: Car Humor



SpeedyArizona
11-03-05, 12:10 AM
This stuff is hilarious, here's a taste:

WHAT CARS SAY ABOUT THEIR OWNERS


Acura Integra- I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Acura Legend- I'm too bland for German cars
Acura NSX- I am impotent
Audi 90- I enjoy putting out engine fires
Buick Park Avenue- I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Eldorado- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
Cadillac Seville- I am a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro- I enjoy beating up people
Chevrolet Chevette- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette
Chevrolet Corvette- I'm in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chrysler Cordoba- I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Datsun 280Z- I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Dart-I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Ford Escort - I'm a red-headed nanny
Ford Fairmont- (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang- I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria- I enjoy having people slow to 55mph & change lanes when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm- I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
Geo Tracker- I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
Honda del Sol- I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all
Honda Civic- I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45- I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse-I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.
Jaguar XJ6-I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.
Kia Sephia- I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp.
Lincoln Town Car- I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercury Grand Marquis- (See above)
Mercedes 500SL- I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph.
Mercedes 560SEL- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole.
Mazda Miata- I do not fear being decapitated by an 18- wheeler
MGB- I am dating a mechanic
Mitsubishi Diamante- I don't know what it means either
Nissan 300ZX- I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass- I just stole this car and I'm going to make a....
Peugeot 505 Diesel- I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Neon- I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
Pontiac Trans AM- I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 944- I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow- I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal
Saturn SC2- (See Honda Civic)
Subaru Legacy- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more
Toyota Camry- I am still in the closet
Volkswagon Beetle- I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volkswagon Cabriolet- I am out of the closet
Volkswagon Microbus- I am tripping right now
Volvo 740 Wagon- I am frightened of my wife

There's a LOT more on the site, I literally laughed my ass off!

http://www.musclecarclub.com/humor/humor-automotive.shtml

I~LUV~Caddys8792
11-03-05, 12:53 AM
hahaha that shits hilarious!

davesdeville
11-03-05, 04:07 AM
Who want's some cosmetics?

mccombie_5
11-03-05, 09:17 AM
Cadillac Seville- I am a pimp

Jaguar XJ6-I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.

Volvo 740 Wagon- I am frightened of my wife



Entirely true :D

Although we dont have the Volvo or a Jag anymore, it still right.

:D Points for u speedy

mccombie_5
11-03-05, 09:18 AM
Who want's some cosmetics?

Who wants some biatches?

SpeedyArizona
11-03-05, 09:47 AM
Who wants some biatches?

HaHa, I'm too broke...

mccombie_5
11-03-05, 12:18 PM
HaHa, I'm too broke...

Damn

Crozier
11-03-05, 02:36 PM
I see they went easy on the Bimmers. The owners of those cars are WIDE open for these kinds of jokes.... Too easy......

dbdartman
11-03-05, 03:28 PM
Dodge Dart-I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower

[sister Mary Elephant]
Class... CLASS...! CLASS!!!!!!! QUITE!!!!! Thank you.
[/sister Mary Elephant]

I'm here to grade you all on spelling and grammar. :devilheh:

Rolex
11-03-05, 05:39 PM
Hey where's the Escalade? It would probably be something like "I'm a rapper or drug dealer." ;)

mccombie_5
11-03-05, 05:43 PM
Hey where's the Escalade? It would probably be something like "I'm a rapper or drug dealer." ;)

So Im a rich/rapper/drug dealer/pimp who is scared of his wife :D

SpeedyArizona
11-03-05, 06:18 PM
I see they went easy on the Bimmers. The owners of those cars are WIDE open for these kinds of jokes.... Too easy......

Wide open eh? If someone makes fun of my Bimmer, I'll pull out the shotgun I have stored under the seats :D!

mccombie_5
11-03-05, 06:22 PM
Wide open eh? If someone makes fun of my Bimmer, I'll pull out the shotgun I have stored under the seats :D!

Ok here we go ;)

Why didnt you get a one with a REAL engine, BMW mentality, just buy it for the badge, didnt get a 3.0 or even a 2.8, the 2.5! I mean, whats that gonna do, ahhh i get, it, you just cruise along pointing to the BMW badge on the hood!













Just messin speedy :p :hide:

addison_ii
11-03-05, 06:26 PM
I'm a pimp whose wife sells Mary Kay, and while I don't like bingo, I live for covered suppers. :D

mccombie_5
11-03-05, 06:28 PM
I'm a pimp whose wife sells Mary Kay, and while I don't like bingo, I live for covered suppers. :D

LOL :histeric:

powerglide
11-03-05, 06:46 PM
" Datsun 280Z- I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well"

:histeric:

SpeedyArizona
11-03-05, 06:59 PM
Why didnt you get a one with a REAL engine, BMW mentality, just buy it for the badge, didnt get a 3.0 or even a 2.8, the 2.5!

The 3.0 was around $8000 more than the 2.5, and they don't make a 2.8 anymore.


ou just cruise along pointing to the BMW badge on the hood!


You are correct :D!

mccombie_5
11-03-05, 07:01 PM
The 3.0 was around $8000 more than the 2.5, and they don't make a 2.8 anymore.
You are correct :D!

LOL

The reason we all have Caddies :sneaky:

I know my mother paid a premium for the 330Cd over the 330Ci, but thats for a diesel engine, i didnt knwo they didnt make the 2.8 anymore, im not up on BMWs

tstach
11-03-05, 07:58 PM
Biatch betta have my money...

mccombie_5
11-03-05, 08:01 PM
Biatch betta have my money...

LOL

I~LUV~Caddys8792
11-03-05, 08:39 PM
I'm a pimp whose wife sells Mary Kay, and while I don't like bingo, I live for covered suppers. :D


HAHAHAHAHA very nice addison!

But wait, I didnt know pimps have wifes?!?! hahaha jk