View Full Version : You know your in Altanta when......

08-06-07, 03:47 PM
This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, has ever lived in Atlanta, has
ever visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who already
lives in Atlanta, or knows anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta .

Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out
of downtown Atlanta is to turnaround and start over when you reach
Greenville, South Carolina.

All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase,
"When you see the Waffle House." Except that in Cobb County, where all
directions begin with, "From the Big Chicken."

Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused

Peachtree Circle
Peachtree Place
Peachtree Lane
Peachtree Road
Peachtree Parkway
Peachtree Run
Peachtree Terrace
Peachtree Avenue
Peachtree Commons
Peachtree Battle
Peachtree Corners
New Peachtree
Old Peachtree
West Peachtree
Peachtree Industrial Boulevard

Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask
anyone for directions, they will always send you down Peachtree.

And yes, they have a street named simply, "Boulevard."

Only a native can pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue , so do not attempt the
Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right
and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is " pawntz duh LEE-awn."

Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. Coke's all they drink there so don't
ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. Even if you
want something other than a Coca-Cola, it's still called Coke.

The gates at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport are about 32
miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.

The 8 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.
The 5 p.m. rush hour is from 3:00 p.m. to 7:30 pm.
Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2 a.m.

The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately forget all
traffic rules.

If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and it's
on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. Overnight,
all grocery stores will be sold out of milk , bread, bottled water, toilet
paper, and beer.

I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta , which has a posted speed limit
of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run
over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."

Don't believe the directional markers on highways:
I-285 is marked "East" and "West" but you may be going North or South. The
locals identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and the
"Outer Loop."
If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be going southeast.

Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to one of the
interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road.

The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless
your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia .

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia , plus a
couple no one has seen before.

If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites. If you notice a vine
trying to wrap itself around your leg, you have about 20 seconds to
escape, before you are completely captured and covered with Kudzu, and
never heard from again.

It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.
"Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to the store).

Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals (even breakfast) and you start
drinking it when you're 2 years old.

"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

"Momma-nem" means: "How is your Mother and all of the other children and
other members of the family doing?"

08-06-07, 03:53 PM
I think I wanna go to Atlanta. Car of choice for the trip: 1987 Caprice.

I'll give it 27 hours before it's stolen.

08-06-07, 04:01 PM
I think I wanna go to Atlanta. Car of choice for the trip: 1987 Caprice.

I'll give it 27 hours before it's stolen.

Or less.........:bigroll::rant2:

08-06-07, 05:44 PM
HAha...I've been to Atlanta, Georgia one time. I never left the airport.

I could have told you all of that just from my hour and a half layover there at 6:30 on a monday morning.


08-06-07, 06:56 PM
I was just in Atlanta a week or so ago. LMAO! I actually love Atlanta and would move back to GA in a heartbeat. Thanks for posting, Gearheaad!

08-06-07, 06:58 PM
I live on the corner of Peach Hill Lane and Peach Hill Court. Unfortunately, there are no peaches or peach trees in sight.

08-06-07, 07:06 PM
Points to anyone who gets this reference.


Oh, and one more thing, there's an adult film star named Georgia Peach.

Night Wolf
08-06-07, 07:18 PM
I've been to Atlanta a few times.... I live about an hour and a half away.

I live South of Macon.... this Georgia thing is defintily a new expereince for me.... I told myself I am giving it 2 years... I'm a New Yorker, I moved to Florida, which, despite its geographical location, is NOT the South.... Now, I live in the South.

I used to like country music.... but since living here, I never listen to it anymore.....

Coming up, if things stay the way they are at work I may have to choose to keep my same type of job and move to Atlanta, or stay here but switch jobs..... and I really don't want to move to Atlanta... so I'll end up staying here for a bit.

New World of Coke is cool tho.

08-06-07, 07:45 PM
use to live in downtown atlanta ,so how i was dumb enought o think it was a safe place to walk around at 2 am int he morning a few years later is beyond me ..

i thought it would be ok to go into a gas station and get a mountain dew, one hour ealier i had just gotten back to the US after being overseas for endureing freedom. Never got in trouble while i was overseas in the middle of a damn war. There i was running away from a mobil station with 2 guys running after me and 2 more squeeling around the corner in a box chevy. Witnessing a botched robbery isnt a good idea i guess. I ducked into a wafflehouse , guess they didnt wanna join me. the lady at the counter gave me at least 50 refills on my sweet tea to keep me there. Everytime i went to leave she said "uh , you need another sweet tea honey". 2 hours later she causally said "ok honey your just staying over there right?" (pointing at the motel) im like "yup". She said "just run on over there , ill keep an eye out make sure you make it". She also said "thankx for your service" , somehow she knew i was military. , slipped her the money for my bill and the last remaing bit of cash after that from my wallet which was like 26 bucks....

it was nice to know america didnt change much while i was gone .....

Jonas McFeely
08-06-07, 07:56 PM
Dont get me started on Orlando...

Or Ocala: Home of 14 effing N 14th St Rds.

Points! I feel your pain.:highfive:

08-06-07, 08:25 PM
I Luv Caddy's...Damn you and your timing with music! I'm listening to the Allman Bro's right NOW!

08-06-07, 09:40 PM
I've driven through Atlanta one time. All there is to see is concrete.... Everywhere. General Sherman needs to redo the job.

08-07-07, 08:01 AM
Yeah thats atlanta. Add in no turn lanes, 80% of the streets are 1 lane so no passing, And the conditions of the road makes u wonder how everyone has 24s. City has probably the worst infastructure in the country.

08-07-07, 10:51 PM
Dont drive 55 on 285. You will die.

However, the ultimate shitty interstate award goes to I-275 through Tampa. I have driven in New York and New Jersey for cripes sake and I have not seen such a shitty level of driving as on 275. Hills, curves, and floridians... bad idea.

Night Wolf
08-08-07, 04:56 AM
Dont drive 55 on 285. You will die.

However, the ultimate shitty interstate award goes to I-275 through Tampa. I have driven in New York and New Jersey for cripes sake and I have not seen such a shitty level of driving as on 275. Hills, curves, and floridians... bad idea.

I will have to agree with you.... on all parts.

I am a New Yorker tho a bit upstate... but still.... heck, when I was 16 y/o I piloted my DeVille theu the heart of NYC, Long Island and the worst... the Pallisades Parkway in Joysee.... I honestly thought I've seen the worst driving I could have...

then I moved to Clearwater, and delt with US19, McMullen Booth.... and I-275 on a daily basis....

I was wrong about NY and NJ.... totally wrong.

In NY, the worst you would get would be people cutting you off to get into a lane because of a toll or exit etc... and either one, or both parties, in true NY fashion would lay on the horn and flip someone off....

Well... driving thru Tampa Bay is just insane... I lived there for nearly one and a half years... and it was just horrible.... people seriosuly can't drive.

That is one thing I do like about Middle GA. People are freindly and for the most part can drive.... not once have I had an incident driving here yet... but... driving down to FL, not even 15mins after I am in Pinellas country (Pasco isn't much better).... the road rage starts in.

Night Wolf
08-08-07, 05:19 AM
Here is the latest from Florida....

Usually every 2 weeks I start out on a 1,000 mile trip in total, from middle Georgia to Tampa.... my car of choice is my 1996 Lincoln Town Car.

Well, besides on each trip, something new deciding to break, fall off, or blow out on the Town Car, there is always something new going on with the drivers.... atleast I can, and am controlling/fixing the car.

So this past weekend I was in FL, I had to go to the store, Aimee wanted to sleep in a bit longer, so I left... I am on my way back, heading North on McMullen (since many here know the area) we are kinda in stop and go traffic... and there is this Chevy 3500 crew cab towing a large flatbed gooseneck trailer, deisgned so that from the cab, you can't see a thing on the trailer. On the trailer is this steam roller type machine... for smoothing paveed driveways etc...

We are at a stop light , I am behind them, light goes green, they accelerate, I watch 2 of the ratchet straps snap and one complelty fly off the trailer, and the roller machine rolls back until it hits a large chain laying across the bed of the trailer.... I really thing the thing was gonna fall out on the road... right in front of me.

So there was a break in traffic, I change lanes, speed up and get the drivers attention, we are going 45mph, so you can't hear much, but I motion to the trailer, and say the straps... he goes the chain? I said yeah... so he makes sure its clear and pulls over to the side of the road, I decide to pull over too just to show them what I saw.... so I did, there were 4 or 5 Mexican guys in the truck, it seemed like only the driver spoke English... ah well, they were cool about it, very thankful I told them too....

That wasn't the fun part though... so here I am on the side of the road, half the car on the shoulder, half on the freshly mowed lawn, I put my left blinker on (people in Tampa Bay aren't familer with "blinkers" tho) and wait for a break in traffic, most people are already moving over from the truck which is not much further from the road then I... so there is a large break, I decide to pull out.... so I start to merge, not running the engine wide open, just a normal merge.

Well, some clown in a Volvo yanks his car into the far right lane that I was in (after all, its an open lane... chance to pass 2 or 3 people) SEES that I am there, instead of getting back in the middle lane, he contunies to accelerate in my lane. I see him in my mirrior, but unsure of what he is doing, so I keep my car still half way on the should incase he does something stuipd I have an exit plan... well he gets up so close that I can't see any part of the front of his car, literally an inch off my bumper, he is laying on the horn the entire time and flipping me off from within the car.... I am still accelerating, but nearly on the shoulder, I am expceting him to pass me.... then I realize he is not passing me, and I really need to get up to speed with the rest of traffic now, so I lay on the horn back at him, and put it to the floor.... well with the right half of my car still in the grass, all that did was cause the right rear tire to just tear up the grass, so I yank it back on the road with a long tire squeel.... meanwhile the entire time I am laying on my horn back at him (hes still on the horn) He then whips back in the center lane (the lane he was in) passes me, still on the horn, and manages to weave thru traffic acting like a fool.... I see his car though, and he is getting off at the same exit I was.... light was red, there were two lanes turning left, he was in the left lane, I got right next to him in the right lane and just stared at him, he was shocked to see me next to him, but all of a sudden had no expression on his face, or any blaring horn.... he then got his comb and decided to comb his hair the entire duration of the red light, slowly inching the car up more and more.

Light turned green and just as I thought, he must floored it outta there, but making the left turn, I decided to do the same.... I never thought I would get the Town Car sideways, and I've been really easy on my new tires.... but I managed to drift the car thru the intersection, he looked over with a surprised look on his face, and contunied to speed off meanwhile I turned off into another plaza to stop at another store. So that was my contribution to horrible drivers in FL.

Everyday though.... one of the best things I like to do is watch how many cars will just flat out run thru a red light, lights can be long, and the light will turn red, and 4-5 more cars will just continue to keep going.... green means you've got the right of way no matter what... yellow means if you can see the yellow light, you've got time... red means you've got ab out 5 seconds until you should stop unless you wanted to get t-boned by a dump truck (did I mention all the road construction?)

It really is something else driving thru there tho... I give Aimee credit thats all she knows how to drive... and she drives about an hour each way to school and back.... the entire trip is either on I-275, US19 or McMullen..... just horrible, horrible drivers.

08-09-07, 09:48 PM
Well dammed guys,, I should rename this the Atlanta / Florida boad rage blog..........:-P

08-09-07, 09:55 PM
see the problem with florida is every bad driver from NY to Nj to cali come here in search of good wages .....

they alll SUCK .....

i hate florida with such a passion becuse of all the morons that decide to come here ...tyhey have runined my state ....

im fairly sure there is no one left in NY .....there all here ...and gripe about how good it was in NY ....well **** go home then !!!!

08-09-07, 11:14 PM
You know you're in Atlanta,

when you see a car going down the street riding on 4 donuts instead of 4 regular tires. In PA, I could not give donuts away; tire dealers told me it cost them $$ to dispose of them.

I stilll have about 7 in my garage because I am a pack rat. Hey, one more donut, and I can put them all on my car and my wife's car. Can I do that in San Antonio, or do I have to move to Atlanta?

Jonas McFeely
08-09-07, 11:54 PM
There isnt a day that goes by that i am yelling flailing in my car or work truck at shitty drivers. Florida is full of them. I cant tell you how many times a day i see some dipshit doing 5 under in the fast lane.

Im going to stop myself before i say something thats gonna get me in trouble.

08-10-07, 04:16 AM
That list is really funny because it's so true! Years ago I lived in Atlanta for a few months and fell in love with the place. Thanks for posting that.

Night Wolf
08-10-07, 04:34 AM
That list is really funny because it's so true! Years ago I lived in Atlanta for a few months and fell in love with the place. Thanks for posting that.


08-10-07, 04:56 AM
Atlanta is one of my favorite cities, ever.

Night Wolf
08-10-07, 06:48 AM
To be honest, I really haven't done much in Atlanta.... most of the times I went there was for my interview/new hire and then to go to the Coca-Cola musem.

With it being an hour and a half away, I guess I should go check it out a bit more, eh? Worlds busiest airport and countrys largest aquarium.

So whats good to do there? I've heard about underground... what else? anything to check out? I'm not into any club thing or anything.

08-10-07, 10:28 AM
You know you're in Atlanta when you're getting schooled by the HIGH PRIEST OF THE CHURCH OF THE PAINFUL TRUTH!

08-10-07, 12:32 PM
Ohhhh Atlanta.

One of the only places I like even less than Miami.

I lived in the ATL on 2 different occasions which qualifies me for early release out of hell when I die...Time served.

Fun thing to do to someone asking for directions is to tell them to "get on 285 and get off at the last exit"285 is an 88 mile long loop around ATL. Good times.

My parents still live in Lawrenceville outside of Atlanta so I go there often, and dread everytime.

08-10-07, 03:20 PM
*minor hijack* I thought O'Hare was the busiest airport?

08-10-07, 03:26 PM
*minor hijack* I thought O'Hare was the busiest airport?
They gave up the title years ago.

08-11-07, 11:03 PM
The first time I got directions in Atlanta was " Go up windyhill rd, turn right at the Cow, follow the foelane past the chicken and the water park is just a bit past that. after three months there all directions were based on the Foelane,cow,chicken and poorfok restaurant.
For a Yankee I loved that town and the people!