: I need VW jokes!



majax
06-30-04, 03:24 AM
One of my friends dad always makes jokes about Cadillac such as they are unreliable and etc. He isnt serious and its all fun but I try to get back at him by shooting down his VW Passat. I need some good material to throw at him got any sugestions?

Jokes whatever please tell I want revenge :want: .

Ralph
06-30-04, 03:29 AM
One of my friends dad always makes jokes about Cadillac such as they are unreliable and etc. He isnt serious and its all fun but I try to get back at him by shooting down his VW Passat. I need some good material to throw at him got any sugestions?

Jokes whatever please tell I want revenge :want: .

Tell him to look at the recent quality surveys by JD Power. :devil: :p

Did you hear about the VW owner who locked himself in his car? And the windows were down! (ok, that's pretty bad) :crying:

T_Dogg8
06-30-04, 08:39 AM
did you point out that vw has been putting subliminal gay messages in their commercials because they want to be 'the car' for the gay lifestyle?? and that one is actually true. the company talked about it in an interview with the wall street journal.

Randy_W
06-30-04, 08:52 AM
The favorite '60's VW joke was; 'That thing looks like a pregnant roller skate!'

T_Dogg8
06-30-04, 09:39 AM
The favorite '60's VW joke was; 'That thing looks like a pregnant roller skate!'
LOL that's a good one.

daacon
06-30-04, 10:03 AM
Not really a VW Joke ...but

A first year student had just got a VW beetle from his parents.
He took it for a spin, misjudged the curve and overturned the car directly between the house of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Mr. and Mrs. Balls. ... luckily, he was pulled out by the Smiths.

Ya know what VW stands for ? Virtually Worthless

With a "few modes" this classic :

Three guys die and go to heaven. The first goes up to St. Peter who says, "I have only one question before you go into heaven: Were you faithful to your wife?" The guy answers, "Yes, I've never even looked at another women."
St.Peter says, "See that Cadillac over there? That's your car to drive while you're in heaven." The second guy gets the same question, and answers, "Once I strayed, but I confessed to my wife and she forgave me and we worked it out." St. Peter says, "See that new Buick over there, that's your car to use in heaven." The third guy answers the same question, "I have to admit, I've chased every girl I saw, and was with a lot of women."
St. Peter says, "Okay, but you were basically a good guy, so that old Honda civic over there is yours to use while you're in heaven. The three guys go off on their separate ways. A few weeks later, guy #2 and guy #3 are driving along when they see guy #1's Cadillac parked outside of a bar. They stop and go into the bar andfind guy #1 with empty bottles all around him, face down with his face in is hands on the bar. They come up to him and guy #2 says, "Bud, what could possibly be so bad-you're in heaven, you drive a Cadillac, and everything is great!" He says, "I saw my wife today!" The other two answer, "That's great! What's the problem?" He answers, "She was riding a VW Bug"

daacon
06-30-04, 10:11 AM
ahhhhhhhhhh found some ya might be able to use ;-)


Q: How do you upgrade a Golf?
A: Put in an engine.
A. "PARK IT NEXT TO A PORTAJOHN.....AND LEAVE IT UNLOCKED"
Q: Why do Golfs have heated rear windows?
A: To keep your hands warm when you're pushing them.
Q. What's the difference between a Golf and the principal's office?
A. It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's
office.
Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Golf user's manual?
A: The train & bus schedule.
Q: What is the sport-version of Golf?
A: The driver wears Nike shoes.
Q: What do you call a Golf at the top of a hill?
A: A miracle.
Q: What do you call two Golfs at the top of a hill?
A: A mirage.
Q: What do you call a Golf with dual exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow
Q: How do you double the value of a Golf?
A: Half fill it with petrol!
Q: What to you call a Golf with brakes?
A: Customized.
Q: What do you have to do if your Golf gets in the way of a swarm of killer
bees?
A: Stop pushing and take refuge into the car.
Q: What is the Golf owner's most ardent wish?
A: To buy a car.
Q: What do you call a Golf with a seat belt?
A: A rucksack.
Q: How do you make a Golf go faster uphill?
A: Throw out the passenger.
Q: How do you make a Golf go faster downhill?
A: Turn off the engine.
Q: What do you call a Golf with a flat tire?
A: A write off.
A man goes to a parts garage:
Man: "Can I have a windshield wiper for a Golf please?"
Parts man: "Yeah, that seems like a fair swap."
STOP PRESS!!
VW has announced a new 16 Valve model for 2003.
8 in the engine, 8 in the radio.
- I can see you've got a new car - a Golf!
- Yes, I won the second prize in a lottery.
- What was the first prize then?
- A fruit-basket!

Msilva954
06-30-04, 11:21 AM
Truthfully, the Jetta Passat Golf and Beetle all rank in the top 10 "Cars most likely to be driven or prefered by gays". They were announcing it on the radio one day and VW dominated the list. Wonder if that was Hitlers vision back in the days.:)

T_Dogg8
06-30-04, 11:46 AM
one more kick in the teeth for hitler.

tru504187211
06-30-04, 04:25 PM
Just point out two gayish lookin' guys holding hands while driving in their VW...isn't that enough of a joke??? lol

T_Dogg8
06-30-04, 04:32 PM
enough for me to laugh at a bunch of 16-20 year olds who all met with their vws one day at a place i was at. they were all walking around and taking pictures. not a girl in the group. made me kind of wonder :suspect: i doubt they even realized what it looked like. i walked by with my girl friend to get to my car and i asked as we walked by a group if she saw any rainbow stickers. i don't think they got it though.