: Adopting a kid



SpeedyArizona
11-26-05, 04:56 PM
I've thought about this for a while, and just wanted to see what everyone thought (not that your opinion counts). I'm getting older now, and always wanted to have a kid, the problem is that I DO NOT want to get married. I'm a very independent person, and like to do things without telling someone or asking their permission.

I have a few friends that are married and have great kids, and I'm a bit envious :cookoo: (not that the bachelor life is bad). I think having a child would be a great life-changing experience and I want someone to carry on my name.

One reason that I don't want to get married is because a buddy of mine was married for 1 1/2 years and then filed for divorce. His wife was a heavy drinker and he felt unsafe living with her. But the problem was that he never took the time to get a prenup and was married fairly young (22). He was wealthy though, he started a very sucessful business and worked nearly 90 hours a week trying to improve it, but his lazy wife did NOTHING. When he ended the marriage, his *** of a wife got half of everything he worked so hard for.

I want a child that I could take care of and watch grow up. I want to be a parent that helps his child suceed in life and become something. The problem is that I'm still a bit unsure of taking this leap. The financial responsibility isn't the problem, but it's the responsibility that makes me re-think it.

I'm still a bit of a kid myself, but just wanted to tell everyone about this. What does everyone think

mccombie_5
11-26-05, 05:10 PM
I have alot of respect for anyone who adopts a child. Its a very noble and great thing to do.

It would be nice to hear that you did

Caddy Man
11-26-05, 05:38 PM
Im not sure if you not being married will make a difference. Its not easy to adopt and adoption agencies are VERY anal about all kinds of stuff. And im sure they might be anal about a single parent househld.

Elvis
11-26-05, 05:43 PM
I'm 100% for it.

Some friends recently adopted a two-year-old Ukranian girl. They literally went to hell and back to get her. I think it cost them something like $25,000. She's a beautiful little girl.

SpeedyArizona
11-26-05, 05:53 PM
Im not sure if you not being married will make a difference. Its not easy to adopt and adoption agencies are VERY anal about all kinds of stuff. And im sure they might be anal about a single parent househld.

I know, adoption agency's go over every single aspect of your lives. I have a clean record except for a few speeding tickets. The financial end should be easy enough to pass. The single parent household would be the hardest, but I'm sure it's possible.

Again, I won't be doing this (if I do decide upon it) for a few years.

Elvis
11-26-05, 05:54 PM
Time and "backup" is the problem for men.

Kev
11-26-05, 06:12 PM
Adoption is a beautiful and noble thing. My opinion is that it is much better for children to have both a mother and father living and loving together in the same home. Now I know that our society has become so screwed up that this is becoming the exception rather than the norm. There are so many broken homes and disfunctional families that it's gone beyond a tragic pandemic.

The bottom line is this, can you provide the time and energy for an emotionally and spiritually healthy upbringing for a child?

(I say this as the husband in a sound and loving relationship, the father of two and surrogate father of my niece and it is HARD for both my wife and myself. I can't immagine how difficult it would be to try and do it all alone.)

If you can honestly answer that in the affirmative and you believe in your heart that this would be the right thing for the child first and secondly for you then you should continue to persue the idea.

SpeedyArizona
11-26-05, 06:41 PM
There are things that I'd probably should or need to give up for this child. I do smoke cigars every-so-often, and I usually go out later on Saturday evenings and return at 1 a.m. or so. I would have to find a babysitter or have to stay home. I'm not an addicted smoker, so I would be able to give that up.

I also have a full-time job, so I would HAVE to find a daycare for those hours. My condo is 2 bedroom, but it's also a bit small, made for a bachelor.

I feel that I could raise him well, I know I enjoyed my upbringing with my father.

I'm still on the fence, but it's just a thought at the moment, nothing too serious.

ben72227
11-26-05, 06:56 PM
I'd say wait for awhile. When you're about 30-32, past your twenties, then you should adopt. And also, I think you should get married (mainly because it's better to have two parents raise a child, and its easier too for you all, plus, lik e Kev said, I'm old-school - I prefer two parent families...)

Also, remember, adopting is expensive, especially if you want a health baby. Race plays a factor as well; white babies cost much more than minority babies. My advice - get an Asian girl, from Laos or China or Burma or Vietnam, then she will be super smart and make you real proud to know you have a genius for a daughter...

But yeah, its a huge responsibility to have a kid, and I take my hat off to anyone that has the patience and courage to adopt...But, I think you should wait a few more years, and I think you should have a partner to help raise the child. Kids need a mom to nurture them, and a father to raise them...:thumbsup:

mccombie_5
11-26-05, 07:36 PM
White babies COST more?!

You PAY to adopt a child?

Who takes the money?

How can anyone make a profit from a baby! IMO thats dispicable.

In this country the social services deal with all of this, and its free, they need families to adopt children, however, they will not give children to single paretn families, or gay couples. (which i also disagree with, gay couples should have equal rights to straight families)

I agree in that a baby should be in a couple set up, of my son and his friends, my wife and I are the only parents that are still together, it is now the norm for mum and dad to live in different houses, it wasnt when i was young, but my parents did.

If you can, do it, if you believe you are in the right position to do it in a few years go for it. You can bring so much joy to a young life.

Stoneage_Caddy
11-26-05, 07:58 PM
i dont think it is that way mccombie .......

Ill go down tot he baby dealership and see what i can get one for "out the door" , that means Tax,ID, and Birth certificate in addition to purchase price .....

Id also imagine "blonde hair and blue eyes" is an extra cost option ....

Jeeez ......

white kids cost more .....someone took some verbal laxitive today

mccombie_5
11-26-05, 08:21 PM
I hope it isnt like that, because if it is that is WRONG

Just take the babies to a damn cattle market

SpeedyArizona
11-26-05, 08:37 PM
Also, remember, adopting is expensive, especially if you want a health baby. Race plays a factor as well; white babies cost much more than minority babies. My advice - get an Asian girl, from Laos or China or Burma or Vietnam, then she will be super smart and make you real proud to know you have a genius for a daughter...

Of course I want a healthy baby! Here's my options, someone can post the sticker price:

Healthy Baby
Blue Eyes
Blonde Hair
Nicely shaped nose
Cute
Adorable

Maybe the sticker price would be around $34,500, wonder if "he" comes with a common sense too? The price isn't much of a concern to me, I know it'll take time and cost me a bit of money. Otherwise I'll trade in the Beamer and buy a used Beamer for less.

SilverCTS
11-26-05, 09:17 PM
Of course I want a healthy baby! Here's my options, someone can post the sticker price:

Healthy Baby
Blue Eyes
Blonde Hair
Nicely shaped nose
Cute
Adorable

Maybe the sticker price would be around $34,500, wonder if "he" comes with a common sense too? The price isn't much of a concern to me, I know it'll take time and cost me a bit of money. Otherwise I'll trade in the Beamer and buy a used Beamer for less.

You might want to consider leasing. You can get a pro golfer or a rocket scientist for a lower monthly payment. Only problem is that you'll have to give him (or her) back in a couple years.

powerglide
11-27-05, 03:05 AM
Well this is taking a distrubing turn....

Anyways, I think its a noble thought and salute you for your inititiave!

BTW 25 years old isn't that old at all Speedy :)

Spyder
11-27-05, 03:25 AM
interesting turn, yes...disturbing, I dunno... :)

hardrockcamaro@mac.c
11-27-05, 03:38 AM
Good luck, very noble thing to do.

Over here you'd stand next to no chance of adopting if you're single (yet the government doesn't doesn't really discrimiate agianst single parent families if the child is gentically theirs).

The only thing that concerns me is how we're listing blonde hair, blue eyes, nicely shaped nose and cute as requisites. Are we saying we're only prepared to help attractive children?

mccombie_5
11-27-05, 05:14 AM
Alas, blonde hair, blue eyes, nice nose....

Wasnt that how the Nazis liked it?

Boombotz
11-27-05, 09:00 AM
I think the idea is a really nice idea. You will have your hands full I think with the single part. Have you ever considered being part of the big brother program. Trust me I know there is a huge difference, but you said you weren't ready yet. I mean this program is fantastic you could help some kids have time with an adult they wouldn't of had neceserally and get your feet dirty. It will give you a good start and may help when you start the process for adopting!

DopeStar 156
11-27-05, 01:42 PM
Mmmmmm...... get a cat.

SpeedyArizona
11-27-05, 04:59 PM
Alas, blonde hair, blue eyes, nice nose....

Wasnt that how the Nazis liked it?

Just kidding Mc :D! I'm just playing around with the idea right now, nothing too serious yet. When I get "up there" in my 30's, then it might become a more serious thought, but for now I'll leave it alone.

mccombie_5
11-27-05, 05:02 PM
Just kidding Mc :D! I'm just playing around with the idea right now, nothing too serious yet. When I get "up there" in my 30's, then it might become a more serious thought, but for now I'll leave it alone.

I know, you mean when you fear you will have no one to pass that Cadillac on to? :lildevil:

Send it to me

FSU_Noles
11-27-05, 05:59 PM
Since I have been a parent I have a new respect for anyone that can handle being a single parent. My wife and I have our hands full with our daughter and I can't imagine trying to do everything by myself.

By the time you are ready to adopt you may have had a wedding revalation.