: More reasons to love the Simpsons.

07-18-11, 05:54 AM





Enough said.

07-18-11, 07:23 AM
King of the Hill had an Eldo and a 2001+ STS...



07-18-11, 05:19 PM

07-18-11, 06:17 PM
i was watching a weird show the sunday called repo games.

i think its somewhat scripted but, it goes like this. someone owes money on a car and the finance company puts a repo order on it. the guy shows up to repo it but, lets the person know that hes a gameshow host. He says they have a chance to win back their car, all they have to do is answer 3 out of 5 trivia questions correctly. If they do, he'll pay the balance due on the loan for the car. if they dont, he repo's the car.

So, one of the episodes, he asks a guy what part of the human anatomy the statue of Venus De Milo is missing. I immediately thought of The Simpsons gummy venus de milo homer steals. the guy sits and thinks for a minute then says "youre gonna laugh when i tell you how i know this". i laughed out loud and told my gf, "i bet he says the simpsons".

sure enough, he says, "venus de milo, saw it on the simpsons" and then mimics Homer peeling the candy off of the girls butt. I was rollin haha, gotta love the simpsons

07-18-11, 08:26 PM
^^^ that show should be a ratings leader before long, considering the fare televison is offering this Summer. Let's see four fat guys win and lose in their pawn shop all the while enlightening an eager public as to the supposed value of stuff that is dragged through their front door.

Then there is the "Flea Market" Guru who advises novices on how to move their junk at the local Cowtown market. Well, let's see first you have to haul it to the sale site and then you have to be flexible on prices and then you have to haul most of the stuff home again ... until you get with the program and give your shit away during the afternoon of the market!

Then there is the third season of watching uneducated unemployables trying to catch King crabs while also trying to keep their boats afloat. An hour might be interesting but three seasons of it leads one to question the viewing audience's mental capacity or at least sobriety. If the crab guys weren't boring enough you can watch the second season of the lobster guys doing pretty much the same thing off the Atlantic coast. Again a hour of lobster drama would more than suffice most intelligent mind's curiosity. But no we are treated to another hour long series of "high drama" as a bunch of fishing dudes go out after swordfish week after week.

If you get really bored with the endless ice and saltwater, there is also "Frick and Frack" on the many times a week show lusting after junk. If you thought the Pawn Stars appraisals were in flated wait till you here the kind of return these guys purportedly get for the the junk salvaged from the underbelly of America. A rusty 1939 Plymouth "business coup" which they liberated from a barely standing shed and paid $5000 for is supposed to bring over $8000 as a prime restoration project. Yeah, right!

I won't even comment on the weeks in and out of slipping and sliding on the frozen, semi-frozen and just plain muddy roads of the far north of Alaska and mid-continent Canada. Wow, Big John got his load of pipe to Pruedhoe Bay. With a little judicious editing we could all get the point in one one hour show and skip the rest of the season!

No wonder I am reading more than ever!

07-18-11, 11:29 PM

Meanwhile, in The Simpsons, Fat Tony and his Lackies have driven a nice series of Lincolns, a few Cadillacs and one or two Rolls Royce.

Also in King of The Hill, the entire plot of an episode revolves around a hand-me-down Cadillac given to Hank and eventually desecrated by his cousin Dusty in a Demolition Derby. Likewise, Hank drove a Cadillac in an episode where he became a Pimp by accident.

07-19-11, 12:08 AM
King of the Hill was a fantastic show


07-19-11, 12:18 AM
C-c-c-combo breaker!

07-19-11, 04:46 AM
i was watching a weird show the sunday called repo games.

i think its somewhat scripted but, it goes like this. someone owes money on a car and the finance company puts a repo order on it. the guy shows up to repo it but, lets the person know that hes a gameshow host. He says they have a chance to win back their car, all they have to do is answer 3 out of 5 trivia questions correctly. If they do, he'll pay the balance due on the loan for the car. if they dont, he repo's the car. I saw the commercials for it, and I was intrigued. After watching an episode of it (and the painfully simple trivia) I am certain it will be successful. It was really entertaining.

07-19-11, 05:35 AM
Honestly, I have never really watched...anything. Especially not any continuing series, as I would miss too much of it to ever realize what was going on (Although I did watch that "House" when someone called me over to see this episode once, because there were Zombies in it and another friend always told me that the title character is a lot like me)

I really only know that because I recall hearing about the Hearse/Ambulance in the Simpsons from someone (Google found it quickly) and I had seen a photo of Hank in a Pimphat in what appeared to be a Cadillac and google resulted in the other episode I listed as well.

Also, Jeep wrangler...I have always liked those. In fact, when they announced a 4-door, I was horrified...But I love them too.

07-19-11, 05:49 AM
I like the new 4 door Rubicons. Very nice cars.

Night Wolf
07-20-11, 12:13 AM
I like the new 4 door Rubicons. Very nice cars.


There is a reason why TJ's are still holding a crazy resale valve - gas mileage comparable to 70s land boats (16mpg, typically highway - is an acheivement) in one of the worst economic periods.

In fact I recently check the blue book value of my Jeep 2.5yrs after I bought it and 54k miles later (94k now) and it is exactly what I paid for it - $13,750. Meanwhile my house has probably lost value.

While the JK ('07+ Wrangler) offers some nice things and I may own one in the future - the TJ really is the end of an era with many things. Good or bad, it shows quite well by the demand/resale. Resale valuewise, by far the best American vehicle and leading overall, not bad for a "bare bones" gas guzzler.

2011 Jeep finally fixed the horrid interior of the JK, but the corporate 3.8 V6 is still a waste of time, atleast a step or three backwards from the 4.0 I6. Jeep said the tooling was getting old and it wasn't practical to continue an entire engine for a single mass produced vehicle. They also said of the avalible engines, the minivan 3.8 most closely matched the 4.0 I6, which is sad - because it doesn't.

But, 2012 JK will be getting the Pentastar. Detuned from the performance cars but still 260+hp and a nice fat torque curve including low RPM. With a decent engine and an actually real nice (...too nice?) interior, the JK is finally looking appealing. Not that I'll be stepping down from the TJ anytime soon.

Like most Jeeps, but especially the longer wheelbase (TJ Unlimited AKA LJ and JK 4-door) stock they look like low riding minvans. Once lifted with modest tires, usually a size or two bigger than compareable on a SWB, they look real good.



As it is now, the only appeal of the 4-doors to me is that it would make a sweet platform to build an all inclusive expedition rig from, I'd go with a roof top tent. Problem is, there really isn't anywhere in the US to require such a vehicle, and for most the trail systems here, it wouldn't be built correctly. As it is now, the TJ is fine for tent camping with 2 people but living out of for an extended period of time one really needs an adventure trailer to go along with it.

07-20-11, 12:23 AM
what about for escaping zombies?

Night Wolf
07-20-11, 01:19 AM
what about for escaping zombies?

A TJ, duh. With 4 liters of naturally balanced inline six goodness, of course :)

Ready to purchase!


Lets face it, 2012 is right around the corner. You can expect fissures in your driveway, hot lava spouting from next door, zombies trying to eat your brains. And all just on the way to work.

For that fissure your gonna need axle articulation. The trick is to cross the void one wheel at a time. Solid live-axles, front and rear, ensure weight is always on the ground. This Jeep has the upgraded Dana 44 axles, the strongest available. They're up to the task.

For the bubbling molten lava dropping from the sky, you have 3 options. First, you have a factory hard top. Its fiberglass, so its lightweight. Should that not be up to the task, you've got the factory soft top. Its heavy duty canvas, with zip-out panels easily folds back to, yes, allow you to go topless. Should you find yourself topless, skip the sunscreen and flip on the 2 - 100watt KC Daylighter off-road spotlights to shine through the dust.

Now, for those zombies. This Jeep has been upgraded with 33" BF Goodrich Mud Terrain tires, that have been individually siped to grab traction when there's blood spilled. Those 33" tires, combined with 3" inches of lift give you a phenomenal 12" of ground clearance which should be good to clear a few zombie skulls.

When the zombies hoards start latching on to parts of the Jeep, its great to know you have the optional 4:10 gear ratio. That, combined with a 4:1 transfer case give you unheard of crawl ratio of 66.4:1. That should drag a few hundred zombies at least. And the 4.0L PowerTech straight six has more than enough torque from idle through to the 5200 rpm redline to keep power planted. Just pop the clutch and floor it, you wont stall this beast.

OK, I know its not gonna be easy. Don't swerve though, hold your line. Aftermarket 1/4" steel bumpers should break a few zombie bones. If the sound of crunching calcium and iron substructure makes you cringe, simply crank up the 1200 watt sound system with 8 speakers and 2-12" subwoofers. Use your iPod to drive the Pioneer head unit. I recommend Van Halen for zombies.

Its always darkest before the dawn. That's why I've been saving the best for last. Ever watch those spy movies where the hero engages his secret weapon? Well, this jeep has that button. Its labeled axle-lock. Hit it not once, but twice, and it solidly locks all the tires together. That way you only need one tire on the ground to pull you to safety. Ask your grocery-getter SUV to do that.

What's the cost for this escape plan? Priceless.

Just kidding, its a mere $15,000. If you've made it this far, I'll let it go for $14,999. And email me for a complete list of accessories (and how to use them) -- it can't fit here.

07-20-11, 01:26 AM
Jeeps will not function in most Zombie-Related scenarios that a typical American is likely to face. However, they are rather practical. I see a 4-door jeep in my near future. SOmething about running out of parking spaces is making an epic battle occur in my head constantly over what to get next, as there are several choices, but only one will be the victor. Maybe two if I take the two smallest cars on that list.

Now then, escaping zombies in an urban environment calls for a fleet of vehicles and as Cadillac owners, many of us are safe. A well made large Cadillac. (1992 Brougham or earlier, 1984 Deville or earlier, 1978 Eldorado or earlier, etc, etc, etc) will survive breaking through a hoard of zombies very well. The benefits of my car are rather numerous, with details such as the complete covering over the back end, allowing for large groups of people or supplies, as well as the ability to leave the rear door open, the people inside perfectly safe, driving just slow enough through a city to attract the Zombies, gun them down one at a time through the open rear door, with the shooters in complete safety on all sides. This was an intentional reason for my purchase of said vehicle. In Central Florida, much like Cambodia (http://www.awilltoact.com/zombie-outbreak-in-cambodia) Zombies are a common part of every day life and I had an impending need for a vehicle that could hold it's own against them.

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff29/The-Dullahan/68999_1569664075714_1058844287_1600198_7653582_n.j pg?t=1311139542

The-Dullahan - Bringing Zombies to a Thread near you.

Night Wolf
07-20-11, 02:02 AM
Be it zombies or day to day driving - I've since realized one of the "safest" ways to avoid accidents and in general give yourself a 1-up is to, most of all be alert - and then not be limited to paved roads. Many times I've felt a well handling vehicle is great for getting out of bad situations, and it is... but when stuff really hits the fan (or theres no more parking spots at the mall...) something as basic a a curb being nothing more than a slight speed bump really helps things along. I remember being stuck in my cars on a highway with a large grass median in a drainage valley and thinking that it would be real nice to be able ot pull a quick u-turn and not spend 3 hours sitting parked on an interstate. Then there are also times I've had a vehicle that could do just that. Very nice.

07-20-11, 06:58 AM
That's what my truck is for. I also use it when I cannot get into the turning lane, because traffic is backed up, even though the turning lane is empty (turning lanes are only three car-lengths here) and I have no choice. That and whenever I leave the back way through the neighbourhood, I drive over the curb and through the yard of the abandoned supermarket, just because I can.

Interestingly, at that same event the Hearse photo is from, parking is always limited (except for me, because I'm a boss like that) and you will see typical things like people parked up on the sidewalk and all of the parking lot at the Whyndham is down to one lane, as there is a lane of parked cars, but you will also literally see things like a Lincoln Town Car parked in a garden with a brick wall touching it's underside and only three wheels actually on the ground. Someplace I had a photo of that, because it just peaked my curiosity so much.

As for keeping safe while driving, I just avoid traffic altogether. I will happily find that one vacant section in the highway and cruise along at sixty, as to avoid catching up to the rest of the traffic. When there ARE other cars, I am not above using sirens, wig-wags and PA systems to make them move. Also, hopping behind the passing emergency vehicle works well too, once the lane is clear (Central Florida, so there is ALWAYS a passing emergency vehicle with it's lights on)

07-20-11, 07:12 PM
I always thought a 4wd Ford van without windows would be the ultimate zombie apocolypse vehicle.


07-21-11, 11:10 PM

07-23-11, 12:12 PM
An acquaintance of mine actually uses a van for his Zombie Vehicle.http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljgj3t7qof1qf2smbo1_500.jpg

But some associates from Canada once built this with that sole purpose in mind.

08-02-11, 03:55 PM
Zombies don't exist you F-tards...

08-02-11, 04:09 PM
...And zombies don't exist... F-tard. Hahahahaha

08-02-11, 05:55 PM

08-02-11, 07:36 PM
Anything + in spanish = win.

08-02-11, 08:33 PM
Observed at local Olive Garden. Zombies having lunch.


08-02-11, 10:03 PM

08-02-11, 10:31 PM
I know. Olive Garden...blech. :coffee:

cadillac kevin
08-02-11, 10:32 PM
another zombie. damn they're everywhere.
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTmwEkSicVTIfCMZVS9iDWbRp7HCe745 WIJUPgOECop7PXrzUVbCQ

08-02-11, 10:43 PM
I quite like hearses AND Olive Garden.

cadillac kevin
08-02-11, 11:01 PM
I quite like hearses AND Olive Garden.
therefore Ray is a zombie.

08-03-11, 01:17 AM
Yeah. :coffee:

08-03-11, 03:31 AM
Zombies obviously exist. They make me a couple-thousand a day for the first weekend in every October alone. I will happily agree to believe in whatever is paying me play along with it. They are also the only legitimate reason for The Conquest Knight to exist. It's no coincidence it comes from Canada either...


08-03-11, 05:34 AM
WOW, what the hell is the that beast? I like it.....

08-03-11, 05:49 AM
Looks like its based on a Ford F550 or a medium duty International Durastar chassis(same truck as your electric company truck or Penske box van).

08-03-11, 07:25 AM
Reminds me of an F650 SUV-thing.


Although Aron may be closer, the 650's wheelbase seems longer than that vehicle.

08-03-11, 07:31 AM
It is a Ford F-Series medium duty chassis (the Knight XV), and it's powered by a Ford sourced 6.8 V10 engine.