you'd like to solve the problem, might I suggest getting a pack of bottle rockets and shooting them at the Poodles?

I know nothing about whether or not this works...:leaving:

HotRodSaint
12-02-05, 10:44 PM
Poodles are French, enough said...

Kev
12-03-05, 01:32 AM
I heard Stuart Hamblen tell a story about living next door to John Wayne.

Wayne’s little Hispanic wife had a little toy poodle who liked to tear up Hamblen’s wife’s flower garden. One day Hamblen had enough and shot the little beast with his BB gun. The pooch yapped all the way home, Wayne’s wife came over to chew Hamblen out saying; “You jes wait till de Duke get home, he gonna take care ob you!”

Wayne comes home that evening and doesn’t get half way up the walk before his wife comes out yelling and gesturing her story. Wayne saunters over to Hamblen’s house, knocks on the door, Hamblen opens it;

“Evenin Stuart.”

“Hello John.”

“You shoot my dog with a BB gun?”

“Yup.”

“Whatsamatter, don’t you have a shotgun?”

DopeStar 156
12-03-05, 02:45 AM
Next time you see it happen go outside and punt the dog back on their lawn. As small as they are, Poodles can fly pretty far when punted.....

Krashed989
12-03-05, 04:05 AM
Isn't there leash laws? Try to get them to bite your arm off, then sue the crap out of the owners! LOL :D

mccombie_5
12-03-05, 04:13 AM
My wife has a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, its a small dog, but they are very well natured, when we walk her, we often see a poodle, and it is very aggressive towards us and our dog, but my three Gordon Setters deal with this well.

I have a suggestion, every time one of the dogs shits in your lawn, shovel it into a brown paper bag, go knock on the neighbours door and drop it in the hall.

We had neighbours who had cats that used to shit in our gravel driveway, i told him if his cats shit in my drive he had better pick it up. I did this, and from then on he did, well, until i went outside one morning to find his cats on the cage of my son's rabbit. The rabbit was dead, it was petrified. His cats died that day too.

urbanski
12-03-05, 07:20 AM
pellet gun?

Elvis
12-03-05, 10:18 AM
Get a pooper scooper and fling the shit back onto their driveway every time. Dogs should be fenced or supervised. Turn the hose on them if they get after you.

I had a poodle growing up and he was nothing like that at all. Just a good-natured dog who loved everybody.

SilverCTS
12-03-05, 10:56 AM
One of these might help.
http://www.manbir-online.com/snakes/python.htm

Rolex
12-04-05, 02:51 PM
Poodles are EVIL. :lildevil:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v305/rolex/viciouspoodle.jpg

I recommend ice cubes and a sling shot. :sneaky:


ETA: the evidence melts away.

thu
12-04-05, 09:54 PM
I recommend ice cubes and a sling shot. :sneaky:
ETA: the evidence melts away.

Speaking of using ice as ammo.

I remember seeing a movie when I was a kid. An assasin is on a rooftop, target is coming in a limo down the street.

Assassin puts together his sniper rifle, complete with scope.

Limo stops in front of building.

Assassin opens an insulated little case and inside are two bullets made of ICE attached to two brass shells.

Assassin takes out bullets, loads rifle.

Target gets out of limo and begins to walk into hotel.

Assassin lines up target in scope and pulls trigger....and fires again.

Target hits the ground, dead.

Assassin packs up and leaves in a big hurry.

Bullets cannot be traced since they melt in a few minutes and cannot be traced to the gun that fired it.

Interesting....would an ice bullet even make it out of the barrel? Maybe, if it was insulated enough from the burning powder.

I know this is in the realm of science fiction, but it would be interesting to think about. Not the assassination part, but the ballistics part.

Hmmmm.....

TomDeville
12-04-05, 10:33 PM
Hi Everyone:

The owners warrant the most blameworthiness,
and sound like A**holes for permitting the
ongoing problems.
Nonetheless, as HRS mentioned poodles
are French. ...
Consequently, they are more likely to
offend and annoy.
Nonetheless, the French do drink and dine well.
Speaking of food; Jesda should kidnap the little
bastards; and, tie them up in front of a Korean
Restaurant. Drop by the next day and see if
some semblance of 'Poodles with Noodles' is the
special on the menu.:thepan:

Best Regards,

TomDeville:cool2:
:cool2: :cool2:

mccombie_5
12-05-05, 12:15 PM
I have heard ice bullets do actually work...

DopeStar 156
12-05-05, 12:33 PM
Speaking of using ice as ammo.
I remember seeing a movie when I was a kid. An assasin is on a rooftop, target is coming in a limo down the street.
Assassin puts together his sniper rifle, complete with scope.
Limo stops in front of building.
Assassin opens an insulated little case and inside are two bullets made of ICE attached to two brass shells.
Assassin takes out bullets, loads rifle.
Target gets out of limo and begins to walk into hotel.
Assassin lines up target in scope and pulls trigger....and fires again.
Target hits the ground, dead.
Assassin packs up and leaves in a big hurry.
Bullets cannot be traced since they melt in a few minutes and cannot be traced to the gun that fired it.
Interesting....would an ice bullet even make it out of the barrel? Maybe, if it was insulated enough from the burning powder.
I know this is in the realm of science fiction, but it would be interesting to think about. Not the assassination part, but the ballistics part.
Hmmmm.....

:lildevil:

Playdrv4me
12-05-05, 01:36 PM
Mythbusters tried the Ice bullet thing... It didnt work.

thu
12-05-05, 01:51 PM
Mythbusters tried the Ice bullet thing... It didnt work.

I wish I could get that channel. I don't get cable at all.

Playdrv4me
12-05-05, 01:54 PM
They might have it on their website, which I havent ever visited. I cant recall clearly if the problem was with the bullets themselves not being able to hold together properly, or if they were just shattering on impact and not getting beyond about the first layer of skin, but they did say it was busted.

Krashed989
12-05-05, 04:30 PM
Yeah I saw that episode. They even tried it with a frozen peice of meat, and that worked a little better than the ice bullet, but the ice bullet shattered into a mist as it left the barrel, or broke shortly after freezing it. Myth Busted!

thu
12-05-05, 04:45 PM
Yeah I saw that episode. They even tried it with a frozen peice of meat, and that worked a little better than the ice bullet, but the ice bullet shattered into a mist as it left the barrel, or broke shortly after freezing it. Myth Busted!

That would make sense. If a sniper bullet travels at more than 3000 ft/sec, you'd have some pretty tremendous heating due to air friction and from contact with the barrel.

Adding a sabot around the ice bullet to prevent contact with the barrel might help, but as soon as it hit the air and the sabot fell away, you'd have some pretty good heating.

Elvis
12-05-05, 05:51 PM
I hate to throw a wet blanket on this, but please, nobody should go out and hurt a dog.

There are no bad dogs, just bad owners.

mccombie_5
12-05-05, 05:56 PM
I hate to throw a wet blanket on this, but please, nobody should go out and hurt a dog.
There are no bad dogs, just bad owners.

Cats ok then? :D

Yeah, thats a good point Elvis.
Jesda - shoot the owners

Playdrv4me
12-05-05, 06:23 PM
I hate to throw a wet blanket on this, but please, nobody should go out and hurt a dog.
There are no bad dogs, just bad owners.

Booooo!!! :p

Hehe... just kiddin, thats very true.

DopeStar 156
12-05-05, 07:01 PM
Cats ok then? :D
NO CATS!!!!
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y250/DopeStar156/Balsac/balsac3.jpg

I'm sure the ice bullet could work if you used a different liquid or something. I'm sure it could work.

mccombie_5
12-05-05, 07:06 PM
Oh no i see a cat lover

What if i sent my dog to shit in your driveway :p and what if it accidentally eats your cat? :halo: :lildevil:

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c249/mccombie_5/Car%20Pictures%20-and%20other%20random%20crap%20i%20need%20to%20host/OscarGarden3.jpg

j/k Dope!

DopeStar 156
12-05-05, 07:19 PM
Oh no i see a cat lover
What if i sent my dog to shit in your driveway :p and what if it accidentally eats your cat? :halo: :lildevil:
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c249/mccombie_5/Car%20Pictures%20-and%20other%20random%20crap%20i%20need%20to%20host/OscarGarden3.jpg
j/k Dope!
I'd have to then show you the last thing your dog would ever see....

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y250/DopeStar156/1989%20Fleetwood%20Brougham/caddynewfront.jpg

Haha, of course, J/K. I hit a dog with my Lincoln one night....I felt awful....Worst part was, I only hit it's head...with the bumper.....Everything else I missed......

mccombie_5
12-06-05, 03:46 AM
I'd have to then show you the last thing your dog would ever see....
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y250/DopeStar156/1989%20Fleetwood%20Brougham/caddynewfront.jpg
Haha, of course, J/K. I hit a dog with my Lincoln one night....I felt awful....Worst part was, I only hit it's head...with the bumper.....Everything else I missed......

LOL!!

Yeah, I've hit a dog before, I feel less guilty if I hit a fox or something, vermin, but someones dog is never good. I was driving the old 97 540i. It did surprising damage to the car, it needed a newe grille, front bumper, and headlight, poor dog didn't make it, I put it straigth in the car and took it to the nearest vet. They told me she was an ill dog anyway. They couldnt find the owner since she wasnt identichipped

Jesda
12-06-05, 06:29 AM
I hit a lot of cats, a black one recently on Black Friday. I'm afraid to look under the car to clean it out. I'll just hope its bits stayed on the road and didnt splatter all over the underside of my Maxima.

RobertCTS
12-06-05, 09:56 AM
All those "Toy Breeds" suck! Yappers with a shortness complexes. The full size Poodle can get up to 90 lbs. Jesda you should be happy this dog isn't dropping giant turds in your yard!!

http://usera.imagecave.com/BobsWork/poodle_large.jpg

RobertCTS
12-06-05, 12:15 PM
Cats are so stupid that they are funny!!!
http://trump.mediafetcher.com/content/animalplanet_catsworld.wmv (http://trump.mediafetcher.com/content/animalplanet_catsworld.wmv)

DopeStar 156
12-06-05, 03:01 PM
I hit that dog with the chrome bumper. I just hit the head though because that's all that was in the path of my Lincoln. The head exploded and liquified. I had skull and brains all over my headlights, hood, and windshield. A month later I found teeth under my wipers..... Yeah.....I didn't bother taking the headless body to the vet. I'm confident it didn't feel anything though. That made me feel ok about.

RobertCTS
12-06-05, 03:39 PM
I hit that dog with the chrome bumper. I just hit the head though because that's all that was in the path of my Lincoln. The head exploded and liquified. I had skull and brains all over my headlights, hood, and windshield. A month later I found teeth under my wipers..... Yeah.....I didn't bother taking the headless body to the vet. I'm confident it didn't feel anything though. That made me feel ok about.

I DID THAT WITH A CAT. THE POP WAS SURPRISINGLY LOUD.:crying2:

RobertCTS
12-07-05, 08:58 AM
BIG DOGS RULE!! TINY DOGS SUCK! (I love this Shot!)

http://usera.imagecave.com/BobsWork/myball.jpg

Elvis
12-07-05, 02:32 PM
Oh no i see a cat lover
What if i sent my dog to shit in your driveway :p and what if it accidentally eats your cat? :halo: :lildevil:
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c249/mccombie_5/Car%20Pictures%20-and%20other%20random%20crap%20i%20need%20to%20host/OscarGarden3.jpg
j/k Dope!

I can tell by looking, that dog wouldn't kill a cat. ;)

mccombie_5
12-07-05, 02:34 PM
I can tell by looking, that dog wouldn't kill a cat. ;)

Youre right Elvis, that dog wouldnt kill a fly. I have a family, hes a family dog. He did accidentally kill a bird but he thought it was his ball!

:cool2:

Elvis
12-07-05, 02:38 PM
Youre right Elvis, that dog wouldnt kill a fly. I have a family, hes a family dog. He did accidentally kill a bird but he thought it was his ball!
:cool2:

Probably very apologetic afterward, too.

I know the look of a killer. That's a 75-pound lap dog, right?

mccombie_5
12-07-05, 02:40 PM
Probably very apologetic afterward, too.
I know the look of a killer. That's a 75-pound lap dog, right?

Damn right!

He'll come and lay on the couch when you are on it and rest his head on your knee!

These dogs are very good natured, and he will protect my family, he gets very cautious of my daughters boyfriends and has to "vette" them!

Elvis
12-07-05, 02:44 PM
He looks like he has some spaniel in him?

Or is he a purebred I don't recognize?

mccombie_5
12-07-05, 02:48 PM
He looks like he has some spaniel in him?
Or is he a purebred I don't recognize?

Close, hes a Gordon setter. Hes a purebread, like a black Irish setter, very beautiful dogs, rare too. Instead of being "Irish" hes Scottish. We also used to have an English setter, and three springer spaniels. All of these dogs are fromt he same family :yup:

I love ma' dawgs

Elvis
12-07-05, 02:56 PM
After I posted that, I thought "Irish Setter mix" so I wasn't too far off.

I've had three Springer Spaniels, and they're the best dogs in the world. The first one lived 13.5 years, the second one had "Springer Rage" and I had to put him down young, but the third one lived 14.5 years. I may never get over her.

http://img116.imageshack.us/img116/3761/p00011366dw.jpg

mccombie_5
12-07-05, 03:01 PM
They really are great family dogs. My last Gordon that died thought he was a springer. He used to let my wife's King Charles Cavalier hang from his ear while he walked

RobertCTS
12-07-05, 03:05 PM
I had a black Sharpei. A Chinese pit bull of sorts. They don't bleed when you cut them. I also have a black alley cat(female). Well my mean ass dog, Black Jack, always wanted a piece of my cat, Preacher. Three times he attacked the cat. Each time he would come back with torn skin and cat claws in his nose. The dog never learned. He eventually hung himself on his leash. A fitting end for the dog from Hell. We cremated Jack and I have his remains in a small cedar box. I now tell friends that he is now a "Jack in the Box". Quit laughing..this is a true story.

Elvis
12-07-05, 03:24 PM
We have the cremated remains of three dogs on one of my mantles. People think we're strange.

RobertCTS
12-07-05, 03:33 PM
We have the cremated remains of three dogs on one of my mantles. People think we're strange.

And when they die my wife says, "That's it!! No more damn pet!"
She so emotional! You bring another puppy home and she says, "Take it back"! I tell her I understand but she has to take it back.

mccombie_5
12-07-05, 03:39 PM
And when they die my wife says, "That's it!! No more damn pet!"
She so emotional! You bring another puppy home and she says, "Take it back"! I tell her I understand but she has to take it back.

As long as we live we will have dogs!

My wife and her friends love all of ours!

hardrockcamaro@mac.c
12-07-05, 04:53 PM
I wouldn't want to run over an animal, although I wouldn't be stupid enough to drive into a tree to avoid one as so many people do, thus killing themselves.

I was driving home one evening last week, and I turned into the side street where my car is parked and there was what looked like a white paper bag in the middle of the road. As I got to within feet of it it turned out it was some sort of animal and it decided to run form the middle of the road (where I would not have hit it) to one of the houses, crossing my path.
I pretty much STOOD on the brakes and the Caddy nose dived to an instant stop.
With a sinking heart I got out of the car and found a small black and white kitten about 3 inches from one of my front tyres staring at it in frozen shock. Shooed the poor thing out of the way and it shot towards a house.



As for the ice bullet thing, reminds me of something:


The Royal Air Force has a unique device for testing the strength of the cockpit glass on aeroplanes.
The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windscreen at approximately the speed the plane flies.
The theory is that if the glass doesn't crack from the carcass impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird during flight.

It seems the French were very interested in this and wanted to test a windscreen on a brand new fighter jet they're developing.
They borrowed the RAF's chicken launcher, loaded the chicken and fired.

The ballistic chicken shattered the glass, broke the pilots chair and embedded itself in the back wall of the cockpit.
The French were stunned and asked the RAF to recheck the test to see if everything was done correctly.

The RAF reviewed the test thoroughly and had one recommendation:

"Defrost the chicken"

RobertCTS
12-07-05, 05:00 PM
I wouldn't want to run over an animal, although I wouldn't be stupid enough to drive into a tree to avoid one as so many people do, thus killing themselves.

I was driving home one evening last week, and I turned into the side street where my car is parked and there was what looked like a white paper bag in the middle of the road. As I got to within feet of it it turned out it was some sort of animal and it decided to run form the middle of the road (where I would not have hit it) to one of the houses, crossing my path.
I pretty much STOOD on the brakes and the Caddy nose dived to an instant stop.
With a sinking heart I got out of the car and found a small black and white kitten about 3 inches from one of my front tyres staring at it in frozen shock. Shooed the poor thing out of the way and it shot towards a house.



As for the ice bullet thing, reminds me of something:


The Royal Air Force has a unique device for testing the strength of the cockpit glass on aeroplanes.
The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windscreen at approximately the speed the plane flies.
The theory is that if the glass doesn't crack from the carcass impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird during flight.

It seems the French were very interested in this and wanted to test a windscreen on a brand new fighter jet they're developing.
They borrowed the RAF's chicken launcher, loaded the chicken and fired.

The ballistic chicken shattered the glass, broke the pilots chair and embedded itself in the back wall of the cockpit.
The French were stunned and asked the RAF to recheck the test to see if everything was done correctly.

The RAF reviewed the test thoroughly and had one recommendation:

"Defrost the chicken"

Interesting post! Now we know where KFC gets their Chickens, don't we.