: Old joke still funny. Needs updates.

06-12-04, 02:56 PM
Mercedes forum
- My wife and her a-hole lawyer are trying to ruin me in divorce court. How do I get them both killed and not get in trouble with the medical board?

Bentley Forums
- I used the ash tray today. How do I replace it?

Camaro/Firebird Forums
- My girl slept with my brother and my wife. How can I kill 'em? btw, I have a record and I ain't going back.

Mustang forums
-Some punk kid in a Civic tried to race me.

Monte Carlo forums
-Why do I keep getting pulled over, it aint stolen yo.

Civic forums
-Some punk kid in a Mustang tried to race me

VW Bug forum
- The Save the Earth concert was a success (pics)

Yugo Forum
- Where is the best place to start a fire in this thing?

Lamborghini forum
- Wind noise around 210MPH

Chevy Tahoe forum
- Are gas prices going down any time soon?

Pontiac Fiero forum
- Just bought a new flame retardant suit (pics)

BMW 7-series forum
- How do a get a coffee stain out of my carpet?

Cadillac forum
- Problems parallel parking at bingo.

Buick Forum
- Is Medicare or Medicaid right for me?

Delorean forum
- Just got back from the future and blew a head gasket. Please help. I'm from 1985.

Crown Victoria forum
- How come people don't never pass me on the highway?

Honda Accord forum
- Mom is giving me the car. Looking for some used rims.

Toyota Echo forum
- Do our cars use AAA or AA's?

Ferrari forums
- Need suggestions about a quick business trip to Columbia.

Porsche forums
- Tire just went flat. Is it best to trade or sell the car myself?

Saturn forums
- Roman candle landed on my fender. Melted and need to replace.

- Is the carbon fiber dash kit group-buy still on?

- Just flipped the Cooper after seeing The Itailian Job. Sueing the movie company. (pics)

Dodge Viper forum
- I frightened myself on the way home from work yesterday. How to get pee stains out of the leather?

McLarean F1 forum
-Some punk kid in a F16 tried to race me.

Hummer forum
- Had a fender bender today. 24 hurt, 10 killed. Is black touch-up paint available through the dealer?

Fiat forum
-Hello? Am I the only member?

Subaru WRX forum
- I hate cops. Got pulled over for drifting in New York City.

Chevy pickup forum
- It aint going into fifth! What in tarnations is wrong? Hell, I aint got all day! Com'on now ya'll shoot me a holler. Gotta git those dern cows rounded up.

06-14-04, 10:01 PM

06-15-04, 07:24 PM
Ford Explorer Forum-

Should i get the Firestone tires I hear a lot about them?

06-15-04, 08:06 PM
Pinto Forum :
Check out my new Barbeque Grill !

06-15-04, 09:26 PM
Maybach forum:

So, if i want to get in myself... i grab this handle, while at the sametime forcing it up and pulling out? Interesting...

Chevrolet Forum:

"Odd design plastic body panneling" option group 22F now standard!

06-15-04, 09:40 PM
**Not car related but funny!

My wife bitches that I never take her no where expensive.
So I took her to the gas station!

Now that food has replaced sex in my life,
I can't even get into my own pants.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said, "Implants?" She hit me.

I don't do drugs.
I get the same effect just standing up fast.

I live in my own little world.
But it's OK. They know me here.

I got a sweater for Christmas.
I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

I don't approve of political jokes.
I've seen too many of them get elected.

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Darn...that was fun!"

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping,"
now I just "chunky dunk."

Don't argue with an idiot;
people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Just remember...
if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school,
but they can in prison?

If raising children was going to be easy,
it never would have started with something called LABOR!

Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go,
but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the
Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?

Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher....and since it's in English, thank a soldier."

06-15-04, 11:34 PM
saab forums-
Does the acronym Saabs Are Always Broken really apply to saabs?

06-15-04, 11:41 PM
i was thinking for saabs...

"Torque steer is a great standard feature, it comes on every model"

06-17-04, 03:39 AM
Volvo forums

THANK GOODNESS, a rock hit my windshield yesterday but thanks to the safety of my Volvo me and my kids are not dead. I just joined the Volvo Saved My Life Club!