: What Cars say about their owners



Spock
08-10-04, 08:31 PM
Add to the list if you want!


Contributed By: Brian Moake

Acura Integra I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars.
Acura Legend I'm too bland for German cars.
Acura NSX I am impotent.
Audi 90 I enjoy putting out engine fires.
Buick Park Avenue I am older than 34 of the 50 states.
Cadillac Eldorado I am a very good Mary Kay salesperson.
Cadillac Seville I am a pimp.
Chevrolet Camaro I enjoy beating up people.
Chevrolet Chevette I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette.
Chevrolet Corvette I'm in a mid-life crisis.
Chevrolet El Camino I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.
Chrysler Cordoba I dig the rich Corinthian leather.
Datsun 280Z I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.
Dodge Dart I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower.
Dodge Daytona I delivered pizza for four years to get this car.
Ford Escort I'm a red-headed nanny.
Ford Expedition I paid a lot for this 4x4, the 4wd wont engage, but its ok cause I dont want to get it dirty.
Ford Fairmont (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang I slow down to 85 in school zones.
Ford Crown Victoria I enjoy having people slow to 55mph & change lanes when I pull up behind them.
Geo Storm I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
Geo Tracker I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
Honda del Sol I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all.
Honda Civic I have just graduated and have no credit.
Honda Accord I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45 I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.
Jaguar XJ6 I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.
Kia Sephia I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp.
Lincoln Town Car I live for bingo and covered dish suppers.
Mercury Grand Marquis (See Lincoln Town Car)
Mercedes 500SL I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph.
Mercedes 560SEL I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole.
Mazda Miata I do not fear being decapitated by an 18-wheeler.
MGB I am dating a mechanic.
Mitsubishi Diamante I don't know what it means either.
Nissan 300ZX I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
Peugeot 505 Diesel I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List.
Plymouth Neon I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena.
Pontiac Trans AM I have a switchblade in my sock.
Porsche 944 I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me.
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow I think Pat Buchannan is a tad bit too liberal
Saturn SC2 (See Honda Civic)
Subaru Legacy I have always wanted a Japanese car.
Toyota Camry I am still in the closet
Volkswagon Beetle I still watch The Partridge Family
Volkswagon Cabriolet I am out of the closet
Volkswagon Microbus I am tripping right now
Volvo 740 Wagon I am frightened of my wife
Geo Tracker I wanted a Jeep but this is all my parents could afford.
CJ/SJ/J I own a real Jeep
YJ I should have gotten a CJ
TJ It looks kinda like a CJ and it's under warrantee
XJ I wanted an SJ but was afraid of its size
ZJ Of course I off-road, my driveway is gravel!!!

illumina
08-10-04, 08:40 PM
cadillac deville: i am good friends with sammy "the bull" gravano.

illumina
08-10-04, 08:45 PM
ford econoline 150: i am NOT stalking you in the middle of the night!!!

tru504187211
08-10-04, 09:24 PM
I dunno this is probably only unique to my Sixty but...

Cadillac Sixty Special: I like Hennessy and the females you have in my seats. Why must you keep the trunk rattling?

illumina
08-10-04, 10:03 PM
1974 dodge dart: my name is al and im a shoe salesman.

Ralph
08-10-04, 10:05 PM
1991 Fleetwood fwd. I'm clean and pretty Ralph, but you never take me out anywhere to show me off!

Wait, that could be my Fiance also! :shhh:

Sandy
08-10-04, 10:21 PM
VW Phaeton W-12 4-Place: I have oodles of $$$ but don't want anyone to know.

Mercedes SL500 AMG: I have oodles of $$$ and want the world to know

Msilva954
08-10-04, 10:29 PM
Ferrari Enzo: I have a problem getting him up.

"Datsun 280Z I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well" The best and truest.

PhillyCaddy
08-10-04, 10:29 PM
I have a seville sls and only wish I was a pimp
plus my XJ I am proud of. that thing goes through anything along with the lift and over sized tires plus all the tricks I put into it.
It is a jeep thing.

illumina
08-10-04, 11:19 PM
1999 white mercury sable ls: im a "classy" wannabe woman who dumps on men who are in love with me...and i LIKE it!!! :hide:

Stoneage_Caddy
08-10-04, 11:19 PM
Chevy Celebrity : I have lived in Indiana since i was born and do not intened to leave or get rid of my car .

94 Caddy Deville - I want people to think i spent 50k when i spent 5k.

Toyota Rav4 - I will cut you off becuse i think it is a 7,000 lb SUV , i get surpirsed by real cars often .

Little Tykes Cozy Coupe -After potty training I will be the next Michael Schumaker

Toyota Corolla - I lock up all four for a stale green light and i drive 20mph under the speed limit at all times . I also enjoy pulling out infront of fast moving real cars and trying to get myself killed by not accelerateing

Dump Truck - Traffic Signs and traffic lights are meerly sugestions , im here to kill other people

Illlumina , im detecting some issues there relateing to a EX , add 1995 Ford Contour to that (same story for me , diffrent ford product)

illumina
08-10-04, 11:35 PM
Illlumina , im detecting some issues there relateing to a EX , add 1995 Ford Contour to that (same story for me , diffrent ford product)


uh oh...see my avatar? think of that as my ex (insert life draining, evil, yet beautiful woman with ice in vains here) girlfriend. maybe one day we'll patch things up...but highly doubt it. :helpless:

Stoneage_Caddy
08-10-04, 11:41 PM
hahahaha , good one , i wouldnt watse my time on what appers to be a sack of human fecal matter , find something worthwile

and to sake a thread hijack .....

98+ Mercury Grandmarquis , i like to drive very slowly , mess up elections and clogg pharmacy checkout lanes over my change being one penny off

caddyshack24
08-11-04, 12:29 AM
Cadillac Seville I am a pimp. <- atleast it speaks a little truth.

Spock
08-11-04, 01:12 AM
Dodge Neon I'm gay

BUILDINGCTSAMG
08-11-04, 01:26 AM
Cadillac CTS: My nickname is tripod

caddyshack24
08-11-04, 02:21 AM
lol .. funny shit stonage.. with the pharmacuticals..

if you ever see a civic on the road.. its usally a hot chick.

buildingcts.. whats this tripod shit? .. you talking about having a big wang that doubles as a leg?

majax
08-11-04, 02:22 AM
Dodge Neon I'm gay

No No no ;)

VW Jetta: I am gay

I loved the chrysler cordoba one my uncle got into my cadi just last week and was like "what nice corinthian leather you have." Yeah i know its Nuance

Ralph
08-11-04, 03:16 AM
Dodge Neon I'm gay

Hey now, those are fine cars because they slice open K cars. :shhh:

Spock
08-11-04, 04:05 AM
LOL!

Nice memory btw :)

I say that because at a stop light there was a neon, playing britney spears and 3 guys with a pink leopard skin dashboard...

Playdrv4me
08-11-04, 07:56 AM
BMW 3 Series Convertible - Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles

Chevrolet Camaro - Slayeeeeer!

Cadillac Escalade - "Oh shit! Toss it out!"

1987 Chevrolet Monte Carlo - I spent more on my wheels than this car is worth, and 90% of the bolts in the trunk have shaken loose.

Hummer H2 - "its so...small..."

Lexus SC430 - After my wife found out what happened with the dental assistant, I couldnt afford the SL, so I settled for this.

Lincoln Town Car (Black only) - "...I'm gonna make him an offa he can't refuse. ..."

Sandy
08-11-04, 08:39 AM
As a rather new Town Car owner, I can speak from experience:

Town Car: Why do I awake at 5:08 AM with these undenialable urges to drive to the airport?

60-Special: DAMIT STUPID, it's not a deVille. Can't you see the fender skirts???? :madtalkin

daacon
08-11-04, 08:46 AM
PT Cruiser - Looking for the Fonz and Potsy

92 Deville - see Stoneage_Caddy 94 Deville and subtract 10k and 1k
pimping aint' my style - I'm into the "collection 'bidness"

Allante North *
08-11-04, 12:22 PM
Cadillac Allante - Now that I can afford one, I don't have any hair left for the wind to blow.

Elvis
08-11-04, 01:03 PM
2000 Honda Prelude: Damn my lower back hurts!

Vesicant
08-11-04, 01:16 PM
Pontiac Aztek: Lots of people like me...!

Dodge Intrepid: How long is this going to last?

Porsche Cayenne: Yeah, it does that too..

Ford Thunderbird: Where's the beef!

Honda Accord: I like to snuggle, long walks in the park, maybe a nice dinner once and a while... hanging out with friends.

Mini Cooper: Dont mess with Texas! Err.. Mini!

Cadillac Catera: What are all these people talking about?

ShadowLvr400
08-11-04, 04:04 PM
Cadillac Fleetwood: My hip is fake, and I don't know how to turn off this blinker.

Msilva954
08-11-04, 07:24 PM
Grand Marquis/Towncar- Whens the bridge game start..........after the 4:00 earlybird.

Stoneage_Caddy
08-11-04, 07:29 PM
Ford Crown Vic P71- Do you know how fast you were going ?
78-90 County Squire - I do not carry insurance and that intersection looks like a demo derby arena to me . I have been responsible for totaling 17 cars at once and driveing away .

illumina
08-11-04, 08:07 PM
1990 mustang gt convertable: ice ice baby...

ShadowLvr400
08-12-04, 12:48 AM
1988 Ford F150, on super swampers, bondo, etc: *plays theme from deliverance*

(Nuff said)

illumina
08-12-04, 12:53 AM
1988 Ford F150, on super swampers, bondo, etc: *plays theme from deliverance*

(Nuff said)


now that just freaks me out dude... :hide:

davesdeville
08-12-04, 02:30 AM
Cadillac DeVille, Red with white vinyl top: fo shizzle my nizzle

majax
08-12-04, 02:48 AM
chevrolet lumina: stop chicken braking me teacher, good thing we have the yellow triangle on the roof.

Spock
08-12-04, 04:51 AM
1983 Custom GMC Van - I pity da foo who doesn't do their drugs, stay away from milk and drink your school!

Playdrv4me
08-12-04, 06:59 AM
DeLorean - ...I have a face only a mother could love... and Im the only car in history that was desireable for taking nothing less than Nuclear fission to keep running...

Msilva954
08-12-04, 09:10 AM
DeLorean - ...I have a face only a mother could love... and Im the only car in history that was desireable for taking nothing less than Nuclear fission to keep running...

DeLorean--- I payed 10 grand more then a Vette and I can keep up with Volvos and mopeds.

barge master
08-12-04, 10:26 AM
Any hybrid car: I'm an educated idiot who is writing my congressman in support of clunker bills and anything that makes it diffucult to own a big/old car. I'm making a difference.

AirJigga25
08-12-04, 03:58 PM
Cadillac Seville I am a pimp. <- atleast it speaks a little truth.

true true.

this is for my bosses new truck.

2004 Dodge 2500 loaded extended cab pickup: you really don't need this truck but I guess I can do you a favor and make you look macho and intimidating.

Spock
08-13-04, 12:37 AM
DeLorean--- I payed 10 grand more then a Vette and I can keep up with Volvos and mopeds.

I'm made of every other cars parts which are next to impossible to find.

No I cannot time travel, if I hear another flux capacitor joke I'm going to kill you. I cannot even hit 88 mph, as that moped just passed me...

illumina
08-13-04, 01:53 AM
1978 ford f-150:lurlene, get the hound and ma' shotgun, we're goin' duck huntin'.

lowscola
08-13-04, 04:14 PM
1993 Acura Legend - I hustled all summer to get this...maybee next summer I'll get a license

MB - C230 - I have no idea this car is hurting my image more than it helps

MB - G500 - I have no respect for my financial advisor

Saabs - I can't wait until someone starts a colony on the moon

Daewoos - I enjoy the challenge of merging onto the highway

Scion Xb - I'm 43 and still think I'm cool

Toyota Solara - My kids think I'm a pu$$y, I bet they respect me now after I traded in the camry for this sporty model

juiceE
08-18-04, 11:06 AM
Cadillac Fleetwood: My hip is fake, and I don't know how to turn off this blinker.

hey, we got a chime that comes on when we leave the blinker on 4 too long :rant2:

T_Dogg8
08-18-04, 11:48 AM
vw jetta - i'm gay but i'm pretending jsut to be a hip young kid.

vw cabriolet - i'm a girl, even if i do look like a man.

vw beetle - i'm gay and i want everyone to know it.