Its almost midnight and a policeman was patrolling a local parking spot that overlooks a golf course. He drives by and notices a couple inside with the interior dome light on.

In the driver’s seat there was a young man reading a computer magazine, while in the backseat was a young woman knitting. Recognizing this as unusual, the officer walked up to the driver’s window and tapped on the glass, asking the man his name and what exactly he was doing.

The man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, “My name is John and that’s my girlfriend in the back seat.”

“OK, so what are you doing?” asked the officer.

“What does it look like?” John answered. “I’m reading a magazine.”

Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer asked, “And what’s she doing?”

John looked over his shoulder and replied, “What does it look like? She’s knitting, sir.”

“And how old are you?” the officer asked John.

“I’m 25,” John replied.

“And how old is she?” asked the officer.

John looked at his watch and said, “Well sir, in 12 minutes she’ll be 18.”

.:bdmuffin:



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Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting
about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....that night all
three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their
eyes


After a few days they meet again.....

The engaged girlfriend said: 'The other night, when my boyfriend came back
home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4' stilettos and mask. He said, 'You are

The woman of my life, I love you...then we made love all night long.'

The mistress stated: 'Oh Yes! The other night I we met in the office. I was wearing

the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened

the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had wild sex all night.'

The married one then said: 'The other night I sent the kids to stay at my
mothers for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos
and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller

and a beer, and said, 'Hey Batman, what's for dinner?'

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm.

The wife turns over and says:”I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

The husband, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"





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Abstinence

Three couples—one elderly, one middle-aged, one young and newly wed—apply for membership in a church. The pastor informs them that the requirement for new parishioners is that they abstain from sex for two weeks. The couples agree and go their separate ways.

After two weeks, they return. The pastor asks the elderly pair if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "No problem at all, Pastor," replies the old wife, even if he wanted, cant. "Congratulations!" says the pastor. "Welcome to the church."

He turns to the middle-aged couple and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "It was difficult," replies the husband. "By the 5th day I had to take cold showers and by end of the second week, I had to sleep on the couch, but we did it." "Congratulations on overcoming temptation," says the pastor. "Welcome to the church."


He then turns to the newlyweds and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks.

"At first it was no problem," says the husband. "But one day my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf, and she dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right then and there."

"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," says the pastor.

"We know," says the young man. "We’re not welcome at the supermarket anymore either."




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