: basic rules for nj driving



rainingzigzags
07-29-04, 11:55 PM
BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN NEW JERSEY

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real New Jersey driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit or being ticketed.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it may result in being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. New Jersey is a no-fault insurance state, the other guy may just be seeking lots of extra money and an early retirement.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's fun to scare people entering the highway.
8. Remember, in New Jersey speed limits are arbitrary and capricious, think of them as mealy suggestions, apparently they are not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.
9. Keep in mind, just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a New Jersey driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster.
10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. New Jersey is the home of "high-speed slalom driving." The State Highway Department, prides itself putting pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
12. It is traditional in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green or for any other reason deemed necessary, arbitrary or capricious.
13. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.
14. In New Jersey, "flipping someone the bird" is considered a traditional New Jersey salute. You should always return this gesture and thereby keep up the proud tradition.

majax
07-30-04, 04:16 AM
:histeric: Thats funny, To bad I dont live in NJ

gothicaleigh
07-30-04, 11:46 AM
Damn, I think those are the same rules we use here in Michigan. :)

Sandy
07-30-04, 01:14 PM
Highway courtesy passed away in mid-1967, nationwide. 21 people noticed then. Receipe for an accident:

Female over 28 deriving a SUV over 66 inches in heght, on way to work, a little late (Oh say, 7-10 minutes), sipping coffee & applying lipstick at 1st light, doing hair at 2nd light, eye/face make-up at 3rd light, checking it all at 4th light, while talking on cell phone and racing up to lights to gain more time AT the light to apply facial enhancements.

Male: 17-19 driving a well worn out import disposable compact, with 8" wide aftermarket exhaust pipe sounding like a steamship out to prove his entree into manhood on the road, by weaving in & out lanes in order to gain 14 seconds over a six-mile road trip.

Persons over 62 driving on a 3 or more lane highway, with a speed limit of 45 or higher, driving in the extreme left lane doing 10% (or more) UNDER the posted limit and NEVER moving over.

Minivans when not equipped with the optional turn signals.

Bellys with too much "Happy Hour" in them.

El Dobro
07-30-04, 04:53 PM
Let's not forget that New Jersey gives the driving test in 20 different languages, but all the signs are in english.

Msilva954
07-30-04, 09:26 PM
WOW thats just like here in Miami...even the No-Fault part.haha..

But you forgot the...."never slow down when it rains, just continue to speed part".....causing even more pile ups.

majax
07-30-04, 09:59 PM
Male: 17-19 driving a well worn out import disposable compact, with 8" wide aftermarket exhaust pipe sounding like a steamship out to prove his entree into manhood on the road, by weaving in & out lanes in order to gain 14 seconds over a six-mile road trip.


hahaha, thats my brother your describing there just he dont have the 8" exhaust instead there is a hole in the Cat that got there cause he took a the top of a hill to fast or something. But besides the college students and farmers who think they are boss with their trucks, in my town driving is pretty peaceful :suspense:.

brrrrrrvrroooooommmm pwpwpwpwpw :D

He drives my dads old '91 Accord, I dont know if its disposable but on the outside it shows its 200,000 miles.

daacon
07-31-04, 09:20 AM
Two favorites of mine are if you ever need to turn or have turned since you started the car, leave the signal light on to let everyone know that you have turned or will turn at some point during this road trip.

Or the opposite - if you see someone trying to turn left across a lane (or two or three) of traffic and you plan to turn right at that intesction - do not give warning to that car by using your right signal light. Let the car "think" you are going through thier path to help furhter delay thier stay at the intersection where is is safe ......

Vesicant
07-31-04, 11:41 AM
The NJ rules apply to Jacksonville, we have roads here almost exactly the width of an average sedan. Its so stressful driving here, people are so careless. Some to add, for the Jacksonville climate:

15. Lightly swerving in your lane with 5 inches of room to spare before hitting the adjacent vehicle alerts other drivers to your presence.

16. Stopping completely in the middle of traffic holding up everyone, attempting to turn around or to turn into a shopping center/attraction is better than keeping speed through the corner.

17. Do not keep in your lane when crossing an intersection.

CoupeDevilleRob
07-31-04, 07:05 PM
You pretty much nailed New Jersey driving. That's why we on the other side of the Hudson have coined the term "damn Jersey driver".

DaveSmed
07-31-04, 09:44 PM
Ditto on the other side of the Delaware.

majax
07-31-04, 11:25 PM
;) I take it then your big DeVilles can be a hassle for you NJ drivers. Probably tough to find a parrallel parking space you would fit in?

Evildenny
08-01-04, 01:03 AM
you guys from pa or ny dony want to know what we say about you guys especially "damn pennsylvanians get your own damn beach"

rainingzigzags
08-01-04, 09:08 AM
you guys from pa or ny dony want to know what we say about you guys especially "damn pennsylvanians get your own damn beach"


yea what he said lol

PhillyCaddy
08-01-04, 07:11 PM
its even better watching a nj driver trying to parralle park here in pa. what a darn shame it is.
and the worst part is that i am in nj atleast 2 time a week. :bonkers:

RBraczyk
08-01-04, 11:23 PM
Glad i live in NH, but i learned how to drive in mass. hehehe... NH drivers dont' know whats comin...

T_Dogg8
08-04-04, 08:18 AM
i'm from PA and would love to have my own beach, but until then, i'll keep going to beaches i don't have to pay to sit on. it's like paying to go sit at the local landfill :)

and you guys forgot "even if the light is yellow and you think it's going to be red when you get there, don't stop because the 2 cars behind you aren't planning to."