View Full Version : Japanese Knockoff.

08-21-10, 05:10 AM
I know, I know, it is NOT a knockoff, but it's funny as hell to see one of these for sale. The Brougham variations of these cars were never exactly "common" and most have been turned in for scrap by now. Interestingly, in Japan, the people cannot tell the difference between a Cadillac and a Rolls Royce.


For a mere $18,000, you can ahve this delivered to "your best seaport world wide!"

As tempting as it is [read: as it is ugly] I will pass.

08-21-10, 04:04 PM
Holy, Moly! A Shinto Temple-mobile! It would make a great delivery truck for a Chinese Restaurant in San Francisco.

08-21-10, 05:28 PM
Only 28,000 miles? I sense LIES!!!!!!

08-21-10, 06:08 PM
My god, that's hideous.

08-21-10, 09:42 PM
Forgive the pun, but I'm morbidly intrigued, if only for the craftsmanship. Certainly would liven up the local car show.

Night Wolf
08-21-10, 09:52 PM
It's neat to see some of the changes needed for overseas - tail lights, fender lights, tag holder etc...

Pretty much just as "git it thurr n make it legal" as some things from Europe we got in the 80's

08-21-10, 10:26 PM
Three words: Towering Oriental Doom

08-21-10, 11:32 PM
It would make a great delivery truck for a Chinese Restaurant in San Francisco.I heartily concur, sir!

08-22-10, 12:03 AM
Actually, Paradox gets points for suggesting the Asian takeout first. To be honest, most of the Japanese temple hearses look a lot nicer than this, this one is beyond ugly. I am still not a FAN of them, but would respect their rareness, as most of them as old as this one were melted down over a decade ago. There are also "American" style Hearses in Japan (Typically Rolls and somehow...Fords?) Paradox also made suggestions of "gothic wood and gargoyle details" and may haps I shall do something like that one day and sell it to him, as the gears in my hear are now turning.

Japan earns points for using Hearses, for though they are a sea-locked country in that part of the world, they still take the time to have them ordered in. Many Asian countries use modified vans or even buses.

Josiah, to be honest, 28,000 miles for an '85 Hearse is not necessarily a lie. Hearses tend to come with low mileage...and interesting smells ans souvenirs.

Paradox, if you're reading this, that's a heads up to you if you ever go rooting around your interior panels.

A more common design stylization for Japanese Hearses:

And possibly the scariest Hearse ever. Yes Craig...it is a Prius.

I have actually met someone who owned a Temple Hearse, which he painted gold to match the rest. I should have sold those gold 22's to him, too.

08-22-10, 12:08 AM
the Folkloric part of me says to someday get one and cover it with spellscrolls and chain the doors, then add some fancy digital effects and fog and laser machines with an animatronic Oni of some sort in the back, complete with spiked club and use it to make money on the streets of Japan. This would never work though, as why would I want to go to Japan? One of my old Masters lives there, as least I could visit him.

08-22-10, 12:54 AM
The Priapism hearse isn't scary, merely dull. Like all the other Priapi.

08-22-10, 01:46 AM
Looks like they didn't modify the rear suspension to compensate for the extra weight..

08-22-10, 09:41 PM
Either that or it is worn out.

I don't know, Craig, I think I'd be scared of being in a Toyota hearse when Cadillacs are readily available. not just for their random ability to speed down the highway uncontrollably and apparent inability to downshift into neutral while doing so (Or are Toyota drivers just lacking cleverness?)

08-22-10, 10:50 PM
Hearses have been Cadillacs and Lincolns forever. Why change it?

08-22-10, 11:09 PM
Hearses have been whatever conveys "going in style" where ever around the world you looks. Packards were they hearse of choice in the U.S.'s better neighborhoods until that company's demise. But in Brazil a converted Ford was held in high esteam by the country fold, while the rich of Sao Paulo got coachbuilt Rolls-Royces. In Africa a converted jitney bus was the height of making the last trip. It all depends on where you are.

By the way, that is one snazzy dragon on top of that Toyota Crown hearse!

08-22-10, 11:26 PM
And the Suburban hearses from the 80's...Ew....

I like 80's Suburbans but...ew....

08-23-10, 12:56 AM
And the Suburban hearses from the 80's...Ew....

I like 80's Suburbans but...ew....

80's Suburbans always conjour up images of the Branch Davidians and David Koresh. No thanks!!!

And those Japanese hearses are just plain weird. Not so much the fact that it looks like a rolling Buddhist temple, but in the fact that they don't decorate any other parts of the car other than the back and part above the driver's cab. I mean might as well put some decorative gold painted wood on the front fenders, hood, grill, doors, etc.

08-23-10, 03:22 PM
Agreed. It looks absurd because it fails at matching the rest of the car, but then again, wouldn;t it still look absurd if the rest of the car WAS made to match it? The fact that the car is black also creates a horrible clashing effect.

No idea what or whom Branch Davidians and David Koresh are, but I think I like the old suburbans for nostalgic reasons from my youth. Interestingly, I did not see many and only ever saw two. the one my family had and an identical one we once passed on a backroad, but it has become a staple piece of my Pocono Mountain automotive memory. I wonder if the grey Buick wagon and those two triple-black Broughams are still running around up there...

08-23-10, 05:17 PM
You must have lead a very isolated existence, if at your age you saw very few Suburbans or Suburban type vehicles. For the las 15 years most of what are call SUV are really only gussied up Suburbans.

I think to myself, how can the Poconos be so isolated, but them I remember the Jersey Pine Barrons and answer my own question.

08-23-10, 05:54 PM
No idea what or whom Branch Davidians and David Koresh are.

Remember what happened in Waco Texas in 1993?

80's Suburbans always conjour up images of the Branch Davidians and David Koresh. No thanks!!

Time to buy an '80s Suburban, lol. :lol:

08-23-10, 08:39 PM
You must have lead a very isolated existence, if at your age you saw very few Suburbans or Suburban type vehicles. For the las 15 years most of what are call SUV are really only gussied up Suburbans.

I think to myself, how can the Poconos be so isolated, but them I remember the Jersey Pine Barrons and answer my own question.

I'm also talking about the early nineties. SUV's were never uncommon, but I only ever saw two Suburbans from that age group. As for isolation, I had a total of eleven residents in my village, albeit seven were myself and family. There was a neighbourhood down the mountain though, from what I have heard it looks like suburbia now, but when I lived there there were not even fifteen houses there.

08-23-10, 08:40 PM
Researched this "David Koresh"

Instantly it came back to me when I saw his image. Still not seeing the Suburban connection.

08-23-10, 11:38 PM
'Burabans do make good first call vehicles, though.

08-24-10, 12:00 AM
Researched this "David Koresh"

Instantly it came back to me when I saw his image. Still not seeing the Suburban connection.

That's what everybody in Texas drives, either a Suburban or a huge pickup truck. The wacko cult people always had Suburbans, 4wd was great for not getting stuck in the middle of nowhere on your 5000 acre compound, and you could take your 8 kids along.

08-24-10, 12:08 AM
I wonder what Jim Jones would have drove?


08-24-10, 01:47 PM
Yes Craig, Suburband and Chevy cans have always been favourite FCV's, when older hearses are not in use. Today, the large companies no longer build Suburban Hearses, but a few years ago we had Dodge Caravan Hearses and since around 2008, Escalade Hearses have become a new trend.

Night Wolf
08-24-10, 02:15 PM
The other day I saw a late model Town Car hearse. I think it was the first time I ever seen one, it looked odd to me.

In general, I just don't get the appeal of owning a personal hearse, but to each their own.


08-24-10, 06:23 PM
Yeah, Town Car hearse is hideous.

08-25-10, 01:52 AM
Yeah Sting, they typically are. Can't tell you what that Hearse is, as the photo keeps me from seeing barely any detail, besides that whomever ordered it wanted a lefty rear door, which most people end up with. The bumper guard is a common piece specifically on Superiors and S&S but that holds true primarily to Cadillacs, as fee other companies sell that option in high numbers. Nearly every hearse built from a Town Car ends up with that option. The Landau bars look Krystal-esque which is fitting as they're suckers for Town Cars.

To each their own indeed. I do not see the appeal to most cars people most people admire. As far as I see it, I will never need to bring a group of adults around in leather-seated luxury and even if I did, I can get an XG any time, save for my lack of parking spaces. I suppose most people who drive Hearses that I have ever heard of or met drive them because they are dumb Goth kids, who inevitably violate and destroy their cars, but still want to sell them for three times what they would be worth if the engine was running, which it seldom is, they are used for advertisement, sometimes for things that cannot be related to hearses in even the slightest way, equipment transport for bands, often punkrock or rockabilly and sometimes for shock value. If driving a car for attention, just do as FL does and hollow out your exhaust so everyone hears you coming, slap on a bunch of decals, put blue headlights in and don't forget that as "jawesome" as Camaro, Mustang or Mercedes is, please remember that you are not unique, as you will see an identical car to yours at every intersection. I suppose that makes my car unique at the least, as there ARE NO VINTAGE CADILLACS in this part of the state, nonetheless Hearses. I should rent my fenders to advertisement agencies. Ironically, my car is legendary locally and though nobody knows me, my car has gained infamy as I have not yet developed my cloaking technology that transforms my car into a Prius when I turn the ignition, but that is in development.

08-25-10, 01:55 AM
Chevy vans...not cans...

Night Wolf
08-25-10, 02:34 AM
To me a hearse represents or gives the impression of "death".

I just have no desire to think of, be reminded of, or feel like anything involving "death" everytime I get in/drive my vehicle.

Similar, I now see pickup trucks as "work". I see them at work, they are used for work, even towing/hauling stuff - it is still working. As such with few exceptions (older Toyota's etc...) I no longer have the desire to cruise around in a pickup truck as a daily driver like I once did. If I absolutley needed one for - work (of some sort) then I would own one. After spending a full day at - work, I don't want to walk out and get into a vehicle that reminds me of - work.

Another example would be my past '96 Town Car. Often remarked as a "living room on wheels". Yes, it was, and it did what it was made to do very well. But I was no longer interested in being reminded of my living room everytime I drove my vehicle.

That is ultimately how I came to really enjoy and desire my current vehicles. Sure most people would consider a BMW convertible and a Jeep to be exact opposites. But they both share a strong similarity - FUN. It dosen't matter where I am driving - to work, the store or cross country. I drive these vehicles and I am having fun. It dosen't matter that my Jeep gets 14mpg, I'm having fun driving it even on the road. Seeing either of these two vehicles in my driveway, in the parking lot at work or anywhere else conveys images or thoughts in my mind of - fun. I can even turn what would otherwise be "work" into "fun" - as I can load my utility trailer up with anything I'd put in the back of a pickup, and while the pickup would be "work", my Jeep w/ trailer still comes across as "fun"

Of course, this is just my logic - which no doubt is flawed to others. Atleast at this point in my life, everytime I get in my vehicle to drive somewhere, I don't want to be reminded of work, my living room or death. Instead I enjoy the fun.

08-25-10, 07:00 AM
I'm kind of surprised at how bad the Jeep's gas mileage is.


08-25-10, 08:06 AM
I'd never drive a hearse. They have a real creepy malaise that would be generally very off-putting to most of the general population. Not to mention the fact they're almost entirely useless on a day to day basis (there are only what, two seats in it?), handle like shit and are just plain morbid. It's rather like driving an ambulance or a fire truck every day, except ambulances and fire trucks don't bring images of funerals, cemeteries and death to the mind. Ya sure, you'll stand out, but at what cost.....? Maybe it's just me though, maybe most of the people around find someone driving an old hearse to be cute and funny, I don't know. I'm just imagining picking up a girl I just met to go on a date in a hearse and her getting all creeped out.

However, I do understand your desire to own a car that's not seen everywhere all the time. For me, if I wanna stand out and buy a car that's not seen very often anymore, I'll just go find myself a really nice '80s era Town Car or Brougham that's in mint, unmodified shape and leave it as nice as can be. Because that's truly, truly hard to find anymore, one of those that's unmolested, not rusty and just the way that they were intended when they rolled off the showroom floor.

08-25-10, 12:24 PM
I would drive a hearse. Most definitely.

It's a super wagon with fewer seats. :lol:

Plus, I got to drive The Dullahan's hearse for a brief period - that thing was butter smooth and just plain awesome.

Night Wolf
08-25-10, 01:22 PM
I'm kind of surprised at how bad the Jeep's gas mileage is.


Why are you surprised?

The aerodynamics haven't changed in 60 years, but it got bigger. More frontal area = more drag.

The engine isn't all that efficent, yet it dosen't really play a big roll as the new JK Wrangler has a more efficent engine, yet gets only 1mpg better.

There is a LOT of unsprung weight on a Jeep. On top of that, there are no lock-out hubs. The entire front axle/driveshaft is always turning in 2wd/highway etc... No power is being sent to them, but it is still turning, which adds drag.

Then add a lift, which increases frontal drag area, larger tires, which increase rolling resistance, and all the off-road stuff added which increase weight.

A Jeep is most efficent at 60mph. Anything over that and gas mileage drops fast. 70+ and it is a big drop. I usually set the cruise to 65 on the highway.

When my Jeep was totally stock, I got as high as 21mpg - once. Most the time it was 17mpg. Now I get 14-15mpg. I still have the factory 3.73 gears, and I should technically be running 4.56s, but I am not going to regear the Jeep with my 33" tires as I plan to move to 35s at some point and then the proper gearing would be 4.88. That should help out my mileage a bit too.

When I was driving my cars, I would often think/wonder about the gas mileage, but with the Jeep? It just dosen't matter as it is what it is and there is nothing else like it that compares.

08-25-10, 01:38 PM
Yeah I don't think I would give a sh*t about gas mileage in a Jeep either. I'd be too busy doing crazy shit with rocks, woods, beaches, and the like. :D

08-26-10, 10:39 AM
OMG that is totaly out of it

08-27-10, 01:27 AM
I'm kind of surprised at how bad the Jeep's gas mileage is.


Better than mine.

Ironically, I drive a Hearse and wish it DIDN'T stand out, but alas, the car is Infamous and I visit place I have never been and the car's reputation precedes us, even today at some place called Jo-Anne's Fabrics.

If I had to get a car that looked good and turned heads, a nice 80's Brougham would be a nice bet, as I adore those cars. If not, I'll steal my Sister's fancy Zimmer, but since I'd have to go all the way to The Holy Land in Pennsylvania to get it, I may as well take a certain other car that is PROMISED to be bestowed to me someday.

Hearses may remind people of death, but death is a part of life and has had a deep connection to my own since the day I was born. Then again, when you follow a polytheist religion and there are countless Gods or Godesses whom can be your Patron Diety and thereby, own you as their property and you are born on the weekday, in the month, on the date and in the calendar year of The Goddess of Death, I guess it's only natural I was saved and raised by some crazy weapons expert in a cemetery who raised me as my Mum. Ending up with an affinity for older cars and Hearses seemed only natural when she collected both (among other strange things, that looking around my home I now notice adorn my walls and shelves as well)

On point about those Lincolns, I suppose my memories riding around in the same style Town Car back in my youth didn't so much remind me of my living room, as there wasn't enough wood, fireplaces or wrought iron, but that car was the first impression I ever had of what a "Modern" car looks like inside and outside. By comparison to the other cars I have spent time in or have been owned by either of my families, my car is in familiar company, because even today, with my three half-sisters, two half-brothers, one full brother and sister, my birth parents and then on my adoptive side with myself, my two sisters-from-other-misters, their birth parents and the adoptive mother who raised us, there are many cars, more than I could ever count, but only TWO cars that were not built in the 80's or prior, so my car is basically the newest of the bunch. Besides that I had a deep connection to this car when I bought it in Massachusetts and purchased it for very specific reasons instead of even duplicate cars, an '87 was the latest year I would have purchased anyhow, because why purchase a machine younger than me?:bigroll: