: The Lion And The Cadillac.



Spyder
06-20-07, 07:24 PM
The Lion and the Cadillac.

Fear? I know not fear. There are only moments of confusion. Some of them are deeply stamped on my memory and a few will haunt me forever.
One of my ugliest and most confused moments, I think, was when I was driving a junk Cadillac down the Coast Highway to Big Sur and a large mountain lion jumped into the moving car.
I had stopped for a moment beside the road to put out a newspaper fire in the backseat when this huge cat either jumped or fell off a cliff and landed on its back in the gravel right beside me. I was leaning over the side and pouring beer on the fire when it happened.
It was late in the day, and I was alone. When the beast hit the ground I had a moment of total confusion. And so did the lion. Then I jumped back in the car and took off down the hill in low gear, thinking to escape certain death or at least mutiliation.
The beast had tried to pounce on me from above, but missed...And now, as I shifted the junker into second, I heard a terrible snarling and realized that the cat was running right behind me and gaining...(I was, in fact, Terrified at that moment.)...And I think I must have gone temporarily insane when the goddamn thing came up beside me and jumped right into the car throughthe passenger-side window like a bomb.
It bounced against the dashboard and somehow turned the radio volume all the way up. Then it clawed me badly on my arm and one leg. That is why I shudder every time I hear a Chuck Berry tune.
I can still smell the beast. I heard myself screaming as I tried to steer. There was blood all over the seat. The music was deafening and the cat was still snarling and clawing at me. Then it scrambled over the seat and into the back, right into the pile of still-burning newspapers. I heard a screech of pain and saw the cat trying to hurl itself through the back window.
We were still rolling along at about thirty miles per hour when I noticed my ball-peen hammer sticking out of the mangled glove compartment.
I grabbed the hammer with my right hand, steering with my left, and swung it wildly over my shoulder at the mountain lion.
Whack! I felt it hit something that felt vaguely like a carton of eggs, and then there was silence. No resistance in the backseat. Nothing.
I hit the brakes and pulled over. My hand was still on the hammer when I looked back and saw that I had somehow hit the animal squarely on top of its head and driven the iron ball right through its skull and into its brain. It was dead. Hunched on its back and filling the whole rear of the car, which was filling up with blood.
I was no longer confused.

~H

Kev
06-20-07, 07:45 PM
I think you need to ease off on the antihistamine there Spydie! :eek: :rolleyes: :p

90Brougham350
06-21-07, 11:39 AM
Oh wow, and I thought drugs were bad.

Brian

I~LUV~Caddys8792
06-21-07, 11:46 AM
"Fear and Loathing in Sacramento"?

Benzilla
06-21-07, 11:56 AM
We cant stop here, this is mountain lion country! lol.

AlBundy
06-21-07, 01:26 PM
Ohhhhh, a backseat barbeque. Gotcha.:thumbsup:

Jonas McFeely
06-21-07, 10:43 PM
"Fear and Loathing in Sacramento"?

LOL points

77CDV
06-21-07, 11:09 PM
There are excellent drugs available for these kinds of hallucinations. Consult your physician. Soon.

Benzilla
06-22-07, 01:27 AM
Hey, people spend good money to get those results, and you want to treat it? lol

EDIT: you guys haven't gotten it yet, have you?