: August Photo Caption Contest

08-03-05, 02:36 AM
Ok guys... Since the last impromptu caption contest was so funny, I decided to do it for real... So everyone has 5 DAYS (until THIS SUNDAY at midnight PST) to post your best caption to the following picture.


What you will win: A cadillac hat and a CTS-V calendar (and bragging rights)
1. Everyone gets 2 posts at the max with a max of 5 entries per post. I am not going to be a stickler on this one, but I dont want a string of 100 posts by one person with one entry per post... be real about this....
2. I will put the final 5-10 finalists (of my choosing) up to a forum vote and the winner will get the prize.
3. I am the final authority on everything and can change my mind when I want (it's my damn hat).


My entries:
1. "anyone know a good parts guy?"
2. "uh, hi... Allstate... yeeahhh... what is my deductible again?"
3. Anyone intersted in my Saran wrap window mod?
4. Put down the Damn phone!

Ok... your turn... Lets see some creativity, but it must be CLEAN HUMOR!

08-03-05, 02:49 AM
I still dont know how to do this caption thing but I guess Ill give it a try

"note to self, dont let mother-in-law sit on car again"

"Running into people leaves dents"

08-03-05, 02:52 AM
More like No reed, you will never borrow my car again.. ;P

Ps. (will post my pics to this thread when completed)

08-03-05, 03:40 AM
"It's really a black car, but the color hasn't caught up with it yet".

"FOR SALE, Slightly used NOX system".

08-03-05, 04:46 AM
"That'll Buff Right Out"

08-03-05, 05:38 AM
I said turn left!

08-03-05, 07:40 AM
For Sale... low miles, adult driven, absolute cream puff

"I only turned off the traction control just to see how the car really performed"

08-03-05, 08:07 AM
" Honest, dear, the Hummer put it in reverse!"

08-03-05, 10:42 AM
how about.........."dont worry, I got lots of room to pass..........."

08-03-05, 11:22 AM

"Hey guys!! Check out my latest intake mod....look at all the cool air hitting the intake now :cool: "

Best Car Insurance (http://autoinsurances.wearecares.net) | Auto Protection Today (autoprotection.wearecares.net) | FREE Trade-In Quote (trade-in.wearecares.net)

08-03-05, 11:36 AM
"But honey-darling, I never had any problems parking my Honda..."

08-03-05, 11:39 AM
"At least the Rear Differential is fine!"

"I know some swear by Rejex, but after a close inspection, the finish just doeasn't look that smooth."

"I told you it had crumple zones. Now where's my $50 bucks."

"While some may not like my new aero-kit, I think it projects the image I want to convey. Not many ricers will want to line up against me now."

"Results of the whldwhl gen I fg2 lowering conversion kit" [j/k ww :D ]


08-03-05, 11:59 AM
"That'll Buff Right Out"

That one is awesome!

Ok, here are mine:

1. "Honey, cancel the boob job"

2. "Is this covered under my warranty?"

3. "Look at the positive. Since my car will be off the road for a few days I can finally get my stock wheels chromed."

4. "Its all Maggies fault"

08-03-05, 12:40 PM
1. "still beat a bimmer!"

2. "Dear GM, I think there is a problem with my LS6..."

3. "so what's the trade in value of a V?"

4. "FOR SALE... with employee discount!"

5. "what?! there is a n easier way to get to the oil filter?!?!"

08-03-05, 12:41 PM
"The Ultimate Sleeper. No one will ever guess it's hiding an LS6!"

"For the first time in history, the Runflats had a longer life than the CTS-V"

08-03-05, 12:44 PM
"And what you see here, is the new Cadillac CTS-Super V" said John Heinricy, Cadillac's Director of High Perfomance Vehicles.

08-03-05, 12:47 PM
"cream puff for sale"

08-03-05, 12:48 PM
1. "Dibs on the wheels"

2. http://www.noreduction.com/upload/jake/funny/buffout.jpg

3. http://www.noreduction.com/upload/jake/funny/capcontest-2.jpg

4. http://www.noreduction.com/upload/jake/funny/wouldyouhitit.jpg

5. http://www.noreduction.com/upload/jake/funny/capcontest-2_2.JPG

08-03-05, 01:09 PM
"Where's the guy who parked my car?"

The losing team left a message on Andy Pilgrim's car.

08-03-05, 01:24 PM
here champ..heres 5 bucks....park it in front!! (valet)..

08-03-05, 01:40 PM
1.Damn mall parking lot!

2.Answers to this and other v related problems in the FAQ.

08-03-05, 02:10 PM
I thought the 3m clear bra was supposed to protect against dings.
Who needed astock rim for a spare? I think one is untouched.

08-03-05, 02:13 PM
"I told you runflats work."

"What's this TCS button for, honey?"

Oh yeah, and one more as repayment:

"Man, that thing must have been hit by Trukk!"

08-03-05, 02:47 PM
"You should see the other guy..."

08-03-05, 02:49 PM
Honey, remember that door ding?
I'll be getting that fixed for you, along with a couple of other things...


Honey...Would you check the steering wheel in the V for my teeth?

08-03-05, 03:55 PM
I told you, the silver isn't the fastest V!

08-03-05, 04:13 PM
"This ain't nothin, you should see the wall."

"Danm!! Back to driving the CIVIC."

"It's confirmed, all six air bags DO work."


"... and this is your brain on drugs."

08-03-05, 04:15 PM
Valet parking, although convenient, does have certain downsides.

08-03-05, 04:15 PM
2.Answers to this and other v related problems in the FAQ.

My vote right here.


08-03-05, 04:27 PM
"...so I'm pulling big time on this arrogant clown in the AMG when all of a sudden..."

08-03-05, 04:37 PM
"That Ferarri had me by a car length or 2, but he couldnt do this!"

"ummmm... hmmmm... yea... whoooo...."

"I thought I had it!?"

"sweetie, you know how you always want to drive the Caddy?... here are the keys... be careful!"

"Teeheehee... whoops! Good thing it wasnt mine!"

08-03-05, 04:57 PM
Here's mine:

1) Honey I know you're angry about me sleeping with your sister but, really, where's my CTS-V at?

2) When I asked you if anything was coming you said: Only a hound." You didn't tell me it was a Greyhound bus.

3) Wow, GM makes disposable Cadillacs now!

4) When keeping it real (the auto version) goes wrong.

5) The Bush girls have been drinking again. Look at what they did.

08-03-05, 05:06 PM
"When did Tony Stewart get a V?"!" :histeric:

"They should put brake lights on the back of those F-18s!" :bouncy:

Some of you have some really good ones! Good Luck! :thumbsup:

08-03-05, 05:16 PM
"Note to self: send PCM back to StealthV for re-tune; uncheck the 'Better throttle response' option this time..."

08-03-05, 06:11 PM
The only down side to Road H

08-03-05, 06:55 PM
What do you mean "It didn't look like this before I took it on the test drive" ?

08-03-05, 07:28 PM
1). With a new Aerokit and some badges I can make it a CTSV Type –R
2). “Man Reed, your car was fast, thanks for letting me drive it. By the way it pulls a little to the right” :nono:
3). As the “slightly dented” V lines up against the tractor, the tractor driver smiles, for he knows his Maggie and Stealth Tune will pull ahead of the V.
4). Another wanna V body upgrade gets destroyed at normal driving speeds.
5). Crack is very addictive and Steve found a way to over come his addiction, memorial on Sunday.

08-03-05, 07:30 PM
Loved this one!

4. "Its all Maggies fault"

How about?

1) "Friends Don't Let Friends Drive . . Their V"

2) . . . "Wheel hop? I'll show you wheel hop!!"

08-03-05, 07:50 PM
"Pampered Doctor's toy....."

What ever happened to that guy?


08-03-05, 07:52 PM
I'm late to this so the best ones are up already. Here's my best.

1) Service tech returns to the dealer as the owner stands in disbelief. Tech throws the keys to the owner and says, "Yup, just like you said slight vibration over 100 mph and slight pull to the right".

2) Co-pilot arguing with driver. "I DID say "S" turn there's no *ucking such thing as an "F" turn. What the hell were you thinking!?"

3) Overheard just prior to the accident, "Daddy..........I'm pregnant and yes Damian Moondoggy is the Father."

08-03-05, 08:09 PM
sarant Cadillac Will Screw You Good!

08-03-05, 08:48 PM
Bang. (followed by bam, crunch, etc.)

Break thru? Oh they didn't mean the ____________ Wall?

Velocisty terminated.

08-03-05, 09:22 PM
This picture is actually from page 36 of the owners manual. Please see "Watch DVD's while driving". :D OK I'm done with this thread. See ya next month.

08-03-05, 10:38 PM
Thanks for the test drive, can I drive a Black one now?

Thanks for the test drive, I think I'll wait till it comes with a LS7.

New CTS-V owner: Car is a dog. Why? sorry tubolove, if this wins you can have the prize.

HEck of a deal on new V, time to order goodies sorry alcast08, if this wins you can have the prize.

Chrome Wheels or Boob Job for WIfe
The strangest thing happened on the way home from the doctor's office..... sorry mlakowicz, if this wins your wife can have the prize, you've already won..

(sometimes the best stuff can't be made up) :bouncy:

08-03-05, 10:44 PM
:drinker Dude! I can fix it.

Honey, you just got a recall notice from Cadillac. I think it's something about your airbags. Apparently they may go off unexpectedly for no reason.

Hello Mr. Smith, this is John from Onstar. I'm just calling to let you know that our sensors show that your ABS system may be malfunctioning.

08-03-05, 10:57 PM
In this corner....weighing in at 3975 pounds....THE CRUSHER!

Ebay Item: 097458-0495452345 MINT SILVER CTS-V. No pics available.
too much to list 50,000

Sven Hoek ruling CTS-V hurler sets new record by hurling CTS-V well over 29 feet

Gives new meaning to "drive it like you stole it"

Enterprise now sells rental cars!


08-03-05, 10:59 PM
Finally got rid of the HOP!

Hey AVIS I checked the insurance coverage box.

So, I bypassed the safety mechanism and was watching PORN.

Brembo brakes suck!

My mother told me to always wear clean underwear just in case......

08-03-05, 11:00 PM
I think I got carried away
Decided to lighten up the V a little by removing some body parts. I may have gone too far.
I don't think you went too far. Most of the necessary stuff is there. I does look like you took off too much metal trying to lighten the wheels though. sorry CVP3/slow35th

Who Holds The Highest G's?

Touchless/Self/Hand Car washes in MI ? Uhm, there's been a small problem with the washing of your car.

Check It Out: Me & My Next V at MGM Grand Studios

Major problems with my car being to low!

08-03-05, 11:12 PM
"Oh sure, Bill always brakes for moose...he just doesn't brake for anything else."

"Maybe I should've paid for the car with my CapitalOne check card?"


For Sale: 1 New, low mile Cadillac CTS-V. My loss, your gain. Totaled, good for parts, many in excellent condition. Make offer.

WANTED: Need an apartment. College student had "falling out" with parents. Looking to move in ASAP.

"Let's just say the 'Rubbin' is racin'.' line didn't work for the other guy."

"I know my crotch is bloodied and my girlfriend choked to death, but you're really reading too much into this officer!"

08-04-05, 12:34 AM



http://www.bc.edu/bc_org/svp/st_org/swing/Shaun,%20the%20old%20man_small.JPG (http://www.bc.edu/bc_org/svp/st_org/swing/Shaun,%20the%20old%20man.JPG)




08-04-05, 01:17 AM
One of the greatest lines ever delivered on the big screen:

Jeff Spicoli: Relax, alright? My old man is a television repairman, he's got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.

Here is the rest of the dialogue that preceeded the quote:

Jeff Spicoli: [driving and stoned] People on 'ludes should not drive.
[After Spicoli wrecks Jefferson's car.]
Jefferson's Brother: My brother's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill you and he's gonna kill me, he's gonna kill us!
Jeff Spicoli: Hey man, just be glad I had fast reflexes!
Jefferson's Brother: My brother's gonna shit!
Jeff Spicoli: Make up your mind, dude, is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us?
Jefferson's Brother: First he's gonna shit, then he's gonna kill us!

And if you are a fan of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, here are some more Spicoli gems:

Jeff Spicoli: No shirt, no shoes, no dice.
Brad Hamilton: Right. Learn it, know it, live it.

[Spicoli, talking on the phone, hits his head with a shoe.]
Jeff Spicoli: That was my skull!! I'm so wasted!

Jeff Spicoli: This is U.S. History, I see the globe right there.

Jeff Spicoli: Aloha, Mr. Hand.

Jeff Spicoli: Learning about Cuba, and having some food.

Jeff Spicoli: All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.

Jeff Spicoli: So what Jefferson was saying was "Hey! You know, we left this England place because it was bogus. So if we don't get some cool rules ourselves, pronto, we'll just be bogus too." Yeah?

08-04-05, 01:24 AM
Throw it in the gutter, and go buy another.

08-04-05, 01:45 AM
1."Hello, Onstar, could you cancel those dinner reservations for me; something suddenly came up."

2. Larry was dissapointed when he read the fine print about which cars GM's "employee discount" actually applied to.

3. "Hello, Honey, I have some bad news. I was in a wreck, and........Honey calm down......Calm down............What!!!!........What do you mean how's the V?"

4. If you think this is bad, you should see what happened to the M3 who tried to cut me off.

5. Ed enjoyed his test drive, until the salesman proved that "Under Five" was possible everywhere, even in the parking lot of the dealership.

08-04-05, 02:14 AM

Until now, no one really knew the extent of Onstars capabilites...
Maggie install gone bad.
The good news, GM's new bushings eliminate 90% of the wheel hop. Now for the bad news...
Drifting is overrated.
Prime example of why Nascar needs to post a warning/disclaimer in regards to drifting before each race.
This could have been prevented if Cadillac simply would've included the park distance control feature.
Why Mr. Incredible no longer works on his own cars.

08-04-05, 02:29 AM
Throw it in the gutter, and go buy another.
Hey Eazy-E.

08-04-05, 07:41 AM
Honest Occifer... No one was drivin (hic), we were all in the back shingin...

08-04-05, 09:36 AM
"This V gives a whole new meaning to 'canyon carving'."

"The Caddy that zigs? This ain't one of them!"

08-05-05, 11:48 AM
"14" Brembo Brakes Do Not Prevent Brain Fade!"

"Shes still up on a pedestal."

08-05-05, 12:06 PM
Found one on E-Bay, Dad. Ad says "just off the truck"

evil 8
08-05-05, 12:40 PM
Redneck V driver:Hey y'all, watch this!!
Thats gonna leave a mark.

Harley Guy
08-05-05, 01:01 PM
"The dead passenger had what in her mouth?"

08-05-05, 01:42 PM
Did any one watch "Family Matters" fridays nights through the '90s? If so, Erkel - "Did I do that?"
Or Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura's parking ability, or style "Like a glove"

08-05-05, 02:57 PM
As you can see in this photograph, a front license plate detracts slightly from overall vehicle appearance.

08-05-05, 03:25 PM
The ashtray was full anyway.

08-05-05, 03:38 PM
Eddie Murphy from the movie 48 hours...While parking his car at a country club using valee' parking dudes :

"Hey, be careful parking this car. All this shit you see here, happened the last time I parked here"..

08-05-05, 04:50 PM
1. Complaints about overstated HP numbers are put to rest.
2. What does this button in the glove box do?

evil 8
08-05-05, 08:07 PM
Eddie Murphy from the movie 48 hours...While parking his car at a country club using valee' parking dudes :

"Hey, be careful parking this car. All this shit you see here, happened the last time I parked here"..

That was Beverly Hills Cop. You are so 80's!!

08-06-05, 04:32 PM
I agree with newvie, if I don't win (we know I will..j/k) I vote for this. I took my plate off calling it a "blemish." The Bev. Hills quote is a great throw back.

08-06-05, 08:48 PM
"It's ok; I had Subway for lunch."

08-07-05, 12:20 AM
1. SAID TO THE CADILLAC, SERVICE DESK EMPLOYEE: "I know you say there's no wheel hop on the V, but you can't deny the possibility that my car is pulling to the right."

2. For Jim it was just another trip on an L.A. freeway. From Zero to 60mph, everything was going great, 60 to 120mph was even better, but at 153mph, he couldn't see Kirstie Alley was fixing her flat on the side of the road.

3. "Hello, Mr. Thomas, this is ON-STAR, our computer is showing an airbag inflation. Were you racing again?"

4. Jim's wife was right; he shouldn't have gotten the Maggie.

5. SAID DURING A WARRANTY DISPUTE: "No, I did not wreck it; I went to use my windshield / light washers and then this happened. I think maybe there was too much water pressure."

08-07-05, 05:16 PM
Houston, we have a problem!

08-07-05, 05:51 PM
It's not what it looks like.

Whoops I don't think I was supposed to put "Black Magic" on the treads too.:histeric:

Ummm a good reason for not receiving "knowledge" while driving.:lildevil: :D

How was I supposed to know that the Garbage Truck was going to be in the way?

I told you that you're not a better driver when your drunk. See, this is proof.

08-07-05, 06:32 PM
Yeah but Honey the good news is I think I hold Cadillac owners.com "Who holds the highest G's contest ? ":thumbsup: