: Be Happy If You Have a GARAGE ... Rant

12-30-04, 09:45 AM

So this morning I go out to my car, arms full with luggage because I'm leaving after work to go on my New Years Weekend trip. I have two parking spots outside my apartment that are for me and my girlfriend and they are usually very convenient. The only bad thing, is that a couple huge trees lean over the parking spots and once in a while we get unwanted debris on our cars.

Well this hasn't happened in a long time, but this morning to my absolute horror my car was COVERED in birdshit... and when I say COVERED, I mean COVERED, DOUSED, BOMBARDED, AND well you get it. It appears that the evil crows of yore had come back to pay me a little visit. The crows used to like to sit up at the tops of the trees and shit on our cars but they had left after I used to yell at them and throw rocks all the way up to the top of the tree. Well the god damn crows came back in a big big way and left my car and my girl's car absolutely covered in bird shit. I went to the gas station and spent 20 minutes with the squigi and paper towel cleaning off the bird shit. At one point I had to switch squigis because there was so much bird shit on the squigi. I spent 20 minutes and still didn't even get to the front hood, all I got was the glass and the trunk and the roof. This was probably the worst holiday gift I've ever received. I could take pictures with my digital camera but it wouldn't do it justice because I cleaned 90% of it already, and I got to work late. What makes me feel the worst is that my girlfriend is sick in bed and I didn't have time to take her car over to the gast station and clean it off. I don't want her to have to do it herself because she'll probably start puking... again. I think the crows are smart enough and they did it on purpose, there had to be 10-15 people considering the amount of damage they did.

Anyway, I have news for the crows, I'm going to go out and get me a pellet gun and I'm going to sit up on my roof, and I don't give a shit about the Animal rights activists, I'm going to take down each and every crow I can hit, hopefully I'll get at least 5.

And partly because of this little issue, I can't wait til May when my lease is up so I won't have to go through this crowshit anymore.



12-30-04, 10:27 AM
Are they crows or just blackbirds?

Crows are usually too smart to shoot. They see a man with a gun and they start telling on you.

Blackbirds are a real problem down here. Huge flocks of hundreds at a time. You need a .12 ga. shotgun to make enough noise to chase them off. There are a couple other things you can do:

1) kill some of them, tie them together in pairs by the leg with a piece of string, then hang them on a tree limb. Since it's winter, they won't start to stink until it thaws out a little.

2) buy one of these:



12-30-04, 10:36 AM
Those owls and a 12 gauge work well.

12-30-04, 10:42 AM
They are crows. I don't want to be shooting a real gun where I live, I mean I could borrow my brother's 12 gauge but the police station is a half mile away... I live in a boston suburb with about 100,000 people so I think the pellet gun would be more appropriate to be firing off. The owl thing is a cool idea.

12-30-04, 10:50 AM
If you're in a city like that, there's probably an ordinance against pellet guns too. There are a lot of decoy ideas out there. Just google "blackbird deterrent" or "crow deterrent".

I saw some really cool balloons with great big eyes painted on them at one of those sites. Apparently they see the eyes and think that it's a predator of some sort and then they leave.

12-30-04, 01:38 PM
I know your frustration Air.

The crows have got so bad in my hometown that they had to hire a guy with a .22 to go out a 6 in the morning and shoot them from trees right on the street! He got quite a few of them so far and my parents say they haven't heard a single shot fired?!

I couldn't imagine cleaning that with a squegee. Too bad there wasn't a "wand" wash nearby.

Magpies (sp) are pretty smart too. You just caulk (sp?) a gun's bolt action and they fly away.

Damn, I can't spell today! :helpless:

12-30-04, 01:52 PM
Thanks again for your support Ralph.

12-30-04, 02:50 PM
If you believe these birds pose some health problem in your area you might notify your county health department to see if there is something that can be done about them. Also taking pics of the mess they leave behind might be helpful when pleading your case. The police department issued little pistols to my dad and his neighbors...they had to buy their own "whistle-chaser" ammo for the guns. They were allowed to fire the guns in the evenings to try and keep the birds from roosting in their trees (common blackbirds not crows).

Exposure to large amounts of bird sh*t over time can cause histoplasmosis (flu-like symptoms that can mimmick the respiratory symptoms of tuberculosis---ie non-productive cough and chest pain). So you can make an educated argument to your health dept to see if something can be done.

Good luck! :cool:

12-30-04, 05:05 PM
Your girlfriend's car is still a mess, right? Take pictures of that and use it to help plead your case.

12-30-04, 10:09 PM
I had that hapend at my grandparents farm onetime, we now park the car away from teh trees. Funny thing was my grandfathers faucet had no pressure and I had to go down to my aunt and unlces to lean it only about a 300 yards though

12-31-04, 06:58 AM
First it a bummer your car got shit on.
But why would you use a gas station squigi?
"I went to the gas station and spent 20 minutes with the squigi and paper towel cleaning off the bird shit. At one point I had to switch squigis because there was so much bird shit on the squigi. I spent 20 minutes and still didn't even get to the front hood, all I got was the glass and the trunk and the roof. "
What about the next person use it covered in shit and to use it on your tunk and roof would screw up you paint.
It would have better to take to a pressure carwash.
WIth your car getting shit on is just practice for if you get married.