: 2012 Town Car is a wagon.



Jesda
02-15-11, 07:24 PM
http://jesda.com/2011/02/15/2012-lincoln-mkt-town-car/

http://www.freep.com/article/20110214/BLOG40/110214055/With-poll-Lincoln-s-new-limos-keep-Town-Car-name-

http://www.caranddriver.com/news/spied/10q4/2012_lincoln_mkt_hearse-future_cars/gallery

http://jesda.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/2012_lincoln_mkt_hearse_cd_gallery.jpg

I'd rather be cremated.


Lincoln previously told us that the MKT would be filling the Town Carís livery roles. What we didnít expect was that any such results would be so unsightly. While the MKT is a bit awkward looking to begin with, stretching it a couple of feet between the wheels, adding about six inches of rear overhang, and then capping the roof with what appears to be a swamp boat that flipped over and crashed makes a strong case for cremation.

We find it inconsistent that funeral directors spend so much time and effort beautifying their clients only to transport them in the back of this thing.

Stingroo
02-15-11, 08:02 PM
I'm offended.

I'd definitely rather be cremated. Or dumped in a river, jeez.

RightTurn
02-15-11, 08:33 PM
...and then capping the roof with what appears to be a swamp boat that flipped over...

:rofl:

orconn
02-15-11, 08:39 PM
Hearses have been growing uglier over the years, but this is rediculous! Maybe this will start a move to retro-hearses. A 1955 Cadillac hearse wouldn't be a bad start, bet it would geta lot of business from the families of car guys!

ga_etc
02-15-11, 08:56 PM
Wow, that's really bad. I'd rather spring for a Kia Optima Hearse.

drewsdeville
02-15-11, 09:01 PM
I agree with Orconn, hearses haven't looked good in decades. The trend continues to progress.

hueterm
02-15-11, 09:04 PM
I'm waiting for when those things crap out after 100,000 miles of heavy use (whether livery, cab, or hearse), and are probably 25-50% more than a comparable Panther.

Then I'll laugh.

And I'm sure that ugly thing is what every bride dreams of leaving the church in...

ThumperPup
02-15-11, 09:07 PM
that just makes me sick

goes again all my beliefs im jewish and against cremation but please burn me

drewsdeville
02-15-11, 09:14 PM
100,000 miles of heavy hearse usage :eek: Sort of humorous when you think of a hearse hopping curbs, doing holeshots, and making laps around the cemetary :P

But really, the D3 is a beast of a platform. I'm sure it will at least meet and probably even exceed the panther's performance and reliability characteristics.

orconn
02-15-11, 09:14 PM
I'm waiting for when those things crap out after 100,000 miles of heavy use (whether livery, cab, or hearse), and are probably 25-50% more than a comparable Panther.

Then I'll laugh.

And I'm sure that ugly thing is what every bride dreams of leaving the church in...

Most of the weddings that I have been (forced to go to lately) the bride has demanded, and gotten, a vintage Rolls-Royce to cart her to the alter. They have all been white, and to be honest monotonous as hell! So maybe the retro hearse idea has some merit!

I~LUV~Caddys8792
02-15-11, 09:31 PM
This is awful. I hope when I die they'll drive me to the cemetary in some sort of '80s era full sized hearse....Brougham, Town Car, et al.

77CDV
02-15-11, 10:03 PM
So it's come to this. They really should have let the TC name die in peace. How they can call that POS a TC is beyond my grasp.

hueterm
02-15-11, 10:11 PM
They're not...it's an MKT. (Not that that's good...)

EDIT: OMG, nevermind -- I actually just read the article. How blasphemous...

thebigjimsho
02-15-11, 11:12 PM
No one wants to buy these things. I'll be picking up an '11 TC and hoping the XTS is big enough to work in a couple years...

hueterm
02-15-11, 11:17 PM
How old can a vehicle be before clients don't want to ride in them? Say you picked up a couple of low mileage '09s or something that had dropped in price...at what point do they become undesirable? Age or mileage/condition?

thebigjimsho
02-15-11, 11:20 PM
How old can a vehicle be before clients don't want to ride in them? Say you picked up a couple of low mileage '09s or something that had dropped in price...at what point do they become undesirable? Age or mileage/condition?
On my '07 I can turn off the odo. Everyone thinks it's new. The problem is when sensors and little knick knacks start failing as you near and pass 200,000 miles. If you can put up with that, drive it to 500,000. But my company wants us to keep our cars under 150,000. But they let me go a bit over. I'm at 195,000 right now...

hueterm
02-15-11, 11:23 PM
Do you get Ls or standard wheelbase? I'd be scoping out some '03+ creampuffs, get a couple of them and split the miles between them. Of course, your insurance would probably screw you then...

Playdrv4me
02-15-11, 11:36 PM
Christ... it's going to be more expensive to maintain AND it's farking hideous. The loss of panther continues to make it evident how underappreciated they were.

hueterm
02-15-11, 11:42 PM
The next post will be Drew... Tick tock...tick tock...

drewsdeville
02-15-11, 11:51 PM
http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/59/trap.jpg

You called that s***. Nice!

thebigjimsho
02-15-11, 11:54 PM
Do you get Ls or standard wheelbase? I'd be scoping out some '03+ creampuffs, get a couple of them and split the miles between them. Of course, your insurance would probably screw you then...
All Ls, baby! The problem is also the warranty. We get 3 years 150,000 miles. You can find lower mile older Ls once in a great while but you lose the warranty.

Jesda
02-15-11, 11:55 PM
I LOL'd pretty hard

Stingroo
02-16-11, 12:35 AM
I did as well. That was pretty good.

ben.gators
02-16-11, 01:37 AM
Well, at least the good news is I will be already dead when they put me in that ugly car and I will not see myself in that stupid weird car.....

Aron9000
02-16-11, 02:24 AM
I think I'd rather go to the body farm in Knoxville(google it) than ride in that abomination.

gdwriter
02-16-11, 03:38 AM
If any of my survivors put my remains in one of those hideous things, I swear I will haunt them.

DouglasJRizzo
02-16-11, 10:12 AM
How old can a vehicle be before clients don't want to ride in them? Say you picked up a couple of low mileage '09s or something that had dropped in price...at what point do they become undesirable? Age or mileage/condition?

As the owner of two vintage hearses, both of which had less than 20k on them when I bought them, I can tell you that in the funeral business, the vehicles are the funeral director's calling card. These are what you see with the nameplates in them as they amble down the road. Generally, whenever Cadillac, or Lincoln, changes the body style, the previous vehicles drop in value by a significant amount. I paid near nothing for vehicles that if they were DeVilles, or Broughams (or in the case of Lincoln a Conti or Town Car) would have brought much higher prices. In fact, I rescued both vehicles from a certain trip to the crusher.

The MK-T pictured really doesn't look that bad to my eyes. The mid 80s "daschund" look Cadillacs were much worse.

One of the problems with building funeral vehicles is cost. My 1975 Cadillac Superior Side loading hearse had a cost of over $35k in 1975. That was a STAGGERING amount of money for a car. My end loading 1976 Cadillac S&S Victoria Landau was over $30k. Again, a HUGE amount of dollars. Both are "Z code" commercial chassis vehicles, NOT converted sedans which is the way things are built now.

Up to the end of the 1984 model year, Cadillac supplied custom coach builders with what was known as a "commercial chassis" and you see this reference in the Owners Manuals all the time. It was a long wheelbase (longer even than the Fleetwood 75 Limousine) chassis with every heavy duty component that Cadillac could muster. After 1984, Cadillac supplied "decontented" sedans. Because there was no longer a long wheelbase chassis, coachbuilders were left to their own devices to produce vehicles that their customers wanted. Some made very credible attempts, but others were, well, not so successful. The "cut n splice" method used now doesn't always make a vehicle whose lines "flow" correctly.

The Town Car, and the late, lamented Brougham, had lines that did well when put into livery/limousine/funeral guise. But the other models, not so much.
As to how well the MK-T platform will hold up, that's anyone's guess. The Town Car has a 300k mile life. The old Brougham was similar. I'm not sure how the DTS based and MK-T cars will do. They may just surprise everyone and hold up, but as I've said elsewhere on this forum, I'm NOT a big fan of FWD/unit construction. I'd much rather see RWD/body-on-frame.

Time will tell.

I~LUV~Caddys8792
02-16-11, 09:41 PM
I wonder what Dullahan will think of this? :lol:

Stingroo
02-16-11, 09:46 PM
I think I'd rather go to the body farm in Knoxville(google it) than ride in that abomination.

Damn you Aron. I wikipedia'd that and somehow got on one of those two-hour long wiki tangents. I think I stopped about the time I got to an article about crytozoology and hoaxes. :bang2:

EChas3
02-16-11, 10:54 PM
Well, the guest of honor won't care what it looks like.

Destroyer
02-16-11, 11:16 PM
This is awful. I hope when I die they'll drive me to the cemetary in some sort of '80s era full sized hearse....Brougham, Town Car, et al.I'm thinking late 60's/early 70's Cadillac Limo. Those were the real deals..........:sneaky:

The-Dullahan
02-17-11, 04:34 AM
The only good Lincoln Hearses were made no later than 1989. Case Closed.

77CDV
02-17-11, 07:45 PM
Himself has spoken.

orconn
02-17-11, 08:27 PM
I may have seen a lincoln hearse, but I don't remember seeing one. I don't remember seeing a Chrysler hearse either.

DouglasJRizzo
02-17-11, 08:33 PM
Lincoln hearses were a rarity in the funeral business for years. Ford had only one authorized coach builder for funeral vehicles - Hess and Eisenhart. And they weren't a major player, so Lincoln hearses were a genuine rare site, usually for funeral directors who preferred Lincoln sedans as their personal cars. Ford refused to authorize other coach builders like S&S (eventually owned by H&E) and Superior until the early 80s when the downsized Cadillacs and lack of commercial chassis made the market just too inviting.

Chrysler had Imperial, but it was a unit construction vehicle after 68 and most of the custom coach builders had little knowledge or desire to work with it. Imperial limousines are a VERY rare site, during the 50s 60s and 70s usually no more than a dozen a year or so were built.

77CDV
02-17-11, 10:32 PM
I wanna be sent off out of this.
http://i197.photobucket.com/albums/aa237/cmchally/2009%20Grand%20National/069.jpg