: Post Your Automotive Bafoonery



Sevillian273
04-25-11, 07:53 PM
From simple washing/waxing all the way up to complete engine rebuilds, as enthusiasts, we all do stuff to our cars. Unfortunately as humans, we all make a bone headed mistake once in a while. Sometimes its silly, sometimes it's disastrous, or even life-changing... But the fact is, although most of us have egos that wont let us tell anyone, we've all done it.


My first big Homer Simpson moment involved a rear drum brake job when I was 19 or 20. Everything went great until I put the last wheel on. While the tire was off the ground I gave the lugs an initial torque and lowered the car off the jack. Then I got a phone call and went inside. The next day I headed off to work. Halfway there the wheel came loose, went underneath, throwing the rear into the air and as the car crashed down to the pavement, the wheel rolled past me into the median. There was nothing left of that brake except for the mangled axle studs. DOH!


Another asshat move not long after that was when I installed a distributor at top dead center on the exhaust stroke. Buttoned her up, turned the key, chug chug KABOOM! You know those 'ready-pop' popcorn things that you put on the stove? That's what happened to the muffler! Oops!


A couple other brain farts that come to mind on my cadillac:
-Ruined a ball-joint changing a CV for the first time http://www.cadillacforums.com/forums/cadillac-seville-cadillac-eldorado-forum/161051-seville-cv-axle-replacement-w-pics.html I thought the ball joint fork was clear of the boot. I was wrong.

-Like an an ASS, I ASSumed that left and right cylinder banks were referenced by standing in front of the pulleys. http://www.cadillacforums.com/forums/ht4100-4-1-4-5-4/188717-what-would-cause-o2-sensor-turn.html I was chasing a L/R fuel imbalance issue. I figured out the culprit - a sluggish O2 sensor. I proceeded to test on the wrong side of the engine!


Sh*t happens. What's your story?

Swallow your pride and poast if you dare....

Destroyer
04-25-11, 09:21 PM
I'm trying hard to think of something but I'm perfect so there was never any "bafoonery", lol. :suspense:

Sevillian273
04-25-11, 09:32 PM
Yeah me too. I made all that stuff up. It never happened. In fact, the sun actually shines out of my anus.

The thing about the internet is that we get to filter everything about ourselves. We get the time to calculate every move and compose everything we say and do to our liking in order to portray ourselves as the person we 'want' to be or at least the person we 'think' we are. So a thread like this goes against many of the fundamental things that make the internet great.

ted tcb
04-25-11, 09:53 PM
I'm trying hard to think of something but I'm perfect so there was never any "bafoonery", lol. :suspense:

Ummm, you purchased a DeVille with bad headbolts.:)

Aron9000
04-25-11, 10:09 PM
I HATE locking lug nuts. Boogered one of them up so bad on my Brougham that I couldn't get the wheel off. Had to take it to a tire shop to get it off, not sure what sort of black magic they used, but they didn't booger up the spokes on the wheel(real wire wheels).

Changing the plug wires on my 93 Toyota truck. Figured out it was a lot easier if I took the distributor cap off(distributor sits vertical) after I spent 30 or 40 minutes removing the first three wires. Realized that it was impossible to remove the bottom wire without removing the cap. Then realized if I had undone that one screw and took the cap off to start with it would've taken 2 minutes tops to remove the old wires.


Leaving the dome light on is my preferred way of draining the battery. Done lost track of how many times I've done that, but its been at least a year since I did that one.

Destroyer
04-25-11, 10:25 PM
Ummm, you purchased a DeVille with bad headbolts.:)YES!!! I did do some automotive "bafoonery", I purchased a N* Cadillac and proceeded in investing money into it to make the way I want it and then it blew up on me. I stand corrected and am a bafoon.
!!!!

BlackCadillac91
04-25-11, 10:25 PM
Hmmm I guess I'd say the time I replaced a fuel tank on a mustang and forgot to plug the pump back in would be my best. Can't think of any at the moment. Most of my mishaps came from goofing around. Offroading and sucking in water, drifting a corner only to hit a patch of ice and bump a tree (no damage!). Racing an old car (my first car, a 1995 merc sable gs) and blowing a hose, thought it was my head gasket so I called AAA and had them tow me home LOL. One of my favorites is when I spent $400 to put flowmasters on my 02 5.3L Tahoe instead of replacing my bald, dry-rotted tires when I had no money to begin with haha.

Idk, I'm sure I've got more but being 19 I'd say I still have time to make more mistakes ;)

I figure the best thing to do is to learn from the dumb things you do and try to remember them the next time youre doing something similar.

cadillac kevin
04-25-11, 10:47 PM
tried to replace my wiper blades and dented my hood. I attempted )unsuccessfully) to replace the wiper blades from the side of the car, then I realized it might be easier if I could get at them by being directly infront of them. so I climbed up onto the hood and got up to the wipers. still couldn't get them off. so I started backing off the hood (I was on the hood braces ). well my foot slid off the brace and the metal made a pop ka-pop sound. I got off the hood and looked at it- I put a huge ass ripple in the hood (not noticeable unless you're sitting in the drivers seat, which annoys me more). I still havent changed my wiper blades -cant get the old ones off. fail.

oh yeah- then I put a bose stereo system in my car (cost me maybe $130 total including all new wiring, 10 amps and speakers and 2 head units). sounded good until the amps started going out (stupid junky $1 capacitors) . 1 works at 1/3 volume, 1 whines, and the back 2 have really bad alternator whine and arent at the same volume level (1 is just starting to go out). I'm now in the process of installing an all new stereo system. the bose amps and speakers have been disconnected and just sit there looking fancy.

drewsdeville
04-26-11, 12:34 AM
After gaining some experience over the years, stuff like this doesn't happen much anymore. But the buffoonery that has happened is still quite vivid.

Use of the firewrench up here in the rust belt is pretty much necessary. I've started my fair share of small fires under a car or two. I guess you gotta keep the torch away from fluid soaked areas and plastic wheel well liners and such. Who woulda thunk it?

Started a larger fire using a cordless drill near exposed gasoline. That was fun. Definitely lost some arm and eyebrow hair on that one.

Old jack collapsed and car fell while replacing a ball joint. No damage, no harm, surprisingly. Finally decided jack stands were a good idea even if I wasn't under the car.

Almost welded a wrench to the car by lazily leaving a battery connected.

In the early days, was stupid enough to buy into magic fix-it potions in a can. As I continued to wrench and learn, I quickly realized how retarded I was for spending money on various oil and fuel additives. Took me a few times to realize that my fuel injectors worked fine before the treatment as well as after the treatment, yet my wallet was getting lighter...

Other stuff.

Aron9000
04-26-11, 12:36 AM
tried to replace my wiper blades and dented my hood. I attempted )unsuccessfully) to replace the wiper blades from the side of the car, then I realized it might be easier if I could get at them by being directly infront of them. so I climbed up onto the hood and got up to the wipers. still couldn't get them off. so I started backing off the hood (I was on the hood braces ). well my foot slid off the brace and the metal made a pop ka-pop sound. I got off the hood and looked at it- I put a huge ass ripple in the hood (not noticeable unless you're sitting in the drivers seat, which annoys me more). I still havent changed my wiper blades -cant get the old ones off. fail.


http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS3ikrScUOm1Kjs5-9v6lsNZcRv8OHGYHDyQiEAxRrclLJfK7lJ&t=1

Sorry, but that is epic fail on the wiper blades.

Next time you do it, turn the wipers on while the car is running. When they are halfway across the windshield, turn the ignition off and thus they are frozen right where you can get to them, instead of under the hood.

ben.gators
04-26-11, 12:38 AM
I checked my engine oil level, added some oil and then I was stupid enough to forget to put back the cap, and I drove the car without oil cap for about one month!!!

Sevillian273
04-26-11, 06:24 AM
I once poured in fresh (and expensive) synthetic oil into the crankcase only to have it dump right down into the drain pan. Who needs a drain plug anyway?

Stingroo
04-26-11, 07:20 AM
When installing my Lumina steering wheel I didn't realize that I never put the bolt back onto the shaft. Got cut off a few miles later and slammed on the brakes - wheel came right off and hit me in the chest. :lol:

Turns out my friend who was with me had put that nut in his pocket absentmindedly. D'oh. No harm done though, just fail.

Submariner409
04-26-11, 09:15 AM
I stand corrected and am a bafoon. !!!!

Well, heck..........That's a cut above balloon, baboon, buffoon, barroom, and boneafone.

Ranger
04-26-11, 09:57 AM
I was pored in fresh (and expensive) synthetic oil into the crankcase only to have it dump right down into the drain pan. Who needs a drain plug anyway?
Today they'll charge you $150 for that and call it an engine flush.

ejguillot
04-26-11, 10:19 AM
I checked my engine oil level, added some oil and then I was stupid enough to forget to put back the cap, and I drove the car without oil cap for about one month!!!

I did that, but only for a week. Still have an oil stain on the insulating pad beneath the hood, even after 3 years and 20 or so degreaser baths later.

thebigjimsho
04-26-11, 12:20 PM
YES!!! I did do some automotive "bafoonery", I purchased a N* Cadillac and proceeded in investing money into it to make the way I want it and then it blew up on me. I stand corrected and am a bafoon.
!!!!
Don't worry, you're still PWNED.

thebigjimsho
04-26-11, 12:31 PM
I had my FG2 shocks finally go on my '04 CTS-V. I then bought used QA1 shocks. Installed. Underdamped. Tried different spring rates and uninstalled and reinstalled the shocks another couple times. Finally, I got the rebuilt. Still not optimal.

Finally bought some T2 shocks and the rears worked GREAT. So 2 days before a long trip to Chicago, I install the fronts. The shocks have been on/off the car at least a 1/2 dozen times by now. As I tighten the last bottom mounting bolt to the suspension, SNAP!

The bolt is sheared into the lower control arm. I tried everything trying to get it out. If I don't get it done, no trip to Chicago. I end up drilling the out bolt right through the entire control arm. And then find a large, long bolt and nut to clamp it all down.

I didn't overtighten that bolt on that occasion but must have on a previous install. A few hours of hell for that mistake...

thebigjimsho
04-26-11, 12:32 PM
Maybe I shouldn't have gotten the job done. It was on the way back from Chicago that I wrecked that V...

TheRedSharon
04-27-11, 05:57 PM
Automotive buffoonery? I've got two. First, I got up one morning and added coolant directly into my radiator. I drove the car that day, got up the next morning and drove to a doctor's appointment. I pulled up in the driveway , turned the car off, and was about to go inside when I noticed that my car was steaming. Turns out, I left the radiator cap off the previous morning and boiled all my coolant off.

My second Idiot Moment happened when I was running late for a dentist's appointment. My mother was parked in front of me, so I had to wait for her to move. I then tried to squeeze my big ol' Caddy between her Blazer and my neighbor's car. The end result? I put one hell of a dent in my back right door. And before you ask, no, it WON'T buff out.

Sevillian273
04-27-11, 06:04 PM
One time I had a minivan parked behind me and the owner had left. I put my jack under the front subframe and scooted it down the drive way. That time, the bafoonery was on her part.

thebigjimsho
04-27-11, 06:14 PM
I pushed a friend's Suzuki Swift up a snowbank with my SHO. I'd never seen her so pissed...

ga_etc
04-27-11, 06:32 PM
She should have been pissed for having to pay for a Suzuki Swift.

thebigjimsho
04-27-11, 06:46 PM
She should have been pissed for having to pay for a Suzuki Swift.
Oh no, she had an '88 GTi with the 1.3 liter twin cam. That little sucker could scoot!

thebigjimsho
04-27-11, 06:47 PM
Before she ended up marrying a friend of mine, she had a Mustang LX 5.0 notchback. She was a hottie.

ga_etc
04-27-11, 09:49 PM
The friend or the Mustang?

Sevillian273
04-27-11, 10:06 PM
Drove 30+ miles up to Cape Canaveral(think: space shuttle...) to buy a too-good-to-be-true 66K mile thunderbird for just $1300. That thing had to have 166K, hell maybe 266K! What a rusted, bondo smeared, piece of shite that was. http://www.cadillacforums.com/forums/community-lounge-introductions-general-discussion/213566-buying-1971-thunderbird.html 6 months later I hear that it's still sitting there. That whole debacle was saturated with bafoonery.

Stingroo
04-27-11, 10:09 PM
lol You funny.

Destroyer
04-27-11, 10:23 PM
Well, heck..........That's a cut above balloon, baboon, buffoon, barroom, and boneafone.
So does this mean I am making progress?:confused:

Submariner409
04-28-11, 11:10 AM
"Progress is our most important product.........."

You still have the ??? Mark VIII ???

GMAN12
04-28-11, 01:32 PM
I ordered an 02 Silverado right before I retired, It had a medium scratch in the radio faceplate, it was like that for 4 years. I was at my buddys house, hunting and we went into town when he reached over and peeled the protective tape off the screen, then I had a brand new screen. Now we both had worked at Cadillac, fixing Cadillacs for 30 years, We still laugh about that.

thebigjimsho
04-28-11, 07:30 PM
I ordered an 02 Silverado right before I retired, It had a medium scratch in the radio faceplate, it was like that for 4 years. I was at my buddys house, hunting and we went into town when he reached over and peeled the protective tape off the screen, then I had a brand new screen. Now we both had worked at Cadillac, fixing Cadillacs for 30 years, We still laugh about that.Now that's a roflcopter, right thurr...

thebigjimsho
04-28-11, 07:31 PM
The friend or the Mustang?
take your pick...

Ranger
04-28-11, 08:56 PM
I ordered an 02 Silverado right before I retired, It had a medium scratch in the radio faceplate, it was like that for 4 years. I was at my buddys house, hunting and we went into town when he reached over and peeled the protective tape off the screen, then I had a brand new screen. Now we both had worked at Cadillac, fixing Cadillacs for 30 years, We still laugh about that.

Classic :thumbsup:

Sevillian273
04-29-11, 10:29 PM
I forgot this epic slice of bafoonery - years ago I went to leave the parking lot at Lowes in my Marquis and it wouldnt start. Nothing at all when I turned the key. Had a guy give me a jump and still nothing, not even a click. So I called my friend up and I filled his tank for picking me up and driving me to Autozone to get a starter solenoid. Got back and put it in, STILL nothing. While I'm staring at the motor stumped, I leaned on the bumper and the car moved. IT WASNT IN PARK! Apparently due to all the slack in the AOD's linkage, it never made it past R. I was in the store for a half an hour while my car was outside ready to freewheel across the parking lot at any moment! :thepan: