: any pivotal times you would have done something differently?



EcSTSatic
05-15-13, 04:11 PM
I think back to when i was in Marine boot camp and Vietnam was still going on. I was asked if I wanted to go to OCS, officer candidate school. They didn't ask everyone. I said 'no'. To me boot camp was the wrong time to ask a teenager to sign up for more years. Looking back, that would have changed my life. Good or bad, things would be different today.

77CDV
05-15-13, 05:33 PM
Oh lord, where to begin? Give me a few weeks and I'll get back to you. :lol:

vincentm
05-15-13, 08:59 PM
I shouldnt've eaten that gas station burrito that one day...

Ranger
05-15-13, 09:24 PM
Oh lord, where to begin?
:yeah:

rodnok01
05-15-13, 09:56 PM
I second the fish sticks from the vending machine at the stuckies was a bad idea...
Pivotal moments... Probably the biggest was the decision to put my kid first and go to bed knowing I was the best dad I could be that day and if i screwed up to learn from it as not to repeat it. To ignore the stereotypes, the haters, and whatever was "in" by following what I knew was right and make sure he gets a good upbringing.... Everything else is a distant second.
This decision radically changed our lives in no way I could have ever predicted but certainly don't regret as he is a great kid(yes I'm biased).

The-Dullahan
05-15-13, 09:57 PM
If everything happens for a reason, then the outcome would never be able to be altered or improved, merely manipulated do achieve the same end result or something to balance it.

Trust me, I have more than enough things in my life that could be changed, many of which are most likely more severe or life-altering than the things most or any of you may have ever experienced, but if I could go back and do it all again...I would. Just the same.

Why live with no regrets? I've escaped death by mere milometers or fractions of a second, my life saved by some incredibly minor thing or event more times than I care to remember. Who is to say that if things DO merely happen at random that any minor change I made could have affected one of these circumstances and I wouldn't be here today to discuss it.

talismandave
05-15-13, 10:15 PM
College....had the smarts, and a paid ride, didn't do it.:doh:

Couldn't wait the four years to "start my life". Would have changed a my life incredibly. Life would have been much easier. Would probably have made a lot more money, and still would be.

Started working three jobs instead, two of them full time. Never had less than two jobs until I was thirty. Even then I had my full time 55hr per week job and took care of my rental property. Basically an different kind of job

Would have hung out with a different type of people, may not have gotten into drugs, or may have, that one could have gone either way. :noidea:

Then I also look at all that I have experienced. All that I learned by doing because I didn't have more money. Even the rental property I may not have done if it weren't for the lack of a degree. (I knew it would be a way to build a retirement plan to keep buying and remodeling and renting properties.)

I think of the 15 to 20 jobs I have had and what I learned from each one of them. It sounds like I flaked from job to job, but actually my average time at each was between 4 1/2 to 5 years. About a third of them I didn't have to apply for, but was recruited by someone who knew me from a job I was at.

I would probably not have met my wife(ex) and started a family so early (pain and learning would follow:(), but I wouldn't trade my three daughters for anything.

All in all I am pleased with where I am at in life. My past experiences, not all of them pleasant, very few of them easy, were never boring, and always educational. They are in fact what built the man I am today. For better or worse, I have few regrets. The few I have are huge, but not going to college is not one of them.

I do still occasionally wonder, "What if?":hmm:

Cadillac Kid03
05-15-13, 11:16 PM
Yea there was a few times one being staying in school! But i guess we all screw up and have to deal with it.

Koooop
05-16-13, 01:16 AM
Selling my V.

thebigjimsho
05-16-13, 09:36 AM
Wrecking my V.

cadillac kevin
05-16-13, 09:51 AM
Hard to say. Haven't had many regrets in life (then again, I'm young and have time)
If I hadn't bought my caddy, I would have alot more money (like 10g) which would have come in handy (but I would have had to buy another vehicle which may or may not have cost me more (for 10g I essentially have a new vehicle).
Aside from that, I wish I had paid more attention in high school band class....I would have been a much better musician for it.
I also wish I had chosen a different degree in college (not like any of them will get you a job right away anymore)

Submariner409
05-16-13, 10:03 AM
..................Where do we begin ?


:yeah:

............. there is not enough time left .................................................. ........

HAZZARDJOHN
05-16-13, 10:17 AM
Saying these words to my wife, "Will you marry me?" Biggest mistake of my life. Turns out you can hide crazy for years, but it spills out an hour after saying "I do".

I~LUV~Caddys8792
05-16-13, 10:54 AM
I've thought about how my life would be different if I finished college. I went for a year and hated it. I started working in dealerships that same year. I always enjoyed the automotive business and am happy doing what I do, but sometimes I feel as though I missed an important & fun part of life by missing college during those years.

I also have had a few girlfriends over the years whom I've broken up with and lost contact with. I wonder how my life would be different now if I hadn't done so....would I be married? Have kids? Nothing I regret doing, but things that cross my mind every once in a while.

BlazerZR5
05-16-13, 11:41 AM
I sometimes wish I Never had my first group of kids(five current age range 17-13).

Don't get me wrong,I love them all. I just wish I'd at least waited till I got out of highschool,lol.

If I only had my youngest son(2years old),I'd be ballin out of control right now! Also I'd be able to afford a Cadillac like y'all!:D

ryannel2003
05-16-13, 11:50 AM
Well I sure wish I had slowed down that night I wrecked the STS. It sure would've been nice to cross the 5 year mark with the car (June 26th) and see how it handled it's advanced age.

thebigjimsho
05-16-13, 03:34 PM
Saying these words to my wife, "Will you marry me?" Biggest mistake of my life. Turns out you can hide crazy for years, but it spills out an hour after saying "I do".

You're kidding, right?

77CDV
05-16-13, 03:52 PM
You're kidding, right?

I hope he is, but I fear he's not.

vincentm
05-16-13, 04:15 PM
Saying these words to my wife, "Will you marry me?" Biggest mistake of my life. Turns out you can hide crazy for years, but it spills out an hour after saying "I do".finalized my divorce this spring. Glad that's over

HAZZARDJOHN
05-16-13, 04:25 PM
No, I wish I was. Married her and she went from fun and supportive to, “I’m going to tell you what I don’t like about you” accused me of sleeping with everyone from my best friend’s wife to the queen of England <- that one may be true. It was a nightmare that no one saw coming. I dated her for a long time so that I knew she wasn’t crazy, ran her by my family and friends, no warning signs except for some weird behavior during the wedding planning. I chalked that up to, she was a woman planning her wedding. A year and a half of my life wasted, thousands of dollars gone, and now I got her weird family always trying to get into my business. Something snapped about an hour after our wedding (I swear I could smell ozone). She left to visit her brother a month later and never came back.

Before the wedding, fun, sexy, liked me for me, liked my friends and family, loved my car, loved my church. After the wedding, ugly, cold, wanted to change everything about me, tried to make me stop seeing my friends, Thought my car was lame and I should sell it, somehow talked me into selling my truck to pay for her stupid Ford Fiesta, didn’t want to go to my church cause “I was sleeping with all the women there”, yada….

I am still in shock… If I wasn’t married to her, I would have dumped her ass and moved on. I don’t put up with crazy. Now I will always have a divorce on my record even though I was only married for 30 days (happily for an hour)

~HJ

77CDV
05-16-13, 04:33 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this! Once you've had time to recover, I hope you find someone who will be worthy of your trust and committment.


No, I wish I was. Married her and she went from fun and supportive to, “I’m going to tell you what I don’t like about you” accused me of sleeping with everyone from my best friend’s wife to the queen of England <- that one may be true. It was a nightmare that no one saw coming. I dated her for a long time so that I knew she wasn’t crazy, ran her by my family and friends, no warning signs except for some weird behavior during the wedding planning. I chalked that up to, she was a woman planning her wedding. A year and a half of my life wasted, thousands of dollars gone, and now I got her weird family always trying to get into my business. Something snapped about an hour after our wedding (I swear I could smell ozone). She left to visit her brother a month later and never came back.

Before the wedding, fun, sexy, liked me for me, liked my friends and family, loved my car, loved my church. After the wedding, ugly, cold, wanted to change everything about me, tried to make me stop seeing my friends, Thought my car was lame and I should sell it, somehow talked me into selling my truck to pay for her stupid Ford Fiesta, didn’t want to go to my church cause “I was sleeping with all the women there”, yada….

I am still in shock… If I wasn’t married to her, I would have dumped her ass and moved on. I don’t put up with crazy. Now I will always have a divorce on my record even though I was only married for 30 days (happily for an hour)

~HJ

gdwriter
05-16-13, 04:43 PM
Sheesh, John, I'm so sorry to hear this. Nobody deserves that kind of crap.

Something similar is happening to one of my best friends. His wife has Borderline Personality Disorder and refuses to get treatment. She turned on him shortly after the wedding as well and the debacle has, by his estimate, cost him a year's salary (and he makes very good money). The horrible things she has said and done to him — and Mark is one of the most decent, kind-hearted people I know — is absolutely heartbreaking. He's in the process of getting a divorce, and she's doing her damndest to make the experience as expensive and painful as possible.

I would consider my disaster of a marriage to be my biggest mistake, but I no longer regret it because my life would be so different otherwise and possibly not as good. I moved to Oregon because she wanted to come home, and now you couldn't pry me out of here with a crowbar. She insisted on getting a dog, and while she got our dog (now deceased) in the divorce, I got Hoover. I had to sell my Honda and get a cheap cash car, and I ended up with an old Cadillac, found this place and made some terrific friends. I've learned from the mistakes I made in my marriage and am in a happy, healthy relationship with a woman I love who loves me.

I recognize that I'm in a very good place in my life and am very grateful for that. Everybody deserves that.

thebigjimsho
05-16-13, 08:43 PM
No, I wish I was. Married her and she went from fun and supportive to, &ldquo;I&rsquo;m going to tell you what I don&rsquo;t like about you&rdquo; accused me of sleeping with everyone from my best friend&rsquo;s wife to the queen of England <- that one may be true. It was a nightmare that no one saw coming. I dated her for a long time so that I knew she wasn&rsquo;t crazy, ran her by my family and friends, no warning signs except for some weird behavior during the wedding planning. I chalked that up to, she was a woman planning her wedding. A year and a half of my life wasted, thousands of dollars gone, and now I got her weird family always trying to get into my business. Something snapped about an hour after our wedding (I swear I could smell ozone). She left to visit her brother a month later and never came back.

Before the wedding, fun, sexy, liked me for me, liked my friends and family, loved my car, loved my church. After the wedding, ugly, cold, wanted to change everything about me, tried to make me stop seeing my friends, Thought my car was lame and I should sell it, somehow talked me into selling my truck to pay for her stupid Ford Fiesta, didn&rsquo;t want to go to my church cause &ldquo;I was sleeping with all the women there&rdquo;, yada&hellip;.

I am still in shock&hellip; If I wasn&rsquo;t married to her, I would have dumped her ass and moved on. I don&rsquo;t put up with crazy. Now I will always have a divorce on my record even though I was only married for 30 days (happily for an hour)

~HJ

Ho Lee Crap! I was jealous when you showed us pics at the meet last year. Consider me jealous no more...

Ranger
05-16-13, 10:00 PM
That's one hell of a change in 30 days.

orconn
05-16-13, 10:30 PM
John, the really good news is the marriage only lasted thirty days and your decisiveness in getting out of the marriage save you a lot of anguish and pain (both mental and financial).

creeker
05-16-13, 10:41 PM
[QUOTE=HAZZARDJOHN;3315140]Saying these words to my wife, "Will you marry me?" Biggest mistake of my life. Turns out you can hide crazy for years, but it spills out an hour after saying "I do".[/QUOTE


Your statement is hard to handle, I lost my wife 2 years ago to cancer, so you were married for an hour and realized this wasn't for you.why did you get married
in the first place, my sympathy is with your wife, you sound like a jerk.

HAZZARDJOHN
05-16-13, 10:58 PM
Good to hear

For the record, I didn't quit our marriage she did, an hour into the marriage. She freaked out and realized she had been lieing to me and herself for a year. I put us into counseling a week later, I skipped work to work on our marriage, I did all kinds of things to save it. She didn't want it saved. She married me to get out away from her family, then realized she didn't know how to live without them being involved in everything <- her words not mine. So call me a jerk, you weren't there. I said I love her, and we can work this out. She accused me of sleeping with every woman she saw. Ask anyone who knows me, this is completely out of my character and was ridiculous to accuse me of that. She seriously changed completely. My heart is broken and I am angry at her now that she has been gone for months and I am still cleaning up after her. I was accused of all kinds of evil acts like sleeping with my best friend's wife and knocking her up, after we were married and on the wedding night that was just ridiculous. Turns out "uh uh" isn't a good defense to a woman with a wild imagination.

Sorry about your wife, but I didn't throw away my marriage she did. I spent thousands and months even after she left and said she didn't want to come back. She did nothing but imagine evils in me that weren't there. Ask anyone who knows me and her. I loved her and I would've died for her.

P.S. I also took my marriage vows very seriously. I could have been married three times throughout my 20's if I was willy nilly about marriage. but I grew up in Church and I don't have divorce in my family. I refused to even pop the question until I knew they were the one, and many that I thought were the one we parted ways after a year or two. This woman, I felt like I got hit with a train when I met her (in a good way), I spent a year and a half spending every minute I could with her, getting to know who she really was. I knew she was the one when I asked her to marry me. When I said I do it was forever and for better or worse. Turns out she wasn't being honest with herself about me. But I can't make her stay and work it out, I can't force her into the therapy she needs, and I can't make her love me when she really never did.

orconn
05-16-13, 11:36 PM
John, please disregard Creeker's comments. They are obviously unfounded in the facts of the matter and an emotional response, the product of his own recent misfortune, rather than one that took into account your unhappy experience.

I hope that you will not give up on finding the perfect mate. and that she will show you how a good marriage can be.

gdwriter
05-17-13, 01:25 AM
Those of us who know John in person -- and there are several of us here -- know that "jerk" is about as far from an accurate description of him as possible.

John, don't stress over being divorced. It's not a blemish to be ashamed of; it's simply an unfortunate fact of life for many of us. I married the wrong woman, and I'm only partially joking when I say the nicest thing she ever did for me was leave. We were horribly mismatched and miserable. She's remarried, and I genuinely hope she and her second husband are happy. I know I am with my girlfriend. It took 30 years, but I am finally in a solid, loving relationship that works.

Koooop
05-17-13, 01:31 AM
I think Creeker is your Ex and she's trolling.

CTSCHICK
05-17-13, 01:37 AM
Next time a Hurricane comes park my cars on higher ground even if the town says it isn't expecting to flood

ben.gators
05-17-13, 04:05 AM
HAZZARDJOHN

It could be way worse than that! A friend of mine divorced after 25 years of marriage, and they had 4 children... It was very hard for both of them! The man lost his house, his retirement money, and his children....You are still young and you didn't lose your entire life! You still have plenty of time!

thebigjimsho
05-17-13, 10:04 AM
[QUOTE=HAZZARDJOHN;3315140]Saying these words to my wife, "Will you marry me?" Biggest mistake of my life. Turns out you can hide crazy for years, but it spills out an hour after saying "I do".[/QUOTE


Your statement is hard to handle, I lost my wife 2 years ago to cancer, so you were married for an hour and realized this wasn't for you.why did you get married
in the first place, my sympathy is with your wife, you sound like a jerk.You are a moron. And a jerk yourself. You obviously didn't read the entire post. You're ignorant, you're clueless and you should be banned for your moronic statements.

HAZZARDJOHN
05-17-13, 10:17 AM
The guy lost his wife, so I see why he feels that way. I lost my wife too (not the same but I still lost her) so I know what it does to your emotions. I know I probably shouldn't have replied, but I am still a little loopy, but she has been gone since february so the anger is subsiding now that I spend as much time with my Cadillac as possible. Sorry to make this thread about me, can't believe I put this on the web.

Back to the thread, I took a job in 2007 in South Dakota. Before that I was 5 years into a job at an electrical engineering firm and making good money for a 26 year old. I loved South Dakota from when I went out there as a kid and trained dogs with my dad and always said I would live there. 2008 The economy crashed, I took a pay cut. I had a house in Minnesota (that I still own) that lost so much value I had to sell it Contract for Deed, I got a second job in South Dakota designing scoreboards for major league ball parks and it was better money but not what I was making in MN. Five years later I got the house back when the guy who bought it walked away, but it was trashed. I decided to rent it out, but I knew I had to move back to Minnesota. I am back now working at my dream job at Polaris, but I am making just slightly more than I made when I left my job in 2007. I have a future here, but if I would’ve stayed at the electrical job, the company was booming through the recession and I would be making probably 15K more a year.

All in all though I don’t regret it. If I never tried South Dakota, I would’ve always wondered. If my house didn’t get trashed I would not have gone for a job at Polaris. Silver linings in everything.

talismandave
05-17-13, 11:18 AM
Creeker, I am sorry for your loss, and am sure you are still dealing with a lot of sorrow. I hope you can find peace with it at some point.

John, I think your incredibly measured response to Creekers harsh statements says all we need to know about you, and who the problem was in your marriage. It takes a great person to listen to a mean spirited accusation and respond with understanding and compassion. I look forward to someday becoming one of the members here to have met you in person.

Craig, ....worth it all for Hoover alone!:thumbsup:

Having been through my own share of crushing, heartbreaking losses I can add to the sentiment that everything happens for a reason, and great things can come out of our darkest times.

Having never tasted the bitter, would be to not fully enjoy the sweet!

thebigjimsho
05-17-13, 11:25 AM
John is quite the classy guy and very gracious in response. I don't need to be so while I hope creeker gets closure on his loss, he's still ignorant...

I~LUV~Caddys8792
05-17-13, 11:59 AM
Wow, John! I still cannot believe what she did to you! When I met you guys that superbowl Sunday, she seemed totally OK and cool. I couldn't see anything brewing beneath. I could see what you liked in her, but this came out of nowhere.

Having met a few evil women and going through deception and heartbreak earlier in my life, I understand what you're going through, but not to that extent. From what you've said, she's got some major issues and even though it was hard, it's a good thing you've split up now. Being married to someone like that your entire life would take it's toll.

I'm very selective with the women I spend time with, perhaps too much so, but the last thing I'd want to do is to be committed in a relationship with someone I'm not happy with. I take marriage very seriously as well and do not intend on ever getting divorced. All of my high school friends are married or engaged. Two of the guys will be married to their wives their entire lives, one may not. His wife is the kind of woman that has to have the power all the time and they don't live in a balanced relationship... I see lots of friends who are in relationships with the wrong women, whether its short or long term, it's something I'm happy not to be a part of.

dkozloski
05-17-13, 12:12 PM
I married a crazy one but was stupid enough to tough it out for almost five years. I did learn that if I found a sane one it would be wonderful which it was/is.

creeker
05-17-13, 12:30 PM
[QUOTE=HAZZARDJOHN;3320554]The guy lost his wife, so I see why he feels that way. I lost my wife too (not the same but I still lost her) so I know what it does to your emotions. I know I probably shouldn't have replied, but I am still a little loopy, but she has been gone since february so the anger is subsiding now that I spend as much time with my Cadillac as possible. Sorry to make this thread about me, can't believe I put this on the web.

Back to the thread, I took a job in 2007 in South Dakota. Before that I was 5 years into a job at an electrical engineering firm and making good money for a 26 year old. I loved South Dakota from when I went out there as a kid and trained dogs with my dad and always said I would live there. 2008 The economy crashed, I took a pay cut. I had a house in Minnesota (that I still own) that lost so much value I had to sell it Contract for Deed, I got a second job in South Dakota designing scoreboards for major league ball parks and it was better money but not what I was making in MN. Five years later I got the house back when the guy who bought it walked away, but it was trashed. I decided to rent it out, but I knew I had to move back to Minnesota. I am back now working at my dream job at Polaris, but I am making just slightly more than I made when I left my job in 2007. I have a future here, but if I would’ve stayed at the electrical job, the company was booming through the recession and I would be making probably 15K more a year.

All in all though I don’t regret it. If I never tried South Dakota, I would’ve always wondered. If my house didn’t get trashed I would not have gone for a job at Polaris.

Silver linings in everything.[/QUOTE



Thanks for your understanding response, I did have a knee jerk reacation and didn't read the whole post, all the best in the future,sorry.

HAZZARDJOHN
05-17-13, 12:38 PM
Wow, John! I still cannot believe what she did to you! When I met you guys that superbowl Sunday, she seemed totally OK and cool. I couldn't see anything brewing beneath. I could see what you liked in her, but this came out of nowhere...

You know what's funny, I got chewed out when you left for spending too much time showing you my Suburban and not talking to her enough at lunch.

hueterm
05-18-13, 09:55 AM
Wow, John -- sorry to see this, but you're definitely better off. What a rollercoaster....

CadillacLuke24
05-23-13, 04:50 PM
I'm sorry to hear your loss Creeker. She sounds like she was a great human being from your feelings.

I hate to hear you got hosed on your marriage John. It sucks to find out on such a big thing that you didn't get what you thought you were. Best of luck in the future though!

After reading your guys' responses, I cant complain! But if I had to name items....

Would have listened to Dad about driving FAR sooner.

Would not have taken that shortcut December 3rd, 2008

Would have powernapped before my trip home last summer.

Would have worked it out to where I graduated high school sooner.

Would have taken planning for college far more seriously.

Would have approached public school far differently, as well as college, in terms of social interaction.

Would have joined CF way sooner :D (no, seriously)

When I have a bad day I look back and think what if. It can get disappointing, but it is interesting at times. I try to keep a positive outlook, and imagine maybe the future holds a surprise I wouldn't have otherwise encountered.

Hoosier Daddy
05-23-13, 06:45 PM
I can't think of any major decision that I would change. I was always lucky since what turns into a bad choice is often unforeseeable. The only choice I ever really struggled with was whether to move to Finland in '77 or '78 or stay in the US. I was offered a million signing bonus and other major incentives by Systek Oy which I turned down. The money was nice but the weather sucks and I wouldn't have enjoyed the work as much as what I was doing here.

Ranger
05-23-13, 09:04 PM
Would have listened to Dad
I would change that to SHOULD have and ended it there. It always amazed me that the older I got, the smarter HE got. :bigroll:

CadillacLuke24
05-23-13, 09:46 PM
I would change that to SHOULD have and ended it there. It always amazed me that the older I got, the smarter HE got. :bigroll:

Yes. This is so very true. Oh well, live and learn, I guess.

I~LUV~Caddys8792
05-23-13, 11:24 PM
Using my credit card to buy toys, food at restaurants and other short-term junk. Thank God I've finally got them paid off.