View Full Version : Mom's birthday. Gift for someone who has everything?

04-18-10, 01:39 AM
1. My mom is awesome.
2. I'd like to convince her to pay for grad school.

What do you get someone who has a lot of money, a lot of stuff, and basically needs nothing?

04-18-10, 01:54 AM


No, but really. I'm usually pretty good at this. I'll get back to you later.

04-18-10, 04:51 AM
From your past comments, there is something your Mom would really like from you. You have said on several occasions that your Mom would like for you to at at least complete your undergraduate degree, so buckle down and get your behind back in class and get your bachelor's degree. And while accomplishing that degree, workout a plan for your next step ...whether it will be further formal education or an entreprenurial pursuit, or both. With your undergraduate degree in hand and a cogent plan for the future you may find financing additional education is not as daunting as you may have imagined!

04-18-10, 05:28 AM
Yeah, but let's work on a bribe.

c5 rv
04-18-10, 07:29 AM
Can you think of some job that needs to be one around your mom's place that just hasn't been done due to lack of time or motivation? Something like refinishing a deck, painting a room, or cleaning up the garage or basement? You could even round up some friends and get it done in a few hours. If she really doesn't need anything, having you around doing something unexpected for her would be a great gift.

04-18-10, 08:37 AM
That sounds cheap -and- demonstratively generous. I think we're getting warmer. The live-in nanny does everything, including the gardening, and there's someone to take care of everything else around the house, even the auto detailing.

But on the subject of yardwork, gardening, and the outdoors, she loves plants. The back patio is basically a small jungle. I wonder if its possible to buy an already-growing papaya tree in one of those giant pots? Guess I'll make some calls. This guy is local, and he looks super serious:

04-18-10, 02:24 PM
Tell her that if she'll pay for your eucation you promise you'll leave the country and she'll never hear from you as long as she lives, like a remittance man.

Dark Side Remittance Men
Within Victorian British culture, this often meant the black sheep of an upper or middle class family who was sent away (from the UK to the Empire), and paid to stay away. These men were generally of dissolute or drunken character, and may have been sent overseas after one or more disgraces at home. There were also "remittance men" in several towns in the American and Canadian West [2]. American writer Mark Twain and Canadian poet Robert Service make references to those specific "remittance men" in some of their literary works.

04-18-10, 02:52 PM
As far as jobs you could do, it sounds as though she has things covered, so I quess you'll have to spring for an expensive gift to show your appreciation for your mother.

04-18-10, 03:11 PM
We had a remittance man on a diesel sub I served in. "Beetle" Bailey, an Engineman. His father's company paid him handsomely to stay in the Navy.

Hey, Jesda, Would a simple "I love you, Mom" and a nice spring basket of flowers be out of your M.O. ?

04-18-10, 03:34 PM
Hey, Jesda, Would a simple "I love you, Mom" and a nice spring basket of flowers be out of your M.O. ?

yeah that!

When a person has everything, expensive gifts can not impress her, but a simple gift, coming deep from your emotions can be the missing stuff that she never have got from anybody! So be yourself, and let your emotions flow, and BTW, although your partial aim from this gift is to convenience her to pay for grad studies, dont let this dominate your aim/ gift. She will immediately discover it and it can be very annoying for her to know you are doing this just to get money for your studies! You can speak with her about this matter directly and frankly, and no parent hesitates to spend his/her money for her/his kids until she may think the money may spoil kid's life...

So just be yourself and dont try to impress her through very strange gifts..good luck buddy:thumbsup:

04-18-10, 05:44 PM
We have an amusingly un-TV-like relationship.

*ring ring*

"Hey mom."

'Sorry, the bank is closed!'

"I'm hungry. Whats for dinner?"

'My foot in your butt.'

I hang up, show up, and eat. We usually sit at the dinner table talking about why Ian won't go to college (you're popular, bro) and the latest thing my dog vomited.

04-18-10, 07:10 PM
There you have it, straight from the horse's mouth: the basic problem with Americans......we have absolutely NO respect for anyone or anything.

What's in it for ME ???

04-18-10, 08:58 PM
The day you come home with a dame and hand your mom a baby her whole attitude torward you will make a major change. From that point on you're good as gold as long as you can produce the baby on command.

04-18-10, 09:33 PM
There you have it, straight from the horse's mouth: the basic problem with Americans......we have absolutely NO respect for anyone or anything.

What's in it for ME ???


Sorry bro, my folks have a sense of humor. Maybe you should too. :)

I've never really understood the distant and intimidating parent-child relationships depicted in traditional American movies and television. That distance is probably why Americans seem to have no problem throwing their parents in nursing homes. I remember hearing about how Sylvester Stallone's mom lived in a sh**hole studio apartment in Hollywood and being horrified.

I look to my parents as God-like figures sometimes, but I'm not intimidated by them, at least not since age 15. I'm not intimidated by God either, but that's for another thread. I hate rituals and all of the complicated BS that gets in the way of being close to people.

I once dated a girl who was perpetually upset that her elder relatives gave some family jewels to the other kids in the family but intentionally didn't give them to her or her sister. I never really understood why she cared so much -- who the hell cares about jewelry? Who cares about the symbolism? They're diamonds mined by African slaves. They all come from the same miserable place. If your relatives hate you, a few bits of shiny crap won't change it. Ignore them and move on. [I hate rituals.]

The "cut through the BS" mentality is probably the most important life lesson I've learned from my mother. Drop the bull, don't get caught up in idiocy, and move forward.

I know a lot of American baby boomers were beaten with belts to within an inch of their lives by drunk angry dads -- and they turned out accordingly, full of bitterness. However, in a 1980s immigrant household the mentality is "us vs them" rather than "you vs me". You look out for your own in a harsh world that wants to see you fall on your face and return to the rice-eating village you came from (I came from a rice-eating village).

If my folks want to sponsor my post-graduate education, I'll fully accept the offer and butter them up to keep the gravy train rolling. In return, I'm not going to do the usual American thing and whine to everyone within earshot about how my parents "ruined" my life or throw them in a home when they can't take care of themselves.


That was a fun essay. :)

I hope banana plants are in season.

04-18-10, 10:43 PM
Not all white people hate their parents. Mine have been dead for 40+ years and I still miss them very much. My wife is getting on a plane at 6:00 AM tomorrow morning to fly 3500 miles to Iowa to take care of her mom and dad. Her dad has stage 4 stomach cancer and her mom just had gall bladder surgery that didn't go well. They are at their home and there is no plan to abandon them anytime soon. I have no idea when my wife will return home but for now I'll look after our boy and hold down the fort.

My dad was a drunk but he didn't beat me, at least not enough. We were poor folks but didn't know it. When my mom died I was left with a house with a mortgage and some humongous hospital bills that I paid gladly because I knew my mom had earned the care. I agree that the 80s kids should have been knocked in the head and the milk given to a pig.

04-18-10, 10:57 PM
Hey, Ranger's wife and daughters came up with a great idea! If your Mom's not into stock cars, you might book her on one of the great garden tour trips that are available this time of year. Better yet book both of you on the tour and you do the driving.

04-18-10, 11:18 PM
Not all white people hate their parents. Mine have been dead for 40+ years and I still miss them very much.

I know, its a funny cliche. :) Lots of folks my age like to take the generosity with no expectation of earning it, and then get angry when it doesn't happen. Its rather unfortunate.

Mom and I like to joke about it.

Hey, Ranger's wife and daughters came up with a great idea! If your Mom's not into stock cars, you might book her on one of the great garden tour trips that are available this time of year. Better yet book both of you on the tour and you do the driving.

Interesting idea! She loves botany, or maybe I'll spend the day with her at the botanical gardens. :highfive:

04-19-10, 01:41 AM
My parents leave Friday for Hawaii to celebrate their 50th anniversary (which will be in September). They got the Visa gift card on Saturday and called me very surprised, which is just what I wanted. I want them to have a wonderful time, and while they didn't need any money from me, it feels great to get to have a part in it.

I'm extremely fortunate to have parents I think the world of, even if my mother occasionally drives me crazy (she's got a heart of gold, which makes up for it). They weren't perfect parents, but they were damn good ones, and I'm grateful. I know that some of my better qualities come from them. Well, I also inherited my Dad's eternal pessimism, but we like to joke about that.

04-19-10, 01:53 AM

Sounds like your mom already has the best gift any parent could want (and she knows it, too). However, given her bent toward things botanical, I'd say a garden tour would be well-received.


04-19-10, 09:44 PM

$120 including a huge pot. Now I need to figure out how to get it out of the nursery and on to mom's patio. The Saab is in the shop and the Seville doesnt have the space.

04-19-10, 10:22 PM
Just make sure it didn't accidentally bring in any giant amazonian spiders. :lildevil:

04-19-10, 10:26 PM
No matter what you get her, just be glad you have her. I'd do anything to have mine back.

04-19-10, 10:39 PM
I'm going to save the garden tour idea for mother's day when things are more in season. w00t

04-19-10, 10:44 PM
Won't fit in the Seville? Clearly you need a wagon!

04-19-10, 11:04 PM
Its probably too tall for a wagon. I need a bread truck.


04-19-10, 11:08 PM
44 inches man. Awesomeness.

And I'd rock that bread truck too...

04-19-10, 11:17 PM
Adds Jesda's bread-truck to list of things to own...

04-20-10, 12:13 AM
No matter what you get her, just be glad you have her. I'd do anything to have mine back.My Mom will be 69 this year, and I've told her I expect another 20 years out of her. Her Dad died in his 50s (heavy smoker), but all of his siblings lived into their 80s. My Dad is 73, a year older than his Dad was when he died. But his Mom lived to 89. Both my parents are in good health, for which I'm very grateful.

04-20-10, 12:50 AM
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04-20-10, 01:02 AM
Looks like you may need to rent a stakebed truck or utility van. Let's just hope it doesn't start singing.


04-20-10, 07:05 AM
My mom is broke so don't ask me how to butter her up to get money out of her.
That would be like trying to get some bacon out of a loaf of bread.

I have found that mom's love things that remind them that they are mothers.
Regardless of how flippant your current relationship may be, she grew you in her womb, wiped your poopy bottom, and held you in her arms staring into your eyes and drempt large dreams for you. If you can find a way to touch her heart and remind her of how she cared enough to make sure you could handle your own challenges she will likely give you everything she has.
My mom loves to get flowers, pictures of her kids and her grandkids, and just about anything else.

You know, you can joke around and be joking and sarcastic and still take a moment of your time to express how you really feel deep down inside about someone.
My dad and I have a pretty lackluster relationship, but sometimes I swallow my pride and I tell him that I apprecaite his hard work and sacrifice to keep a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food in my stomach for the 19 years I lived at home. I also explain to him that I have great pride in his service to this country as an enlisted man in the USAF.
It sucks to do that emotional crap but someday your parents will be dead and it will be pretty hard to tell them how you really felt then.

You seem like a good guy Jesda. I'm not sitting in judgement, just relating my experience.
You know your mom better than any of us, just think about what touches her heart.
Just try not to make it seem obvious! :lol:

04-20-10, 09:39 AM
Ewill3rd is right. Mothers really go for that weepy sappy stuff no matter how hard bitten and blase they try to act. Get one of those electronic picture frames and put together a montage of your baby, family vacation, school, highschool graduation, and college pictures. Make the last one a big question mark and dollar sign. If you do it right you'll have her bawling and handing over the cash. You're good at the travel pictures. Think of it as a trip to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

04-20-10, 01:09 PM
Funny you should say that Koz, that's what I did for my mom for Christmas, I put 4GB of photos in an electronic picture frame and set it up for her.

04-20-10, 04:27 PM
She already bought her own digital picture frame and asked me how to load it with pictures. But a few years ago, I bought her an engraved frame with a photo of me, my baby sister, and her. She loved it.

04-20-10, 04:48 PM
Nice clip, Craig, but I like this one even better (especially his backup flytraps):


04-21-10, 07:37 AM
Anyone remember that living plant thing from Jumanji? That was pretty cool too.

04-21-10, 06:21 PM

04-21-10, 07:42 PM
That is one handsome banana tree, your mother should be very pleased!

04-21-10, 07:45 PM
Poor Ducky. Little did it know it would spent its latter years as a delivery van.

04-21-10, 08:04 PM
She'll have more bush than Burt Reynolds circa 1979.

04-21-10, 10:26 PM
Who says convertibles aren't practical?

04-21-10, 10:59 PM
Coming from the land of Birkenstocks, high taxes and low expectaions, I am sure Ducky will provide versatility with a smile!!