: I might have lost one of my best friends because of my drunk behavior



1MileCrash
05-20-11, 04:18 PM
Okay, so there is this dude in our group. He's a year older than me. Really, really good hearted guy. Being the arrogant, stupid ******* that I am, sometimes I make him feel insecure or freak him out because he's easily manipulated and tricked.

Well, a few nights ago at a friends house I got WASTED. Extremely. Not only that, but I was told by a less than reputable source that my pain meds (from wrecking my corvette) would not interact with alcohol. BS.

On the way home, I told him some really freaky stuff. I am only going by what has gotten back to me because I remember nothing. I told him that I like to torture things for fun and that I wrecked my car on purpose, or something crazy like that. I told him that I valued no life I that I didn't care, and that I'd like to kill someone.

Obviously NONE of this is true about myself, I was just really drunk and freaking him out EXTREMELY bad. I invited him to the house apparently and brought him to my room and told him more messed up stuff.

He called my dad at work the next day to say that he fears for his life around me and that I should see a psychologist. Well, maybe I should because I feel the need to pick on my friends, but not for any of the fake things I told him.

I tried so many times to apologize, and he's exchanged messages with my dad. He doesn't want to talk to me, and will put a restraining order on me if I go to his home.

I'm going to quit drinking, apparently I am not a good drunk. But I don't remember ANYTHING! What should I do, wait a bit? I mean I don't want to lose him as a friend and every time I've actually became this awful person and messed with him was while I was drunk. I'm just so annoyed that he really took anything seriously, I mean haven't we all said things and done things we regret while drunk?

What should I do??

Stingroo
05-20-11, 04:50 PM
I'm just so annoyed that he really took anything seriously, I mean haven't we all said things and done things we regret while drunk?

Yes, that makes perfect sense.

I'm so pissed off because like, this dude took the death threats and interest in killing someone seriously. I mean, come on, that shit just doesn't happen!

Get real dude. You need to get off the sauce. I wouldn't be friends with you either if that's how you were.

vincentm
05-20-11, 05:42 PM
Two words:

Grow up

Ranger
05-20-11, 06:01 PM
You reap what you sow. Now you have to PROVE you are not that way. That will be a slow process.

Having said those things, how do you really know that you won't act on it some day when you mix drugs and alcohol? Two years ago my neighbor (who was on meds and was drinking) came across the street to my house looking for me. Mind you, I had never had so much as one cross word with him. Fortunately I was at work. When my wife told him I wasn't home he became angry and then displayed a pistol, but never threatened anyone. He got very strange for the next year and was hauled away three times in cuffs (that night being one). They got divorced and he finally went back to California last year. His wife moved back in and later told me that he was convinced that I was in the mob and was after him. In hind sight, I think I may have dodged yet one more bullet. Thank God I wasn't home. Needless to say, our friendship was over. My point, in case you haven't got it by now, is you don't really know what you will do when you mix drugs and alcohol. The fact that it was in your mind and the drugs and alcohol brought it out is something you should be very concerned about. You are right, you are NOT a good drunk and giving up drinking you be a good first step. Good luck to you.

Submariner409
05-20-11, 06:27 PM
Dear Abby,
I get drunk and scare people. They don't like me. I pop pills, get drunk, and tell them I want to kill things. People don't like me.

What should I do ?? ......Nasty Person

__________________________________________________ ______________

Dear Nasty,

Dry out. Grow up.

Abby

ga_etc
05-20-11, 06:51 PM
I don't think anyone is a good drunk when they've had THAT much to drink. But you do obviously need to learn your limitations regarding alcohol. And mixing meds and booze is NEVER, EVER, a good idea.

Sounds like if you really want to keep him as a friend you'll have to allow him some time to cool off, and let him see that you've quit drinking. It's going to take a long time to earn his trust back after an incident like that, if you ever earn it back at all.

Everyone makes mistakes, even the best of us. The cold truth of life, though, is that sometimes we can't recover completely from them.

drewsdeville
05-20-11, 06:54 PM
Wait, you guys believe this enough to answer? Joined a Cadllac forum May '11 and this is the first thing posted? C'mon now...

ThumperPup
05-20-11, 07:39 PM
im confused did this person just join the forum to post this ?


back on topic now

Go to a Dr get meds take them feel better about yourself and don't act stupid
we all have doen stupid things some more stupid than others but all in all we all have doen something strupid before
and we learn from our mistakes and then avoid them in future atleast some of us do

Jesda
05-20-11, 07:47 PM
Wait, you guys believe this enough to answer? Joined a Cadllac forum May '11 and this is the first thing posted? C'mon now...

http://www.cadillacforums.com/forums/cadillac-cts-first-generation-forum-2003/230411-i-totaled-my-c5-time-new.html#post2597190

"common" now

orconn
05-20-11, 08:41 PM
Sounds as though you are a bullying ******* when you are sober, who becomes a malevolent sadistic bastard when drunk!

First of all you should stop drinking completely, then take some of that hoped for $12,000. from your totalled Corvette and get some psychiatric help with your personality problems.

It seems that your conscious mistreatment of those that you thought of as friends might have registered with you as unreasonable and undesirable behavior on your part. Obviously it was just a precursor for feelings unleashed by the alchohol, and drugs you consumed. I hope your remorse is due to some for of conscience and not just remorse for losing a friend. Get some professional help in dealing with your demons within.

Jesda
05-20-11, 08:42 PM
Being the arrogant, stupid ******* that I am

I think you've identified the root cause.

DouglasJRizzo
05-20-11, 08:48 PM
Okay, so there is this dude in our group. He's a year older than me. Really, really good hearted guy. Being the arrogant, stupid ******* that I am, sometimes I make him feel insecure or freak him out because he's easily manipulated and tricked.

Well, a few nights ago at a friends house I got WASTED. Extremely. Not only that, but I was told by a less than reputable source that my pain meds (from wrecking my corvette) would not interact with alcohol. BS.

On the way home, I told him some really freaky stuff. I am only going by what has gotten back to me because I remember nothing. I told him that I like to torture things for fun and that I wrecked my car on purpose, or something crazy like that. I told him that I valued no life I that I didn't care, and that I'd like to kill someone.

Obviously NONE of this is true about myself, I was just really drunk and freaking him out EXTREMELY bad. I invited him to the house apparently and brought him to my room and told him more messed up stuff.

He called my dad at work the next day to say that he fears for his life around me and that I should see a psychologist. Well, maybe I should because I feel the need to pick on my friends, but not for any of the fake things I told him.

I tried so many times to apologize, and he's exchanged messages with my dad. He doesn't want to talk to me, and will put a restraining order on me if I go to his home.

I'm going to quit drinking, apparently I am not a good drunk. But I don't remember ANYTHING! What should I do, wait a bit? I mean I don't want to lose him as a friend and every time I've actually became this awful person and messed with him was while I was drunk. I'm just so annoyed that he really took anything seriously, I mean haven't we all said things and done things we regret while drunk?

What should I do??

DO NOT APPROACH OR CONTACT HIM AGAIN. The damage can only be undone over a LONG AMOUNT OF TIME. He will accept your apology when he is ready and NOT BEFORE.

Leave him be.

GET HELP. See a counselor. DO IT NOW. Your behavior can be corrected BUT ONLY IF YOU GET HELP.

Heed my words.

Destroyer
05-20-11, 09:02 PM
Truth comes out when you are drunk. :alchi::alchi::alchi::alchi::alchi:

ThumperPup
05-20-11, 09:42 PM
Truth comes out when you are drunk. :alchi::alchi::alchi::alchi::alchi:

good reason not to drink

Rolex
05-21-11, 12:05 AM
Great first post. :cheers: :alchi:

jayoldschool
05-21-11, 02:37 PM
puphumper>1milecrash

Skiller.
05-21-11, 03:13 PM
A good solution to your problem would be to stop drinking, and try to make new friends :D

It's up to him if he ever wants to see you again.

1MileCrash
05-21-11, 05:05 PM
It's getting worse... I've talked to everyone and he's actually calling for my "banishment" from the group, which isn't going to happen really. So in the end if he refuses to go anywhere where I am it might be him who drifts away from us, because of me. :confused:

orconn
05-21-11, 05:34 PM
If the "group" is smart (no telling these days) you are the one that should be "banished!"

1MileCrash
05-21-11, 06:19 PM
If the "group" is smart (no telling these days) you are the one that should be "banished!"

Right. I'm looking for advice to fix this, not to hear you all whine about what a big meanie I am. I am at fault, I know that.

Stingroo
05-21-11, 06:21 PM
We're not whining. We're making sure you know that you're a first-class jackass.

That said, put on your big boy pants, and deal. If he doesn't want to be your friend anymore, too bad so sad. You sucked at it anyway, it seems.

jayoldschool
05-21-11, 07:20 PM
Right. I'm looking for advice to fix this, not to hear you all whine about what a big meanie I am. I am at fault, I know that.

Try the site below, instead of a car website:

http://www.oprah.com/community/mb_list_landing.jspa

JimmyH
05-21-11, 08:28 PM
http://www.cooleywire.com/jimmyh/pics/gif/troll.jpg

Jesda
05-21-11, 08:54 PM
Right. I'm looking for advice to fix this, not to hear you all whine about what a big meanie I am. I am at fault, I know that.

Offer your friend a handjob.

Destroyer
05-21-11, 09:03 PM
Offer your friend a handjob.
Oh man! :nono:

Stingroo
05-21-11, 09:04 PM
Forgiveness... The Jesda Way!

jayoldschool
05-21-11, 09:08 PM
Offer your friend a handjob.

I lol'd. For real.

orconn
05-21-11, 09:12 PM
Hey, Anti-Whiner, the advice you have gotten is on the money ....... stop drinking, get professional help! It doesn't help to admit you are in the wrong unless you are prepared to do something about it. There is no "credit card" fast solution to your problem. Find new friends and get professional help to find out why you are such an ass hole! Nuff said!

Destroyer
05-21-11, 09:20 PM
Hey, Anti-Whiner, the advice you have gotten is on the money ....... stop drinking, get professional help! It doesn't help to admit you are in the wrong unless you are prepared to do something about it. There is no "credit card" fast solution to your problem. Find new friends and get professional help to find out why you are such an ass hole! Nuff said!Herein lies the key. :cool2:

I~LUV~Caddys8792
05-21-11, 10:08 PM
Sober up, call a shrink and get your self figured out. If he's calling for you to be "banished" from the group, then he's not gonna come around to you anytime soon. Maybe over the course of a few years, he'll forget about it, or forgive, but telling the group to banish a long term friend (I'm assuming you've been friends for a while) is pretty drastic and is a sign that he truly doesn't consider you a friend anymore.

Submariner409
05-22-11, 03:01 PM
Calcutta TROLLING lures - "The best damn bait you'll ever drag !"

billc83
05-22-11, 04:22 PM
It's getting worse... I've talked to everyone and he's actually calling for my "banishment" from the group, which isn't going to happen really. So in the end if he refuses to go anywhere where I am it might be him who drifts away from us, because of me. :confused:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gg0pnCk81sg

JimmyH
05-22-11, 08:32 PM
Offer your friend a handjob.

that's the best advice I have seen to date

Koooop
05-23-11, 12:45 AM
:hmm:

Um... Welcome to the forum?

Florian
05-24-11, 01:06 AM
two words:

douche bag


F

I~LUV~Caddys8792
05-24-11, 01:13 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gg0pnCk81sg

LOL. For some odd reason I had that exact episode stuck in my head today.

ewill3rd
05-24-11, 09:58 AM
If you are 21 and you already have this problem you need to do two things of great importance.
1. Seek professional help, such as counseling for yourself. You probably have some family history of alcoholism and pretending that it isn't a problem and stopping drinking won't help you very much if any.
2. Find some support, AA or ACOA are good programs and can help you realize that you don't suffer your pain by yourself. Lots of people are in the same boat.
If you find help you will get better.

No we don't all do stupid stuff when we get drunk. I haven't. Not because I am some self righteous a-hole but because I know that drinking has never produced anything good or "helped" anyone. I don't have problems with people that have a beer to relax or drink some wine with dinner. Drinking to get plowed and act stupid is just that, stupid... and destructive.

As for your friend, keep your distance and work on yourself and your issues. If your friendship was meant to be it will heal itself.
When you get help you will find ways to mend your relationships.

CadillacCastle
05-26-11, 04:41 AM
Get on the Jerry Springer show or the Steve Wilco show and tell us your story or smoke a little herb to mellow you out.

Jesda
05-26-11, 05:27 AM
Maury would hook him up with a nice hotel

Stingroo
05-26-11, 10:06 AM
He can't be on Maury unless he slams a bunch of chicks and none of them remember that he's the father.

CadillacCastle
05-26-11, 10:35 AM
Remember, if you go on the Steve Wilco TV show you won't get to sit down. So prepare to be standing. a lot. Steve would spring for a free plane ticket and Hotel room.

concorso
05-26-11, 12:58 PM
Just stop drinking. Youre not mature enough to handle alcohol.