: Want to get off with a warning? Insult yourself.



Jesda
12-24-07, 05:36 PM
Last night at about 2am I was driving back from my office. Down the boulevard (Lindbergh for you locals) a police officer was behind me the entire time in the lane next to me.

As I was approaching an intersection a stale green light turned yellow and then red. It was terrible timing, since I had cargo in the back of the Navigator and slamming the brakes would have shuffled it around. Plus, its not exactly an amazing vehicle when it comes to stopping.

Far too late, I decided to floor it and go through the yellow, and it turned red RIGHT as my nose entered the intersection.

The police officer behind me rightfully pulled me over. I drove into a parking lot, turned on the dome lights, shut off the engine, and put my hands on the steering wheel so he would know I was prepared to submit. He said I should have used better judgement on the light, and I expressed complete agreement and I told him I KNEW he was behind me the whole time but I went through the light anyway.

At that moment, a second police car pulled up. They both had new Dodge Chargers. Frontenac, MO's police department wasn't exactly strapped for cash.

He took my license and walked back to his car, and I loudly yelled "I'M SUCH A F****** IDIOT! I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED!" and said it loud enough for him to hear. He chuckled, and I absolutely meant what I said.

He came back with a written warning and a grin on his face and told me to use better judgement, and I said "Thank you sir!" and went home.

I do believe my loud declaration of stupidity helped my situation. Also, the "Dont taze me bro!" bumper sticker perhaps played a role. Or maybe he liked Ron Paul... nah. :)

dkozloski
12-24-07, 05:47 PM
Acting contrite never hurts. It's even better if you're not acting.
'Tis bad to act like a fool. 'Tis worse if you're not acting.

I remember seeing a guy driving a glass company serrvice truck encounter the same type of instant decision. He slammed on the brakes and a huge window slid off the rack on the side of the truck and hit the pavement, shattering into a million pieces. Then he nailed it and ran the red light to get the hell out of there and not have to clean up the mess.

Cadillacboy
12-24-07, 05:51 PM
LOL, still good to hear you didn't get into trouble . :D

I~LUV~Caddys8792
12-24-07, 06:22 PM
That's a pretty EMO way to get out of a ticket Jesda. Did you have "Hey There Delilah" playing when he stopped you?

I~LUV~Caddys8792
12-24-07, 08:16 PM
Oh no wait, you know what would have been REALLY funny?

Officer pulls you over Jesda, and you roll down the window, he sees you wearing that Wendy's wig while you're eating a Baconator, and you're playing Fiona Apple's Criminal as loud as it goes, and singing along with it... "I've been a bad, bad girl"

I think that'd get you thrown in Prison.

dkozloski
12-24-07, 09:03 PM
My cousin was stopped by the trooper for suspected drunk driving while he was on the way back to his college dorm. He had just about talked his way out of it when the trooper noticed his roomate passed out in the passemger seat. The trooper opened the passenger door and the roomate fell out flat on his back on the ground, looked up at the trooper with a big grin on his face and said, "Hello Mousketeer". They both got silver bracelets to wear to the slammer.

Crown Vic Owner
12-24-07, 11:45 PM
was he drunk?

Playdrv4me
12-25-07, 12:42 AM
I want my sticker back.

dkozloski
12-25-07, 03:09 AM
was he drunk?
As a skunk!

Jesda
12-25-07, 04:54 AM
I want my sticker back.

You have my NRA sticker!

Jesda
12-25-07, 04:55 AM
Oh no wait, you know what would have been REALLY funny?

Officer pulls you over Jesda, and you roll down the window, he sees you wearing that Wendy's wig while you're eating a Baconator, and you're playing Fiona Apple's Criminal as loud as it goes, and singing along with it... "I've been a bad, bad girl"

I think that'd get you thrown in Prison.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[To everyone else: Its an inside joke so it makes no sense. :D]

Spyder
12-25-07, 03:15 PM
Funny thing is...it DID make sense and I'm sure we're ALL picturing you doing that same thing.

*shivers*

I~LUV~Caddys8792
12-26-07, 12:17 AM
Funny, I'm listening to that song right now.

dirt_cheap_fleetwood
12-27-07, 02:27 AM
One of my uncles who lives in florida owns a DeLorean that he uses as his daily driver. He got pulled over on the way up here once by the Indiana State police for speeding. He rolled down the window (only about 6 inches of the very middle actually rolls down) and the officer asked if he knew how fast he was going. He replied "well, I'm still in this barren wasteland of a state, so I must not have been doing more than 88." He said the officer got so pissed off you could watch his face turn red. He got a $125 ticket and we still make fun of him to this day.

Jesda
12-27-07, 04:46 AM
Sheesh, I got pulled over AGAIN! I'm here in Washington on a "vacation" in this wintry hell. I was driving my friend's 93 Mark VIII and got tagged for 41 in a 30, which is ridiculous because its a six-lane high-volume avenue that should be 40mph anyway.

I pulled over ASAP, turned on the dome lights, and put my hands on the wheel to display full submission. I called him sir a lot and he let me go with a warning.

slk230mb
12-27-07, 12:31 PM
Sheesh, I got pulled over AGAIN! I'm here in Washington on a "vacation" in this wintry hell. I was driving my friend's 93 Mark VIII and got tagged for 41 in a 30, which is ridiculous because its a six-lane high-volume avenue that should be 40mph anyway.

I pulled over ASAP, turned on the dome lights, and put my hands on the wheel to display full submission. I called him sir a lot and he let me go with a warning.

Go play the lotto, you're awfully lucky this week.

I~LUV~Caddys8792
12-27-07, 12:48 PM
This is how that interaction should have gone:

Police Officer: "Sir, why were you speeding?"
Jesda: "32 valves, 4.6 liters, 280 horsepower, 0-60 in 6.6 seconds. It's hard not to speed officer"
Police Officer: "Very well then, go speed some more"
And then Jesda throws it into O/D and spins both rear tires as he gets away.

Destroyer
12-27-07, 07:35 PM
Sheesh, I got pulled over AGAIN! I'm here in Washington on a "vacation" in this wintry hell. I was driving my friend's 93 Mark VIII and got tagged for 41 in a 30, which is ridiculous because its a six-lane high-volume avenue that should be 40mph anyway.

I pulled over ASAP, turned on the dome lights, and put my hands on the wheel to display full submission. I called him sir a lot and he let me go with a warning.At least you didnt have to resort to calling yourself a f'ing idiot that time :D. Not that I'm above that, actually I'll try it next time I get pulled over for speeding. "Officer, uh sir officer, look at me, I'm obviously a freigin idiot sir".:cookoo:

MN-STS-LOVER
12-27-07, 08:33 PM
I've always found the "knock the cop to the ground" method works for me! This was many years ago but still a great story. I was on my way home from "happy hour" driving back to Apple Valley from Bloomington (for the locals) on Cedar ave. which is a state hwy. I was driving my '77 Dodge (factory) conversion van. Shag carpet, bed, diamond windows on the sides, slant 6 with a three on the tree (priceless!). Got pulled over by a Trooper. I asked why and he said my tail lights were out. I had had many light problems from hot-wiring it after losing my keys once so I said ok I'll buy that. He asked if I had been drinking (he must have smelled the Long Islands on my breath!) and I said yes I've had a couple (dozen). He asked me to step out and follow him to his cruiser. By this time two other Troopers arrived (must have been a slow night). I get out and follow him back. As I clear the back of my van I turn to look at my tail lights. Well he had decided to stop and wait for me and I plowed right into him and knocked him flat on his ass! In about 2 seconds I had three guns pointed at my head! (good thing I pissed just before leaving the bar). After a minute of major intensity, I was in the back of his car blowing on a breathalizer. They must not have liked the results because they made me do another one. After passing the second one they let me go with a fixit ticket. Wheeeeew!

Good thing that happened 20 years ago or I would be a UTube video getting tazzed!

I~LUV~Caddys8792
12-27-07, 08:55 PM
Holy shit! I can't imagine what would happen now if that happened.

MN-STS-LOVER
12-27-07, 09:03 PM
Holy shit! I can't imagine what would happen now if that happened.

Well I'm pretty sure they would shoot first and ask questions later!