: Rednecks . . . .



Aron9000
08-18-11, 02:08 AM
In this thread you shall post funny redneck shit. Stories, videos, photos, whatever, as long as its funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qD5hhErLcqw

brandondeleo
08-18-11, 02:25 AM
I live in the redneck capital of Washington. We have the third biggest rodeo in the country or something like that. Hate it. Lol

Jesda
08-18-11, 03:29 AM
A classic:
http://fuzzycats.com/redneck.htm

vincentm
08-18-11, 10:08 AM
I live in the redneck capital of Washington. We have the third biggest rodeo in the country or something like that. Hate it. Lol

Do they drive around town with huge confederate flags strapped to their trucks like here jn the tri shitties?

brandondeleo
08-18-11, 10:13 AM
Yeah... '70s Rangers painted in camo lifted 3 feet in the air with smoke stacks (or exhaust cut the hell off) and confederate flags... Other favorites include beaten up old Broncos with the tops replaced by crappy cloth of some kind, and there is a day every year at Ellensburg High school where all of the hicks drive tractors to school. Half of the parking lot is filled with huge tractors and combines... Thank god I'm not part of that crowd...

Given the wealth in Ellensburg, though, most teenagers drive huge jacked up brand new Chevy 2500s and Ford 350s or riced out BMW 3 series. The student section of the high school's parking lot is a hell of a lot nicer than the teachers... which is sad. You still see the big monster POSs, but they are far less common than spoiled teenagers with brand new $35k cars for their first vehicles.

vincentm
08-18-11, 10:49 AM
to be honest if i could move back to California, i would, or Seattle, i hate Eastern WA, this is truly the arm pit of the northwest.

brandondeleo
08-18-11, 10:52 AM
Ellensburg is a great place to live. Absolutely gorgeous, friendly people, clean air, wonderful weather, lots of history and beautiful architecture, self sufficient (unless you want to shop for clothes somewhere other than Fred Meyer), lots of wildlife, a beautiful university, and we have the third highest property values in the state outside of metro Seattle.

brandondeleo
08-18-11, 10:52 AM
...and we're only an hour and change from Seattle.

vincentm
08-18-11, 11:02 AM
Ellensburg is a great place to live. Absolutely gorgeous, friendly people, clean air, wonderful weather, lots of history and beautiful architecture, self sufficient (unless you want to shop for clothes somewhere other than Fred Meyer), lots of wildlife, a beautiful university, and we have the third highest property values in the state outside of metro Seattle.


My wife is thinking of moving there, but if the rednecks are as abundant there as you say they are, i'll be in fights all the time...let's just say i wasn't always in I.T

brandondeleo
08-18-11, 11:53 AM
My wife is thinking of moving there, but if the rednecks are as abundant there as you say they are, i'll be in fights all the time...let's just say i wasn't always in I.TThe rednecks aren't exactly abundant, but the thing is, if they are there, they are HARD CORE rednecks. Lol. And when fair/ rodeo comes around, everybody thinks they're a hick...

vincentm
08-18-11, 12:06 PM
I'd have to get me a gun, friend wants to sell me a 9mm for $100 clean record and everything.

brandondeleo
08-18-11, 12:14 PM
Ellensburg is a very pricey town, though. Cost of living is pretty high. The average cost of a house is around $450k. Homes in town are a lot cheaper than out of city limits. That's where the big houses are. A co-founder of HR Block lives here, the CFO of Microsoft is building his 30,000 sq ft mansion right off of my road, and a Boeing engineer has a huge compound about a mile west of me with a car collection that would make Leno blush, and there are big hidden mystery mansions dotted around the country. Within city limits, on the other hand, you can rent a decent older two or three bed house for around $900 a month.

vincentm
08-18-11, 12:35 PM
Ellensburg is a very pricey town, though. Cost of living is pretty high. The average cost of a house is around $450k. Homes in town are a lot cheaper than out of city limits. That's where the big houses are. A co-founder of HR Block lives here, the CFO of Microsoft is building his 30,000 sq ft mansion right off of my road, and a Boeing engineer has a huge compound about a mile west of me with a car collection that would make Leno blush, and there are big hidden mystery mansions dotted around the country. Within city limits, on the other hand, you can rent a decent older two or three bed house for around $900 a month.

No IT jobs there, might move back to Cali, gotta convince the wife though

brandondeleo
08-18-11, 12:43 PM
The closest you get to IT in Ellensburg (many people do this. actually, two of my neighbors do it.) is commuting to Bellevue or Seattle every day. It's a tad over an hour.

vincentm
08-18-11, 12:51 PM
The closest you get to IT in Ellensburg (many people do this. actually, two of my neighbors do it.) is commuting to Bellevue or Seattle every day. It's a tad over an hour.


Yea, i'll pass

brandondeleo
08-18-11, 12:53 PM
...unless you work IT for the university (very small IT employment) or a local company. That wouldn't bring in very much money, though.

vincentm
08-18-11, 12:56 PM
...unless you work IT for the university (very small IT employment) or a local company. That wouldn't bring in very much money, though.


Yea one of our techs here just came from that university doing IT work there. He said it wasn't much either.

RippyPartsDept
08-18-11, 12:57 PM
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

perfect match for this thread

OffThaHorseCEO
08-18-11, 01:53 PM
A classic:
http://fuzzycats.com/redneck.htm

sounds more like the author is a complaining pansy

CadillacCastle
08-19-11, 10:50 AM
thanks Jesda

CadillacCastle
08-19-11, 10:52 AM
A classic:
http://fuzzycats.com/redneck.htm
That made my day and lots of laughs. Thanks for posting it. I realize how lucky I am without any close neighbors.

Share

Submariner409
08-19-11, 11:05 AM
Whatch'all talkin' about rednecks ??? Here ah am, workin' night & day on the new Santy Claws decorations, and y'all ain't got no respect...............Ah mean, y'all gotta get a head start on these here seasonal things................sheeeeiitttt.

ThumperPup
08-19-11, 11:22 AM
Yeah... '70s Rangers painted in camo lifted 3 feet in the air with smoke stacks (or exhaust cut the hell off) and confederate flags... Other favorites include beaten up old Broncos with the tops replaced by crappy cloth of some kind, and there is a day every year at Ellensburg High school where all of the hicks drive tractors to school. Half of the parking lot is filled with huge tractors and combines... Thank god I'm not part of that crowd...

Given the wealth in Ellensburg, though, most teenagers drive huge jacked up brand new Chevy 2500s and Ford 350s or riced out BMW 3 series. The student section of the high school's parking lot is a hell of a lot nicer than the teachers... which is sad. You still see the big monster POSs, but they are far less common than spoiled teenagers with brand new $35k cars for their first vehicles.

sounds like a similare version of my highschool wheni went to Beachwood before my dad had me transfered out

beachwood was one of the few schools that the students where actualy allowed to drive and park on grounds
most of the school wanted to discorage students driving to school so they did not let them park in the parking lot
but in beachwood the students drove there parents BMW audis mercedes even a few porcheas and ferraris
or they had there own ricer car or the really rich got there own 50k cars and the teachers drove ford torus cehvy blazer ford explorer toyota camry
they also had the furthest parking space from the school lol

brandondeleo
08-19-11, 11:51 AM
One of the kids actually got his parents to let him drive the brand new Bentley Continental GT to school a few days a week. Made me want to vomit.

orconn
08-19-11, 11:55 AM
Whatch'all talkin' about rednecks ??? Here ah am, workin' night & day on the new Santy Claws decorations, and y'all ain't got no respect...............Ah mean, y'all gotta get a head start on these here seasonal things................sheeeeiitttt.

Damn, I wondered where that old Volkswagen went!

orconn
08-19-11, 11:57 AM
One of the kids actually got his parents to let him drive the brand new Bentley Continental GT to school a few days a week. Made me want to vomit.

Why was that? You don't like the smell of English leather?

Just kidding!

MoistCabbage
08-19-11, 12:00 PM
A classic:
http://fuzzycats.com/redneck.htm

So I read the whole page and looked at all the pictures. When I was done, I thought "Wait, how did I get to a story about redneck neighbors? I hit the back button to refresh my memory.......CADILLAC FORUMS?? LOL

Stingroo
08-19-11, 12:39 PM
Sub's image is 100% explained by the fact that there's an Alabama banner in their yard.

OffThaHorseCEO
08-19-11, 01:13 PM
......sheeeeiitttt.

sums it up perfectly

ben.gators
08-19-11, 06:38 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hFW3Pp3sJ4

ben.gators
08-19-11, 06:44 PM
http://www.cadillacforums.com/forums/attachments/community-lounge-introductions-general-discussion/79154d1313762659-rednecks-redneck-decorations.jpg
Whatch'all talkin' about rednecks ??? Here ah am, workin' night & day on the new Santy Claws decorations, and y'all ain't got no respect...............Ah mean, y'all gotta get a head start on these here seasonal things................sheeeeiitttt.

Only in Alabama!

Submariner409
08-19-11, 07:38 PM
Only in Alabama!

Wanna bet ??? Ever been in remote mountain WV, VA, NC, SC, GA, KY, TN ??? Life there is much slower and simpler than we know it............and some of the nicest people you would ever hope to meet.

Marshall Tucker band - Fire On The Mountain

brandondeleo
08-20-11, 03:49 AM
Wanna bet ??? Ever been in remote mountain WV, VA, NC, SC, GA, KY, TN ???I do believe that many of those are the most stereotyped states in the country. Lol. When you get up into Northern Idaho things get pretty wacky, too. The last frontier of the white supremacist... :histeric: With the exception of the Coeur d'Alene area.

The-Dullahan
08-20-11, 05:23 AM
I've worked with the guys from that first video, actually.

I also worked with this guy with a Bronco, lifted way-the-**** up and with a massive CB antenna on the back (No CB, but he had the antenna) and a police spotlamp on the front (Apparently it used to be a police car twenty years ago. One time, working at Publix at the time, he decided to take his truck mudding in the retention pond behind the store. This worked really well until he tried climbing out at the steepest part and buried his rear tyres, which were now just spinning. Thankfully he brought a towstrap and I popped him out in a second, which is good, because if that didn;t work, we had to go next door and ask the fire department for help.

Some local associates and shall we say "business partners" of mine drive THIS supercharged Cadillac, which blends Redneckery with Hooliganism in a very strange brew.

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff29/The-Dullahan/Photo-0199.jpg

Somehow, this is the only vehicle I have ever actually driven with a Chevrolet 502.

brandondeleo
08-20-11, 05:24 AM
http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff29/the-dullahan/photo-0199.jpgthat is ****ing awesome.

Rolex
08-20-11, 10:14 AM
I grew up in Southeast Arkansas. Nuff said y'all. ;)

CadillacCastle
08-21-11, 04:12 PM
What a t#rd. A person has to be throwed off in the head to drive any hearse as a personal vehicle. Even rednecks have more sense than to drive a hearse.
I've worked with the guys from that first video, actually.

I also worked with this guy with a Bronco, lifted way-the-**** up and with a massive CB antenna on the back (No CB, but he had the antenna) and a police spotlamp on the front (Apparently it used to be a police car twenty years ago. One time, working at Publix at the time, he decided to take his truck mudding in the retention pond behind the store. This worked really well until he tried climbing out at the steepest part and buried his rear tyres, which were now just spinning. Thankfully he brought a towstrap and I popped him out in a second, which is good, because if that didn;t work, we had to go next door and ask the fire department for help.

Some local associates and shall we say "business partners" of mine drive THIS supercharged Cadillac, which blends Redneckery with Hooliganism in a very strange brew.

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff29/The-Dullahan/Photo-0199.jpg

Somehow, this is the only vehicle I have ever actually driven with a Chevrolet 502.

RippyPartsDept
08-21-11, 04:37 PM
there's actually a couple frequent members here who drive hearses as their DDar head that it is really easy to mess something up

Stingroo
08-21-11, 07:23 PM
I quite like Chamus's daily driver hearse.

Why so judgmental, bro?

The-Dullahan
08-22-11, 07:14 PM
Well CadillacCastle, I am sorry you feel that way.

The-Dullahan
08-22-11, 11:52 PM
Wanna bet ??? Ever been in remote mountain WV, VA, NC, SC, GA, KY, TN ??? Life there is much slower and simpler than we know it............and some of the nicest people you would ever hope to meet.

Marshall Tucker band - Fire On The Mountain

When you head into a small town, well they're as nice as they can be,
But at night they put on sheets and hang your sad ass from a tree

There in a small town, don't dare be different.
Because hate lives in a small town...unless you're just like them.

(Almost happened to me once, but that was in Georgia)

Actually, I prefer small towns. Like...really small towns.

cadillac kevin
08-23-11, 12:21 AM
What a t#rd. A person has to be throwed off in the head to drive any hearse as a personal vehicle. Even rednecks have more sense than to drive a hearse.
you're "throwed off" in the head. a hearse is the most awesome daily driver ever (panel wagon+ luxury car+ body tags in the back of the car= WIN.)

RippyPartsDept
08-23-11, 12:26 AM
people always joke about how many bodies you could fit in the trunk of a cadillac (hahaha, mob jokes yeah)

but with a cadillac hearse you could probably fit 3x as many in there - and have a half-decent chance at pulling off an excuse if you got pulled over!

Stingroo
08-23-11, 12:28 AM
I've fit 13 bodies in the wagon.






























Alive, of course.

brandondeleo
08-23-11, 12:42 AM
My DeVille will easily fit 15 dead hookers in the trunk along with my subwoofer box... ...if you cut them up. :highfive:

The-Dullahan
08-23-11, 05:19 AM
Ew, Sting...Living women? Please.

However, with Subwoofers, coffin, zombie and skeleton, I have fit eighteen people in the back of my car (contest) and there could have been more, but we ran out of scantily clad women (Which is REALLY hard to do in my current profession) This year, to even the odds, we'll try to have a flatscreen again, or maybe two back there and there are MORE speakers, so maybe the other guys can keep up. Why is October always too far away?

From what I am told, the Lincoln however is rated at four bodies comfortably, or 134 ducks. Ironic in a thread on Rednecks, but being able to carry 134 ducks is apparently very profitable.

The-Dullahan
08-23-11, 05:21 AM
you're "throwed off" in the head. a hearse is the most awesome daily driver ever (panel wagon+ luxury car+ body tags in the back of the car= WIN.)

I have not found a toe-tag in the back of my car in almost a year now, just for the record.


but with a cadillac hearse you could probably fit 3x as many in there - and have a half-decent chance at pulling off an excuse if you got pulled over!

Or use it for transporting taxable goods over the state line! I totally swear I'm not money laundering, because that's not what I am REALLY doing driving around the country like I do in my business affairs. I will however state for the record that I was not the first Hearse owner in my American family (Most of us are from Europe) and whether or not my Grandfather lived along the Canadian border and took his hearse back and forth during prohibition does not necessarily mean he was smuggling, because it even took over a year for Border Patrol to stop and ask why Canadians were being buried in The United States...
:hide:
Interestingly, he also later got a job as a trucker and his Mack truck is sitting on display in a museum now and with great irony, he settled in Florida long before I ended up here (never actually met him until I was about twelve) and if you saw his property, you'd probably think "...Redneck..."

CadillacCastle
08-25-11, 01:46 AM
you're "throwed off" in the head. a hearse is the most awesome daily driver ever (panel wagon+ luxury car+ body tags in the back of the car= WIN.) A luxury car? Really? I am surprised the president is not driven around in one. Face it you got it because no one else wanted it. And it was cheap, very cheap.

Stingroo
08-25-11, 01:53 AM
Holy ignorance, Batman!

Yes, good misinformed sir, hearses are in fact generally built upon luxury vehicles. Wrap your head around that for a moment while the rest of the world continues to spin.

Also FYI: Kevin doesn't drive/own a hearse, and there are actually collector societies that revolve around them.

The-Dullahan
08-25-11, 08:03 AM
A luxury car? Really? I am surprised the president is not driven around in one. Face it you got it because no one else wanted it. And it was cheap, very cheap.

Listen, like I said, I am terribly sorry that you feel that way and I would rather not start a flamewar over it. I got it because I particularly wanted it. It took me quite a while to find one just like mine, because they made so few for that year, I could count them on one hand and I believe many people collect them, actually. My adoptive Mum, who owned all kinds of cars (and other vehicles) had a series of them, including a 1959 Superior, which kind of disproves your whole "cheap" theory, as a car like that is so rare that there are probably less than 100 left in the world that even drive and that is Hearses alone, not just Superiors, which thereby cuts that number into fractions. You say I got it because no one else wanted it, but there was quite a fuss over getting it, as a series of other people wanted it and at least once a week I have people come up and ask to purchase it from me. Interestingly, that has never happened with the Pontiac ('67 GTO) or the Lincoln ('72 Mark IV) but EVERY DAMNED WEEK with the Cadillac. Just because you do not like something does not exactly give you the right to decide who else wants one. If I just wanted a regular 4-door, don't think for a moment I wouldn't go out and buy one. I even looked at a few before settling on the Lincoln, but hey, I bet no one wanted that car either, so it was probably really cheap.

As for your pun about the president, it's funny, because the same companies that have been building limousines for our various Heads of State, have been building Hearses even longer. Likewise, Hearses come with rollcages and other safety features not found on regular Cadillacs, even bulletproofing in some cases.

Stingroo
08-25-11, 08:24 AM
Bulletproof hearse would be badass.

Ranger
08-25-11, 12:23 PM
Somehow I don't see a big demand for those.

brandondeleo
08-25-11, 12:26 PM
79424If SOMEBODY wants it, it will be made eventually...

Stingroo
08-25-11, 12:29 PM
Technically, a bulletproof hearse is slightly useless. 50% of the occupants are already dead upon arrival regardless.


But still.

RippyPartsDept
08-25-11, 12:36 PM
Technically, a bulletproof hearse is slightly useless. 50% of the occupants are already dead upon arrival regardless.
that was my initial thought

Stingroo
08-25-11, 12:36 PM
Still want though.

vincentm
08-25-11, 02:30 PM
Still want though.

Lol, yup

The-Dullahan
08-26-11, 12:18 AM
Still want though.

I has. 'Cept windows.

Bulletproofing has been integrated in a number of Hearses over the years from the same companies that put it into armoured fleet cars and limousines. I actually had an awesome photo verification page someplace. Again, the principal seems odd, as in most countries, no one but a humble driver is alive inside of a Hearse, but in rare cases, it is traditional for other figures, sometimes important ones, actually ride in the passenger seats of the Hearses. In Hong Kong, this tradition is taken to a whole separate degree, as they do not use traditional Hearses (But apparently know what they are, because my business partners in HK are all like "Ewww, a Dead People Car!") but in Hong Kong and China, open-backed trucks are often used, likewise in Hong Kong, fullsize buses and especially, minibuses are common Hearses, traditionally with large amounts of passangers, as fleets and processions are not done the same in these areas. Japan adopted largely American culture and uses Sedans, Often Rolls Royce, but the most recent generation of the Lincoln Town Car has become popular in the last two years. They make their Hearses from with both "American" Style and "Temple" [Shinto] Style available. The interesting conundrum of these vehicles is that every time you see a supposed "Cadillac" for sale, it is a Rolls and every time you see a listing for a "Rolls", it is a Cadillac.

http://lh5.ggpht.com/-aPqtKqI69uo/St5Zae-5dZI/AAAAAAAAB0k/v1YsGNSxXQ0/P1010155.JPG

But, because this is a thread dedicated to Redneckery, here is a Redneck Funeral.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTkj1S4Sif0

I am just a dank pit of useless information. :)

cadillac kevin
08-26-11, 01:28 AM
^must have awesome temple themed limo- with air bags so I can go under bridges