: Cyber bullying



Blakester
06-21-13, 09:19 AM
Isthis an issue in U.S. and should it be permitted in threads. What say powers that be on this forum?

IBMike
06-21-13, 09:52 AM
huh? :hmm:

RippyPartsDept
06-21-13, 10:05 AM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberbullying#United_States
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberbullying#United_States)yes

and i think the forum rules cover it already
http://www.cadillacforums.com/forums/privacy-policy.php?show=terms (http://www.cadillacforums.com/forums/privacy-policy.php?show=terms)

pat2t2f
06-21-13, 10:09 AM
I say we are all adults here. There are jokes made at other people's expense and some negative comments but no one here has the power to take your lunch money.
What would you consider bullying on this forum? Perhaps i don't understand your concern.

RippyPartsDept
06-21-13, 10:19 AM
Unlike physical bullying, electronic bullies can remain virtually anonymous using temporary email accounts, pseudonyms in chat rooms, instant messaging programs, cell-phone text messaging, and other Internet venues to mask their identity; this perhaps frees them from normative and social constraints on their behavior.


publishing of defamatory material about a person on the internet is extremely difficult to prevent and once it is posted, millions of people can potentially download it before it is removed. Some perpetrators may post victims' photos, or victims' edited photos like defaming captions or pasting victims' faces on nude bodies.

... and we're not all adults here ... sure most of us are but there's quite a few teenagers in here too

pat2t2f
06-21-13, 10:26 AM
The other point is: most of us are anonymous here. Maybe not you so nothing anyone says can affect me personally. Cyber bullying at school or the workplace is different because the person being bullied is personally affected.
I have been on this forum for nearly a year and I have not seen one instance of bullying. Some meanness perhaps (which is very rare) but not bullying and those are two different things.

Random84
06-21-13, 10:57 AM
Is this a tangient to something in particular, OP? :hide:

I personally agree that some people "bully" others as a consequence of arguments or difference of beliefs, in the same vein that a jock would pick on the kid with thick glasses or unfashionable clothes. However, on the internet the rules change, and group dynamics can be rather interesting. I've been on a few car forums over the years, and it's always the same: there is a popular opinion and a group of frequent posters that generally hold the same viewpoints. Any divergence from these opinons/perspectives almost universally results in ostracizing and attacking the poster, whom is almost always not a part of the group. If someone from the group were to post that same opinion, however, it would usually be met with measured consideration.

It's always grown adults who do this, and I think we all have contributed to similar situations at some point in our online experience. IMHO, the truly immature are the ones who have "thin skin" and take such experiences personally, or let it bleed into their "real" lives and effect their quality of life. It's like a snake wrangler complaining about getting bit - silly things are going to happen eventually, and no, you won't always like the feedback you get from posting on the internet.

As an example:
You can call me a bully because I share a negative experience with a vendor and rant about my customer service on car forums - with the specific intent of educating other potential customers on my experience as a breech of contract. I'm not calling anyone unpleasant names, but my negative tone, the context and my making comments on two different sites is perceived as aggressive.

But the reverse of that is in this same community, people who "like" that vendor will also go out of their way to berate me/disenfranchise my persona because my opinions are not (in their minds) fair or popular - and they might insinuate that I'm juvenile, immature or otherwise defective. After all, when my opinion is unpopular there is thus something wrong with me - and my perspective should be ignored. While we're at it, let's delete all those unpopular threads from the forum so no one else has to be mislead or suffer the unfortunate google search, right?

Who's the bully?

Can you bully through censorship, by only accepting that which you already agree with? Is it the guy posting a negative review on Amazon, or is it Amazon when they remove any comment that does not suggest they are impeccable with the lowest prices, the best service and everyone is always more than satisfied (and you will be too!)?

To some extent, I think we all have to keep in mind that the internet is a big, silly place where people can act in funny ways and we're not always going to get the responses we want. Maybe you shouldn't post that photo of your girlfriend, or otherwise comment on your life if you're afraid of unpopular responses? If you run a business online, you have to be prepared for the online feedback (think "Doug @ ECS").

To some degree, the "bully" is really groupthink, and people pretending that the internet should all be sugar kisses, rainbows and unicorns: for true freedom of opinion, and for real value in online discussions, you have to be willing to tolerate those posts that you might find offensive - to remove them cart blanc is, in my opinion, also a form of bullying and conformity through purposeful censorship.

spearfish25
06-21-13, 11:00 AM
I'm against bullying in general but complaining of bullying on this website is silly. Stop logging in then.

pat2t2f
06-21-13, 11:34 AM
Random,

I agree 100%. One of the many great things about this county is that we are entitled to our own opinion. If I disagree with someone I can do that and vice versa, as long as its not threatening. The problem that has creeped into our society is political correctness. Too many people are thin skinned and, as you say, if you don't like people disagreeing with you then don't post your opinion.
I don't give a rats ass about what people here think about me. That is not meant to be insulting but I don't know any of you personally.

jft69z
06-21-13, 11:35 AM
I'm against bullying in general but complaining of bullying on this website is silly. Stop logging in then.

Bully :D

Jinx
06-21-13, 01:50 PM
Forums are fundamentally social clubs. Sure, there's a subject of record, but we're here to share ideas and experience and comraderie.

The double-edged sword of its non-physical and enterprise-hosted nature is that the group can't protect itself. It's good in that it gives new people and new ideas more lattitude to work their way into the group -- it's hard for the group to be closed (and die off). It's bad in that a malevolent or self-righteous force can assert itself and persist in loopholes well beyond any propriety and well past the point that a physical group would have told them off and escalated to physical ejection if necessary.

I don't think that, generally, cyber bullying is a term that can be applied to most forum interactions. It's a more specific thing, and I think expanding the term would render it useless. Cyber bullying is one or more people in social power inflicting harm on someone who can't reasonably escape the situation and isn't emotionally or socially able to escalate to an authority for mediation or protection. It's not just wanting someone to leave your clique alone, or wanting to be heard by a clique.

cdog533
06-21-13, 04:36 PM
Isthis an issue in U.S. and should it be permitted in threads. What say powers that be on this forum?

Is this a "Thoughts from the Great White North" segment?

This cyber bullying is all a bunch of horseshit. People, and young kids especially, need to toughen up.

If people are making fun of you, you have three options:

1) Conform to social 'norms' and don't get made fun of anymore

2) Toughen up and not care... try not to hang yourself if you are prone to emo things like that

3) Kick the ass of the person making fun of you

Man, we had REAL bullying. Like with fists and feet. You acted like prey, you got your ass kicked. People saw you would take some bullying and not fight back, and boom you got bullied MORE. That's the key: don't act like prey.

If you are worried about your kid getting bullied, or cyber bullied, give them this advice: If you feel someone has wronged you, or is bullying you, hit them in the face really hard. When they fall down, kick them until they stop moving. Bullying problem solved.

As for adults, the idea that an ADULT could get cyberbullied is crazy. If you can't stand the heat, don't come into the forum 'kitchen".

neuronbob
06-21-13, 05:15 PM
Is this a "Thoughts from the Great White North" segment?

This cyber bullying is all a bunch of horseshit. People, and young kids especially, need to toughen up.

If people are making fun of you, you have three options:

1) Conform to social 'norms' and don't get made fun of anymore

2) Toughen up and not care... try not to hang yourself if you are prone to emo things like that

3) Kick the ass of the person making fun of you

Man, we had REAL bullying. Like with fists and feet. You acted like prey, you got your ass kicked. People saw you would take some bullying and not fight back, and boom you got bullied MORE. That's the key: don't act like prey.

If you are worried about your kid getting bullied, or cyber bullied, give them this advice: If you feel someone has wronged you, or is bullying you, hit them in the face really hard. When they fall down, kick them until they stop moving. Bullying problem solved.

Love this. This is how the real world is. Yes, teach kids to respect each other so bullying is not a problem in the first place....but sometimes you have to deal with bullies. My approach when I was a kid was to ignore them and not cry like a wuss when they bothered me. i.e. toughen up.

Why is this thread in the 2G V forum, anyway?

Oh wait, I'm a bully now. :)

cruiser68
06-21-13, 05:45 PM
Love this. This is how the real world is. Yes, teach kids to respect each other so bullying is not a problem in the first place....but sometimes you have to deal with bullies. My approach when I was a kid was to ignore them and not cry like a wuss when they bothered me. i.e. toughen up.

Why is this thread in the 2G V forum, anyway?

Oh wait, I'm a bully now. :)

+1 Girls are the worst though. High School girls can be absolutely cut throat evil when it comes to bullying. Unfortunately today you can bully from behind a screen with little to no consequences if you remain anonymous. If you want to pick on somebody in person, there is always the risk that you could get your ass kicked. Today, if somebody wants to post something vile about another, within 5 minutes everybody in school knows about it.

When I was young (8-ish) I got picked on occasionally. I was pretty non-confrontational and didn't really give a shit so I never did anything. After a few instances from this one kid I got sick of him and pounded him a few times. Never said boo to me from that point on. I was surprised how many other kids came up to me with a high five because he was picking on them too. Never really had to defend myself the rest of school through High School.

I do completely agree with the acting like prey comment. Unfortunately some kids are just like that and it definitely emboldens the bullies.

Random84
06-21-13, 05:55 PM
I think maybe we're starting to read too much into what the OP was trying to say - I read it as "posters say mean things to other posters" on this forum, not that he literally meant the true definition of cyber bullying in that someone was obsessively targeting another individual.



You red meat eaters need to get back in touch with your emotions and approach this topic with empathy and compassion!!!

****ers.

cruiser68
06-21-13, 06:10 PM
Back to topic, I don't consider 90% of the shit that happens in forums bullying. Some people will cross the line and make it totally personal. Bringing family or personal issues into the fight is just cowardly IMO. If you can't make your point without resorting to that then you should just STFU.

RaVeNous
06-21-13, 06:51 PM
If it was possilbe, I'd give you a cyber wedgy, then lick my finger and stick it in your ear before tell you your car is slow.

Jinx
06-21-13, 07:22 PM
Yeah, kids need to toughen up. But the Internet has changed things. Used to be only everyone at your school might think you were a freak. Now one viral video and you could be humiliated world wide. Think of the Star Wars Kid.

And it's easy to say "just don't record yourself being stupid" but then you're a hermit. Kids shouldn't be afraid to be themselves, but social media magnifies everything.

As an adult you now think you could have dealt with that crap as a kid, but that's your adult wisdom projecting... it's hard to think of yourself as you used to be.

Those of you doing your best to bring up well-adjusted kids in today's hyperconnected hypersensitive world, my hat's off to you. It can't be easy.

thebigjimsho
06-21-13, 08:55 PM
wut.

hulksdaddy
06-21-13, 10:24 PM
wut.

Bully

thebigjimsho
06-22-13, 01:12 AM
Sully

SilverrV
06-22-13, 10:17 AM
Is it ok to Bully cadZilla Returns? jk

stl_ls1gto
06-22-13, 10:29 PM
IMO, a lot of America has gone too far with the anti-bully campaign......we are raising a generation of pussies . I call it the pussification of today's youth. I mean, you can't allow your kids to play 75% of the games as I played growing up in the 80's. Yes, in a perfect world, there would be no bullying, and I teach my son to not be one. On the other hand, we will never live in a society with no bullies. Thus I also teach him to not be a victim of one either. I have always told him there are two rules....never hit a girl back is one. Two is that if you or your friend is getting picked on, or beat up, don't take it, stand up for yourself - you will never get in trouble with me because of that even if the school doesn't agree.

Blakester
06-23-13, 03:17 PM
Re: see R/X product thread on Perf threads,this shows bullying and its Affect on our forum and products available, not a good side of human social interaction. We all are affected.

Jinx
06-23-13, 03:52 PM
I cannot find what you are talking about.
Please post a link to the thread, or at least paste the full name of the subforum and thread title.

Random84
06-23-13, 06:05 PM
It's the 7 page "CNC Performance throttle body" thread in the Performance Section, people are wondering what's taking so long to get results. (LINK (http://www.cadillacforums.com/forums/2009-2013-cadillac-cts-v-performance/280275-cnc-ported-throttle-body.html))

Cliff notes: I rant because a vendor takes my $200, doesn't deliver for 6+ weeks (product was "in stock"). I email twice, vendor promises me it will ship within a week both times. Vendor still never ships. I request a cancellation, vendor says ok and sits on the "prompt" refund for another 8 days. Me, being pissed at the OCarbon-esque service, share my rants in a manner to be readily noticed by said vendor, community and prospective customers - because three other members have had virtually identical experiences. I point out cheaper, similar products available that ship on time.

Vendor blames his age, work schedule, the bad help available in this rocking economy - and my rants for "destroying" him, and says he's giving up. Super Moderator says there's no place for personal insults, and then calls us divas and children who don't deserve our cars - he points out he's tried to quit twice because its so tough..

Irony abounds.

Remember: its my fault for being pissed because a vendor promises prompt shipping on three separate occasions and fails (versus, say, just being upfront on day 1). See also, my post on page one of this thread. More unhappy customers in my thread on the other site that you can't link to... but out of respect for everyone's feelings I'll leave all that over there.