: Help me not kill my son!



buddyg
04-20-11, 08:28 PM
Picked up my new V sedan last Thursday went to Texas on Friday and came home today. My 17 year old son Drove my car while I was gone and now my left rear Black Satin wheel has a massive scrap all along the outside edge. It looks horrible!!! What is the best way to fix this? Can the wheel be refinished or does it need to be Completely replaced? Now the next question how Much will this cost?

Lastly talk me off the ledge because I really want to Strangle him right now!

Caddy Wagon
04-20-11, 08:37 PM
Everyone makes mistakes. It's a wonder I'm still alive after all the stupid things i did when I was young. The wheel can be replaced for about $400 I believe. Or you can have it finished.

sharpermd
04-20-11, 08:39 PM
Well, this won't help much, but I just put my new black chrome wheels on about two weeks ago.
I managed to curb the rear drivers wheel yesterday in a moment of infinite carelessness.
Not sure if this is repairable, or if it's off to order a new rim.
So at least you don't have to blame yourself! :banghead:

SRTVIPER03
04-20-11, 08:41 PM
Retroactive abortion?

buddyg
04-20-11, 08:48 PM
Retroactive abortion?

Funny!

I know it is not that big a deal but it is frustrating.
I guess I can't talk much when I was 14 I smashed my
Sisters brand new car into a tree in the front yard!

Whoops!

Busabob
04-20-11, 08:53 PM
Plenty of places out there that can fix it and it is just a car but I'd be havin' a sit-down with junior!.

My Dad would have beat....my....a@@!!!

e6t
04-20-11, 08:55 PM
Your son killed a wheel in the fastest sedan made.

When I was 17, if I had ever gotten behind the wheel of a car that fast, I would have killed PEOPLE, including myself.

IMHO, its waaaaay too much car for someOne without significant driving experience.

Wheels are cheap.

jcollege
04-20-11, 08:58 PM
Take the keys with you next time!

Caddy Wagon
04-20-11, 09:02 PM
imho, its waaaaay too much car for someone without significant driving experience.


x2...

kyle's v
04-20-11, 09:04 PM
Your son killed a wheel in the fastest sedan made.

When I was 17, if I had ever gotten behind the wheel of a car that fast, I would have killed PEOPLE, including myself.

IMHO, its waaaaay too much car for someOne without significant driving experience.

Wheels are cheap.


I have to agree..

A CTS-V is a little much for a 17 year old. Might as well put him on a hayabusa.... WAIT that would be much worse:yup:

buddyg
04-20-11, 09:04 PM
Your son killed a wheel in the fastest sedan made.

When I was 17, if I had ever gotten behind the wheel of a car that fast, I would have killed PEOPLE, including myself.

IMHO, its waaaaay too much car for someOne without significant driving experience.

Wheels are cheap.

Oh he was not given permission to drive it while I was gone, that is one of the things that has me really upset. Believe me the idea of a 17 year old behind the wheel of this car is scary.

hulksdaddy
04-20-11, 09:04 PM
Ground him. Make him pay for a new wheel. Time tested parental techniques.

My father would have done this, AFTER I got the ass beating of a lifetime. And all would be deserved.

e6t
04-20-11, 09:07 PM
Ground him. Make him pay for a new wheel. Time tested parental techniques.

My father would have done this, AFTER I got the ass beating of a lifetime. And all would be deserved.


+1,000

Once my dad was done with me, I'd probably vomit at the mere sight of the car.

Kick his ass, seabass!

At a minimum, he pays for the wheels and associated costs.

newcadman
04-20-11, 09:51 PM
Oh he was not given permission to drive it while I was gone, that is one of the things that has me really upset. Believe me the idea of a 17 year old behind the wheel of this car is scary.


Look at the positive here, the "only" damage done was a damaged wheel. Could have been a lot worse ( hit a pole, hit a person, etc.,etc.). In this case, I'm sure you'll agree that if money, (his), will solve it( the damaged wheel), it's not a problem. The toughest part is yet to come for him, and that is him figuring out what he has to do to regain your trust from this point forward! Big problem on his part, IMO.

thebigjimsho
04-20-11, 11:41 PM
I would beat him senseless.

CTSV4now
04-21-11, 12:04 AM
If you don't kill him, the V most likely will. Gotta hide those keys in a better place!

musclesbmf
04-21-11, 12:24 AM
A good beating did us all good when we were kids. My question is, if the car is only a few weeks old, and not broken in, how hard did he drive it? Not trying to make it any worse for him, but I'm just saying...
Kids these days (maybe we didn't either) don't think there are consequences for anything. no corporal puishment in school, parents don't discipline, etc etc... Sorry, off my soap box.
At the end of the day, it's just a car and just a wheel...

Mark

GAGS-V2
04-21-11, 12:34 AM
Picked up my new V sedan last Thursday went to Texas on Friday and came home today. My 17 year old son Drove my car while I was gone and now my left rear Black Satin wheel has a massive scrap all along the outside edge. It looks horrible!!! What is the best way to fix this? Can the wheel be refinished or does it need to be Completely replaced? Now the next question how Much will this cost?

Lastly talk me off the ledge because I really want to Strangle him right now!

Well, first of all, who did not do something stupid when they were in that age group? I sure did and am lucky to be alive today. I hope he is more crushed by the "look" you gave him than even the arse whipping (which there should be some of that too). As has been said, make him pay for a new wheel (why get one fixed?). If you got it fixed you would be forever pis*ed at your son. When you cool down a bit, have the talk about what a two ton flying piece of metal can do to everybody around him (and to himself). If it doesn't look like he gets it, take him to the local Highway Patrol office and have them show some high speed wrecks to him. Lastly, enjoy your son, seventeen quickly turns to 30!

qictrk
04-21-11, 12:54 AM
The worst thing that happened was that you now can't trust him. At least not for a few years until he matures. Some form of punishment should take place to teach him respect for his parents wishes. Your the judge in decideing what is fair punishment. Of course, I am assumeing that he took it without your permission. If you gave permission, then he should simply pay for his damages, thats his responsibilty.
Cecil.............

SILVER-V
04-21-11, 01:04 AM
That really sucks, its fine that it was a mistake but if anyone of my sons would have taken my car without permission they would have lost all my trust. They have kept their trust and so I have let them take my car to school and even drag race it, all three still alive. Make him feel like you don't trust him, make him pay for the wheel or if he doesn't have a job, take away his car for a while. Hitting a 17 year old won't really get the message across, its a mental thing at that point.

e6t
04-21-11, 01:09 AM
Tell him that you had actually bought the v for him, but his actions show that he isn't mature enough for that much responsibility so it looks like you'll have to keep it for yourself.

mrl859
04-21-11, 01:28 AM
With all the times I hot rodded my dad's demonstrators, it's by the grace of God I never wrecked. It would have cost him his job, and that would have been the best case. You should have hidden the keys, as I so often did, but that's over and done. He's only human and a 17 year old male. Think Risky Business. Talk to or yell at him, make him buy a new wheel, ground him if appropriate, and drop to your knees to thank God there was no other damage (human or otherwise). IMO, you can't use corporal punishment on a 17 year old. Welcome to parenthood.

jordan00escalade
04-21-11, 01:29 AM
Just to lighten the mood...

Son sits down with father..

Father: Son I'm disappointed.

Son: blank stare (son is at loss of words)

Father: 1st and foremost, You drove my V without permission. You need to re-establish our trust... Now the most important lesson has been covered, how is it that your 17 and still don't know how to drive? I mean if you curbed my rim son.. That means you can't even park (head shake.. face palm). I knew you took after your mother, you owe me a rim.

lol.. you can replace the rim, be thankful your son is safe and he didn't body the V. If he doesn't learn anything from this, that's the worst thing that happened.

dvandentop
04-21-11, 01:48 AM
rear wheels are on back order now too :(


yeah would prob get whooped if it woulda been me at home but dad never had anything as nice as a V

jordan00escalade
04-21-11, 01:55 AM
Yea I would have gotten whooped, but... I know how sensitive people are about putting the smack down on your kids now days lol

Officer: Excuse me miss, we are going to have to place you under arrest for child abuse..

Lady: But he had a gun!

Officer: Yes, but he still has rights..

lol something like that

Tony407
04-21-11, 01:59 AM
Just to lighten the mood...

Son sits down with father..

Father: Son I'm disappointed.

Son: blank stare (son is at loss of words)

Father: 1st and foremost, You drove my V without permission. You need to re-establish our trust... Now the most important lesson has been covered, how is it that your 17 and still don't know how to drive? I mean if you curbed my rim son.. That means you can't even park (head shake.. face palm). I knew you took after your mother, you owe me a rim.

lol.. you can replace the rim, be thankful your son is safe and he didn't body the V. If he doesn't learn anything from this, that's the worst thing that happened.

As humorous is this is, I think it's a great approach.

Most importantly, how did you find out about it? Did he tell you? Did you have to ask him? And if so, did he lie about it? The fact that he "stole" your car is one thing, but to cover it up with lies is a whole lot worse in my opinion. The former is a mistake, undoubtedly one of many to come and will hopefully turn into a lesson. The latter says something about his character and will be more of a prediction of what will happen tomorrow, next month, next year, etc.

Don't kill him. Make him make all the arrangements to have it fixed or repaired, deduct the money from his allowance or paycheck, and make him read and study every page of the owner's manual followed with a grueling oral exam, with the stipulation he must pass it before you even consider letting him drive one of your cars in the future, let alone buying one for him, etc.

Tony

jordan00escalade
04-21-11, 02:31 AM
Tony has a point... At 17 lets face it your son is a young man. I was just looking at my son thinking.. If he took my car without asking what I would do. You know what came to mind? Every Saturday or whenever my ride got dirty, I'd have a free car wash for many many weeks ahead. Not just a car wash, a DETAIL. Since he likes the V so much, let him get real familiar with it without driving it for a while.

UWISHU1
04-21-11, 02:56 AM
Teenage kids suck.

Captivating via tapatalk

GARBAJ
04-21-11, 07:16 AM
I'm probably buying a manual. One very small reason way back in my mind is that my 16yr old wouldn't get near it. Regardless, given my anal retentive nature, he is loath to drive his own car and have me find something awry. I know, real healthy... In the words of Willie Nelson, "I may not be normal, but nobody is..."

GARBAJ
04-21-11, 07:19 AM
Tony has a point... At 17 lets face it your son is a young man. I was just looking at my son thinking.. If he took my car without asking what I would do. You know what came to mind? Every Saturday or whenever my ride got dirty, I'd have a free car wash for many many weeks ahead. Not just a car wash, a DETAIL. Since he likes the V so much, let him get real familiar with it without driving it for a while.

Shoot, nobody can wash the car without me having issues with it... My son would rather pick up dog crap in the yard for days on end than have that experience. I know, real healthy... See post above...

Prof
04-21-11, 08:14 AM
Buy a new wheel. It is brand new...don't repair it...keep the old one around to remind your son of what can happen when he does not think clearly...we have all done things at that age that we regret. Use the situation as a teaching opportunity. Love your son...if this is the worst that he ever does, you will have a wonderful relationship with him for years to come. If he takes anything without permission again...stuff his testicles down his throat without detaching them.

buddyg
04-21-11, 09:58 AM
As humorous is this is, I think it's a great approach.

Most importantly, how did you find out about it? Did he tell you? Did you have to ask him? And if so, did he lie about it? The fact that he "stole" your car is one thing, but to cover it up with lies is a whole lot worse in my opinion. The former is a mistake, undoubtedly one of many to come and will hopefully turn into a lesson. The latter says something about his character and will be more of a prediction of what will happen tomorrow, next month, next year, etc.

Don't kill him. Make him make all the arrangements to have it fixed or repaired, deduct the money from his allowance or paycheck, and make him read and study every page of the owner's manual followed with a grueling oral exam, with the stipulation he must pass it before you even consider letting him drive one of your cars in the future, let alone buying one for him, etc.

Tony

Well here is the greater complication. My 23 year old son and his wife were staying with my kids. The 23 year old drove it to Walgreens, my 17 year old drove it to work, his Grandma's house and school.

When I got home I checked the car over and nearly killed over when I saw the wheel. No one told me about it, I had to find out on my own. The 17 year old said he didn't do it. (Of Course) I haven't spoken to the 23 year old yet.

I plan to get it replaced and give them both the bill and tell them to work it out on who is paying me back. I am sure they will both deny it, as the 17 year old already has.

Teutonaddict
04-21-11, 10:11 AM
Ground him. Make him pay for a new wheel. Time tested parental techniques.

My father would have done this, AFTER I got the ass beating of a lifetime. And all would be deserved.

Amen! This brought up haunting quotes from yesteryear... "I can't make you stay away from my car. But I can make you wish you did!!"

NightshiftHD
04-21-11, 10:12 AM
Take the keys with you next time!

Great advise ... I did the same thing when my 2 kids were teenagers whenever I was away on business for a few days. The key hook in my briefcase ALWAYS carried the keys to my special cars and Harley. It's the only way I left home and felt at ease that Dad's toys were home safe and sound waiting for my return! Bill

Teutonaddict
04-21-11, 10:29 AM
The 23 year old drove it to Walgreens, my 17 year old drove it to work, his Grandma's house and school.

The 17 year old said he didn't do it. (Of Course) I haven't spoken to the 23 year old yet.

Did either one take it to an automated car wash? You said the rim had a scrape all the way around--I've seen the guide rails on auto car washes carve a groove around the circumference of a wheel. That could be one explanation where neither realized what was happening.

buddyg
04-21-11, 10:42 AM
Looks like a scrape from a curb. Like pulling up at
The Walgreens drive thru?? Or fast food.

e6t
04-21-11, 10:51 AM
i read this thread to my 5 and 2 year olds. then preemptively kicked their asses. that should about cover driving daddies cars without permission.

Razorecko
04-21-11, 12:05 PM
Find out who did it. Yell at them furiously. Make them pay for a new rim. On their next b-day buy them a day of "auto-x" training so they know how to drive a car

jordan00escalade
04-21-11, 12:38 PM
Your 23 year old was the elder in charge during your absence. He didn't really set the bar by driving your V, then he wasn't accountable for your younger son taking the vehicle out and bringing it back damaged.. (If he's even the one who damaged it). Then when you got back he could have atleast reported, "hey, nice car dad we drove it a little.. didn't think you'd mind." Wasn't him being there suppose to remove a little doubt or concern about what your younger child is doing while your away?

FATHER: so what happened? (what can we take/learn from this?)

23 Year OLD: (apology would be nice here)

Lord Cadillac
04-21-11, 01:53 PM
Can't blame the kid for being too tempted to take out a brand new Cadillac CTS-V. :p

mrl859
04-21-11, 03:00 PM
i read this thread to my 5 and 2 year olds. then preemptively kicked their asses. that should about cover driving daddies cars without permission.

Almost spit out my dark chocolate covered raisins on that one!

perfect
04-21-11, 04:27 PM
When I was 18 (I'm 27 now) my dad moved to Connecticut for a new job and so he wouldn't disrupt my senior year in high school. He, unfortunately, forget to take the keys to his brand new E39 M5 with him and I simply could not resist taking it to school and joy-riding it after my mom would leave to visit him.

One day I made the mistake of downshifting into 2nd on the freeway when I was aiming for 4th. The engine revved really high and then there was smoke and the shifter was stuck halfway in between 2nd gear and neutral. It was 1:00AM on a Saturday and I had to have the car towed on a flatbed and pushed into the garage as it would no longer start.

Needless to say I thought about running away, killing myself, pretending that it never happened and leaving the country. I had a few weeks until my dad was supposed to come home and would inevitably find his baby sitting in the garage with whatever pending problem it had. I agonized for days about what to do. I finally decided to call him a few days before his arrival and tell him what I had done and would offer to have them sell my car (the ones that they bought me) to repair any and all damages (unfortunately I had very little money saved on my own and would have no ability to repay him).

Through a trembling voice and fighting back tears I explained what happened while he sat on the phone and didn't say a word. I figured I was dead and pretty much made a mental list of all of my possessions that I wanted to take with me as I left the house for good later that night. My dad told me he needed to "think about things" and would speak to me when he returned home later that week.

LONGEST WAIT OF MY LIFE. My mom refused to say a word to me and I figured my impending doom was going to be horrible.

He got home and I hid in my room waiting for the inevitable.

Dad walked around his car and did some inspecting. Jacked it up. Tried to start it. Sat in it the car and fiddled with it. The wait was probably only minutes but it felt like days. It was agonizing wondering what type of punishment I would receive.

Then I heard his foot steps coming up the stairs. He opened the door and sat on the edge of my bed. He pulled out his wallet and thumbed through some business cards and credit cards and pulled out a dull orange business card and put it in front of me. It said:

"GET OUT OF JAIL FREE"

It was a monopoly card.

My grandfather gave my dad the card when he (my dad) flipped over his father's 67 chevelle while racing through the backwoods of Maine. My dad gave me the card that day for what I had done to his M5. I keep the card in a safe place and will someday give it to my son when he inevitably wrecks one of my cars.

It can only be used once but boy was I glad to use it then.

We laugh it about it to this day and when my dad first took my 05V for a solo cruise around the block he politely reminded me of what I had done to his car all those years before.

As a side point - BMW fixed whatever happened to the car for free. No idea why...it had about 2500 miles on it and they came and towed it away and a week later the car was back and fixed and didn't cost my dad anything...never really knew why.

jordan00escalade
04-21-11, 04:46 PM
Perfect.. that's about one of the greatest stories I've ever heard.

RippyPartsDept
04-21-11, 04:54 PM
I heard someone say that they used one of those cards on a cop once and it worked!

Prof
04-21-11, 05:47 PM
Great story. Those are the things that remain in our hearts...long after Dad has been gone...

GM-4-LIFE
04-21-11, 07:21 PM
I wouldn't mess with repairing it. Get a new one from GM and be done with it. You can get it new from Luke at Lindsay for less than list.

I did a lot of stupid shit when I was his age, so give him a break. Come to think of it, I used to take my dad's car out joyriding around the neighborhood when I was 14! Thank god I never got caught for that.

Tony407
04-21-11, 09:02 PM
Thanks for sharing that story with us, Perfect. One of THE best I've heard on this forum. Do you mind if I copy and paste it for my own collection of really cool stuff? Maybe even share it with some of my fellow psychology students?

Tony

perfect
04-21-11, 10:38 PM
Thanks for sharing that story with us, Perfect. One of THE best I've heard on this forum. Do you mind if I copy and paste it for my own collection of really cool stuff? Maybe even share it with some of my fellow psychology students?

Tony

I'm glad that it was entertaining. Of course you can use it for whatever you want.

My dad is a lot more careful about leaving the car keys hanging around now!

thebigjimsho
04-21-11, 11:24 PM
Father: Son I'm disappointed.

http://youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/son-i-am-disappoint.gif

GAGS-V2
04-22-11, 01:32 AM
Looks like a scrape from a curb. Like pulling up at
The Walgreens drive thru?? Or fast food.

FAST FOOD? In a V? Now we are talking major trouble, a scraped wheel, door ding=bad. FAST FOOD in the V?:eek:

jordan00escalade
04-22-11, 01:54 AM
lol thebig... I almost fell out the chair on that one

I am your father luke.

Tony407
04-22-11, 04:12 AM
FAST FOOD? In a V? Now we are talking major trouble, a scraped wheel, door ding=bad. FAST FOOD in the V?:eek:

Any food in the V is "fast" food. LOL

Tony

Nutz
04-22-11, 09:57 AM
BuddyG Jr.,
Start paying dad some money even if it's a mere $50 a week. You may just have a sliver of a chance and driving dad's cool car again. Don't forget how dangerous that car can be and not to mention what it costs.

BuddyG Sr.,
Please hide the keys better. If that doesn't work then refer to Bigjimsho's advice in reply #15. This could have been alot worse, believe me I've seen it in the Corvette and Viper Forums.

z06vett
04-22-11, 10:59 AM
In Atlanta we have a place called wheel wizard they can repair it. Check with your dealer in your area they probably have someone that can repair it.
z06vett

Andringa
04-22-11, 12:26 PM
I'm going to climb up on my soap box and say that you should be the one apologizing to your kids. Hear me out...

You started a family and had kids. Then you spent 17 or 23 years (Sounds like you don't know who did it) raising them in such a way that they don't see a problem with borrowing your $60k+ car without permission and returning it damaged. I haven't been a parent as long as most of you, but I absolutely can not stand when parents blame their kids for poor behavior or lapses in judgement. Look at this as a fairly inexpensive opportunity to explain why their actions were wrong and that you expect better out of them in the future.

//Off soap box//

Depending on how bad it is, z06vett has a good point, I've seen wheel repair companies do amazing things.

concorso
04-22-11, 12:36 PM
Well here is the greater complication. My 23 year old son and his wife were staying with my kids. The 23 year old drove it to Walgreens, my 17 year old drove it to work, his Grandma's house and school.

When I got home I checked the car over and nearly killed over when I saw the wheel. No one told me about it, I had to find out on my own. The 17 year old said he didn't do it. (Of Course) I haven't spoken to the 23 year old yet.

I plan to get it replaced and give them both the bill and tell them to work it out on who is paying me back. I am sure they will both deny it, as the 17 year old already has.Its possible it happened at Walgreens without your older son knowing it. Someone shopping could have swipped a cart against the wheel...there are alot of possibilities I think...

I did a similar thing to my dads then new '96 'vette with alot less power then the V.. I mashed the throttle going around a tight turn onto a main road, spun the back end (luckily no traffic) and broke a wheel plus some other suspension bits, beat up the body a little, etc. When he saw it, he gave me a look of death, tho he never yelled or got angry. He said that the car was too much for someone who just started to drive. He was pissed that I didnt wait to let him introduce me to the car properly. He was shaken up, saying it could have been much worse ,something I didnt really understand at the time. I was taken off insurance of my parents' other vehicles the same day he found out, and I never drove that 'vette again. I ended up paying him back for all damages over the next 2 years. He also cancelled plans to help me buy my first car. I ended up getting a handmedown craptastic accord that barely ran.
Id be upset at both sons, and Id stipulate that for the forseeable future, neither are allowed in the car when youre not around, unless its turned off and they have a vacuum in their hands.

buddyg
04-22-11, 01:06 PM
I'm going to climb up on my soap box and say that you should be the one apologizing to your kids. Hear me out...

You started a family and had kids. Then you spent 17 or 23 years (Sounds like you don't know who did it) raising them in such a way that they don't see a problem with borrowing your $60k+ car without permission and returning it damaged. I haven't been a parent as long as most of you, but I absolutely can not stand when parents blame their kids for poor behavior or lapses in judgement. Look at this as a fairly inexpensive opportunity to explain why their actions were wrong and that you expect better out of them in the future.

//Off soap box//

Depending on how bad it is, z06vett has a good point, I've seen wheel repair companies do amazing things.

You have no idea what your talking about. My kids are actually very good and responsible. One lapse of their part does not make them bad. Stick to what you know.

:mad2:

e6t
04-22-11, 01:32 PM
I'm going to climb up on my soap box and say that you should be the one apologizing to your kids. Hear me out...

You started a family and had kids. Then you spent 17 or 23 years (Sounds like you don't know who did it) raising them in such a way that they don't see a problem with borrowing your $60k+ car without permission and returning it damaged. I haven't been a parent as long as most of you, but I absolutely can not stand when parents blame their kids for poor behavior or lapses in judgement. Look at this as a fairly inexpensive opportunity to explain why their actions were wrong and that you expect better out of them in the future.

//Off soap box//

Depending on how bad it is, z06vett has a good point, I've seen wheel repair companies do amazing things.

this post is full of fail.

judgement is not something you can teach.

jordan00escalade
04-22-11, 01:36 PM
lol.. Who's never done anything behind their parents back? I hope we're not all raising bad parents lol That statement kinda tickled me, coming from someone with no children lol I can't wait till he has some kids, then they can let the good times roll.

GAGS-V2
04-22-11, 02:26 PM
[QUOTE=Andringa;2570131]I'm going to climb up on my soap box and say that you should be the one apologizing to your kids. Hear me out...

You started a family and had kids. Then you spent 17 or 23 years (Sounds like you don't know who did it) raising them in such a way that they don't see a problem with borrowing your $60k+ car without permission and returning it damaged. I haven't been a parent as long as most of you, but I absolutely can not stand when parents blame their kids for poor behavior or lapses in judgement. Look at this as a fairly inexpensive opportunity to explain why their actions were wrong and that you expect better out of them in the future.

HaHA. Oh my, that just made my day! Let me get this right from your post, YOU blame the PARENTS in this? I'm laughing so hard my sides hurt. It's people like you that really need a checkup! I guess YOU were lily white growing up and NEVER did anything wrong. You must live in a blue state and believe in the tooth fairy too. Wow, i think I have seen it all now!

khoeysr
04-22-11, 03:22 PM
I would beat him senseless.

Then I would get some Clorox, trash bags and a saw, and take him for a boat ride.

Andringa
04-22-11, 04:51 PM
So I probably could have worded it differently. The V1 forum has been a little slow lately, maybe subconsciously I was just looking to stir the pot.


You have no idea what your talking about. My kids are actually very good and responsible. One lapse of their part does not make them bad. Stick to what you know.
I really wasn't trying to be as condescending as I came off. The point that I was trying to make, was that if you are positive that it was damaged while being driven with out your permission and they aren't doing what they can to fix it for you then that reflects on how they were raised.


this post is full of fail.

judgement is not something you can teach.
I disagree, judgement is an accumulation of a life time of being told what is right and what is wrong. You are not born knowing that you should ask for permission to drive a car.


lol.. Who's never done anything behind their parents back? I hope we're not all raising bad parents lol That statement kinda tickled me, coming from someone with no children lol I can't wait till he has some kids, then they can let the good times roll.
We've all done stuff behind our parents back. That is why I think that it is foolish to get upset and blame the child. As a parent you should be expecting it and plan accordingly. I actually have a 1 year old and one on the way, so I'm sure that you are correct and my beliefs on parenting will change drastically in the years to come.


HaHA. Oh my, that just made my day! Let me get this right from your post, YOU blame the PARENTS in this? I'm laughing so hard my sides hurt. It's people like you that really need a checkup! I guess YOU were lily white growing up and NEVER did anything wrong. You must live in a blue state and believe in the tooth fairy too. Wow, i think I have seen it all now!
I am glad that I could make your day! I never said that I was perfect or that I never made bad decisions (I still do).

Garymonnecka
04-22-11, 05:37 PM
I'm sure no one wants to hear it from me lol but I'm 18 and if it means anything, if I ever did anything like that to my dad's car I would call him and tell him what happened and just wait for the yelling at of my lifetime. The worst part for kids about situations like this is that you know it was wrong, was stupid, etc., and you actually AGREE with your parent and don't blame them at all for yelling. It just feels like crap lol. That is worse than paying for the rim 10 fold Good luck with the rim, the punishment, and the kids. -my .02

mrl859
04-22-11, 06:52 PM
You have no idea what your talking about. My kids are actually very good and responsible. One lapse of their part does not make them bad. Stick to what you know.

:mad2:Andringa:Your kids must be perfect? Not knowing anything about you or your children, I find the best parental advice comes from those with no kids. Do you have any kids in their teens or older? If not, hold on for the ride of your life. If so, well done Dr. Spock (not be confused with the character Leonard Nimoy played). My kids (not really kids anymore) have never been arrested, drunk, stoned, or gone missing for days on end. I've been blessed beyond my worth in that aspect OR I'm the perfect father (yeah, right). Still my kids, much like their dad, did stupid stuff and got in "trouble". It happens, especially with boys. If every poor behavior and lapse of judgement is the parents' fault, the parental suicide rate is WAY too low. Again, I have to feel your children are still young and boy are you in for a shock!

Buddy G:It sounds like this may be the worst thing one of your kids has done? If so, bravo on a job well done. Be furious, but realize what many people in America put up with. Just watch Fox News for about an hour. Then drop to your knees and thank God again for how badly this could have turned out. Think Nick Hogan.

e6t
04-22-11, 07:35 PM
I disagree, judgement is an accumulation of a life time of being told what is right and what is wrong. You are not born knowing that you should ask for permission to drive a car.

judgment is on the fly. kids can be taught right and wrong and follow the best example, but in the end, their judgment is just that. a kid can be a damned fine example of a kid and exercise bad judgment at some point. it really has no bearing whatsoever on the parents. you can impart wisdom on a child and lead them by example all day long... but at the end of the day, they are going to weigh the pros and cons of that which lies in front of them and make a decision. the decision could be good and right or bad and wrong. judgment lies solely on the shoulders of the individual making the decision. period.

buddyg
04-22-11, 08:50 PM
So I probably could have worded it differently. The V1 forum has been a little slow lately, maybe subconsciously I was just looking to stir the pot.


I really wasn't trying to be as condescending as I came off. The point that I was trying to make, was that if you are positive that it was damaged while being driven with out your permission and they aren't doing what they can to fix it for you then that reflects on how they were raised.



You really should quit while you can.

The latest is my 17 year old son has offered to pay for it and said he was with my 23 year old at the time he drove the car and he knows for a fact that the 23 year old could not be responsible.

He has offered his next paycheck as a down payment and will pay for the wheel in full.

My kids (through lots of prayer and things I have learned from my own parents to pass on to them) have never been in serious trouble. They are very respectful, productive and well respected by their peers and other parents.

That is why I take offense when someone who has no clue what they are talking about begin saying anything about them or my parenting.

Thanks everyone for your support, suggestions and humor. In the end it is a minor bump in the road and I am thankful that is all it is.

Tony407
04-22-11, 09:26 PM
I really wasn't trying to be as condescending as I came off. The point that I was trying to make, was that if you are positive that it was damaged while being driven with out your permission and they aren't doing what they can to fix it for you then that reflects on how they were raised.

This is an over generalization. While some things children do (or adults for that matter) reflect on how they were raised, some things do not. A parent can do a horrible job being a parent and have a "perfect" child. A "perfect" parent can still end up with horrible child. Is there a correlation? Yes. Is it a perfect correlation? Absolutely not.

Tony

Andringa
04-22-11, 09:26 PM
Guys, I sent buddyg a PM, but I'm going to step out of this thread before I put my foot in my mouth again.

See you around.

jordan00escalade
04-22-11, 09:37 PM
Who's mistakes are we suppose to be learning from?

serturbo
04-22-11, 10:29 PM
Isn't it funny how we can complain about our parents, kids, brothers and sisters until forever.... but we're the first to come to their defense as soon as someone else says anything bad about them? LOL

Tony407
04-22-11, 11:01 PM
Isn't it funny how we can complain about our parents, kids, brothers and sisters until forever.... but we're the first to come to their defense as soon as someone else says anything bad about them? LOL

I think he was taking offense at the suggestion he was a bad parent. Which I can understand. But I see your point too.

Tony

thebigjimsho
04-22-11, 11:11 PM
I'm going to climb up on my soap box and say that you should be the one apologizing to your kids. Hear me out...

You started a family and had kids. Then you spent 17 or 23 years (Sounds like you don't know who did it) raising them in such a way that they don't see a problem with borrowing your $60k+ car without permission and returning it damaged. I haven't been a parent as long as most of you, but I absolutely can not stand when parents blame their kids for poor behavior or lapses in judgement. Look at this as a fairly inexpensive opportunity to explain why their actions were wrong and that you expect better out of them in the future.

//Off soap box//
I agree, in very general terms.

There are going to be some kids who will rebel or show poor judgment no matter how they have been parented. And for most kids, bad judgment is a part of growing up.

But to take something that doesn't belong to you, and is a prized possession of someone you love, is egregious. There was a lapse in parenting at some point(again, in general terms) for that kid to even try it.

Every person that walks this earth is imperfect. Each has strengths and weaknesses. Thus, each will have points that they can teach their kids. But some areas of parenting will be better than others. At some point, your kids will make bad decisions based on what their parents failed to instill in them. And sometimes they will make bad decisions, regardless...

mrl859
04-23-11, 01:17 AM
Isn't it funny how we can complain about our parents, kids, brothers and sisters until forever.... but we're the first to come to their defense as soon as someone else says anything bad about them? LOL

That's because we've EARNED the right to do that. No one else has earned that right.

mrl859
04-23-11, 01:22 AM
I agree, in very general terms.

There are going to be some kids who will rebel or show poor judgment no matter how they have been parented. And for most kids, bad judgment is a part of growing up.

But to take something that doesn't belong to you, and is a prized possession of someone you love, is egregious. There was a lapse in parenting at some point(again, in general terms) for that kid to even try it.

Every person that walks this earth is imperfect. Each has strengths and weaknesses. Thus, each will have points that they can teach their kids. But some areas of parenting will be better than others. At some point, your kids will make bad decisions based on what their parents failed to instill in them. And sometimes they will make bad decisions, regardless...Here's the difference, as I see it. In a close family, at that age, what is your parents' is the family's in a way. Most things are community property. You don't ask permission to get something from the fridge, for example. Taking the car out was wrong, but not the same as stealing someone else's car. I hope this makes sense, as it sure does inside my head.

Stingroo
04-23-11, 01:33 AM
All I know is: If I ever took my dad's car for a joy ride and damaged it, I had probably better start writing my will as soon as I arrived back home.

Glad all seems to have ended well though.

buddyg
04-23-11, 08:05 AM
Andringa sent me an apology via pm. I have accepted it. End of that story.

I am definitely not a perfect parent or person. But again my kids are wonderful. Was I upset that my brand new car had a trashed wheel, absolutely. Is my son an awful person, no way. Our children will reflect us as parents, I must have done something right along the way because the OVERALL reflection is very good.

My wife has a lot to do with the way my kids have turned out.

mrl859
04-23-11, 10:53 AM
My wife has a lot to do with the way my kids have turned out.
+1 times infinty squared!

TrevorD
04-23-11, 11:27 AM
I'm going to think out loud...coming from a single guy without kids. :D Mistakes definitely happen. They call it young and stupid for a reason! Your judgment at that age sucks at least 50% of the time. That's not really a product of good or bad parenting. That's a product of growing up and thinking you have life figured out. My grandpa always used to say there's a reason that the youngest guys are on the front line; they think they're invincible. This is no exception. Your son didn't see the harm in taking your new V for a ride, and he never expected ANYTHING to happen that would ever tip you off that it was moved from the garage. It's bad judgment, plain and simple. I bet this incident becomes a story he some day tells to his children. Thank GOD that this is the worst you've had to deal with. I'm sure your face said it all. Your son has done the right thing in the end, and he also stood up like a man and did not try to pass the blame on to his brother.

As for the whole bad parenting debate, people in general have to also accept the fact that as kids grow up and become adults they also become their own person. You can do everything in the world right, but people will still make bad choices. I'm not referring to the OP's kids here; I'm talking in general. My brother and I were raised the same way, but we are VERY different people! He lacks good judgment calls, both for himself and his kids. We don't really get along because I just can't take seeing my niece and nephew get the bad end of his bad decisions. I don't look back on growing up and feel that my brother and I were raised differently. We're just two very different people, in every way imaginable.

On a side note, the get out of jail free story is one of the best I've heard!

Trevor

e6t
04-23-11, 12:01 PM
How many of you went and pulled out a get out if jail free card from the monopoly game and stuck it in their wallet?

RippyPartsDept
04-23-11, 12:40 PM
:postpics:

...

but seriously... where's the picture of the carnage?

buddyg
04-23-11, 04:32 PM
Here you go.

Also my son got his first paycheck ever in his life. He signed it over to me, to the tune of $200.00. I know it was hard but this begins the lesson. Few hundred more and he will feel much better.

Caddy Wagon
04-23-11, 05:14 PM
That was a pretty good curb check he did there. Luckily the tire is OK.

wfo
04-23-11, 06:55 PM
IMHO and .0002 worth.

Whether it be merely from a price point of the vehicle or the "high performance/get out of control real quick perspective...A 17 year old kid whether good, great, awesome, eagle scout, honor roll, loving, kind or stand out athlete kind of kid, etc, of course you love them. No argument. But..This kid had no place being in this kind of car, period.

Why or how would he assume he could just get in that car if he didn't expect to get killed for doing so?

Of course things can be replaced, but who cares. Wisdom is born through experience(s). Let him/her bust their ass to earn the level of coin it takes to own something real nice and if he/she wants to thrash it without regard or make a mistake in judgement when driving it then let them have it.

Sorry V comrad...truth is, it's too late to kill him...Your fault. Done, conversation over.

JimmyH
04-23-11, 07:26 PM
i did one helluva lot worse in a car when I was 17 http://www.cooleywire.com/jimmyh/pics/gif/biggrin.gif

Stingroo
04-23-11, 07:31 PM
Only thing I ever did in my parent's car was I hit a fence once because I misjudged pulling into the driveway in the big assed Grand Marquis we owned at the time. All it did was break a plastic piece in the bumper, and I went back to the scrapyard and replaced it, even though mom didn't care.

mrl859
04-23-11, 07:38 PM
Here you go.

Also my son got his first paycheck ever in his life. He signed it over to me, to the tune of $200.00. I know it was hard but this begins the lesson. Few hundred more and he will feel much better.
Oh snap!

mrl859
04-23-11, 07:40 PM
In reality, isn't it amazing any of us ever reach adulthood? Even if it's only chronologically, for some of us......er, I mean some of you.:)

JimmyH
04-23-11, 08:03 PM
I never even put a scratch on any of my parents cars. I knew better than to misbehave in theirs. I did a real number on many of my own. My mom was wise enough to prevent me from having fast cars when I was a kid. And put a big fat veto on a motorcycle. Probably saved my life.

RippyPartsDept
04-23-11, 09:22 PM
thanks for the picture... waaaay worse than what i had envisioned from your description

Cub Cadet
04-23-11, 10:46 PM
When I was 17, I decided it was a good idea to try and jump a 1992 Mustang GT over an abrupt bridge. I went down the road, never slowed for the bridge, and made the jump.... Dukes of Hazzard style. I skined the entire underside of the front silver ground effects. I realized what I had done (nevermind I could have killed myself doing it) and got paint to fix it before I got home. It was all fixed for the next day. Funny part was my mom screwed it all up years later.

thebigjimsho
04-24-11, 08:48 PM
When I was 17, I decided it was a good idea to try and jump a 1992 Mustang GT over an abrupt bridge. I went down the road, never slowed for the bridge, and made the jump.... Dukes of Hazzard style. I skined the entire underside of the front silver ground effects. I realized what I had done (nevermind I could have killed myself doing it) and got paint to fix it before I got home. It was all fixed for the next day. Funny part was my mom screwed it all up years later.
Not in my parents' car, but my own. Dukes Of Hazzard'd my Chevy Citation over an old bridge that crossed over railroad tracks. Very steep incline and decline. 82mph. RETARDED!

But, in that front heavy car, it launched and landed perfectly on the other side. I should've played the lottery that night...

JimmyH
04-24-11, 09:20 PM
I got some air on cuba road once, probably not the same.

hunterkiller
04-27-11, 03:26 PM
Ditto

buddyg
04-27-11, 03:51 PM
Just got the new wheel on my car today. $600.00 including tax and swapping it out.

They charge $60.00 for the core if you want to keep the damaged wheel. Since the wheel is not structually damaged (just severely scrapped) how much would it cost to refinish? It may be worth it to keep the wheel for $60.00 pay $100.00??? to refinish and then sell for $300.00??

JimmyH
04-27-11, 05:03 PM
get a tire and keep it as a spare for road trips

RippyPartsDept
04-27-11, 05:13 PM
:yeah: don't even bother finishing it up unless you really feel like you need to

Bushidopupil
04-27-11, 07:20 PM
My turn....don't you just love your children....Day 6 of owning a brand new 2008 BMW 335xi....daughters tricycle falls of a hook in the garage at 4am, hits my bike, my bike falls into passenger rear door.....I come into the garage, can't see that side of the car, back out and leave a three foot scratch down the side.......
Day 14....son blows serious chunks in back seat after drinking red colored Hi C.....
Day whatever, about two months later....I can't stop with crappy runflats in the snow and hit a curb at 45MPH.....AARRRGGGHHHH, broke a tierod and other stuff 5500+ in damages.....

Such is LIFE.....

However, I have had my V Coupe since 18 Dec and not one bad thing has happened... :-O getting ready....

mrl859
04-27-11, 10:15 PM
My turn....don't you just love your children....Day 6 of owning a brand new 2008 BMW 335xi....daughters tricycle falls of a hook in the garage at 4am, hits my bike, my bike falls into passenger rear door.....I come into the garage, can't see that side of the car, back out and leave a three foot scratch down the side.......
Day 14....son blows serious chunks in back seat after drinking red colored Hi C.....
Day whatever, about two months later....I can't stop with crappy runflats in the snow and hit a curb at 45MPH.....AARRRGGGHHHH, broke a tierod and other stuff 5500+ in damages.....

Such is LIFE.....

However, I have had my V Coupe since 18 Dec and not one bad thing has happened... :-O getting ready....Many many moons ago, an aquaintance of mine had his kids "help daddy" by repainting his black '83 Capri with touch up paint. If it had been me, I think my body would have just shut down.

Bushidopupil
04-28-11, 03:00 PM
Many many moons ago, an aquaintance of mine had his kids "help daddy" by repainting his black '83 Capri with touch up paint. If it had been me, I think my body would have just shut down.

OH, and did I forget to mention that after the car was fixed, it was sitting in the garage next to my wifes GMC Acadia, and she door dinged it, then my son tried to ride his bike from in the garage to outside and fell into it putting two perfect handle bar dents, and a good scratch.....WOW, that car must have been cursed...lol

mrl859
04-28-11, 08:01 PM
Okay, here's one to raise the hair on the back of your neck. When I was a wee lad, my mother used to park her car so close to the other cars that I couldn't ride my bike into the garage. Repeatedly, out of frustration, I used to intentionally gouge the paint on her '71 Olds 88 with my bicycle brake pull handle. As mentioned in an earlier post, it's amazing we are all still alive.

Trapspeed
05-12-11, 06:45 PM
Two words: "Installment plan". :thumbsup: Make him pay it off to you. That'll make him think twice! Seriously though, good luck with getting it remedied. I'm sure it just sucks.

Stumeat
05-12-11, 07:08 PM
I think I'm fortunate. I tought my nephew to drive at 8 and ten years later gave him the keys to my V! He is a GREAT driver and I think he drove it better than me (other than the 1.01g on the dash!). But he is in the minority. Best of luck and enjoy that damn thing!