: Teenage Driving monitor?



keithsm2
12-04-07, 10:46 AM
Anyone ever used one of these devices?? If so point me to a good website for one? I have a son with a 05 Cobalt SS and stage II...ect....I think I need to check up on him or atleast have him know I'm watching.....

Thanks in advance..

Hope this doesnt violate Forum rules...but figured there would be someone knowledgeable out there..

GMBOUND
12-04-07, 11:53 AM
Couldn't say I have.
Onstar maybe can help, also the insurance companies have been teaming up with parents for some type of device. I think you even get a discount for doing so.

ccclarke
12-04-07, 12:51 PM
Davis makes a great product that should satisfy the age-old "Inquiring Minds Wanna Know" issues parents have when teen drivers are out of sight but not mind. They even make a wireless model to unobtrusivley transfer the data to a pc.

http://www.davisnet.com/drive/products/driveright_600E.asp

Hope this helps.

Cheers!

CC

Koooop
12-04-07, 01:46 PM
http://www.forgetmenotpanties.com/

I dunno if they make for boys.

faylix
12-04-07, 03:51 PM
http://www.forgetmenotpanties.com/

I dunno if they make for boys.

best. invention. ever.

Wrestler07
12-04-07, 04:00 PM
http://www.forgetmenotpanties.com/

I dunno if they make for boys.

I got some ocean front property in Arizona for sale too if you want.

Night Wolf
12-04-07, 04:11 PM
The SS is supercharged, right? Since it's a new car, I take it that he didn't buy it on his own? Just seems odd to me to buy a really fast car as a first car for a new young driver, then really want to make sure they aren't getting into trouble..... shoulda got the base engine.

Ah well, I know when I was 16, while I did do some stupid things in my '93 Coupe DeVille, compared to what the majority of my HS classmates did, I was a much better driver, I flat out refused to ride in the car of about a dozen other kids.... they ended up wrecking anything, so good for me.

Still tho, I'd say just talking to him will do alot more then some car nanny device.... thats just me tho.

dkozloski
12-04-07, 04:18 PM
It's too late now. You raised a son you can't trust. The horse is out of the barn. Welcome to every parents nightmare. My guess is that pretty soon the court system will have a monitor on his leg if he's still alive.

malcolm
12-04-07, 04:26 PM
Buy the kid a POS that can't get out of it's own way. Parents who buy their kids high performance cars then wonder why little (insert kids name here) wrapped it around a pole deserve what they get.

DopeStar 156
12-04-07, 07:43 PM
I don't get it, what kinda information do these things collect?

Crown Vic Owner
12-04-07, 08:01 PM
Buy the kid a POS that can't get out of it's own way. Parents who buy their kids high performance cars then wonder why little (insert kids name here) wrapped it around a pole deserve what they get.

You know what, i take offense to this as i am 16


As far as i am concerned, the SLS is somewhat of a sports sedan, and i dont drive like a total dickwad.


Ok, lets be honest here, i am not exactly the slowest guy on the road, but i usually go 5 under the speed limit, but i do have my fun on some open farm roads around here where the worst thing i can hit is a cow or some hey.

The stupidest thing ive done is raced through a forest during the day, but noone else was in there and i was with my uncle.


I treat my car as a privilege that can be taken away at any time and i also dont drive like a total ass. I FOUND the GPS tracker on my car, and no it wasnt my mom who did it and who i live with, but my ******* dad. He put it on there to see where my mom was going (that opened up a whole can of worms) after he realized she racked up 5k on the thing vs my 500 miles.


If you really want to track your son, honestly, go get a rental or a friends car and follow him on a friday night. If you see him racing around, you can bust him doing it right there, no questions asked, and be mad at him, on the other hand, a GPS service is going to cost a minimum 50 bucks a month, along with a good 1000 bucks for installation, and if you want other goodies like speed and that, its going to get to be even more.


You might also want to invest in some tuning software for his car, and ask the tuner to turn down the boost and speed limiter (i know you can with SCT, although i think only one tuner does cobalts, cant think of the name of them ontop of my head).

As stupid as this sounds, ever consider taking him to a track day or 2, so he can get it out of his system in a safer way.

Playdrv4me
12-04-07, 10:38 PM
Man, I dont mean any offense Crown Vic... But from everything you ever post here, your dad sounds like a total asscock.

CadillacGurl
12-04-07, 10:57 PM
Being from a kind of upper class family I've seen my share of kids in my ex-private high school crash their mercedes and bmws. Its pathetic how this families just give a car to their kids and then when the wreck it they buy a brand new one. For example a friend of mind wrecked her Benz SLK coz "she wanted the newer model" this also happened with cell phones too. My parents gave me a hyundai elantra. I'm happy I had that car, it did what it was supposed to and hey I had good gas mileage unlike mercedes and bmw. We now have a the base cobalt just coz my parents know if there's an accident the parts will be cheap unlike the higher end cars.

As for the tracking devices, you have to find a good one your kid won't crack and get around. My mom tried to stick one in the glove box but I watched her do this and I just took it out and placed it in her car. What my mom does now is check the odometer. If your son says he's going over to John's house and you know its 5 miles away, you know it will be 10 miles when he gets home. Pretty simple. I recommend not watching him like a hawk either, tends to push them away.

Crown Vic Owner
12-04-07, 11:28 PM
Man, I dont mean any offense Crown Vic... But from everything you ever post here, your dad sounds like a total asscock.

He is a asscock


man, i try to be nice to both of my parents, but my dad is a total idiot, and "frogot" to tell my mom about 3 other kids he had


i found them on myspace a bit back ago.

He gave me the caddy in return i shutup to my mom about 1 of the kids (she only now knows of 2) and i wont tell the kids i exsist, he also gave me a job where he works


I dont want to argue with him because he is a rich and powerful man and can screw me around


STS gurl,

I come from a middle class family, my dad is WAY upper class (2mill a year) and lives like a bum, and my aunt is high upper class, so i know where your coming from.


When i was going to driving school and ignoring all the things they said that were pretty much wrong, i saw some really preppy girls in there, when the insturctor asked the following, i was the ONLY one to know what the following meant

RPMS
The difference between a tire and wheel
emergency / hand brake
bright lights


AND MY FAVORITE

road flares


None of those people in that class exception for 3 (suprisingly i am going out with the girl now) people, knew jack shit about cars. When i had to do my actual driving with them, i mentioned what ill be driving (a crown vic), and the 2 other people in the car were like, those old cars, and there slow and ugly, only cops drove them i thought. I honestly was thinking, what a dumbshit. Every one of those girls that were in there said they were getting a bimmer or a SLK something.

Fortunately, i didnt have to drive as i am too tall and fat for a carolla and thank god the girls in front were really skinny so i could fit my size 16 in.

Brizzal
12-04-07, 11:34 PM
He is a asscock


man, i try to be nice to both of my parents, but my dad is a total idiot, and "frogot" to tell my mom about 3 other kids he had


i found them on myspace a bit back ago.

He gave me the caddy in return i shutup to my mom about 1 of the kids (she only now knows of 2) and i wont tell the kids i exsist, he also gave me a job where he works


I dont want to argue with him because he is a rich and powerful man and can screw me around

man id say screw that...you should only have to deal with that at work..not home

Crown Vic Owner
12-04-07, 11:39 PM
man id say screw that...you should only have to deal with that at work..not home

He cheated on my mom on there damn honeymoon

needless to say, we are like oil and water.


If i ever wanted to royally screw him, i have a expense account in the form of a mastercard as i am the parts guy for him lately, and i have to take the old cab he has as a beater out and plow his customers lots.


I honestly could give 2 shits and stay out of it. He knows its his ass if the lac breaks, and that he WILL be paying for a new car. HE has WAY too much to loose, and my mom holds the title, so that wont be a issue.

On the other hand, he has mentioned about leaving one of his businesses to me as his other son is gay and not normal (he was the kid that carried a briefcase to school).

Also, i dont become easily offended. There is only one thing that offends me and thats talking about my dead grandpa.

gary88
12-05-07, 12:11 AM
There's this one kid I went to HS with who was the epitome of spoiled rich kids. His dad owns a steel company (or two). He was a short Italian kid who looked like he was twelve (and even got pulled over for that fact more than once). In the two years I knew him he had:

-A BMW 645Ci (his first car, imported from Germany before released in the US)
-Went through about 4 different E46 M3s
-Range Rover HSE
-Mercedes-Benz CLS500
-Mercedes-Benz SL500
-Porsche 996 911 Carrera 4S (kept it for 4 days because he couldn't fit golf clubs in the trunk)
-'07 Escalade
-'06 Escalade

He was amazing at golf and got a full ride to Florida. He was there for a few weeks, and dropped out due to being homesick. So now he lives with his parents and goes to community college. He now drives a Mistubishi EVO 9 and will be keeping that, as his dad cut him off from getting any more cars.

Brizzal
12-05-07, 12:21 AM
yea i see where ur coming from but still thats lots of bs....

Koooop
12-05-07, 01:00 AM
Whaaaa.

Cry me a Fiiing river.

(You drive a 10 year old SLS and you think your Daddy is rich, LOL)

Crown Vic Owner
12-05-07, 01:03 AM
lol, i dont think that, i know that.


He doesnt share.

Did i ask for any sympaphy?

Koooop
12-05-07, 01:05 AM
Good thing cuz ya aren't gettin any!

Rolex
12-05-07, 01:09 AM
Good thing cuz ya aren't gettin any!

:wtf:

Brizzal
12-05-07, 01:50 AM
Good thing cuz ya aren't gettin any!

:blah: :beat:

Crown Vic Owner
12-05-07, 01:59 AM
if i wanted sypathy, i would go to a sympathy forum or some shit


hell, that offends me

Red_October_7000
12-05-07, 03:35 AM
This thread is weird/great.
Don't go putting tracking shit in someone's car. Once you do something like this, you will never have their trust again. If he is realy a menace on the highway fvcking talk to him about it. Either he is actually dangerous (And I agree with the other posters, WTF is he doing with a rocketship that he probably didn't buy himself if he's got a leadfoot that makes me, who tops nearly everything he gets into eventually [10-cylinder Econolines are capped at 90, goddammit], look like a little old lady doing 50 in the right lane... mind you I've never had a speeding ticket, etc.) or, on the other hand, you're being paranoid and looking for a real-life deus ex machina to save you from being a real parent. Sorry to be harsh, but when you're looking at a situation like this, it's just wrong in so many ways. Spying on people doesn't fix a problem, though it might find out about one -mind you at the least at the cost of their trust -if I cought someone spying on me thusly I'd most likely take it out on their car with great-grandpa's meaty ol' sledgehammer (he worked the railroads, ya see, became foreman, ya see, and when yer foreman you get to take the tools home sometimes) -so it may very well cost much more than their trust.
If you know the problem exists, spying isn't going to solve it. If there really is a problem you've gotta talk to the kid about it like a sane human being while you still can. If you can't, well, don't bother. All you'll do is learn stuff that's useless, because if you confront him with it and can't carry on a normal conversation all you'll have accomplished is at best about three-quarters of an hour of real good shouting, the kind that makes you want to go sit on the toilet, smoke non-filters and drink whisky until you forget who you are- and at worst one of you'll have done something REAL bright, like start a fistfight. And when I say that "you can't carry on a normal conversation" I'm not lumping it on you. HE may be an inflamed, hemmerhoidal arsehole, or maybe you just can't talk about shit together, but give it a try. You won't help anything by spying on people.

Night Wolf
12-05-07, 05:47 AM
Being from a kind of upper class family I've seen my share of kids in my ex-private high school crash their mercedes and bmws. Its pathetic how this families just give a car to their kids and then when the wreck it they buy a brand new one. For example a friend of mind wrecked her Benz SLK coz "she wanted the newer model" this also happened with cell phones too. My parents gave me a hyundai elantra. I'm happy I had that car, it did what it was supposed to and hey I had good gas mileage unlike mercedes and bmw. We now have a the base cobalt just coz my parents know if there's an accident the parts will be cheap unlike the higher end cars.

As for the tracking devices, you have to find a good one your kid won't crack and get around. My mom tried to stick one in the glove box but I watched her do this and I just took it out and placed it in her car. What my mom does now is check the odometer. If your son says he's going over to John's house and you know its 5 miles away, you know it will be 10 miles when he gets home. Pretty simple. I recommend not watching him like a hawk either, tends to push them away.

You are 20 y/o and your mom still checks your odometer?!?!?!?

My parents never checked the odo, kept track of me or anything.... they hated when I was out late, cause they worried about other people driving drunk, but that was it.

I dunno, my parents weren't rich, nowhere near that, I had to work for everything I own. I lived with my mom since I was 10y/o and I must say she was an excelent parent, and is my role model to how I'd like to raise my kids some day. She never really set any rules, but at the same time I wasn't out getting into trouble. She never "banned" anything, which just makes a kid want it more.... alcohol? she used to let me drink at home whenever I wanted and buy any sort of drink I wanted, she'd let me have my friends over to hang out and drink (but no driving) To me, that is how it should be.... and heck, I am not even a big drinker now, when they come visit me, they'll get an 18-pack of Coors Light, and only drink a few.... that stuff sits in the fridge for weeks, if not months before I drink it up cause I am tired of it taking up space.

She never set a curfew on me, even in NY when I was 16 and legally wasn't supposed to drive after 9, if I said I was gonna be spending the night at my friends house (she knew all my friends, and I didn't have many) she trusted me, and never checked up etc...

With everything tho, I know some parents tell their kids no tatoos or no piercings, then they go and get them anyway, heck when my mom and I would be in the mall and see the piercing stand, she would be like "hey want an ear ring or eyebrow ring? we can get you one" But, I never wanted one. My mom always talked to me about things, everything, and she didn't talk to me as a parent telling a kid something, but as a friend telling another friend something. I grew up in a very laid back setting, atleast with my mom and step father (who I consider my parents) my birth-father? Not so much....

There is alot more, but those are just some examples, and IMO she was the best parent I could have had, and I hope one day to raise my kid(s) as well as her. I don't want to sound like I am self bragging, but despite that "lack of parenting" (as I've heard a couple times in the past) I am now 20 y/o and completely live on my own, already finished tech school and started my carrer, with minimal debt, not cause my parents pay for my stuff, but because I've been smart with my finances. While I enjoy a beer or two, thats it, I'm not a drinker, and I never touched any sort of drugs, I don't smoke either.

However, it goes both ways, I showed my mom at a young age I was mature, and made mature decsions, she noticed that. Had I been one to go out and do illegal things, get into trouble etc... things would have been alot different... it goes both ways. All I can say is to talk to your kids from a young age, talk to them and tell them what could happen if etc.. not just "no, do not do....." etc... cause that really won't get anywhere. I grew up in a split household with an abusive father, I didn't have it easy growing up, and I could have just as easily gotten myself into alot of trouble and then go blame it on how I was raised etc.... but I saw the cycle and knew it had to stop, so I took the first step.

well, I kinda went off on a tangent there.... ah well, FWIW.

ewill3rd
12-05-07, 06:30 AM
I'd agree and disagree.
It would be nice to have tracking information but I think communicating with your child is much better than gathering data for "prosecution".
Ask him where he is going, how he is driving. Express your concerns for his safety, let him know you care about his welfare. If you have stories about how stupid you were when you were a kid, share them.
My parents didn't do it 100% right. I was a madman behind the wheel of a car. I got pulled over about 70 times to prove it. I got 15 tickets, lost my license, went to jail for a night... etc. etc.
If my parents had spied on me they would have had a coronary and we would have had many many fights. Sometimes kids have to learn on their own, but you need to equip them with some degree of respect, let them know you care about them and they will care about themselves and respect your wishes.... to a degree.

Crown Vic, I know you are not looking for sympathy. It is a shame when people turn out like your old man.
It isn't your fault and you don't have to look up to him. I am sure there are things about him that you don't know that made him the way he is. If anything he almost deserves your sympathy. Sounds like he needs some therapy to deal with his issues. Don't be afraid to get counseling for yours. It is hard to deal with being treated like that by someone.

Kids need love, not tracking devices.
I do know some people that have used them, but those people were pretty worthless pieces of trash too. All their kids were totally screwed up. Their daughters wound up on drugs with a bunch of illegitimate kids and their son wound up in jail for breaking into cars and doing drugs too.
The parents life motto? "If it feels good, do it". They taught it to their kids and then couldn't figure out what went wrong.

malcolm
12-05-07, 10:38 AM
You know what, i take offense to this as i am 16


As far as i am concerned, the SLS is somewhat of a sports sedan, and i dont drive like a total dickwad.


Ok, lets be honest here, i am not exactly the slowest guy on the road, but i usually go 5 under the speed limit, but i do have my fun on some open farm roads around here where the worst thing i can hit is a cow or some hey.

The stupidest thing ive done is raced through a forest during the day, but noone else was in there and i was with my uncle.


I treat my car as a privilege that can be taken away at any time and i also dont drive like a total ass. I FOUND the GPS tracker on my car, and no it wasnt my mom who did it and who i live with, but my ******* dad. He put it on there to see where my mom was going (that opened up a whole can of worms) after he realized she racked up 5k on the thing vs my 500 miles.


If you really want to track your son, honestly, go get a rental or a friends car and follow him on a friday night. If you see him racing around, you can bust him doing it right there, no questions asked, and be mad at him, on the other hand, a GPS service is going to cost a minimum 50 bucks a month, along with a good 1000 bucks for installation, and if you want other goodies like speed and that, its going to get to be even more.


You might also want to invest in some tuning software for his car, and ask the tuner to turn down the boost and speed limiter (i know you can with SCT, although i think only one tuner does cobalts, cant think of the name of them ontop of my head).

As stupid as this sounds, ever consider taking him to a track day or 2, so he can get it out of his system in a safer way.

Hmmmm, I'm thinking grow up kid, you are 16 and have, what, 20 minutes of driving experience. Every kid thinks he's an expert driver until the crash, some learn and some don't. I'm betting you are going to be in the don't learn group.

Now there's something to be offended about.

keithsm2
12-05-07, 10:46 AM
OK...first off....If i put a monitoring device on the car....doesnt mean I wont tell him about it.....The company I work for has high end monitoring devices on ALL the vehicles....You must sign in to drive them....Just knowing someone is capable of watching curbs youre driving.....They also help spot some bad driving habits and you are able to correct them.

My son is working and paying for the car...insurance and gas himself.....I gave him ZERO.....

He's a good kid....never stays out late...doesnt run around with a lot of hudlums...He is just a car enthusiast.....
The first car I drove was a catalina with a 400ci in it.....heavy as all get out.....
I really dont know if that is safer.....any car can do a 100 ...so if they are going to do it....they can do it in any car.

I talk to him all the time about taking care of the car and himself.....but having him know i can monitor him i think is a good idea......

yellowxhoodie
12-05-07, 11:47 AM
the only thing that i hate is those rich yuppie kids whose parents buy them multiple cars even though they continue to total them.
I live in a the fairly wealthy county of dupage and ive seen it ton many times.
Hell, my ex-gf had an Audi A-4 which she totales, so she started driving the family Mercedes ML series, and then her mom bought her a brand new 07 Saab 9-3.
Thats not even what pisses me off, its that these little spoiled brats give those of us who work hard for what we have a bad reputation.
My First car was and still is a 2000 Catera.
I make payments on it everymonth and i pay for insurance too.
due to the car continually having problems and being a big inconvenience to me because i work and go to school full time, i am currently prepping it for sale.
Once it sells i will be financing an 08 car on my own.
But at the end of the day im thankfull that i work hard for what i have because i think it makes you a better person, you learn to appreciate everything you are givin waaaay more.
And i always chuckle to myself because once these kids get out of college they are going to get kicked in the ass so hard and have no idea what to do.
They dont even know how to balance a checkbook.hahaha

Playdrv4me
12-05-07, 11:52 AM
If you disclose it to him then I don't see it as a problem. As said above though, don't expect any electronic gizmo to ever substitute for proper supervision and good parenting.

yellowxhoodie
12-05-07, 12:14 PM
If you disclose it to him then I don't see it as a problem. As said above though, don't expect any electronic gizmo to ever substitute for proper supervision and good parenting.

are u kidding me? dont you know that its almost 2008! There is no such thing as parenting anymore. Theres no need for parents. We have T.V. to entertain our kids in the morning and teach them valuble life lessons, then the bus driver watches them until they get to school, where they are then taught by a teacher that most parents have prob never met, after school they are either shipped off the daycare or take the bus home and spend several hours at home alone freely surfing the internet that has no filter on it. AHH yess, ya gotta love it.

No actually, i was just kidding, i totally agree with you, haha

ewill3rd
12-05-07, 04:03 PM
You could have saved a little bit of money by telling him you put one on the car and then just don't do it!
:D
He'll think it is there, he'll never find it and he'll think it is so cool that there is one there that he can't disable.
Only trick would be if he asked you where he went. Then you'd be totally busted.
Sounds like you handled it fine to me. You could even explain that in the event something happens to him you can use it to find him in a hurry.
Which actually is a great idea.
I know I could have broken down places where some farmer might find me in the spring!

Koooop
12-05-07, 04:19 PM
If my parents had been able to track me they would have kept me out of things I should never had gotten into. I was just lucky and didn't get caught. My partner in "things" did get caught, to bad his Dad (who was a good Dad) didn't know what we were up to, it would have saved jail time among other things.

If you choose to work for your Dad and accept hush/guilt money that's your business, but when you bitch about it go stand in the mirror and ask yourself if you any better that he is.

My kids have no right to privacy until they are 18 or have moved out which ever comes first. They will have what ever trust they earn or deserve. I will do anything I see fit to protect them and help the grow to be the best people they can be. If your parent cares enough to pay attention to what you get into consider yourself lucky and loved.

(I'm the first one to admit I would have disabled that thing in a heartbeat if my parents put that in my car when I was in high school)

CadillacGurl
12-05-07, 10:01 PM
the only thing that i hate is those rich yuppie kids whose parents buy them multiple cars even though they continue to total them.
I live in a the fairly wealthy county of dupage and ive seen it ton many times.
Hell, my ex-gf had an Audi A-4 which she totales, so she started driving the family Mercedes ML series, and then her mom bought her a brand new 07 Saab 9-3.
Thats not even what pisses me off, its that these little spoiled brats give those of us who work hard for what we have a bad reputation.
My First car was and still is a 2000 Catera.
I make payments on it everymonth and i pay for insurance too.
due to the car continually having problems and being a big inconvenience to me because i work and go to school full time, i am currently prepping it for sale.
Once it sells i will be financing an 08 car on my own.
But at the end of the day im thankfull that i work hard for what i have because i think it makes you a better person, you learn to appreciate everything you are givin waaaay more.
And i always chuckle to myself because once these kids get out of college they are going to get kicked in the ass so hard and have no idea what to do.
They dont even know how to balance a checkbook.hahaha

Haha my friend lives in Dupage who had the SLK (I live in Downers Grove) Where you at?

CadillacGurl
12-05-07, 10:14 PM
You are 20 y/o and your mom still checks your odometer?!?!?!?

My parents never checked the odo, kept track of me or anything.... they hated when I was out late, cause they worried about other people driving drunk, but that was it.

I dunno, my parents weren't rich, nowhere near that, I had to work for everything I own. I lived with my mom since I was 10y/o and I must say she was an excelent parent, and is my role model to how I'd like to raise my kids some day. She never really set any rules, but at the same time I wasn't out getting into trouble. She never "banned" anything, which just makes a kid want it more.... alcohol? she used to let me drink at home whenever I wanted and buy any sort of drink I wanted, she'd let me have my friends over to hang out and drink (but no driving) To me, that is how it should be.... and heck, I am not even a big drinker now, when they come visit me, they'll get an 18-pack of Coors Light, and only drink a few.... that stuff sits in the fridge for weeks, if not months before I drink it up cause I am tired of it taking up space.

She never set a curfew on me, even in NY when I was 16 and legally wasn't supposed to drive after 9, if I said I was gonna be spending the night at my friends house (she knew all my friends, and I didn't have many) she trusted me, and never checked up etc...

With everything tho, I know some parents tell their kids no tatoos or no piercings, then they go and get them anyway, heck when my mom and I would be in the mall and see the piercing stand, she would be like "hey want an ear ring or eyebrow ring? we can get you one" But, I never wanted one. My mom always talked to me about things, everything, and she didn't talk to me as a parent telling a kid something, but as a friend telling another friend something. I grew up in a very laid back setting, atleast with my mom and step father (who I consider my parents) my birth-father? Not so much....

There is alot more, but those are just some examples, and IMO she was the best parent I could have had, and I hope one day to raise my kid(s) as well as her. I don't want to sound like I am self bragging, but despite that "lack of parenting" (as I've heard a couple times in the past) I am now 20 y/o and completely live on my own, already finished tech school and started my carrer, with minimal debt, not cause my parents pay for my stuff, but because I've been smart with my finances. While I enjoy a beer or two, thats it, I'm not a drinker, and I never touched any sort of drugs, I don't smoke either.

However, it goes both ways, I showed my mom at a young age I was mature, and made mature decsions, she noticed that. Had I been one to go out and do illegal things, get into trouble etc... things would have been alot different... it goes both ways. All I can say is to talk to your kids from a young age, talk to them and tell them what could happen if etc.. not just "no, do not do....." etc... cause that really won't get anywhere. I grew up in a split household with an abusive father, I didn't have it easy growing up, and I could have just as easily gotten myself into alot of trouble and then go blame it on how I was raised etc.... but I saw the cycle and knew it had to stop, so I took the first step.

well, I kinda went off on a tangent there.... ah well, FWIW.

Yep mom doesn't trust me... its been hard for her. Mom is very strict on everything its insane. My father is worse and actually my sister and I talked about him this morning. My sister wants to go to college ASAP to get away from him. We discussed how my father cannot control his temper without hitting us. He hit my brother about 3 years ago which my brother and mom deny it to us to this day, but both my sister and I stood there and watched in horror. The hitting continues to this day (This is one of the reasons why I ran away a year ago). I like being at college away from him, I just feel free. Though over the past year I've learned to stand up to him which has made him shut up a couple times. It's very empowering to stand up against the big scary man you could say.

Vic, I'm sorry about your dad. That's what happened to my mom before her marriage to my dad. It was a big shot to her when her ex-husband cheated on her with 5 different women, one who he was getting married to without divorcing my mom first!! I will admit my mom is a strong woman but she's getting very controlling and demanding of us kids.

Personally NightWolf, your mom sounds exactly like Jason's mom. I love Jason's mom and she allows me to just stay at her house. She's very relaxed and easy to talk to (as you said, like a friend not a mom). We've sat and talked for 3 hours once and I'm glad I can call her mommy. Heck, she even called me on my birthday and left a message "Hey hunny this is mommy. I wanted to wish you the best 20th birthday and I hope everything goes well tonight! Love you!". I mean who could ask for a better in law than that?!

Crown Vic Owner
12-05-07, 10:44 PM
Haha my friend lives in Dupage who had the SLK (I live in Downers Grove) Where you at?
hah

i live scary close to you

like, i am up there every other week

Red_October_7000
12-06-07, 01:08 AM
OK...first off....If i put a monitoring device on the car....doesnt mean I wont tell him about it.....The company I work for has high end monitoring devices on ALL the vehicles....You must sign in to drive them....Just knowing someone is capable of watching curbs youre driving.....They also help spot some bad driving habits and you are able to correct them.

My son is working and paying for the car...insurance and gas himself.....I gave him ZERO.....

He's a good kid....never stays out late...doesnt run around with a lot of hudlums...He is just a car enthusiast.....
The first car I drove was a catalina with a 400ci in it.....heavy as all get out.....
I really dont know if that is safer.....any car can do a 100 ...so if they are going to do it....they can do it in any car.

I talk to him all the time about taking care of the car and himself.....but having him know i can monitor him i think is a good idea......

Well it sounds like you don't realy need to put a thing on his car then. He bought it himself and pays for it himself; he's less likely to be reckless with it because it's his own. Everybody as a kid does stupid shit now and again, I just did it infrequently enough to not get caught -and of course limiting one's own reckless/risky behavior is sign of maturity, but enough about me and how great I am :histeric:.

Seriously, though, you're in a good place here, you don't need to spy on him with or without him knowing it. Talk and trust beat out spying and restrictive rules any day. Nightwolf's got a good point about his mom. My parents were similar if not quite as lienient. As someone who has studied child psychology I can tell you that that's the better way to go. You set out some rules that are the rules -just the barest minimum you need to raise the kid, then you make sure you enfore those rules properly and furthermore don't change them capriciously or just because he's doing something you'd rather he not, not something unhealthy or otherwise deleterious to his condition.

Night Wolf
12-06-07, 07:31 AM
Yep mom doesn't trust me... its been hard for her. Mom is very strict on everything its insane. My father is worse and actually my sister and I talked about him this morning. My sister wants to go to college ASAP to get away from him. We discussed how my father cannot control his temper without hitting us. He hit my brother about 3 years ago which my brother and mom deny it to us to this day, but both my sister and I stood there and watched in horror. The hitting continues to this day (This is one of the reasons why I ran away a year ago). I like being at college away from him, I just feel free. Though over the past year I've learned to stand up to him which has made him shut up a couple times. It's very empowering to stand up against the big scary man you could say.

Vic, I'm sorry about your dad. That's what happened to my mom before her marriage to my dad. It was a big shot to her when her ex-husband cheated on her with 5 different women, one who he was getting married to without divorcing my mom first!! I will admit my mom is a strong woman but she's getting very controlling and demanding of us kids.

Personally NightWolf, your mom sounds exactly like Jason's mom. I love Jason's mom and she allows me to just stay at her house. She's very relaxed and easy to talk to (as you said, like a friend not a mom). We've sat and talked for 3 hours once and I'm glad I can call her mommy. Heck, she even called me on my birthday and left a message "Hey hunny this is mommy. I wanted to wish you the best 20th birthday and I hope everything goes well tonight! Love you!". I mean who could ask for a better in law than that?!

I know exactly what you mean, see, my birth father sounds so much like your mom/step father. He was very abusive... part physical, and part verbal/emotional... you know I believe there are reaons why we go thru life events the way we do, and part of that reason is so that we become a better person out of it, and the other reason is so that when you are talking to other people, instead of staring with a blank face, you can say "I know what you mean, I've been in that situation"

I lived with my father until I was 10, when after a looong, drawn out court battle, my mom won custody. My parents have been divorced since I was 13 months old, and my mom and Rich have been together since I was 18 months old, he was always in my life, and always there for me. My parents do not get along at all, in fact I have never sat down and had dinner (or lunch, or any meal) at a table with both of my parents, it's just something I never experienced.

My father though... him and that part of the family just have issues to put it nicely.... they are not normal. I would have been the same way had I not seen the light and realize what the heck was going on. He can't hold a relationship, he is now married to a girl he's been with for a couple years now, but I know that won't work, or if it does, she will be miserable for the rest of her life... and it's a shame, cause she deserves alot better.

A week before Thanksgiving marked 1 year since I have talked to my father, but see, that is nothing new... there have been about half a dozen times in the past when we just cut off all contact anywhere from 4-12months at a time over something stupid.... but... see, thats how that whole part of the family works (not talking to people for years and years over something stupid) But, my life is so much better, and less drama without him in it. He didn't even have the balls to call me himself to ask me to go to his wedding, he had his g/f call me, only when I said no, 1 week before the wedding did he send an e-mail. When I told him that I didn't feel right showing up at his wedding from out of state, when we haven't talked in 7 months was messed up, he sent an e-mail back saying the same crap he's always said to me, but this time did something that put a smile on my face... and told me to have a good life and don't bother replying back.... and... I took his advice on that, and did just that. I can't complain.

My parents now live near Gainesville, Florida, I have my own life here in central Georgia (about 3hrs from my parents) and my father is still in NY.... which is good. I've been to NY twice in the last few months to hangout with my friends (travel benifits via work makes it easy) and have had no desire to make contact with him again... maybe some time in the future, if he makes first contact (something I doubt) I'll talk to him again... but it woudln't be anything all special or anything. It makes it tough too, cause I am a Jr as he is Sr.... I really don't like that, great way to always be reminded of what you came from, right? so I've really been considering about changing my last name to my mothers maiden last name, one that I much prefer, sounds cooler, more Italian too (both are Italian, hers is alot longer) and there are not many in the country left to carry on that name... but, most of all, I don't need to have that constant connection to my father, or atleast be reminded of it.

Seriosuly, it dosn't even scratch the surface of the crap that I've been thru with him, but it was in the past, My mom and Rich are my parents, the rare time I mention my birth father, and people at work etc... ask about him.... I just reply with its complicated, cause I'll hold nothing back from anyone and tell it all, but I give a warning, it'll take a long time... I mean I can go for hours and there would still be more to tell.

It's a shame people have to go thru this stuff, but it's made me a stronger person, it really did alot more me, and showed me what NOT to do, how NOT to raise a child, how NOT to act in a relationship or towards other people etc... I mean the list goes on.... it's stuff you can't learn from reading a book or something, you gotta experience it for yourself.

I know what you mean about having loving in-laws too.... that can make a world of a difference as well.

Heck here goes more... I haven't made mention of it yet on the fourm.... but... Aimee and I are no longer together.... it was sorta mutual and we left on neutral terms.... it was perhaps the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with (it's been about a month now) but I am feeling better now..... but... her parents were like a 2nd set of parents to me (as were my parents to her) when I lived in Florida and my parents were still in NY, then FL too.... they extended their home and family to except me, I always felt comfortable around them (her parents are divorced too, both remarried) but... I know what you mean, and be thankful for that, for having someone that can play that parenting role and be there for you.

I enjoy talking to people about this stuff, much like I enjoy talking to people about anything, I don't think there is enough good conversation these days. But, I know most people aren't interested or care, so I just aviod getting into it unless someone really wants to know... or.... I meet someone else that has been thru a similar situation, in which case I think it's really good to share storeis and talk about things.

yellowxhoodie
12-06-07, 11:34 AM
Rep. DuPage County!
haha.
im in Glen Ellyn.
prob the worst of all the towns except Naperville.

yellowxhoodie
12-06-07, 11:36 AM
wait a minute STS girl.
whats your friends name?
because i know a girl that had/has a mercedes.
not sure exactly what model, but could possibly be the SLK.

Crown Vic Owner
12-06-07, 11:49 AM
Rep. DuPage County!
haha.
im in Glen Ellyn.
prob the worst of all the towns except Naperville.in romeoville every other day myself

Jesda
12-13-07, 12:51 AM
You get your ring back? I'll avoid saying anything about her, since she seemed nice and you don't seem to hate her.

Night Wolf
12-13-07, 05:00 AM
You get your ring back? I'll avoid saying anything about her, since she seemed nice and you don't seem to hate her.

Yeah, she gave me the ring back. We broke off the engagement a couple weeks before we "officially" split up... the last time we saw each other was at Atlanta airport, when I made sure she got on her plane to Tampa at 10:30PM, we had spent the weekend in NY. We did finally leave on a good note that night... I never thought that would be the last time I'd ever see or hug her etc... and we thought about meeting at my parents one last time (half way point for us) but I think seeing each other and knowing that will be the last time is alot worse.... so we decided against that.

It was, for the most part mutual, things have been going on for awhile but just kinda surfaced at once. There are no hard feelings, though it was one of the hardest things I've had to go through. We both would really like to remain friends, but it's just so hard, cause even the slightest thought brings so much emotion, for both of us. We left off on a good note, said we'll contact each other in 6 months to see how things are going and stuff.

There was no cheating either way... it's really amazing to me how fast people default to that (at work) After a year and a half of being together, and being engaged, we are both still virgins (waiting for the right one) I get comments all the time at work that I must be seeing someone else or have someone "on the sideline" No, I am not seeing anyone else, I haven't met anyone else and I don't have anyone on the side. Yes, I am open to meeting new people, but as of yet, nothing has even came close to happening, I'm not about to rush into anything either... I've got alot more time on my hands now... and the Town Car kinda sits around... alot.... reason why I bought that car was for my 1,000 mile weekend adventures.... now it's lucky if I even use a tank of gas a month in it, though I'll probably hold on to it... I have been thinking about finding the Caddy a new home, it's just more then I want to get into at the moment, but before I do any of that I need to get my darn truck running again.... and now there is that itch in the back of my head for a BMW E30..... so who the heck knows whats gonna happen with that...

But, life is treating me well, I am getting involved at my church more, going to be in charge of audio and video stuff, which is cool, cause I like that, and I met some new friends, a really cool couple in thier 20's that came to my church a few weeks ago, so I am glad to have met some people my age that live closeby that share similar views and thoughts on things as I, things in general have been allowing me to feel alot better about myself and enjoy life more overall.

I~LUV~Caddys8792
12-13-07, 10:42 AM
It's good that you're very cool and level headed about this whole thing Rick. I know things will turn out good for you in the end.

When I first heard about it, I was *very* shocked, and I'm glad that you're able to talk about it to us.

Crown Vic Owner
12-13-07, 12:37 PM
we are both still virgins (waiting for the right one)

Wow, thats just unheard of these days (i mean this in a good way)

Night Wolf
12-13-07, 06:22 PM
Wow, thats just unheard of these days (i mean this in a good way)

I know, and working in aircraft hanger maintenace environment I hear about it alot... oh well, I enjoy standing for what I believe, and I have no problem telling anyone the truth, I've got no reason to hold anything back. Yes we did stuff, but as far as sex goes, nope.

Night Wolf
12-13-07, 06:25 PM
It's good that you're very cool and level headed about this whole thing Rick. I know things will turn out good for you in the end.

When I first heard about it, I was *very* shocked, and I'm glad that you're able to talk about it to us.

Though now it has been a while, even at the time, I was just ready for it to be over, things were going on for a really long time, then just kinda came to a head.... so it wasn't a shock or big surprise that it was going to come down to that to either of us.... which in a way worked out because I defintily didn't want to hurt her in any way durring the whole thing.

I~LUV~Caddys8792
12-13-07, 06:55 PM
So if you don't mind me asking, what ended it?

Crown Vic Owner
12-13-07, 07:05 PM
I know, and working in aircraft hanger maintenace environment I hear about it alot... oh well, I enjoy standing for what I believe, and I have no problem telling anyone the truth, I've got no reason to hold anything back. Yes we did stuff, but as far as sex goes, nope.

Damn man, i aint got shit on you.

Congrats.