: McDonnell-Douglas Aircraft Warranty Registration Card



gothicaleigh
06-25-04, 01:12 PM
Some of you may have already been spammed with this in your E-mail, but I thought it was so funny that I couldn't resist posting it here:



McDonnell-Douglas Aircraft Warranty Registration Card

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. Choose one:
[_] Mr.

[_] Mrs.

[_] Ms.

[_] Miss

[_] Lt.

[_] Gen.

[_] Comrade

[_] Classified

[_] Other

First Name: ................. Middle Initial:........

Last Name:............................................

Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)

Code Name:............................................. .

Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ......................

2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?

[_] F-15 Eagle

[_] F-16 Falcon

[_] F-117A Stealth

[_] Classified

3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day) ..../......./......

4. Serial Number:........................................

5. Please indicate where this product was purchased

[_] Received as gift / aid package

[_] Catalogue / showroom

[_] Independent arms broker

[_] Mail order

[_] Discount store

[_] Government surplus

[_] Classified

6. Please indicate how you became aware of the
McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased

[_] Heard loud noise, looked up

[_] Store display

[_] Espionage

[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally

[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer

[_] Was attacked by one

7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most
influenced your decision to purchase this
McDonnell Douglas product

[_] Speed / maneuverability

[_] Price / value

[_] Recommended by salesperson

[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation

[_] Advanced Weapons Systems

[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product
will be used

[_] North America

[_] Iraq

[_] Iraq

[_] Aircraft carrier

[_] Iraq

[_] Iraq

[_] Middle East (not Iraq)

[_] Iraq

[_] Africa

[_] Iraq

[_] Asia / Far East

[_] Iraq

[_] Misc. Third World countries

[_] Iraq

[_] Classified

[_] Iraq

9. Please indicate the products that you currently own
or intend to purchase in the near future

[_] Color TV

[_] VCR

[_] CD Player

[_] Home Computer

[_] Air-to-Air Missiles

[_] ICBM

[_] Space Shuttle

[_] Killer Satellite

[_] Nuclear Weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(Indicate all that apply

[_] Communist / Socialist

[_] Terrorist

[_] Crazed

[_] Neutral

[_] Democratic

[_] Dictatorship

[_] Corrupt

[_] Primitive / Tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

[_] Deficit spending

[_] Cash

[_] Suitcases of cocaine

[_] Oil revenues

[_] Personal check

[_] Credit card

[_] Ransom money

[_] Traveler's check

12. Your occupation

[_] Homemaker

[_] Sales / marketing

[_] Revolutionary

[_] Clerical

[_] Mercenary

[_] Tyrant

[_] Middle management

[_] Eccentric billionaire

[_] Defense Minister / General

[_] Retired

[_] Student

13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis

[_] Golf

[_] Boating / sailing

[_] Sabotage

[_] Running / jogging

[_] Propaganda / misinformation

[_] Destabilization / overthrow

[_] Default on loans

[ ] Gardening

[_] Crafts

[_] Black market / smuggling

[_] Collectibles / collections

[_] Watching sports on TV

[_] Wines

[_] Interrogation / torture

[_] Household pets

[_] Crushing rebellions

[_] Espionage / reconnaissance

[_] Fashion clothing

[_] Border disputes

[_] Mutually Assured Destruction

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.
Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as, allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a Brand New F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department, Military Aerospace Division

IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable
for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored.
No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the Scottish Terrier kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you.
Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just
ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft.
However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.
If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.

Stoneage_Caddy
06-25-04, 01:57 PM
that is awesome !